Marie is at my doorstep.
She stands right there, looking at me with those big brown eyes and a smile in her face, a smile I can't quite understand. Those lips, god those lips, smirking at me from afar, not an innocent gesture, yet not a predatory one either. Somewhere in between, just like I feel right now, caught in the middle of a sword and a rock.
I stand in front of my bed, not moving an inch, yet my thoughts race at light speed, my heart beating faster than ever before. Something in her makes me nervous, always has, but this time there is something in her I can't describe. Lust, want, need, love, I cannot for the life of me put my finger on it, yet my instincts tell me there is no escape.
I have always been the hunter. The "Alpha Male", as corny as it sounds. I'm out of my element, my mind working as fast as it can to make sense of this situation, yet for all the work it tries to do, I simply can't grasp one single idea. It's a blank slate right now, working but not working. Like a typewriter with infinite ink, yet all it writes is nonsensical words.
She closes the door behind her.
God. I don't believe in that, the thought of a higher power ruling over everything is absurd to me, yet I believe that a higher power is all that can save me. So I pray. I pray to god to give me strength, to give me an iron will and most importantly, to keep me away from the sin this visit entails.
Or maybe I should pray to the Devil, after all, this is some kind of torture. Lucifer, wherever you are, I beg of you, stop this madness. Stop this painless torture, I'll give you my soul for an exit, a way out of this.
Of course nothing happens.
She walks slowly towards me; the sway of her hips not too pronounced, but definitely there catches my attention, hypnotizes me. She stops just a few feet in front of me. Those eyes, staring right at mine. I can see clearly now what is in those eyes. Resolve. She wants something, and she is going to take it. I wonder where she got that from.
It's in this moment I realize I'm unable to move. Yes, I said before I wasn't moving, but I wasn't thinking of moving at that moment. Right now, I want to move, but my body won't listen to me. It just won't listen to me. I'm petrified. And it's those eyes fault. Those beautiful, brown eyes. I remember and old Greek story, about a monster who could petrify just by looking at you. Marie is no monster, but damn, I swear she has that same power right now. Yeah, sweet Marie is nothing like a monster, she is more like a Siren, a beautiful, delicate creature, to be watched and admired from afar, for if you get too close, bad things will happen.
She is young, she has yet to see the world for what it is, and if I get too close, we will both get hurt. So I guess she is not so much like a Siren, although she does have its beauty.
While my thoughts went in a really mythological way, Marie closed the already short distance and stood just a few inches away. Her intense gaze still making me stay right where I am. God, I swear it must be a new mutation or something. Her fingertips rise from her side, and a delicate touch graces my chest. With the softest whisper she says my name, and only my name, but I know she is asking, begging me to do something I know will be the death of me.
Adam, Eve, the serpent and the forbidden fruit, everyone knows the story. Adam did pretty much nothing; Eve was tempted by the serpent and ate the forbidden fruit. There is a parallel with the situation I find myself in right now. Am I the evil serpent, about to give my Eve the one thing I know will hurt her the most? No. I am not the serpent. I am Eve, about to take the forbidden fruit from the serpent. So which is Marie? The answer is simple. She is both the serpent and the fruit. She knows it's not something we should not do, yet she is right here, with me, tempting me, torturing me, and she knows she will, in the end, make me cave in.
Again, she says my name, slightly stronger this time. That tone of hers, there is want mixed with demand, a commanding whisper. That tone is an oddly arousing mix of innocence and sin, all packed in the most kissable lips I have ever seen. And believe me; I have seen many lips in my life. Her fingertips fall slowly towards my stomach and her breath reaches my neck. My breath, hot breath, reaches her white streak, and I know I'm losing it. I'm at the edge of the abyss, at the bottom of the ocean on my last breath, on the final stretch of my free fall, you get my meaning. And no matter what I do, I know there is no lifeline, no last moment save or escape. It's all come down to this, a really old man and a really young girl at the end of the world.
It's so fucking wrong. She is barely 18 years old and I am, well, me. For all we know, I could be a hundred or a thousand, no way to really have a date of birth. She says she is older than she looks, for she has my memories and Magneto's too. So everyone believes that she is old beyond her short years. I don't believe that crap. She says she can clearly see our memories as if she really lived them, so she has lived for a hundred years if we do the math. I don't buy it. If that were true, she would be a lot angrier at humanity, for what they did to me and Magneto. So maybe she can see our memories, like a movie, but she will never truly feel our anger, our pain. She won't be corrupted by it. She is the same girl I met two years ago, although a bit more seasoned in the ways of the world.
The truth is I am afraid. In my mind, Marie is everything I'm not, sweet, friendly, delicate, innocent. I don't want to destroy that. I'm afraid I'll hurt her, I promised to protect her, even if it is from me. Specially from me. You see, I don't know what I would do if someone hurts Marie, maybe I'll loose control and kill the guy, or maybe I'll make him suffer a slow death. But if I hurt Marie, what would happen? I couldn't live with myself, the guilt would eat me, misery would be my reward. So, what do I do in this situation?
I always wear my heart on my sleeve, so I'll say it. I want this. But I don't want this. It is a battle between instincts and logic, heart and mind.
I am not good for her. Who am i to choose for her?
I have to protect her. I can't protect her from everything.
I am too old and she is too young. I am an adult and so is she.
Mind and logic. Heart and instincts.
Her face is now an inch away from mine, her breath mixing with mine. I am slipping, hypnotized in a foggy dream. I want her so much. It would be so easy to surrender, to give her what we both want, even though it would doom us both. And she closes her eyes.
And I break from her spell.
Before the sin is committed, my body answers my plea, moving my arms to her shoulders and stopping her from completing her mission. A silent question makes its way to her face as she opens her eyes, but I'm in control now. I won't kneel again to her eyes, or at least I'll fight the urge to literally kneel before her. I see sadness in her features, I have hurt her. She drops her arms, she gives up.
She turns around. She is leaving. I can't feel like I won, in fact, I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. Every cell in my body is screaming, yet the silence in the room is deafening. It cannot be, I tell myself, it wouldn't be right for her, I tell myself, she'll get over it, I tell myself. I lie to myself.
She turns her head towards me.
Tell me you don't love me, she says.
A single request, a simple sentence. My undoing.
I close the gap, I look in her eyes and I give up. She wins. She won the moment I looked at her for the first time two years ago. It took one look and now I'm hers. I raise my hands, softly landing on the sides of her face covered with hair and I pull. A chaste kiss is shared, a small gesture that truly means the world to us, short enough to avoid her mutation, yet long enough to last a lifetime. I let go and she smiles. The shiniest smile I have ever seen on her face.
A silent pledge is made on the darkness of my room, with the moon and stars as the witnesses.
I'll love you until I die.
Notes:
There will not be a sequel. Maybe a Rogue POV, but don't count on it. Review if you want, point out any mistakes, or don't, I cannot force you to.
Hope you liked it.