"What the HELL AL?!"
"But Brother, it was all alone."
"Right now I don't care. I have to get to HQ and turn in my report to Colonel Bastard. So that thing had better be gone by the time I get back Al. Otherwise I am." Ed turned out of the room and slammed the door in his brother's face. Al looked down at the kitten in his arms and was considering following his brother in order to hit him. The kitten squirmed in his huge metal hand and finally got itself free. Al let it go knowing full well his brother wouldn't be back for another hour or so. It paced around the room going behind every nook and cranny, and eventually lying down to sun itself on Ed's bed.
"Sorry but you can't lay there little guy. That bed's off limits." Al goes to scoop up the kitten when it promptly arches its back and hisses violently at Al. The kitten jumps to the open window and flies out of it landing in a nearby tree.
"Hey! Wait! Come back!" Al climbs out the window and jumps to the tree branch but he unfortunately only makes it halfway, because his armor was so heavy he fought a battle with gravity….Gravity won. The kitten dashes down the tree and takes off in the direction of HQ. Al pushes himself up on an elbow and gives a sigh of exasperation.
...
"Hey Colonel Bastard here's my report."
"Well Ed that was a very short trip you took." Roy smirk as Fullmetal actually tripped over his own two feet while he said that.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT AN ATOM WOULD HAVE TO LOOK DOWN ON ME!"
"Oh please Fullmetal try and control yourself, I swear your yelling is stunting your growth."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING STUNTED YOU JACKASS!"
"Well just leave your papers on the desk I am very busy today." Ed made a growling noise in this throat and slammed the papers down on the desk. He slammed the door behind him, and as soon as he thought he was safe he slid down the door and landed in a heap on the floor. Sighing heavily he pushed the subordinates that were close enough to flock around him.
"Boss you okay?"
"Yeah I'm just tired from the travel it was a long trip you know."
….
"Come back!" This was all the people heard in town as they saw a 7 foot suit of armor running downtown, not that it bothered them, they'd definitely seen worse. Al was chasing the cat and was about to turn down an alley after it, when he realized where it was going. The cat had darted down an alley that led straight to HQ. He and Ed used it so many times it just became second nature to them. The cat was following Ed's scent.
…
"GET THIS DAMN CAT OFF OF ME!"
"Sorry brother. It escaped and I went after it, but I think it took a liking to you." Ed was lying on the grass in front of Colonel Mustang's office being smothered by a kitten that apparently loved his face. Ed was struggling to get the cat off his face but immediately aborted the hopeless attempt when the cat sunk its claws into his flesh.
"Alright brother I think we need to go back to the Colonel's office." Al led the blind alchemist down the corridors. The officers passing them stuffed their fists into their mouths to muffle their laughter. When Al opened the door there were about three people who immediately dropped to the ground howling with laughter.
"Alright let's see what we can do." Riza knelt down to examine where the cat had its claws.
…
Eventually after much tugging, screaming, and howling laughter, the whole team managed to remove the cat from Ed's face. The cat was put into a pet carrier brought graciously in by Lieutenant Hawkeye, and Ed's face was covered in scars. Breda, Havoc, and the Colonel were laughing themselves into hysteria, by the time Ed stormed out of the room muttering something about killing every single damn cat in the country which just sent the trio laughing much harder.