This one takes place after "Kraglin's Big Day". Yondu's still recovering from the incident in "Nightmares" and "Nightmares Revisited".
::First Time::
Description: Her heart beat fast as Yondu wrapped his arm around her waist. She was excited, and decidedly nervous. But who could blame her? It was her first time after all.
…
(Layla)
My heart was in my throat. It was beating rapidly as I stared ahead of me. This was a kind of excitement I never thought I would feel, never knew I could feel. My hands were sweaty, and my bottom lip was caught between my teeth. I can't believe I'm doing this, after all these years I'm finally doing this! It was crazy, and I was nervous, but all the nerves in the galaxy couldn't stop me from what I was about to do. I bounced on the balls of my feet, eagerly awaiting what would come next.
Yondu wrapped an arm around my waist from beside me, pulling me against his hip with a small laugh. "If you don't quit bouncing you'll bite a hole through your lip." He teased, giving me a sly look.
"I can't help it." I smiled, twisting my hand around the strap of my satchel. "It's my first time on a foreign planet." Of course, he knew that already. It was why I was here. The minute Yondu heard that I had yet to be on a planet other than Xandar he was quick to insist that I accompany him and Garrek on a supply run to the next world. I was hesitant to accept the invitation, but when he said I had no option in the matter I quickly accepted it and began to eagerly await the trip.
I was wearing a dress, something that I had forgot I even had, as Yondu said that the planet was still a little backwards in their views towards women. It was a little high up on the legs, but he said it would be fine as long as I didn't wander too far away from him or Garrek. I actually really liked this dress, which is probably why it was the only one I brought with me from home. It was a simple black dress that went down to my knees (I remembered to shave for the first time in ages because of this). It was made of a material that moved freely when I did and was soft against my skin. There was a cloth belt around my waist that tied in a simple knot at my back. The neck came down in a square cut, and the sleeves just covered my shoulders. It was just modest enough for my comfort, yet showed enough skin to get my father irritated. That had been a good day…and a very bad one at the same time.
It was a few seconds before I realized that Yondu still had his arm around me. We were waiting together at the airlock for Garrek to finish grabbing his things before we headed out. It wasn't like I was uncomfortable, quite the contrary, it was actually the closest thing I'd had to a hug in a long time. I just wasn't used to it, especially not from him. Maybe this is what today is going to be like. I realized. Maybe this planet is a little more dangerous for women than he let on…
I gave him a skeptical look, but he didn't seem to notice it at all.
"So, what's the plan here?" I asked, hoping to dispel the brunt of my awkwardness with conversation.
Yondu looked out the window of the airlock as he thought briefly. "We'll probably hit up a few places to order supplies, eat dinner, and then I'll take you around the city to see whatever you want to see."
"Whatever I want to see? Just, whatever?" I tested the waters a bit, wondering how far I could push this. He frowned, glancing at me finally.
"Well, I ain't taking you clothes shopping." He said firmly. I laughed.
"I wouldn't take you clothes shopping. Something tells me you'd make it really hard to do anything like that." I smiled again, hearing Garrek finally join us.
"Someone say clothes shopping?" he inquired, his naturally dashing smile flashing in my direction. "I need new socks, so if we're going shopping, I'm in."
Yondu growled, finally releasing me to go open the airlock. "Did you tell Kraglin to expect the shipments here by sundown?" He punched in the code to lower the ramp. Garrek gave the affirmative, but I was too busy inching my way out of the M-ship to hear it. We were parked in an open air-garage somewhere near the center of the city, and from where we were I could see for miles.
Stepping out onto the deck of the garage, I inched my way towards the viewing platform as the two men behind me argued about something or another. There was no window over the platform, and the wind whipped my hair around as I stood there looking over the city. It was a complete contrast to the white walls of Xandar that I was used to seeing. The entire city was constructed in browns. I had no idea why, but it was just so different and exciting it had my stomach doing flips. There were trees and other plants growing on the tops of nearly every building, so maybe the color had something to do with camouflaging with nature?
"You ready to get going?" Garrek had come up behind me, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. I jumped in surprise, then whacked him in the chest when I realized it was him, rolling my eyes. He didn't seem to mind the whack, but yowled when Yondu grabbed him by the hair and pulled him off of me.
"She don't want your sweaty pits all over her, ya dumba**." He grumbled, putting himself between me and Garrek. I chuckled at his annoyance. Garrek was probably a few years younger than me, and he was just hyper enough to get on Yondu's nerves. I think the only reason why Captain keeps him around is because he's a good shot. If it weren't for that he'd probably get rid of him.
I didn't let their bickering sour my mood any. I had just gotten off my crutches, my leg was finally healed from the stairs incident, and I was on an alien planet. My inner child wanted to explore but I kept Yondu's warning in mind. I'd stick close to him, even if a part of me wanted to run off and ditch them. I'd save that for a planet more up with the times.
We wandered around the oddly organic city, following the streets towards the center. Yondu explained briefly that all the trees and plants were this planet's way of dealing with the atmosphere crisis that most overpopulated words deal with. He also mentioned that he hated going to Xandar because of the chemicals they put into the air to deal with the same problems. He much preferred this natural method. Garrek made a jab about him being "against progress" which earned him a smack on the back of the head.
I liked it. I had never seen so many plants before in my life. I had seen pictures, of course, but it was nothing like seeing it in person. The air tasted different. I was born and raised on Xandar, so I had never really noticed the air before, but I could tell that the air on this planet was cleaner. It was fresh.
"So, I'm guessing it's more like it is here than Xandar where you come from?" I asked, my interest piqued. Yondu went quiet for a second, and I saw a flash of something I couldn't quite identify come over him. It was like a shadow. A heavy shadow that seemed to weigh him down. He frowned, his shoulders sagging for a millisecond before the moment was gone.
"It ain't anything like this where I'm from." He said, and I didn't ask further.
Garrek spoke up before any awkward silence could ensue, grabbing my arm and pointing out a building. "Layla, remember that spot right there!" He sounded so excited I couldn't help but smile. His energy was contagious. "It serves the best of the local deserts. Also, it's the best bar in the city." His voice lowered to a whisper as he nudged me in the side. "Ask Yondu to take you there later, let him have a few to drink, and you'll get whatever answers out of him you want." He snorted with laughter as I shoved him away and we continued on.
Our first couple of stops were short, and Yondu just left us outside to conduct business on his own. At the fifth stop however, it took him so long I started to consider going in and seeing what was keeping him. It didn't look like a shady place of business, not to be confused with actual shade (there was a huge tree on top of the building). It looked reputable from the outside, so I didn't believe that they were having any kind of standoff with guns inside, but it was taking a while.
"So, Layla, you got a boyfriend back home?"
I blinked. The question had taken me by surprise and I honestly forgot what the answer was for a second. This was maybe the third or fourth time I'd been around Garrek for any length of time, and I didn't know much about him except that he was a big flirt. I'd ignored it for the most part, but he'd never asked a direct question like that before. "No."
"Really…hmn…"
I rolled my eyes, hoping Yondu would be finished soon. I did not like the direction this conversation was heading. "Where is Yondu from?" I asked, trying to derail the topic.
Garrek shrugged, his hands smacking his knees as he sat down on the curb beside me. "Who knows? He won't tell anyone when they ask. I think Kraglin's been there with him a few times, so he knows, but trying to get information out of Yondu is hard. He don't like having weaknesses, ya know?"
I nodded, already knowing this about him. "So you think getting a few drinks into him would make him talk?" I huffed, looking sideways. "Like that would ever happen."
"Oh, if you asked he'd tell you. Only reason he didn't just now's 'cuz I'm here." Garrek smirked, popping a smoke between his lips. I quirked an eyebrow at him as he lit it. I hadn't known he smoked. I guess that would be a hard habit to keep on a spaceship.
"What do you mean if I asked he'd tell me?" I was suspiciously curious, he seemed like he had been implying something. He was about to give a snarky remark when Yondu finally made a reappearance. When the Captain showed up Garrek closed his mouth firmly around the smoke and gave it a puff, leaving me without an answer.
"D*mn f*ckers…" Yondu growled, rubbing the knuckles on his right hand. There was blood smeared over his hands, and I could see that one of his knuckles was split open, as if he had hit a concrete wall. "C'mon, let's get out of here before the lazy f*cker decides to go back on our deal."
I sprung off the sidewalk, smoothing out my skirt as I rushed to catch up with him. Garrek snickered behind me, but I could only roll my eyes and wait for the next moment I could get to finish our conversation.
Yondu lead us through the city with relative ease despite the disappearing light and the larger crowds that started to form. As the night drew closer I started to see the city transform. The natural, organic cityscape was slowly being lit up by bright and colorful lights that I had somehow missed upon first glance. They were hanging up in the trees, hidden along the sidewalk paths, and lighting up storefronts. It reminded me, with a small stab of homesickness, of the winter festivals back home. During the winter festivals back on Xandar people would decorate everything in their power with white or colored lights. But this was completely different. There were lights everywhere, outlining everything. Everything just seemed to be glowing.
Yondu must have caught my amazed staring. He slowed down a bit so that he was walking beside me, wrapping an arm around me and pointing to something up in the distance. I followed his indication and my already round eyes grew rounder at the sight of a storefront that appeared to be made entirely out of lights weaved together. "By day it looks like roots, but it's a completely synthetic structure." He explained, "Most of the city is organic in nature, but by night it looks like it could be something out of Calagniso."
"Calagniso?" I'd never heard of such a place, and this seemed to surprise him.
"Wow, you really were kept in the dark, weren't you?" he laughed it off, his arm pulling me closer to him as a suspicious character walked by us. "Calagniso is the biggest gambling city on this side of the galaxy. It takes up an entire moon orbiting a mining planet, not too far away from here actually."
Garrek sped up, popping into the conversation for the first time in a while. "Me and a few of the guys actually go there on leave a lot. You should come with us Layla, it'd be fun." He tried to say that last bit in an enticing tone, but I shook my head.
"I'm really not much of a gambler." I said, and it was at this point Yondu gave me a skeptical look, and I remembered that I actually was starting to develop a habit for it. Over the course of my time with the Ravagers I had started placing wagers on some things. I never really thought about it, but I guess that did technically count as gambling. Heck, I even wagered against Yondu from time to time. The best pay out in that case had been the time we were stuck at the Exchange.
That felt like such a long time ago, but it really wasn't.
"Well, offers on the table if you ever change your mind!" Garrek said with an open smile, flicking the butt of his smoke into what I thought had been just a tree, but was apparently a trashcan as well.
"I'll keep it in mind." I settled.
As we continued to walk I could feel Yondu's arm wrap tighter around me. If it had been under any other circumstance I might have felt very uncomfortable, but even I could see that he was doing it to be protective. As the nightlife continued to unfold around us I could see more and more unsavory looking characters passing by us on the sidewalks. With each one that gave me lewd look, Yondu would pull me closer to his side and point out something in the distance to distract me. It was kind of nice to know that he was both staking a protective claim over me to every stranger we passed, and still making the time pleasant. He did it so effortlessly, which had my curiosity piqued. When would he have done this before that he could pull it off so easily now?
"Garrek, this is where you f*ck off." Yondu finally said, after a few moments of walking in silence. The sky had gone completely dark by now, and the lights of the city were shining brighter than ever. I looked up at the storefront we were passing by and at a glance I knew it was some ammunitions supply store. Garrek looked excited as he bounced up the cobblestone steps to the entrance. "Don't forget the 950's this time!" Yondu called after him as the door shut. "Little punk…" he grumbled.
We passed the shop without breaking our pace, leaving Garrek behind to fend for himself. I had no doubt that he would be able to take care of himself though. He never went anywhere without some sort of blaster, and I'd personally seen him take down targets from ridiculous distances. He was one of the best, for sure.
Yondu paused at a walkway, his arm around my waist pulling me to a stop beside him. He was staring ahead of us, and when I followed his gaze I saw a group of unsavory looking thugs. Glancing up at him, I noticed he was chewing the inside of his cheek in thought. I was about to ask what he was worried about when I was suddenly being pulled down a different direction from where we were headed before.
"Yondu-"
"How about we get some dinner?" He cut off my question, his tone a bit sharp. He obviously did not want to talk about what he had just seen, so I didn't press, but I was put oddly on edge. If something were to disturb him enough to derail his course it must have been bad. But, strangely enough, the people we had turned to avoid didn't look all that scary. Perhaps he knew something I didn't, but I had a gut feeling that there was something else going on. I've never seen him back away from a fight. "There's a great place a few streets from here. If we hurry, we can get in between dinner rushes."
I kept my suspicions to myself, for the time being.
He'd been acting strange since the incident with the hallucinogen. He seemed… jumpy. Like the walls could reach out and grab him. He was playing it off as nothing, but when I went to see him a week after the incident it wasn't hard to see that there was something wrong with him. I don't know if he remembers me coming into his room, he never mentioned it, but he looked like death. When Doc arrived he told me to leave, and I never found out what had happened to him, other than the fact that he drank himself stupid. There were empty bottles everywhere.
He was probably lucky to be alive.
I couldn't help but wonder what had put him over the edge. Was it all the deaths? Or were the things he saw under the influence of the hallucinogen truly so terrible he nearly drank himself to death to suppress them? Or perhaps it was a combination of both, or neither? I tried not to be worried too much. He seemed fine, physically at least. I might have been overanalyzing him. I really couldn't help it. He'd been there for me during my entire time with the Ravagers, making sure that no one took advantage of me. He took care of me. And he treated me like a person. He was the first person in my life to ever do that for me, so I found myself caring about him. He was my Captain first, of course, but I had started to see him as something more than that. He was a friend. I don't know when I started to see him like that, but the truth is I wouldn't try to change it. I have a feeling he didn't have many friends. He kept most people at arm's length, or further.
In any case, I was worried about him. He seemed okay most of the time, but every once in a while he did something that really seemed out of his character. Avoiding a group of thugs because they were thugs did not seem like something he would normally do. Which meant either he was doing it out of some courtesy for me, or he was acting strange.
Dinner was delicious. If it weren't improper I would have licked my plate, it was so good. Yondu was quiet through most of it, staring down at his plate as he ate. I didn't pay his behavior much mind, instead analyzing the food I was eating. A new world meant foods that I had no idea existed were arranged on my plate in ways I never could have imagined. The flavors were unlike anything I had ever experienced! I dissected everything, trying every ingredient individually and then together in different combinations to experience it to its fullest potential. Yondu caught me doing this about half way through dinner and smirked.
"First time trying off-world food too I take it?" he popped a spoonful of something into his mouth, leaving the utensil just partially between his lips as I nodded. He'd have no idea the extent that I was analyzing the meal, but he seemed amused by my antics. Now that I thought about it, he had no idea that I could cook. It had never come up in conversation that I went to culinary art school. Maybe I'd have to make him dinner sometime as a thank-you for this trip.
"So, you want to check out that place Garrek pointed out earlier?" I asked, scraping the last bit of sauce from my plate with my fork and depositing it onto my tongue. Delicious down to the last drop.
He shrugged, "If that's what you want to do. I could use a strong drink right about now anyway." I tried not to let my worry surface. I had to remind myself that I already knew he was a heavy drinker before I saw him in that state. He was probably fine. "After that we should probably get back to the ship. I've got business to take care of before-" he paused, shaking himself of whatever he was about to say. "Never mind. Are you ready?" he stood, depositing some credits on the table from his satchel.
I nodded, standing and reaching into my own bag to do the same, but he waved the credits away.
"My treat." He said simply, adding a few more to the pile.
The air was colder when we exited the restaurant, and the sky had gone completely black. The chill in the wind was enough to make goosebumps appear on my skin, and I quickly regretted not bringing a jacket with me. I glanced at Yondu as he once again wrapped an arm around my waist, wondering not for the first time when, if ever, he was going to issue me my own Ravager red uniform. The jacket would have been nice right about then.
I tried not to dwell on it, determined not to spoil the evening with negative thoughts.
Garrek's earlier words came back to me as we entered the bar/desert restaurant. "Let him have a few to drink, and you'll get whatever answers out of him you want…" I let that thought sink in as I scooted into one of the booth chairs across from my Captain. It didn't seem fair to try and take advantage of him like that, not that I thought it would actually work. Yondu was a chatterbox when he had nothing to say, going off on rants about what boiled down to be nothing. I could see it was all an act that he put on. He had to be the loudest and most intimidating person to remain in charge, but as much as he talked, he didn't say much. The most I'd ever talked with him was when we were alone, or around a select few other Ravagers. He didn't like opening up.
"Oh, if you asked he'd tell you. Only reason he didn't just now's 'cuz I'm here."
Something told me that others had noticed that Yondu opened up to me more, which I don't think was a good thing in my position. I had enough of the Ravagers breathing down my neck as it was, I didn't need them singling me out because of favoritism on top of it all.
But still, it couldn't hurt to try and learn a little more about the man I worked for. Despite his strange behavior lately, he seemed to be in good enough spirits.
As Yondu looked through the contents of his satchel, I took a moment to look around the establishment. From the outside it was the same as the rest of the city, but on the inside it was a bright, polished, colorful array of mosaics and tiles. Booths lined the walls and there were around fifty black tables across the large floor. There were not one, not two, but three separate bars around the room, and the entire building was packed with people. Chandeliers made of materials unfamiliar to me hung from the ceiling, casting colored light towards the polished tile floor below. Everything just appeared to be glowing.
I glanced down at my menu, noticing briefly the way the colored light played off of my hands. The blue created blotches of color on my skin. I glanced up at my captain and smirked, but I didn't really know why. I guess in the moment it just tickled my funny bone to have the same color skin as him.
The desert menu was extensive, but nowhere near the size of the drink menu. "There's too much to choose from." I sighed, flopping the list of items back down onto the table. I leaned my chin on my hand, propping my elbow on the table as I continued to scan the items. "And everything sounds good."
I heard Yondu chuckle. "I figured you'd be used to things like this, since you grew up on Xandar. Ain't most places there ridiculously complicated?"
I shook my head. "Not like this. Ridiculously expensive maybe, but not overwhelming with options." I heard our waiter stop by, but Yondu waved him off. I shook my head again, "I don't know, what are you getting?"
He shrugged, glancing down at his own menu with disinterest. "Probably the six…" he said, turning over to the drinks section instead. "I'm not much of a desert person. I'll eat 'em, but it ain't exactly something I indulge in. I'm more an after-dinner drink person…"
"I think the word you're looking for might be alcoholic-" I said it before I realized it was leaving my mouth, and I looked up at him for a terrified second before he cracked a genuine smile.
"Well, you might be right about that." He chuckled, the smile lingering for a while as he continued to look at different beverages. "I should probably lay off for a while, let my liver have a break… or, I could just get something a little less concentrated." I rolled my eyes in good humor, knowing from talk around the Eclector that wouldn't last long. He always went for the hard stuff.
"Well," I folded up my menu, "I think I'm going to get the seventeen. And in the spirit of this being our first official time out drinking together, I propose a Xandarian tradition." I knew I had his attention when he looked up.
"What did you have in mind?"
"A drinking game: Five questions. We each take a turn asking a question, and it can be anything! If the person doesn't want to answer they have to take a shot and the other person gets to ask two more questions in addition to the original five. These questions add up, and the game isn't over until we both can answer all of our questions." I explained, then after a pause added. "Or it ends when we both get too drunk I guess." I could tell he was interested, as a slight twinkle had entered his eyes.
He nodded slowly, another smile pulling at his lips. "Alright, yer on."
When the waiter returned Yondu ordered for the both of us, and requested a bottle of some sort of alcohol that I had never heard of for our little game of questions. The bottle was brought first, along with two shot glasses and a three bowls of powder, and Yondu popped it open to start us off. He poured out two shots, and put a pinch of each powder on top of the still liquid. It looked just as colorful as the lights outside.
"Alright," I shifted in my seat, suddenly a little bit apprehensive. I'd never played the game myself, but I'd heard from Glamor that it could get a little bit crazy at times. "Do you want to go first?" He shrugged as he pushed my glass over to me, then sat back in his seat, looking thoughtful for a moment.
"What is… hm," he scratched the stubble on his chin, looking up at the ceiling. "This'll get easier with alcohol in my system, I can tell." He mumbled. "Alright, when I first approached you about hiring you to work in space, what made you say yes?"
I gave him an impressed look, not expecting him to go for something kind of meaningful right off the bat. I knew he was a deeper person than he let on, but I guess this was just further evidence of that. I thought about the question, going back in my mind to the day that I first met him…
I had been working in a local repair shop, I was covered in grease and dirt, and I was very tired. I hadn't slept much the night before, as I remembered, and I was just ready to go home. That's when he showed up. A strange blue man in a red leather coat. He didn't come across as very friendly, and he glared at anyone that came his way. I was hoping that he'd stay away from me, but with my luck he came right towards me after finally finding my boss and speaking with him. He hovered just behind me as I worked, whether he was waiting to be acknowledged or if he was just watching like a creep I didn't know. I continued working until he spoke up. He introduced himself as a ship's captain and flat out asked me if I wanted a job. I told him that I already had a job that provided well enough for me.
"I didn't ask if you had a job, I asked if you wanted a better one."
His words echoed in my ears, and looking at the man in front of me today it was as if he was saying it all over again. He was waiting patiently for my answer, fingering his shot glass absentmindedly.
When I had gone home to my parents that night I had been conflicted. He had told me I had twenty-four hours to make up my mind, and had given me the address of where his M-ship was waiting to depart. I had no other information to make a decision based on. But my decision was made when I had yet another argument with my parents about my life and what I was doing with it. That night I packed a bag, and in the morning I caught a bus to the open hanger where he had asked to meet me.
"I guess I realized that I wasn't going anywhere where I was. I wanted to get away, I just didn't realize how trapped I felt until I was offered a way out. When I decided to go with you I felt free. It was like…" I looked down at my hands, forming them into the best cage-like shape I could, and pulled them apart. "breaking out of prison."
He nodded, as if expecting that kind of answer.
I was my turn now. I decided to play it fast and loose. "Boxers or Briefs?"
He looked stunned for a second before answering bluntly, "Briefs." I couldn't help it, I started to giggle, and that in turn caused him to get a bit edgy. "What's so f*cking funny about that?"
I stifled my laughter and took a sip of the water that I had been given when we first sat down at the table. "Nothing, nothing… I just half expected you to say: neither." I don't know when the idea had started, but I had always suspected that he went commando. Yondu rolled his eyes, I'm sure he was following my train of thought.
"What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"
"Oh, that's an easy one." I groaned, remembering it freshly as if it were only yesterday. "I started my period for the very first time, at church, in a pair of white pants. I was mortified. And at the time I didn't know what it was either so I thought I was dying too. It took an hour of my mom trying to calm me down before I could fathom that I wasn't dying. All my friends made fun of me, it was a real mess." I shivered, trying to shake the memory away. "Have you ever kissed a man?"
Yondu stilled, growing suddenly very interested in the table. In the next moment he brought his shot to his lips and downed it in one go, refilling it before taking a second one as well. I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth fell open.
"Oh my goodness, you have haven't you?"
He glared at his empty shot glass, his lips pulled into a firm line. "I didn't know it was a man…" he growled, and I decided not to push it. "How old were you when you first had sex?"
I had to laugh at that, smiling proudly. "I've never had sex."
"You're still a virgin?" He looked at me skeptically, and I nodded. "Ya ever been kissed?" That was technically another question, but I let it slide.
"Well, once, but I don't really count it. I was five or six, and it was completely forced on me. I've never actually kissed anyone. I had a boyfriend for a while, but we never got that far along." I didn't pause to give him time to comment, instead plowing on with our game. "What is your favorite childhood memory?"
He was quiet for a moment, and for the briefest of seconds he gave off a bittersweet glow about him. "I was probably about eight years old. My father was a fisherman, and he was always working. But every once in a while he'd take a day off from work to take me and my older brother out with him. We'd go to this lake, fish for a while, hunt for berries and other stuff after that, and then go home to cook dinner with whatever we found. The day I caught my first fish was probably the best day of my childhood. I was so f*cking proud of it, but it was probably the smallest fish anyone had ever seen. Mum could hardly get any meat off of it, but we still ate it…" he shook his head, pouring himself another shot in preparation for the next question he'd be asked. "What's the most scared you've ever been?"
"I fell down a well on my aunt's property when I was about nine years old." That memory came readily to mind. "It hadn't been boarded up properly and when I stepped on it, it completely fell apart and I plunged fifteen feet down into dark cold water… It was hours before someone realized I was missing, and even longer before they found me... Ever since then I've had a bit of a fear of cold, dark, small places."
"Well, I won't send you down any sewers then."
"I appreciate that." I quipped, but I was actually serious, just as I suspected he was. "You said you had a brother, do you have any sisters?"
He nodded. "One, younger. Her name's Ghanna. You ever think about shacking up with one of the crew?"
I bit my lip, hard. "Pass." I drank my first shot. Truth is I had thought about it, but was too proper to the core to ever act on those thoughts. "What is your home planet like?"
"Destroyed." He drank his shot, despite having answered, his expression slipping into something dark. "My people live on a reserve. What's left of us anyways. It's a nice enough place, but it's nothing like what my home planet was…" I felt my gut twist at the look of pain in his eyes. I struck a nerve I hadn't intended to. And something told me this was an extremely sensitive subject for him. The fact that he was saying anything at all about it made me feel, undoubtedly, a little special. "I come from a race of beings Xandarians would call primitive. We weren't very far along innovatively before we were taken from our home. We were skilled in ceramics and woodwork, but as far as inventions went we were stuck at the pottery wheel and weaving racks. I think we were just starting to get a running water system for crops before we were attacked…"
"I'm sorry…" I said it without thinking. He shrugged, forcing a lighter tone to his voice.
"Nothing to be done about it now. It's in the past anyways." He paused as the waiter came back with more water and our orders, but as soon as the man left he launched into his next question. "So you're a virgin, who's never been kissed, and you may or may not have thought about shacking up with one of the crew. If Garrek asked you out, would you say yes?"
"No!" I said quickly, shaking my head at the very thought of it. Garrek was a nice guy and all, but he definitely wasn't the kind of guy I'd want to date.
"Hm, well, don't be surprised if he asks. I think he's interested."
"No." I shook my head again. "That just-I couldn't." I took a bite of my desert, thinking over my next question. I was going to try and pry about his past a bit more, but I thought maybe I had pried enough. "What's the first thing you look for in a woman?"
"How steep her price is." I nearly choked at his response. I guess I should have seen that one coming though. He didn't seem like the type of man to actively seek out women that couldn't be bought for an evening. "What's your favorite color?"
At this I blushed, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of embarrassment. I couldn't look at him. It was weird. Or maybe it wasn't, I don't know. I felt weird saying it out loud, to him of all people. "Blue."
Our game continued for the better part of an hour before we both had to call it quits due to the amount of alcohol we had consumed. Funnily enough though, most of our questions ended up answered, we both were just drinking to numb the pain or embarrassment of those answers. Yondu called for a transport vehicle to take us back to the open hanger where our M-ship was parked, and we waited outside in the crisp air for it to arrive.
"I guess I have one more question for ya." Yondu said. He was standing a short distance away from me, leaning up against a tree with his arms crossed. I mirrored his position, wrapping my arms tightly around myself as the wind continued a steady blow. It was getting kind of cold.
I glanced over at him when he didn't continue his thought right away, and he was staring at the ground, tracing designs in the dirt with the tip of his boot. He was frowning, but I could tell it wasn't directed at me. Call it good intuition. I decided to give him his space and let him say what he wanted when he was ready.
"I'm goin' home in a few weeks. Kraglin and a few others are tagging along for a supply and trade run, but I'm heading back to see my family…" he cleared his throat, looking up at me briefly before returning his gaze to the ground. If I didn't know better I'd think he was.. nervous. "Would you join us?"
"You want me to come with you?" I was honestly surprised. Garrek had made it sound earlier that Yondu never revealed where he lived to people. I kind of already figured that Kraglin knew, but I never thought that I'd be privy to that information. "Why me?"
He kicked a pebble into the street. "'Cause I'm going to need someone I can talk to." He glared as the pebble skipped into traffic, watching it disappear into the dark. "It ain't gonna be easy for me to be back there, I haven't been back to visit in almost six years. That kind of time away has a way of makin' a man apprehensive about returning."
"What could you have to be apprehensive about?" I found the idea to be both unfathomable and unsettling. Yondu's behavior lately put aside, on a normal day I couldn't imagine him ever being anxious or scared of anything, let alone a visit back home to see his family. Garrek was right, getting a few drinks into him was the best way to get him to open up, but what I was seeing was making me wish I hadn't done it. The man I normally saw as unshakable, indestructible even, was just as vulnerable as the rest of us.
He chuckled sourly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "Remember I said I have a sister?" I nodded, not quite recalling what her name had been though. "Well, she hates me." He didn't elaborate, as our ride had just pulled to a stop in front of us, but he opened the door and motioned for me to climb in. It was a quiet trip back to the hanger, so the entire way I considered his words and his request. I realized that he was asking me to come along for moral support, which was apparently something only I could give him. It made sense to a point, as he had to play the part of harda** Captain all the time around the rest of the Ravagers, but around me he apparently felt comfortable letting his walls down a bit.
"She hates me." Not, "we don't get along" or "we've grown apart" but "She hates me." When I dissected his wording a bit it became obvious that the knowledge that his own sister hated him bothered him a lot. Such a confession probably hadn't been easy for him. Maybe it was the alcohol, or my impending period looming on the horizon making me moody, but that thought made me very sad.
As we made our way from the transport vehicle to the elevator, I stopped, wiping away some tears that had made it into my eyes. I felt like I had been granted a glimpse into Yondu's mind that no one else had seen before, and maybe I had. I had a suspicion that this might have been the first time he had ever said those three words out loud to anyone.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" He had noticed me lagging behind, and stopped so I could catch up. I continued to wipe at me eyes as I moved to stand in front of him, shaking my head and apologizing.
I finally pulled myself together again when we made it back to the M-ship. The ramp was closed, Garrek apparently still out drinking or doing whatever it was he wanted to do, so Yondu moved to open it up. However, I acted without thinking (yet again) and threw my arms around him, successfully stopping him in his tracks. He grunted in surprise as I pressed myself against his chest and squeezed him firmly in my hug, his breath catching in his lungs for a moment before he relaxed. "I'll go with you." I mumbled quietly. Whatever tension was left in him dissipated the moment I said those words, and he slowly relaxed into my hold. And even slower, I felt his arms come up to wrap around me as well.
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