Per mille

Disclaimer: Genma and Raido belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Rinji and Kotaro are mine :P They will come in the next chapter…

Warning: Contains Yaoi. Don't like, don't read.

A/N: I wrote this some time ago to get rid of my annoying feelings and fears… Genma is pretty much me in this one, but I tried not to make him too OOC.

Flashback begins about a year before the Kyuubi attack - Genma is 17 and Raido 19. Two years after that, main story takes place. I made up their past as I haven't found it anywhere, so if there are some things that don't agree with Naruto canon, please let me know (though most probably I'll be too lazy to fix them ;;)

Dedicated to all those great people who reviewed my stories and told me to write more… all of you, thanks from the bottom of my heart. You always make my day…

Chapter 1

Genma sighed heavily and one lonely tear soaked into the pillow in which he was burying his face.

Raido wasn't here again.

Genma had known from the beginning of their relationship that Raido wasn't much of a home-bird, but sometimes it could get pretty lonely when you knew your lover had returned from a mission safely and the very first thing he did wasn't go home and kiss Genma – no. It was more of a go to the pub and have fun with friends.

That, Genma could bear, even though he never shared Raido's liking for noisy bars and even noisier company.

What he couldn't stand was the sight of his lover, pissed beyond all recognition laughing stupidly and tripping over his own feet as he stumbled into their apartment almost every late night, or better said every early morning.

He and Raido were drawing apart and the distance between them was growing with every night Raido came home too late and absolutely drunk. Genma couldn't help it – anger rising inside him, urge to break something, was overwhelming and he could not control it even if he tried. He didn't, though, and almost every night their neighbours could hear Genma's yell and Raido's much quieter and very lame excuses. Then, the bedroom door slamming behind Genma would come and peaceful silence would occur.

When Genma was too exhausted, too weary of cursing and screaming, the silence would be immediate. At those times, he couldn't say a word to Raido without a threat of killing him. Genma knew it wasn't just an empty promise; he would kill him for sure, or at least hurt him, because when those moments came, Genma hated him so much he himself wanted to cry.

And Genma did not want to hurt Raido. Despite everything he felt, every time he would like to hit Raido in that face flushed from too much alcohol in his blood, he did not want to hurt him seriously. He loved him, after all, still loved him deeply and even though he tried many times to pack his belongings and just leave, he couldn't do it.

Because every time he felt like leaving, there was one of those days. Those days, when Raido managed without tequila and rum and vodka – or at least managed not to drink too much. Days when Raido came home early just to cook something and prepare the table for dinner, when Genma returned from a mission to find his lover waiting for him, sober and smiling. Genma loved those days and they were killing him slowly and surely, as he knew it was just an illusion, only a dream which he was allowed to dream, next day being brought back to reality even more painfully.

Genma sobbed into his pillow – how long ago did Raido once again promised he would stop drinking? Three days, or maybe four? And he was missing again, missing with his idiotic friends and other drunkards, and Genma knew for sure that if he were to go downtown to the most disgusting place called something-Kunai or something-Shuriken or something-like-that, he would find Raido there, already drunk and singing one of those stupid songs.

Why did it turn out like this?

Genma sobbed and cuddled into his pillow. Oh, how he longed for Raido's touch – good old Raido, sober, attractive and playful. Loving, kissing, caressing. Genma would give everything he had, he would gladly exchange all the years (or maybe months – a Shinobi could never tell) he was to live, for only a week with that Raido. Only one week, being like they were then, two years ago…

Flashback

"This is boring…"

"Well I'm sorry, not enough exciting A-rank missions for all the eager newbies."

Genma blushed and didn't even dare to look at his sempai. He had been assigned to a mission yesterday and he almost blew his top when he had heard he was to spend time with that Raido alone. Well… almost alone, as there was one annoying old man to guard.

Genma had been a Jounin only for a month and his specialization was not determined yet. Yondaime had suggested Genma was to be assigned to several missions with various other Jounin to understand their work and eventually make out his own way of doing things.

His very first mission was C-ranked and a Jounin assigned to be his mentor for that one was Namiashi Raido, 19-years-old and already a Tokubetsu Jounin, famous for his Black Jutsus all over the Konoha village.

According to Yondaime, Raido was the best bodyguard Konoha had ever had and when Genma had read Raido's file, he had to agree with Hokage. List of thrilling missions (some of them even S-class) he had completed was long enough to take almost twenty pages, so no wonder he wasn't very fond of the idea of training a younger Shinobi.

And no wonder that to Genma, he seemed very, very self-centred and big-headed. Because Namiashi Raido could be the sweetest, nicest guy you have ever met – that is, if he wasn't bored. And a mission consisting of guarding an old gramps at the verge of his death anyway really wasn't something to keep Raido entertained. He was too much of a professional, though, to keep whining about how extremely boring it was and how he could do much better missions, just like that annoying brat did.

In fact, Genma had said something about the mission being boring only once or twice and the real meaning was something like why is the Tokubetsu Jounin like you wasting his time on a newbie like me. Or maybe it was just meant to start a conversation, as they were not even hiding, Raido suggesting they announced their presence clearly, not wanting the gramps to face any slightest possibility of attack. So they walked with the old man, silence between them as Genma was uneasy, Raido was vexed and the gramps was deaf.

As they walked, Genma kept stealing glances at Raido – the older Jounin seemed cold and inapproachable to him. However, it did not keep him from thinking about how hot the other man looked in those casual clothes he was wearing in order to hide his Shinobi status. Raido was tall and well-built, his muscular form visible even under that black, long-sleeved shirt. Pockets of worn-out jeans were hiding Raido's weapons and Genma couldn't help but smirk at a particularly wicked thought about one certain weapon hidden in those jeans. He found the older Jounin staring at him and he was forced to tear his hungry gaze away from Raido's silky hair and tanned skin, as he felt an apparent question in those deep black eyes.

Raido growled with discontent. It seemed that annoying brat was having a good time making fun of his superior, as his lips curled in a little sneer. Very appealing lips - that Raido had to admit, though unwillingly. He had spent last night reading a file on Shiranui Genma, not really comprehending why the other Shinobis would disrespect someone so amazingly skilled with any weapon known to Ninja world. He had been trying his best to make out something in that file, anything that was enlightening why exactly was this young Shinobi treated like a brat even though he could hit a vital spot of his target standing fifty meters away with just one senbon and didn't even have to look.

However, the reason showed itself this morning, when his partner for a mission came. Though he had seen the photo of Genma Shiranui, it was just a little picture of a face. Raido had expected someone at least as tall as he was himself, with body muscular from the training and with an unreadable expression.

Instead of this Raido's ideal, the man who came wasn't taller than five feet and some six inches, according to Raido's estimation. He wasn't very muscular and his shoulders were far from being wide; even the baggy clothes couldn't hide an evident fact that this man – this boy,to be exact – was way too fragile to be a killing machine he was supposed to be. He looks feminine, Raido realized as his gaze swept over the slender body and the pretty face – tiny golden dots melted into the chocolate of boy's eyes and sparkled playfully, his full lips chewing on a senbon lazily as though saying kiss me or even take me. His hair had that deep honey-like colour and what earned the most disapproving look from Raido was their length. Silky strands tied with a simple ribbon were fairly touching boy's… erm… bottom… Raido realized where exactly had he been looking for a while now and felt strong uneasiness building in him. He wasn't one to make differences between men and women, but he had never liked women who behaved like (or tried to look like) men and he almost hated those affected and polished men who seemed like stupid high-school girls to Raido.

So no wonder he did not like his new partner – Raido was a reasonable man and he tried to convince himself that appearance did not matter as long as he would be capable of doing something useful in a battle, but those little looks that boy was giving him ever since they had set out… it was too distracting.

Finally, when they reached an inn and another of Raido's angry "what" was answered by innocent "nothing at all", the older man snapped.

Genma hardly persuaded his instincts not to use his senbon immediately as the other man practically pinned him to the wall, banging his hands loudly at each side of Genma's head and staring at him like an embodiment of pure evil. He could feel Raido's breath on his face as the other man spoke quietly, irritation in each of his words.

"Look, I don't know what's wrong with you, but stop it immediately. This is a mission, like it or not, it is boring, but we will do it. Then we'll go back, get paid and you won't ever have to see me again. But until then, behave like a Shinobi, not like a child."

Genma felt his heart pounding like crazy, not only in his chest, but in his whole body, in his stomach, in his limbs, in his throat and even down there where it was really uncomfortable, as the distance between Raido and himself was shorter than it should be and twice as far as Genma would like it to be. He knew he shouldn't feel that way and hated himself for it, as Raido obviously didn't share his affection. He was angry now and it was Genma's fault – was he really being that obvious while watching the older Jounin?

He felt strong blush rising to his face and made an effort to free himself, quickly murmuring a lame excuse as he dashed to the nearby bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and rested his back against the reddish wood, the feel of cold and solid touch bringing him back to his senses. Genma closed his eyes and breathed deeply a few times, trying to stop the race of his heart that was becoming unbearable. It was almost impossible, but he managed somehow and shed off his clothes as he decided that all he needed at the moment was one long and cold shower.

Few moments ago he stepped out of the shower almost frozen to death and feeling all that uneasiness and insecurity he had felt before. First things first, he put a senbon in his mouth and chewed on it thoughtlessly, a bad habit of his, which he had developed many years ago. He tightened a towel around his waist and intended to dry his long hair with another one, when he felt another presence in a small room. He cursed himself for not sensing it earlier and frowned at his own reflection in the mirror above the sink, directing his look at the taller man behind him.

"Sorry," Raido said and approached Genma slowly. The addressed one just shrugged and attempted an everything's-ok grin.

"No, honestly… I shouldn't have snarled at you. I'm sorry."

Genma stared into a mirror in disbelief as the other man supported his words by getting even closer – so close Genma could feel the warmth of Raido's body on his own, still chilled from the shower. Short-haired person in the mirror lowered his head and kissed a shoulder of the other reflection – Genma felt those silky lips touching his bare skin and it sent shivers down his spine which had nothing to do with the cold.

"It's okay," he whispered and eagerly closed his eyes.

End Flashback

TBC…

A/N: Begging for reviews as usual... :)