Set during and after the Season 7 episode "law of gravity" when Grissom returns from his sabbatical. The story is a sequal to my story "drinks with friends" where Sara and Greg discuss the GSR relationship but it is not essentail that you have read it as this one can stand on its own.
She didn't know what to expect. If she was truly honest with herself, she hadn't let herself really think about it. She was scared that if she did, she would see something coming that she didn't want to happen. What if she was just kidding herself and they couldn't be together anymore? If that was the case, she didn't want to know. So she hadn't thought about it. And as she showered off the last remnants of dirt she was glad she hadn't allowed herself to think about it, in case she had imagined some kind of romantic reunion, the two of them embracing and falling into bed together, surrounded by each other's love as though nothing had happened. Had that been the case, their actual meeting would have been a huge disappointment: her covered in the sights and smells of a garbage dumb, backing down the corridor of the lab away from him, looking scruffy and tired, but more hansom than she had ever seen him.
He certainly hadn't imagined it this way either. He had planned to go home, tidy himself up, maybe plan out the best way to tell her how sorry he was for leaving and how much he loved her and had missed her. But when he saw her through the glass of his office window, he couldn't hold back. He had to see her properly to hear her voice. She looked dishevelled, her delicate skin lined with dirt, but she was more beautiful than he had ever seen her.
The events that unfolded during that shift were something neither of them had imagined. The truth about Keppler had been uncovered and now he was dead, the bullet wound seeping crimson blood and life itself right before Grissom and Catherines eyes. Grissom dragged Catherines trembling body away from the ambulance, tears spilling from her tired blue eyes. He held her as she sobbed, slowed her as she fell to the floor, her knees giving in to the gravity of shock and grief. Then as she chocked back the last of her tears, he drove her home and sat with her until she slept.
Dawn had broken by the time he was stood at his front door, pushing it open slowly, not sure what to expect when he made it inside. It smelt like home. It smelled like Sara. The room was filled with a soft warm glow as the sun beamed through the drawn curtains. Only one small slit of light intruded fully, falling on a vase of flowers on the coffee table. There were never flowers here before Sara. He heard the soft padding of feet as Hank trotted up to him, his tail wagging and his tongue lolling from his mouth. He bent down to scratch his ear. "Hey boy."
"He's glad to have his dad back home." His heart leapt as he heard her voice. She was stood leaning against the doorframe, her hair falling in soft curls around her shoulders. She wore only a long navy t-shirt, which stopped mid way down her long calves. She was beautiful. He rose, stepping forward, closing the gap between them.
"And you?" He asked, when they stood just inches apart. She gave him a crooked smile but didn't answer him.
"Are you ok?" She asked softly, knowing what had happened earlier in the night. He nodded.
"I'm fine. Although all of this wasn't really the welcome home I had hoped for." He admitted.
"What had you hoped for?" In answer, he took another step closer, his hands sliding up her arms cup her face, his thumbs gently caressing the soft skin of her jaw. He leaned in and kissed her, her hands resting on his waist as their tongues met. One hand ran through her sweetly scented hair, the delicate strands gliding between his fingers. As his hand fell back to her shoulder she pulled away.
"Gil…" Now she was the one that felt they were moving too fast, suddenly aware of how naked she was. She gulped and shook her head as an apology for breaking the moment. She couldn't deny that she wanted him, that it felt good to hold him again, to have him hold her, but she was confused and hurt, and she needed time to think about she felt. Now he was here, it all seemed so much more real. Their encounter earlier had been brief, only a few words spoken, but it had scared her. She had suddenly realised that this was it: she could be about to loose the man she loves and now as she felt his skin touch hers, she found herself more confused than ever. Every part of her wanted him but her mind was screaming at her, telling her she shouldn't do it. Right now they would just be having sex, not making love and that had never happened before. "I'm sorry, I, I can't do this." His heart sank as he watched her walk past him, her scent filling his senses as she brushed past him.
"I'm sorry Sara," He said slowly, his voice loud in his own ears. "That things have turned out like this."
"Me too." She said sadly, turning to face him, her eyes glistening with tears. He sighed and ran his hand over his unruly grey beard. "Is Catherine ok?" She asked.
"She's upset. But she'll be fine." She nodded and sniffed back the tears she didn't want him to see. "Sara I'm sorry I didn't come home but I didn't want to leave her."
"I know." She said. "She's your friend, I understand that." Her voice was strangely void of emotion.
"I know that's not why you're upset…"
"No it's not." She said bluntly.
"I know because you're not selfish enough to be angry with me for being there for a friend when she needed me." She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "I know because I love you. I'm the selfish one Sara. I should have spoken to you about my plans sooner, I shouldn't have just left…" The pace of his speech was quickening.
"No you shouldn't." He shook his head sadly. "But you did Gil. I thought you loved me and then you left, just like everyone else."
"I do love you Sara. Please don't tell me you doubted that?" He stepped closer to her, taking hold of her hand, searching her face with sad, terrified eyes. She shrugged, her bottom lip beginning to quiver, her emotions crumbling.
"I don't know Gil. I really don't know anymore." He looked down at their hands, their fingers laced together so perfectly, as if made to fit.
"Do you know if you still love me?" He asked, dreading what the answer may be.
"I do." She spoke softy. "That's why it hurt so much when you left Gil. I thought I had lost you, pushed you away…"
"You can never loose me Sara." He said taking her other hand in his. Sara could feel her pulse rising again, their bodies so close she could feel his words on her cheek. She could sense his eyes boring into her, willing her to look up a meet them but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was afraid that was she would find there would push her over the edge, force her tears to fall and she didn't want that. "Sara, please look at me." He finally said. "I know I've hurt you but I just want to make things right. Please."
"I can't." She breathed. "I'm sorry Gil but I can't do this right now." She pulled away from him, feeling instantly empty and very alone. They stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity, Saras eyes on the floor, Grissoms eyes on Sara. A gentle whimper from Hank as he pawed at his master leg broke the silence, snapping Sara out of her trance. "I should go." She said, walking towards the bedroom to dress. He found himself following her, watching her in silent reverence of her beauty. She hadn't even noticed he was there until she was ready to leave and finally allowed herself to lookup from the task she was performing.
"Gil." She gasped, wanting to be angry with him for being there and watching her, but finding herself unable to feel that way, his expression melting her. He was looking at her then the same way he had when they first kissed, when they first made love and when he first said those three words she had waited years to hear. There was a hint of sadness there too.
He was sad that he had hurt her again, sad that he couldn't heal her, sad that she was going to walk away from him when all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything would be ok. The tears pricking in his eyes matched those in hers. He couldn't let her walk away.
"Please Sara," As he walked towards her, her head was screaming at her to back away but she couldn't move. Her pounding heart had frozen her to the spot. "Don't leave." Their fingers were entwined again and this time she did look at him. She leaned in and kissed him, applying the perfect pressure. She was lost in him, and he in her. When they drew their lips apart, their breathing ragged, he spoke again. "Lay with me Sara. Let me hold you." She stepped backwards, still holding his hands and lowered herself to the edge of the bed. She shuffled backwards, her knees drawn up to her chest, giving him room to sit in front of her. He never let his eyes leave hers as he laid down, puller her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arm draped over his body. She felt his breathing slow as he surrendered to sleep but she could not follow him. So she lay there with him in the quiet, darkened room. This is where she belonged, she knew that, but she couldn't bare that he had hurt her again, after all the times he had promised it would never happen now they were together. She felt so close to him now, listening to him sleep, feeling him sleep beneath her, yet at the same time she had never felt such a void between them and it was tearing her apart inside.
Please let me know what you think. I have read lots of good back-from-sabbatial fics and I would love to know what you think of my attempt.
Thanks for reading x