Lady Destiny vs. The Goblin King
Ok, all of you who thought this was a fic where Jareth and I are boxing or some such nonsense, leave now. Anyhow, this idea came to me when a few people asked me what would happen if I met the real Jareth. In which case I would have had to go into a long explanation about any Jareth in whichever given dimension I'm in at the time is the real Jareth. But to skip that, I think they meant this particular dimension, where I currently reside in, the one known as the plague of Listians. Well, here's your chance to find out. Frankly, I didn't want to especially write this, but I figured it might be good for a laugh or two. Hope you enjoy it, and remember to review!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Labyrinth or the Goblin King. The only person I own is myself, and my evil computer if that counts as a character. And I don't own the idea of the Listians either, I just am one. And the e-mail address really is mine, feel free to write to me at it.
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The Goblin King was bored. Period. And a bored Goblin King was a dangerous thing, so the Goblins had made sure to be nowhere near him.
So, being bored and Goblin-less, Jareth decided to go bother a random Listian. Conjuring a crystal ball, he found one, with the interesting web address of TheSadisticLittleFairy@hotmail.com. That sounded interesting enough, especially since she had yet to write anything to the list. (AN: I don't think any of my stuff is good enough, all right!)
He transported himself Aboveground, to this "Sadistic Fairy's" home. He found himself in a comfortable enough room, with comfy furniture. The walls were a mix of posters of various television characters, weapons, and a few interesting artifacts Jareth had no clue what they were.
Seated in front of a computer, was a short looking girl. That wasn't a surprise, most of the Listians were female. That's what made his job fun. The only feature visible from the back was long reddish-orange hair, all tied in a braid that must have gone almost all the way down her back.
"So, are you just going to stand there all day, or are you going to introduce yourself?" said the girl. Her voice was deeper than the age Jareth had thought her to be, and she had a thick British accent. She didn't even turn around when she said this, but kept typing. "It's rude to just stand there, you know. Especially since I sensed you from the moment you came in."
Sensed? Great, another non-human, or at least only half-human Listian. What by the Powers that be was she? He stood up taller, using full-king mode.
"It is rude to not show the proper respect to Royalty." He said. The girl simply made a noise that sounded particularly like a snort. She stopping typing, and banged the side of her computer. "Blasted Aboveground contraption! This thing is evil, I tell you."
She closed whatever program she was using with a sigh, and finally turned around. She had bright Emerald green eyes, a color no human could have. Her hair tucked behind pointed ears. She smiled slightly, revealing her canine teeth pointed like fangs.
" 'Ello Jareth." She said. "Wondered how long it would take you to stop by. And close your mouth. It's very un-gentlemanly."
Jareth did close his mouth, as the girl stood up. She couldn't have been more than 5' 6" or so, and was dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans, like any normal Abovegrounder. But she was most definitely not a normal Abovegrounder, or an Abovegrounder of any kind for that matter.
"What in the seventh dimension of Hell are you?" Jareth asked bluntly.
"Well, it's a bit on the complicated side." Said the girl. "I have heritage in several species, but with all said and done, I would be considered a Fairy."
Oh, a Fairy, that was all right. There weren't many Fairies on the List, so it was a good change, he supposed. Especially since she wasn't a biting fairy. And pretty polite too, unlike those Listians who tormented him day and night.
"And as for my name, which you forgot to ask, it's Emerald. But I'm better known as Emmy."
Jareth raised an eyebrow. He knew that name from somewhere, probably that fanfiction place.
"Now, as much fun as this has been Your Royal Glitterness, I have work to do, so with all respect, scram."
Ok, strike the polite part. "I have done so much as to grace this place with my presence here, and you act as if it were no big deal!"
"You have no idea who I am, do you?" said Emmy, smirking. "Oh J, if you only knew."
Jareth hated mind games. Well, when it was other people playing mind games with him. He enjoyed messing with unsuspecting mortals heads as much as the next Fae. But this Fairy was getting on his nerves. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"To get the answer, you must first ask the right question!" said Emmy.
Jareth growled. "Fine, just who are you?"
"I am known by many names and titles." Said Emmy mysteriously. "But I am known most often as The Lady Destiny."
"I know that screen-name." Said Jareth, growling again. He had read what this "Lady Destiny" had written about him. She had been a thorn in his side since she had first started writing. And using the name of a highly honored immortal, no less.
"Uh…J?" said Emmy. "I don't think you get it. I am The Lady Destiny. The real one." Survey says?
"Yeah, and I'm David Bowie." Said Jareth. Emmy looked about ready to say something funny, but Jareth's glare stopped her.
"You're the Goblin King, for Magic's sake." She said. "You'd think you would at least have somewhat more of a suspension of disbelief that others. And I swear, if you start clapping and saying you believe in Fairies, I will tear you limb from limb."
"Prove it." Said Jareth. My, this had become an interesting day.
"Oh ye of little faith." Said Emmy, rolling her eyes. She closed her eyes, and large white eagle wings materialized from her back, with a wingspan of at least eight feet.
"Big deal, all fairies can do that." Said Jareth. Emmy smirked, as the wings disappeared. Jareth didn't like that smirk. Emmy began muttering, what sounded like words for a spell. Jareth could feel the Magic humming in the room, more than he had ever felt before. Emmy waved her hand once, and green energy shot from her fingers.
"Look in the mirror, J." she said. Jareth turned around, and let out a very feminine sounding scream. He was dressed as Ziggy Stardust!
"I believe you, I believe you!" cried Jareth, trying to change himself back, which unfortunately for him didn't work.
"Don't mess with the Lady Destiny, it could end badly for you." Said Emmy. Jareth glared at her, before disappearing. He could hear her laughter even after he returned Underground.
He made a mental note to never visit that particular Listian again, as he continued to try to change himself back.
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Well, that was bizarre…even for me. Anyhow, I know it isn't any good, but I tried, ok? Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it, and remember…
"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"
Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan