A Trigun Fanfic
A Vash and Meryl Post-Anime One-Shot
(Disclaimer: I own nothing from Trigun, though if I had a choice I'd glomp Vash and give him a LOT of doughnuts.)
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The dishes clinked with the other cups and cutlery as hot water filled the sink, the only noises in the otherwise finally quiet house. Meryl didn't bother turning around when she felt another presence behind her, and only said,
"Milly, it's okay. You don't have to help."
"Are you sure?"
Milly sounded hesitant, despite the fact she was probably struggling to keep her eyes open. Meryl scrubbed at a plate with a bit more energy as she replied,
"Yeah, I'm sure. You can go to sleep now - it's been a long day for you, hasn't it?"
Milly's response was stifled by a yawn, and she let out an apologetic sigh.
"...I'm sorry, senpai. After all that excitement, I completely forgot about the dishes, and--"
"It's okay. Really."
There was a pause, broken only by a soft clink as Meryl dipped the soapy plate into the water, and Milly said quietly, "Good night."
Her slippered feet shuffled away, and Meryl heard the door shut with a click. Letting out a long sigh, Meryl put the washed plate onto the rack to her left, and watched the water drip from it for a while.
Today had been much more than just a long day.
Vash's return with Knives on his shoulder that afternoon seemed ages ago. Meryl could still hear his voice, the lightest she had ever heard it:
'I saved him! It's all over now!'
His joyous laugh after that... it had been so happy, and somewhat child-like. She had never expected to hear a laugh like that from him.
When she had asked him, "Where's your coat?" He had only replied simply,
"I don't need it anymore."
He had never looked so content before, not even after filling himself on doughnuts. His smile after that, at her, had sent a wave of heat up the nape of neck, to her cheeks. Had he always known how to smile like that?
And with Knives... When Vash had been tucking Knives into a bed in the one of their rooms, she remembered asking if Vash knew when he might wake up. Vash's tender expression had not wavered, his eyes calm and clear.
"I don't know. But he will, eventually. And when he does wake up, I'll make him see. I'll make him understand. And... he will."
He had touched her shoulder, just briefly, before rejoining the celebration dinner going on raucously in the dining room. The town villagers had brought food and beer, in thanks to Milly for finding the water vein. The shouts and laughs of excitement were still vivid in Meryl's memory, and it had been felt almost alien, after all the anxious waiting that had stretched so agonisingly over the past few days... but it hadn't been unwelcome.
Meryl still felt like an idiot when she recalled a particular exchange between herself and Vash, when he had slipped quietly away from the crowd and drinking and placed a hand on the door.
"Where are you going?"
He had looked back at her, saying easily, "Just for a walk."
"Will you... will you come back?"
Meryl winced, partly from the knife she'd just cut herself with in the sink, and partly because of the memory. It was such a stupid question, and she'd asked it in such a clingy voice.
His surprised expression made Meryl want to run out screaming with embarrassment - both then and now.
"Yeah, I will." He had smiled reassuringly, and Meryl had looked at her feet, wishing she hadn't asked and feeling pathetic. "Maybe a little late."
Meryl put the knife onto the rack before taking a look at her thumb. The blade had cut through the softer part of her flesh, and was now smarting from the inside out. She stuck the thumb into her mouth for a moment, and then checked it again. The red line was now pale white, and the blood was taking its time to seep out again. It wasn't too deep a cut.
The sound of a door creaking open caught her attention, and as the footsteps neared, Meryl continued to scrub through the plates, ignoring the sting of soap on her thumb.
"Milly, I told you it's okay. Go to sleep," She commanded, plunging another plate into the warm and soapy water.
"She is asleep."
Meryl nearly fell facedown into the sink. She whirled around to see Vash, grinning at her surprise.
"Thought I was Milly?"
"I-I'm sorry, Vash-san."She paused, wondering if she had just sounded like Milly. "You can go to sleep first. I'll just finish up here."
Instead, Vash stepped up to the left of her, picked off a towel from a knob and began to dry the dishes.
"You don't have to do that-" Meryl began, but Vash interrupted,
"Can I talk to you after this?"
"Why not now?"
Meryl asked as she scrubbed a saucepan, and when she glanced at Vash she was startled to see him gazing at her quite intently.
"Just. It's important. Please?"
Meryl was speechless for a few seconds, questions racing through her head, but all she managed to say was, "Okay."
With Vash beside her, gently tugging wet dishes from her hands, time slipped away. After everything was dried and put back in the cupboards, Vash put the towel back onto the knob and set his hands on his hips, exhaling contentedly.
"Let's go outside," He suggested, "Much fresher."
"Alright," She agreed, and she followed him out of the house, watching the back of his head as she tried to fathom what he was thinking.
Vash led them to the cliff where he and Meryl had once been at, beneath the glittering expanse. The dark skies were once again studded with stars, velvety and inviting.
Meryl finally felt a slight smile light up her face. She liked it up here, where the winds were refreshing and the air was cool.
They stood there for a minute, just looking at the sky, the soft shine of stars falling upon the two. The strangest sense that it wasn't silent, or even quiet, but full of whispers from afar and from within occurred to Meryl, inexplicably making the hairs rise on the back of her neck. Finally, Meryl broke her gaze off from the sky, and glanced at Vash.
His expression startled her. He was smiling so happily, he was almost glowing. She had never seen him wear a smile like that before. Noticing her slight movement, his eyes were on hers for a moment, deep and piercing. She realised her mouth was open, and swallowed.
"What did you want to talk about, Vash-san?"
Her words were barely above her breath, but he heard her easily. The air was lush with something warm and tingling, and she was afraid talking too loudly would taint it.
His smile faded a little, though he kept his eyes on her.
"You were trying to tell me something earlier."
Meryl blinked.
"I was?"
"Just before I went."
In the cool air, the blush creeping up her cheeks felt sudden and hot. She looked away quickly, fixing her eyes on a rock by her feet.
"Oh. That."
The morning he had left for his final battle, she had been steeling herself the entire night before to confess the one thing she knew she shouldn't say, because she'd been afraid of never being able to say it.
When she saw him, though, she knew she couldn't do it. Long after he had faded into the distance, she had been so sure she had lost her chance for good.
However, he had come back to them, to her, and Meryl had lost all intention of indulging her selfish need to say it at all. Him being here was more than enough.
"It was nothing," She lied, shifting her eyes back to the sky, but she was no longer able to look at it properly. She could feel Vash's gaze on her, and she fought her blush down, trying hard not to betray herself.
"Meryl."
Her train of thought halted abruptly as she stared at him. He had never called her by her name before. He looked at her, no longer smiling, his face slackened but serious.
"Don't run away. Please... tell me now."
Then it hit her - he knew. He knew already what she felt about him, and he was sorry for it. He wanted to get it over with, because he didn't want to live so awkwardly with her. Because he didn't - no, he couldn't - ever feel the same way she did for him.
His eyes, shielded from her in the darkness and only glinting with the starlight, were hard to read, but... she had a feeling she was right, and it made a small but sickeningly heavy feeling settle in her throat.
Still, she forced on a wavery sort of smile. This wasn't how she'd envisioned her confession happening, but she knew to feign ignorance would be pathetic.
"Vash-san, I just wanted to say..." She began, and was startled to hear her voice sound so brittle. She swallowed, and feeling her eyes burn, she balled her hands into fists and told herself angrily to get a grip.
"...I'm sorry. I love you."
Everything seemed to stop for a moment, utter silence except for the painful pounding in her ears. She didn't dare look up at him. But she couldn't stand the quiet; she had to talk.
"You've been through so much, and I know I can't... I can't amount to much, in the grander scheme of things. I mean... your lifespan is much longer than human life, right?" The tears were scalding her eyes, and she wiped at them roughly with the heel of her palm, still keeping her eyes on the ground. "I know I'm just... one more person in your life. But that's... okay."
Her eyesight blurred, and she shut her eyes tightly. "I don't mean to sound like I want pity, because I know I don't have a chance with you. I knew it, always, but I couldn't help it. And keeping it in won't hide it well enough, so I'm sorry, but I love you, and probably too much. You don't have to do anything."
"You don't want me to do anything?"
His voice was so low and quiet, and so utterly indecipherable, that Meryl felt a sharp stab of fear. She couldn't tell what he was thinking at all, and that was terrifying. But she couldn't stop now. Rubbing at her eyes and hiding her face from him with her hands, she choked out, "Maybe years and years later... if you might remember who I was... that would be more than enough."
The last part of her sentence ended in a whisper, and though the pressing silence was back, Meryl could not bring herself to speak anymore.
Finally, he spoke.
"Look at me."
She raised her head before her eyes with difficulty. Vash wore a genuine smile, and his arms were open.
"I like you, Meryl. I like you a lot."
Meryl stared at him, her eyes wide and confused. He elaborated, his eyes practically sparkling with laughter.
"I like you more than anyone else right now."
She blinked, feeling tears drip hotly past her lashes as he stepped forward with his arms still out-stretched. She was feeling completely lost, until he wrapped his arm around her and her head gently hit his chest.
It was only then Meryl realised how badly she was trembling, and raising her shaking hands she gripped his shirt tightly, his solid warmth and lulling scent challenging her conviction that in reality he hadn't returned, and that she was dreaming of him yet again.
Realising she was soaking his white shirt with her tears, she tried to stop, but they escaped in broken, wretched gasps. When Vash's hand gently touched her hair, she gave into the overwhelming wave of emotion and leaned into him, no longer suppressing her sobs.
Everything Vash had been through, his incredible sadness he had carried since he had lost everything dear to him in his past, and all the genuine tears he had shed for those he had known and those he hadn't; his pain, the deadened look in his eyes when accusations were flung in his face, his eyes heavy with complex emotion and guilt - it had lifted from him, so incredibly, and though it had cost so much, he was finally free. His hope for a life that was peaceful, both around him and within him, had finally been answered.
And he was here now with her, holding her to him, and somehow showing her without needing to say it just how relieved he was that this moment could happen, that in all that had transpired he had not lost her, and had her to come back to...
After a long time, her crying finally trailed to small hiccups, and then nothing. She raised herself from him, wiping at her cheeks, and his fingers brushed her hair away from her eyes and mouth with exceeding gentleness.
Not entirely to her surprise, although he was smiling softly, there were tear tracks on his cheeks. Quietly, he asked,"Are you okay?"
She let out a small laugh, and though shaky it was of real mirth, and replied, "I should be asking you that, Vash-san."
"Would you..." To her surprise, he suddenly looked a little shy, his lower lip tucked in his mouth uncertainly. "Would you call me just 'Vash'?"
She lifted her hand, slowly, and carefully rubbed a tear away from his chin, with her thumb. It was the thumb she had cut in the kitchen, but she didn't care that the salt stung; if anything, she wanted it to.
"Vash."
His name fell from her lips so softly, and so naturally, it felt like coming home. Meryl couldn't help smiling warmly at his obvious pleasure as his eyes brightened and the corners of his mouth lifted suddenly.
Without a word, with her fingers still curled against his cheek, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.
It shocked her, but at the same time, it felt like it was something that was supposed to happen. The moment they had stepped onto the cliff together, or even before that, when their elbows had touched as they washed and dried the dishes, perhaps, their nerves had been tingling, singing out to them that this was waiting for them.
His arms circled around her were gently holding her small form to him, but she clung to him tightly, unabashed as she kissed him back with fervor. There was no need to rush, she knew, but there was also no need to hold back anymore.
Light-headed with joy and drunk with it, Meryl moaned as Vash responded in kind to her and deepened the kiss, his arms tightening their hold on her.
As the seconds ticked by, however, Meryl felt worry seep in. Vash's mouth was unrelenting, despite the fact she was pushing at his chest to hint her need to breathe. When she finally tried to pull back, and Vash just moved with her, she whacked him aside unceremoniously, the swelling orchestra of passion screeching to a halt between them.
"You moron, you might be able to hold your breath for ten minutes, but I can't!" She yelled.
Vash looked up at her from his lying position for a moment, slightly stunned. A warm breeze whistled across the cliffside.
Then he began to laugh hysterically.
Meryl wanted to pound him and tell him to shut up, but when she felt how much her lips were blushing, cooling in the breeze because they were wet, she felt her face burn.
She spun on her heel and began to stalk off, back to the house, meaning with every fibre in her body to leave him laughing alone on the cliffside if he found her that hilarious. Her irritated pout fell apart, however, when he tackled her from behind.
Meryl yelped out loud unglamorously as he lifted her from the ground, and as she tried to turn her head to look at him, he nuzzled her cheek as he continued to laugh happily beside her.
For a moment, she just blinked as he hugged her.
Then, she laughed.
-fin-
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Author's Notes: This is a rewrite of the fanfic I had written and published on around six years ago. (2001 was six years ago?! Holy...) I was leaving it on my account for the longest time, but it was just so... well, it was just so crappy, I had an overwhelming urge to get rid of it. (This isn't the only horribly written piece I wanted to remove, believe me.)
The thing is, I really adore the series, and this ficlet was something that spontaneously sprung up right after watching the anime. I needed to get it out of my system at the time because I needed the fluff. When people write stuff while inspired, there's always this extra-special feeling in the writing, and I felt I really had that in the crap somewhere. So for that, I decided to go for a rewrite, and see if I couldn't polish it up any better.
The main problems I had with the old version was... well, everything. From the dialogue, to the pacing, to the ending. Horrible. I hope this is better, but as it's been a very long time since I've touched the series... In any case, it's a fluffy piece of Vash and Meryl, and goodness knows Vash needs all the fluff he can get. So thank you very much for reading, and I guess I'll try my best to rewrite some other pieces of my crappier, older ficlets, and see if I can't do better. :)
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