I'd Rather Die Than Follow You

Warnings: Violence, gore, swearing, extreme OOCness (in flashbacks), OCs (side characters/dead), mentioned sex, homosexuality, past drug-use, past suicide attempts (mentioned), and other touchy subjects.

Pairings: Heavy Gibtauri; implied Ottova, Spandarin, and Chinmay

Mandarin's POV

I don't remember much.

I remember my life from before. It was hard, but nice. Full of light and love despite the hardships and pain. I remember by brother's mischievous smirk, my father's kind smile, my brother-in-law's knowledge filled eyes. I remember the children's faces, too. So full of happiness and hope. We were happy, but I also remember the tension.

I remember the stiff shoulders and the worrying dart of eyes. I remember the dark hand that consumed my father. I remember that kind smile turn twisted and cruel. I remember the shouts of my brother. I remember the cries of the children. I remember the tremble of my brother-in-law's hand. My happiness...

Everything seemed to crash around me. We scattered trying to protect the children, to protect our home. We wiped their memories and locked them away so they would live for the future. We stood our guard. It wasn't in our natures to back down, but they fell. I watched as they were thrown aside. Fear struck me as I saw their limp bodies against the red stained ground. I remember tears stinging my eyes. I remember the red-hot pain. I remember that dark hand curling around my head. I remember that chilling energy threading through my mind. I faintly remember my scream.

Then nothing.

Everything from then on was a dark blur. A dark cold blur.

Then I awoke to a reddened sky and a blacked earth. My body stung and my bones creaked with tension as I struggled to sit up, my head pounding. I barely heard the groan that passed my lips and my chest was tight as i struggled for air. I felt like I had been running one of my brother's impossible obstacles during a blizzard.

I slowly stood, careful of my weakened knees and slowly took a look around. I noticed that everything looked burnt as though a wildfire rolled past here. But there was streaked spots of red everywhere. I had been through a war once some years ago, but this seemed different. This was done by a stronger power. That thought brought shivers up my spine and the nightmare of that dark hand that had once gently petted my head.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm my pounding heart, tried to remember how I even got here to begin with. But my memories were blank. I groaned in frustrated. Somehow, I knew that it was the worst time to have amnesia.

But there was nothing I could do now. I just had to keep moving and hopefully find a friendly face to explain the current events. So I started to move in the direction that I hoped would lead me to the city...or what was left of it.

I can only pray that the children are alright.

A/N: Hmm...yeah, I wanted to do something darker/more mature. :) I also wanted to see if I could hold a multi-chaptered story ^^; Wish me luck! :'D And this chapter isn't too great, but once I get into the flow, it will get better :3

Also, a future warning: Antauri. His pre-mindswipe character is VERY different from his current self. I do have reasoning behind this besides the fact that it's fun. So be patient with me :3

I also apologize if this isn't your cup of tea. :)