author: You have my permission to skip this first chapter. -_- Please feel free to start at chapter 2, because the beginning is boring… necessary… but boring.
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Chapter 1: My Yearning
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What the— ! Hitomi froze as her eyes suddenly recognized the object sitting infront of her. How…? Slowly, she leaned forward, her hand reaching closer, and closer. As close as she dared. No… no, it can't be… Behind the sudden storm of a thousand memories attacking her mind, her tiny attempt at denial struggled to fight back. No, it isn't… it isn't… it can't be…
No, there is no way in hell.
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Every once in a while, on the days when the sun was shining somewhat more gently than usual… maybe with a little breeze… and some massive, dark clouds looming over the horizon — close enough to admire, but not close enough to rain — on those days Hitomi wouldn't really have to work so hard to keep herself moving forward through the world.
Today was one of those days, even though it started kind of crappy. Having gone out to buy her mother a birthday gift, but then realizing she was slightly retarded and had forgotten her wallet at home (…again), she went wandering around the city instead of taking the metro back. After all, I came out this far already. And somehow she didn't want to be that weird idiot hopping off the train and getting right back on the other way. Her metro-pass card was always in her pocket with her school ID and her phone. Well I'll just keep it in my wallet from now on, so I won't get halfway across Tokyo again without any money.
There was some sort of Super-Mega-Happy-Happy-Sale at the shopping mall now, and some saleswoman on a stage with a megaphone, dressed in a disturbingly naughty costume, introducing some music group behind her called "The Blood Thorns" . Hitomi watched from afar as the obviously lame, we-wanna-be-teh-rockz-band got ready to play, and the screaming sea of mindless fans got bigger and louder and SOO excited about whatever was going on that they ran around the mall in hyper little groups buying the discount shoes and microwaves.
"Eh! KawaAAIII!!" squealed some girl beside Hitomi. "Kuro-kun is such a sexy singer!!"
"Holy crap, no way!" said her friend. "That drummer is so hotter."
Thus it came to be that, in order to avoid the risk of falling victim to the brainwashing, Hitomi escaped to a quiet park around the block.
Once there, Hitomi sighed with relief and pleasure. Now I can breathe. The trees were enormous, and their heavy branches hung low to the shady ground. She found the little lookout tower, and climbed up to see those dark clouds in the distance, wrapping their arms around the confused, awkward, vulnerable skyscrapers.
If Hitomi was a normal girl, she would be back at the mall. Not giving personalities to skyscrapers. And if she was normal, she would have friends beside her. She would be wearing makeup. She would have her wallet. She would be able to tell you the exact number of days gone by since she'd last seen… him.
But she couldn't. She wasn't even thinking about—
"Hitomi! Hey!"
Some young man had appeared at her side while she'd been staring out the window. "Good to see you!" He was calm, and his eyes were smiling warmly.
"Oh! Hi… um…" Who the h—?! "Do I know you?"
His mouth opened slightly and he looked at her for a moment, deciding if she was joking or not. Finally he said, "It's me, Hiro… from the track team."
"Oh. Of course." Hitomi blinked. Now she recognized him. Then seeing how hurt he looked, she added, "I'm sorry. You just… surprised me. And you look… um… did you cut your hair…? …or something…" she asked sheepishly.
"No," he said. "But… I guess maybe you've never seen me wearing these glasses."
"Yeah, that might be it." Instantly she was bored. It happened every time, with every man. All the swimming feelings in her heart just kind of went to sleep, and she just wanted to get away from them. No matter how handsome they are…
"Hey Hitomi, I was wondering…" he began, smiling tentatively.
No matter how charming…
"…I was on my way somewhere. It's not that exciting a place, but it would be, if you came along."
No matter how much I'm supposed to like them… I just want to get away. I always need to get away. Because she knew if she didn't, the dullness, those sleepy feelings in her soul would get her mind quiet enough that she would start to feel something else behind it. Something hiding behind everything she tried to do all day to protect herself from it. That old, familiar longing. Because no matter how magnificent they were… they were never him.
"Sorry Hiro, but I didn't bring my money," she said, opening her empty hands, trying to actually sound sorry, "so I can't really go out anywhere."
"Forget that. It's practically nothing to get into the museum. I'll pay it."
Museum?
"Come on, let's go," he said, beckoning to her, and turned to walk out of the park.
"Wait, but I—" Hitomi started. "A- ano…" she trailed off as he kept walking. She didn't have the energy to fight this. He stopped and turned, waiting.
Dammit.
And so, on that particular day, Hitomi didn't fight back, and she was lured to the museum. And everything changed.
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At the beginning it wasn't so hard. At least it wasn't after she said goodbye, and left Gaea. When you've been a long while in the presence of someone, someone who affects you deeply, the closeness soaks into you, and you feel them so much that it still seems like they are with you… even when they're gone. Such a comfort, his smile, his voice in her mind.
But only people in love could be so naive as to believe the happiness they feel now can keep them going forever. And Hitomi — with her eyes always bursting with tears of joy, and her spirit doing all kinds of ridiculous, fluttery things — she was especially oblivious. She barely noticed the gradual change as the places, the smells started to become really hard to remember. And of course as soon as they were lost to her, a cry came out from her body and an aching desire just to have them back again. That life, again. His smell… why couldn't she remember? Forgetting was unbearable. All that Hitomi had now was the knowing it had once been real, and made her so… real. It hurt like hell to be reminded, though. A random chord in a song, a flash of a sword on a TV screen, a clock, gondolas, wedding bells… each hit her somehow with a sudden taste of loss. There was no stopping it. Couldn't help thinking about it. Wondering why she was even here now, how she could have believed the memory would be enough.
"Why am I so pathetic?"
Even asking that question makes me more pathetic. I can't help it though… my mind just likes to run away… All the time. Even if I burn my tarot cards, avoid all swordfighting movies, never look at Allen's twin, Amano… even if I abandon every reminder of Gaea I can think of and go live on a deserted island in the middle of nothing, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter. I'm always spacing out and dreaming about something. All my life. And now it all leads back to him.
Gazing out the window from physics class, watching the volleyball game outside, Hitomi might start wondering if there was more guiding the ball than just physics. Maybe the ball chose who could hit it, who would miss it. Where it would go flying next. Where would it go flying.
Flying. Birds. The pigeons in the park. How different is the world through their eyes. Hopping. Pecking. Leaping into the air. Stretching out their grey wings. No… white. Beautiful white. Steady. Soaring. Strong… white wings…
No! No! Please, it hurts. I can't…
And that's how it went for months. Her mind doing all those stupid, fluttery things like that, which always ended in pain. One night, when she was so tortured with this, she begged all the nameless powers of the universe to let her go back, and at the same time felt disgusted to death that she could conceive abandoning her mother and the beautiful world which had raised her and promised her a full life.
That night she mentally murdered all her lost dreams and vowed not to think of him, not to let herself drift into her thoughts anymore. By filling her time with work and study, track practice again, reasonable and down-to-earth novels, errands for her mother, she kept her mind distracted. She kept the vow.
Until today of course.
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The museum was actually busier than she expected. With luck I'll be able to slip away among the strangers and lose him, and then it's like getting lost, not ditching him. With sad amusement, Hitomi noted that if she couldn't even stand being with such a handsome, pleasant, gentle guy like Hiro, there was probably no hope for her ever starting a family.
No, wait. That thought. It hurts. Not going to think about that. Not allowed.
"I realize this is the lamest place to bring a girl," Hiro was saying, "but I did think I'd be alone, and I just wanted to look at some of the medieval relics." Hitomi was glancing around for a good mind distraction. She looked at him to show she was listening. "Inspiration for my art projects," he added. "But maybe we can go someplace more interesting afterwards… if you like."
Hitomi dodged his suggestion. "Medieval relics? Like what?"
"You'll see. They're over here at the back."
She followed him obediently, no longer quite so bored. Her legs moved on their own as her eyes explored the enormous halls and rooms of glorious paintings, stone carvings, clay statues.
"Everything is so old," she breathed quietly. "The whole building feels ancient."
Excitedly, her soul responded with strange energy as though these objects held more life and wisdom than all the people around her.
"Yeah, it does." He looked at her and asked, "Haven't you ever been here before?"
She shook her head. Hitomi noticed the medieval room was kind of dark, and wondered if they did that on purpose or something. Drifting away from her, Hiro found a carving of a gargoyle and pulled out a tiny sketch pad and began scribbling intently, peering closer to the rough stone, almost to touch it. Hitomi looked away and suddenly there was an ear-splitting electrical shriek.
"OY!!!" growled the security guard in the hallway, marching angrily into the room.
"Gomen, gomen! I'm sorry. That was my fault," Hiro said quickly. "I didn't mean to touch it."
"Stay away from the artifacts!" he commanded, and waved away the other guard that had appeared behind him.
"What happened?" asked Hitomi, as the guard returned back into the hall.
"Just security sensors," Hiro answered, turning back to his sketch pad. "Lasers, or something, I think. That way they don't need to put it all behind glass. Don't get too close to the stuff."
Her surprise wore off, and Hitomi went back to inspecting all the little pots and trinkets, and woven tapestries, and intricate ironwork, and jeweled crowns, and gilded armour, and—
Hey, that thing looks just like a…
Hitomi blinked. Her heart jumped.
What the— ! But that's…
In that moment, the power of all her painful longings struck her a thousand times harder, all at once. She clutched her heart, and her other hand floated up to touch it, as her mind battled the the sharp memories and confusion clouding her head, trying desperately to reason with herself. Trying desperately to be reasonable. Reasonable. It's not real. It can't be.
It can't really be an actual…
She gasped. Her hand shot back to her chest. Now it was glowing. Black iron engraved with strange symbols had been shaped into a sturdy ironwork wallpiece, which hung there, heavy and dark. From within the twists and graceful forms of iron bars, a pedestal had been molded out like an arm from the its center. The black fingers of the pedestal curled around a small sort of bowl or nest, and upon the nest was… an energist.
An energist…!! How did it get here?? Where did they find it?? Hitomi's eyes hovered on the red crystal, and then raced through the words on the panel below, her vision starting to blur as her heart throbbed and blood started pounding through her head. The panel read:
"Unearthed in 1937, by Geoffery Rocentti, near what is now modern day Venice. The metalwork carvings are reminiscent of medieval Europe. The molecular structure of the stone is a deviant form of quartz crystal, in its own subcategory named quartazin rocentti, after it's discoverer. There appears to be organic compounds — remnants of ancient life — embedded in its core, resembling prehistoric reptilian DNA. However, further analysis is impossible without destroying it. Purchased in 1987 from the Oxford Geological Association to prevent scientific dissection, and displayed here to preserve its historical value."
Questions stampeded through Hitomi's suddenly throbbing skull, and blood rushed hot, pressing her veins and whispering louder and louder and filling her ears until she could hear nothing of the world around her. She felt dizzy, and suddenly no longer in control of herself.
And then the voice, strong, weak. Rough and soft. Hitomi… Hitomi…!!
A burning wave rose up from her stomach through her body and swallowed her heart. She recognized the voice of Fanelia's king, and in a staggering blast of memories her body started to tremble. His name came out of her mouth, and as she said it, she saw him so clear, so close in her mind.
Completely absorbed and confused by what was happening, Hitomi felt herself stretching out her arm, reaching for it, for him. Then something dark, deep inside the energist start to move. Hitomi was suddenly afraid. There was an enormous thud as one throbbing pulse of energy shot out from the heart of the waking energist. And then her world fell apart.
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It started when the roaring blood in her ears dropped away, and a far away cry from the hall brought her back to the museum, back to her body, her feet… shaking…
Everything was shaking, shivering. The clink of metal and the rough grinding of stone and creaking of wood and crashing of pottery, and the people screaming and shouting and yelling in fear, and the electrical shriek of the alarm spun around her while the rumble below her feet made her stagger and drop to her knees.
"EARTHQUAKE!!" bellowed a guard down the hall. "Get out of there!! Come this way!!"
"Hitomi!!!?" Hiro's voice. He sounded so far away. "Hitomi!! Where are you??! We have to get out!!!"
Dust clouds from the disturbed ancient artifacts filled the room in moments, and Hitomi couldn't see anyone around her. Faster than she could think — and she didn't think — Hitomi jumped to her feet and snatched the energist right out of it's place. Gripping her fingers tightly around it, she ran straight for the door.
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Where… where am I…? Hitomi looked around. Her initial excitement dissolved into uneasiness as she took in her surroundings. I… I don't know this place. It can't be Earth, but… but this is definitely not Fanelia. It can't be. She stood up and her anxiety started to tighten in her chest.
I'm trapped! Oh, how did I get here…! With growing dread Hitomi realized she would die in this place if no one found her soon.
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(To be continued…)
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author: yes, this is a love story. just hang in there… ._.