A/N: It's been awhile since I've posted, because of school and work and life in general, but I've had this one in my notebook for a long time now and am now deciding to post it. It's a GinRan fic, but in a more cynical viewpoint. There are so many sides to their story that I keep getting inspired! It's also in Rangiku's POV. Now, enough of my ramblings, and on to the story!
By the way, you left without saying goodbye to me…
It hurts when I think about you. You meant the world to me and all you did was leave without saying a word. You're like a thief in the night; one minute you're here, and the next, it seems like you've never existed. It's crazy that I once thought you loved me. How stupid could I have been, right? Such a naïve little girl, caught up in the trappings of love. Caught up in my fantasies of us being a family, being together forever. At the very least, I've been taught a very valuable lesson.
You can't trust anyone completely. It only leads to heartbreak.
I was such a naïve thing back then. Everyone tried to warn me. They knew what you really were. In my naïveté, I insisted that you weren't that guy. I wanted to believe in you; I wanted to believe in the boy that saved my life, the boy that saved me from a life of loneliness and heartache.
I wanted to believe in the boy, but I found out that I didn't know enough about the man he became. That man should have never had my trust. Really, I was just seeing the world through rose colored glasses. I was a child who thought she knew better than everyone else.
I wanted things my way all the time, and when I didn't get that, everyone else was the problem. The problem, really, began and ended with me. I was selfish and incorrigible. So I guess, in reality, I have no one else but myself to blame for my current predicament. You'd laugh if you could see me now. If you could see the destruction you've done to my heart.
I'm so pathetic. Weeping and grieving over a man who never loved me at all. The thing is, though, I still love you after everything. Sometimes, in my lowest moments, I find myself wondering if there was any way to save you. Maybe, maybe not. We'll never know, now will we?
I see the way everyone looks at me. Pitying, empathetic glances. 'Poor girl', their eyes scream. 'If only she'd known better. We tried to warn her.' They're right, though. I really should have known better. After all, how could someone who has always been nothing more than a ghost be capable of love?
Now that you're gone away, all I can think about is you and me…
Who's to say we wouldn't have ended up this way anyway? Now that you're gone for good, I can't help but think back at all of the moments between you and me and I can't help but think that you and I were doomed from the beginning. At the same time, though, I remember all the good times between us. The times when you weren't so cold, and I wasn't so…me. In those moments, I felt like you really, truly loved me. Maybe you did. I'll never know, will I?
I can only guess, because you never actually said the words and I can only wonder. What if you had actually said them? Would you have stayed? Tch. Probably not. You've always done whatever you wanted to, consequences be damned.
I have to give it to you though. You leaving was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I finally got to stand on my own two feet without having to rely on you for everything. I finally found out who Rangiku really is. I found out that I could live without you, and while I grieve over your loss, I know I can stand on my own. I will move on from this because I am much stronger now than the girl you left in the snow.
All I can think about is you and me, you and me…
A/N: How'd ya like that one? Very different from my previous GinRan fic, Torn Apart. That one was just sad. This one is for all the cynics out there. Well, as always, hope you enjoyed, and if you feel inspired, send me a review! :)
