number one: Mistake him for harry potter
A random Harry Potter fangirl spots Dib reading a book. "OH-MY-GOSH!"
Dib looks up from his book "WHAT?! AN ALIEN?! WHERE???"
"It's Harry Potter!"
"What??"
She tackles Dib. "HARRY! TEACH ME TO STOP BEING A MUGGLE! MAKE ME A WITCH!"
"MY NAME'S NOT HARRY! AND YOU ALREADY LOOK LIKE A WITCH! GET OFF!!!"
"LUV ME HARRY!"
"GET OFF!"
"Hey, could you dump Ginny for me?"
"GET THE **** OFF ME!!!!"