Spirit- I know I shouldn't be putting out a new story, but this is really for my own sanity. Pretty much what happens to Hotaru in this first chapter and probably a few chapters later, happened to me a couple of days ago. The song that is in this chap I wrote after my boyfriend broke up with me. And it is slightly in German...which I suck at spelling. I was in Germany that's why I incorporated the German.
Tenshi-The story's going to be a downer for awhile, so bare with it.
Spirit- Any of you who have had your heart broken know all of what is dispayed here. I hope you all like it. And eventually things will get less depressing.
Pairings- Yami/Hotaru/? (still deciding)
Disclaimer- Don't own Sailor Moon or Yu-gi-oh.
p.s.- for those of you new to my stories, Tenshi is a character I use as Hotaru's long lost twin who is really the Grim Reaper. To know more about him visit my story Tenshi No Kurayami.
It is over…
It is over…
What are you saying?...
"I'm sorry Hotaru… I just don't love you anymore." He said to her, his crimson eyes looking down at the sidewalk. Hotaru looked at him in shock. They had been having problems lately, but she never thought it would come to this. Yami finally caught her gaze, when she didn't respond. The two had been going out for over a year now, they truly seemed like the perfect couple. And she loved him with all of her heart.
I don't love you…
I don't want you…
The words just keep playing…
"Why? I just-… I don't understand. I thought we were getting better again. I thought… we were happy." She stuttered, her beautiful amethyst eyes tearing up.
"I do enjoy being around you. You do make me really happy. You're like my best friend Hotaru and I know I can trust you with anything. But I just don't feel the love for you that I did."
She didn't want to hear that. She wanted him to hate her. Saying that he still cared, only made her heart hurt more. She wanted him to glare at her and tell her to get lost… She wanted to hate him in return. Why was he making this so difficult?
You lead me on
Was it so wrong…
To quit at the beginning?
I fought so hard
I lost so much
That is why I am fading…
The pale girl let the tears roll down her cheeks. It was no use trying to hold them back. People stared at the two as they walked past. They were standing outside of Hotaru's house. She had left on a trip to visit Kyoto for a week, and when she got back she was greeted with this.
"But I gave you everything… I love you so much… how could this happen?" She wanted to run, to scream. She wanted beat the crap out of him, but at the same tim run into his arms. How could the person who is hurting her the most, also be the person she wants to comfort her? "I…I love you…"
Es ist aus!
Es ist aus!
Ich kann nicht verstanden!
Didn't you love me?!
Didn't you want me?!
How can I go through this again?...
Yami looked away again. " Please Hotaru, I can't hear that anymore. I really hurts, because I can't say I love you back. I don't want to lie to you. It wouldn't be fair to both of us if we stayed together."
So? People went out with each other all the time without loving the other. Inside she knew that couldn't work with them, but she couldn't bare the thought of them not being together anymore. To top it all off… it was her birthday…he had forgotten… He didn't want to hear that she loved him… did he not think this was deeply hurting her? She didn't want to hear this. They had decided to go on a break before she left, to give them time. She was hoping that her being away would make him really miss her and figure out he truly loved her. Now it seems that plan backfired. He hardly missed her at all. He told her he pretty much forgot about her. Even if he doesn't love her, do you just forget about someone you say you care for? He wasn't even apologizing for that…
You were the reason I got up in the morning
The reason I always smiled…
You were the light in my darkness
The reason why my heart went wild…
Yami was starting to tear up now. She knew he really did care for her and that he never liked hurting her. Why didn't he love her anymore? Did she do something wrong? She needed a reason. It wasn't fair is she didn't get one.
"Why? Why don't you love me."
Yami looked into her eyes and said sadly. "I don't know…"
"you told me I was everything you wanted! You told me that! How can you not know?" She yelled, anger was beginning to boil up inside of her.
"You are perfect. I know I said you were. That's why I don't know why I don't love you." That didn't make any sense to her. How can there not be a reason? How can you say you love someone one day then turn around and say you don't the next?
I'm tired of these games,
I'm tired of these lies,
Tell me the damn truth.
I don't need any protection,
I don't a place to hide,
I just wanted to be with you.
Yami sighed. "I can't be here for very long…I have some stuff I need to do… What do you want to do now about us Hotaru? What do you want?" Why was he asking her? He was the one who was breaking her heart. He was the one who decided he didn't love her, couldn't he decide what would happen next.?
"What I want I can't have… I don't know if we can be friends now Yami. It's going to break my heart every time I see you. Knowing I can't kiss or hold you. What if you get another girlfriend…I can't deal with that." She replied. "but I also don't know if I can live without you. It's going to eat at me every day not knowing what you're doing or if you're ok."
Es ist aus!
Es ist aus!
Was hast du gesagt?!
Weren't we lucky?!
Weren't we happy?!
How do you expect me to live with that?!
She wanted to die. She wanted to take her life right there. Death had to be better than this. She wanted to tell him that. She wanted him to know just how much he was hurting her with this. Hotaru knew she couldn't force him to love her, but this was tearing her apart so much. It felt like she was being attack physically on the inside. Something was ripping her up, tearing at her heart and stomach.
"I don't know either. I would like to stay friends. I really care about you. More than I care about myself. I just don't want to give you any hope that I might change my mind." Yami said, leaning o his car, his hands in his pockets.
"You don't break someone's heart then tell them that you care. You have no right to say that!" She cried balling her hands into fists. From the corners of her eyes she saw the hurt look on his face.
Es ist aus!
Es ist aus!
Ich kann nicht verstanden!
Didn't you love me?!
Didn't you want me?!
How can I go through this again?!
Wiping her tears on her sleeve she looked up at him. "I'm not going to call you… ever. I'm not going to text you or e-mail you. If you want to see or talk to me you can call me. If you don't… then I guess we'll never see each other again. It's up to you." With that he nodded. She wanted to kiss him good bye. Had she known before she left that would have been their last kiss she would have made it last as long as she could. It looked like he was expecting some sort of good-bye too. Probably a hug. Quickly she hugged him then turned away and went inside.
She didn't wait at the door like she used to, too wave at him once he was in his car. The pale girl just opened the door and went in. She was tempted to look out the window, but stopped herself. She didn't want to see him drive away and chance their eyes meeting when he made the u-turn to go back to his house. Hearing footsteps she looked up to see it was her twin brother Tenshi. He stood at the end of the stairs looking at her sadly. Without hesitation she ran into his arms and cried loudly. Tenshi just let her cry on his shoulder. He knew his sister was hurting badly. Thankfully their adoptive mothers weren't home from their jobs yet. Hotaru didn't need Haruka commenting that she would kill the King of Games. She also didn't need to hear Setsuna's and Michiru's words of advice that she'll find someone else who will be better for her.
"It's not fair Tenshi! I love him so much!" She cried.
"I know you do." He said softly.
...It is over…
It is over…
The words just keep playing…
I don't love you…
I don't want you….
What are you saying?…
Translations:
Es ist aus- It is over
Ich kann nicht verstanden- I can not(don't) understand
Was (pronounced "vas") hast du gesagt?- What did you say?(literal trans is: what have you said?)
Spirit- Well that's the first chapter. I can't really ask if you enjoyed it, cause unless you are a sadist you really shouldn't have. But if you thought it is going to make a good story then I hope you continue to read it.
Tenshi- Reviews will make Spirit smile, make the author smile and send a review.
Spirit- Ja ne!
Death