Today's episode: The Intervention

Act 1: F.U

At Vallejo's office. Vallejo gets in the office with the lights off

Vallejo: Nice time to relax after two cases in one day. (sits in chair) Just me and my cocoa. It's perf...

Suddenly, a voice speaks out of nowhere.

Voice: Hello, Vallejo.

Vallejo screams and jumps out of his chair. He gets out his gun and shoots wildly. There is a scream and the lights are turned on. Vallejo sees Fillmore and Ingrid.

Vallejo: What the hell are you doing in my office?

Ingrid: It's your intervention.

Fillmore: Who screamed?

A body is laid on the floor, blood gushing from the head due to a bullet from Vallejo's gun.

Vallejo: Oh, thank God. I only killed O'Ferrell. No one else important. Now what were you saying about this intervention?

Fillmore: Sit down.

Vallejo: (sits back down on chair) I don't like the sound of this.

Ingrid: You have a problem. You're scaring Fillmore, the late O'Ferrell and me.

Vallejo: Where is everyone else.

Fillmore: They could care less about you. You are a racist and so they're on pain and suffering leave until episode 5.

Vallejo: So my problem is racism? I told you guys once and I told you before, I'm not going to stop being racist!

Ingrid: Your problem isn't racism. It's not porn, nor cocaine. It's the one thing you can't live without.

Fillmore: Cocoa.

Vallejo: OH HELL NO! I NEED MY COCOA LIKE PEOPLE LIKE FILLMORE NEED FREEDOM!

Ingrid: You're addicted to cocoa. It's affecting your life. You've gained more weight than John Goodman has.

Fillmore: At least he does something with his life.

Vallejo: Are you calling me lazy?

Ingrid: Yes, but if you have one more cup of cocoa. You will go through the three stages which no one wants to go through.

Vallejo: Oh, yeah? Watch me. (drinks the whole cup of cocoa)

Fillmore: You're heading down a path that could lead you to a downward spiral that you could never get out of. Somewhere dark and disturbing.

Ingrid: Fox News?

Vallejo: You guys are crazy.

Fillmore: Well, let's see who's crazy in the next act.

Ingrid: We're here to help you.

Vallejo: I DON'T NEED HELP! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY! I HAVE THE "MORE! MORE! MORE!" SHOW TO DO WITH PRINCIPAL WHATSERFACE! (gets out of office)

Fillmore: This intervention sucked.

Ingrid: Yeah but at least O'Farrell is dead.

Fillmore: Should we go chase Vallejo?

Ingrid: No. If we do, we have all that paperwork and...

Fillmore: Wanna have sex?

Ingrid: Asian or Chinese fetish.

Fillmore: Those people are the same to me. Let's go! Me so horny!