We'll Know It
The chaos of the night was forgotten as the two of them got lost in the moment. His hand caressed her thigh while hers ran up and down in his back. His lips trailed down her neck then back up to her her lips. She tasted like heaven. She felt like heaven. He was in heaven. He heard and felt her sigh and pulled her closer to him. He wanted her. He wanted all of her. Body. Soul. But, there was something wrong. He couldn't do this. They couldn't do this. Not here. Not like this. Reluctantly he pulled away apologizing as he did. He looked out the car window trying to convince himself to breathe deep. But, he could still taste her on his lips. He could still feel her silky soft skin underneath his fingertips. He wanted her. There was no doubt about it. But, he wouldn't treat her like that. She was far to special to him.
Her lips were red and swollen from his kisses. She looked over at him but he was staring out the window. She didn't understand what had happened. One moment they had been locked in a passionate embrace- the next it seemed he couldn't get away from her fast enough. As they sat there she couldn't help her old insecurities from creeping up as she realized that he had no problem making love with women from the past. Trish, Tonya, Frankie, Betty, and most hurtful of all: Kathleen. What was wrong with her? He had told her that he loved her. And just a few minutes ago he had held and kissed her with such gentleness and passion that it took her breath away. Without warning tears fell from her eyes.
He looked over at her and was stunned to see her crying.
"Angela? Baby, what's wrong?"
Shaking her head she looked down at her lap and in a barely audible whisper he heard her murmur "Nothing."
"Angela, please don't do that." he pleaded. "If there is something wrong please talk to me."
She looked up at him and his heart sank at her tear stained face. He gently wiped her tears away as he waited for her to speak.
"Tony, do you love me?" she asked her voice mixed with hope and fear.
"You, know I do. It may have taken me a few years to tell you but I love you with all my heart."
"Then why..." swallowing the lump in her throat she tried again. "Then why did you stop? Why did you pull away?"
"Well, I...."
"I mean you certainly never had any problems before with other women. " she interrupted him. "Hell, with Kathleen you certainly didn't pull away." she snapped folding her arms in a defensive manner.
"Angela? Why are you bringing the past up? Why are you bringing Kathleen up?"
"Why? Why? Isn't it obvious? You made love to her but you won't with me." She knew she was skating on thin ice but she couldn't help herself.
"Angela? Do you really think I don't want you?" he asked gently.
"Well, you did pull away. I think that says it all."
"Angela, look at me." he pleaded.
Sighing heavily she looked at him. His eyes were a mixture of love and sadness. She felt her heart skip a beat.
"Angela, I didn't pull away because I didn't want you. I pulled away because I do."
"I don't understand." she said obviously confused.
He ran his hands through his newly shaven hair as he struggled to find the right words.
"Angela, I have thought of this moment for a long time. The way you would feel. The way you would taste. And if I were any less than a gentleman believe me there wouldn't be any hesitation. But, I don't want our 1st time to be in some car. You are to special to me. To precious. I want our first time to be special. Memorable.
Tears slid down her face at his words.
Gently he pulled her to him and wiped her tears away.
"I want candles and pink roses" he continued. "I want a night that is filled with passion. A night that I can show you how much I love you and what you mean to me. A night that is just for us."
His words filled her with an overwhelming feeling of love. She smiled softly and said that she was sorry.
"Baby, you have nothing to apologize for." he assured her.
"But, I doubted you. I doubted that you loved me. I bought up the past. I never should have done that. But, when you pulled away from me I couldn't help comparing myself to her." she admitted tearfully.
"Honey, there is no comparison. You are in a class all by yourself. No woman can or ever will be as special to me as you are. You are my heart Boss."
Smiling at his words she gently kissed him.
"So, I guess we'll wait for the right time?"
"You got it Boss." he winked at her. "When the time is right we'll know."
"Candles and pink roses?" she asked her eyes and voice lighting up.
"I wouldn't settle for anything less."