Kenosu: well like I said it was heavily edited so here it is
Kishio: and this will be the first and last author's note coz I think some gets annoyed with this
Kenosu: and Kai wont be here anymore coz he's in Konoha
Kishio: well disclaimer: we don't own Naruto or any of its characters
Kenosu: and warnings: shonen ai (meaning mild yaoi), a few suggestiveness, a few scenes, and bloodshed I'll change it if anything pops up
Kishio: well ja ne
Chapter 1
"Pein..."
"Hm?"
"they're back"
"oh good… Kai, Yuuko come in"
And then two figures approached them. Kai looks exactly like a male, her hair was black and spiked downward she was wearing a dark blue longsleeves and baggy pants , anyone would've mistaken her for a male because everything about her screams boyliness . . . or is it because of her . . . erm flatness. Yuuko has a long violet hair that reaches down to her hips and has a loose ribbon clinging near the edge. She was more feminine (you know what I mean -wink wink-) and she wore a red t shirt and pants that fall to her knees.
"hi leader-sama" Kai greeted Pein
"where's the third-" he asked but didn't continue noticing that Kai wasn't really paying attention, he decided to ignore the subject for a while
"we're back! Hi Conan!" Yuuko greeted Conan with a hug.
"welcome back you two" Conan replied
"enough with the emotional comebacks" Pein yelled
"aww you didn't miss us" Kai acted all sad and hurt. A vein popped in Pein's forehead
"the troublemakers are back"
"aww come on"
"ok ok fine … Kai is it just me or your right sleeve seems to be in a darker color?"
"oh you mean this" Kai raised her right hand and pulled up her sleeve to reveal her already healed wound. "its blood, never had the chance to change clothes, Yuuko said we should hurry here because she was hungry"
"well I still am"
"fine but when you're done, report to me at once you have a new mission"
The pair just looked at each other and walked away but before they stepped out of Pein's room Kai whispered to Yuuko.
"what a nice welcome present"
"he really doesn't like us, ne?"
"how about we do something . . ." Kai trailed of and Pein, who was busy looking at the reports the two sent him, magically heard it and snapped back
"don't even dare" the two just giggled and left. Outside his room, Deidara and Sasori were walking along the hallway, they noticed Kai and Yuuko giggling evilly to each other
"this cant be good" Sasori sighed he noticed a little bottle that was in Kai's hand "uhh what's that?" he asked gesturing to the bottle. The two just grinned smugly.
"Welcome back, un" Deidara greeted bouncing towards them
"yo, Dei-sensei" Kai smiled nobody but Yuuko saw the glint of mischief in Kai's eyes
"yo Kai-chan" Deidara replied "how's the technique? un"
"almost got it"
"yep she always tries it out you know, every fucking night" Yuuko added
"are we even allowed to swear, un?" Deidara asked
"of course we are, its fun too"
"you know it's hard to perfect two techniques at the same time" Kai crossed her arms in front of her.
"that's why I told you to focus on Deidara's technique first" Sasori replied lazily raising his eyebrow
"come on Sasori-sensei I got one hand with a mouth and one with increased capacity to control chakra" she raised both of her hands to prove the point, her right hand had a symbol that suspiciously looks like the mangekyou only with longer edges and the other had a mouth like Deidara's
"hey a wound, un" Deidara said quite happily
"I already healed him" Yuuko said
"right, how are the healing techniques?" Deidara asked.
"still working" Yuuko replied as she raised both of her hands so that back of it are shown to them, showing symbols that looks like herbs crawling from her hand to her elbow
"okay" he replied smiling
"well we got to go I'm still hungry" Yuuko yelled dragging Kai along.
"ah Dei-sensei I'm out of clay" Kai yelled trying to stop Yuuko but failed miserably
"yeah I'll give you some later, un"
At the kitchen.
"I'm hungry" Yuuko yelled. They saw plenty of food on the table
"help yourself" says… Zetsu
"Zetsu hi hehe don't tell me that you're the one who cooked all of this" Kai nervously asked (come on you know why)
"of course not, we ordered out" Zetsu replied both released breath of relief. Tobi stepped into the kitchen.
"yo Tobi"
"hi Kai-chan, Yuuko-chan okairi" he greeted childishly as always
"thanks Tobi where's Kakuzu and Hidan?" Yuuko started eating
"Kakuzu is bounty hunting once again and Hidan is, as usual, praising Jashin"
"how about Itachi and Kisame?" Kai asked nibbling on some donut
"Kisame has gone swimming, Itachi is having his beauty sleep" Tobi was eating cookies, Zetsu was just sitting there staring. Kai noticed and sweatdropped
"eheheh I'm going to ask Dei-sensei about the clay ja ne" Kai ran out of the room
"what's wrong with him" Yuuko asked, Tobi shrugged then stopped
"where's the other one?"
"Dei-sensei! Saso-sensei! Where are you?" Kai whispered (she whispered it for unknown reasons). She saw Deidara pushed up the wall by (who else?) Sasori they were erm…making out they seemed to be so busy that they didn't notice Kai. Kai smirked "how does that go again?" she asked herself. She raised her hand and chakra strings were connected is Sasori's body she wasn't going to control Sasori's body, not yet anyway so it was a bit loose so Sasori didn't notice (again -sigh- the power of making out) she carefully pulled the strings (caaaaaaarefully) making Sasori undo the clasps of Deidara's cloak slowly that even Sasori (yep you guessed again) didn't notice. But Deidara seemed to snap out of the make-you-numb-that-you-don't-know-what-you're-doing spell in the form of making out.
"anou Sasori?"
"hm?" Sasori moved down to the neck area.
"wh-what are you…" Kai made Sasori's hand go up Deidara's t shirt and well you know. Sasori (finally) noticed and became red. He quickly tried to get out of the awkward situation but found out that he couldn't, and then he saw the chakra strings attached to him he also heard the muffled laughter behind the post. Realization dawned on him.
"KAI!" He quickly cut the strings and summoned his puppets to capture Kai which he did and he quickly brought the still laughing Kai in front of them "you…" there were so much anger in his voice enough to make a big masculine man cry for his mommy. But Kai was still laughing even when a kunai full of poison was aimed for her throat. Kai's laughing eventually died down.
"what, I'm practicing the technique you taught me" Kai said
"S-Sasori, I don't mind" Deidara held Sasori's shoulders
"but still…"
"come on Sasori leader-sama will get mad at you do you want to be punished again?" Sasori stopped and thought of the situation that he's in
"don't worry it's worth it" he said evilly his fingers twitching. Kai twitched the fingers in her right hand this time controlling Deidara she made Deidara hug Sasori pushing them down to the cold floor. Sasori lost control of his puppets releasing Kai. Taking this chance Kai went out of harms way but still controlling Deidara. She made Deidara pin Sasori to the ground.
"Deidara! Get of me!" Sasori shouted. Kai was actually surprised that Deidara didn't even resist or fight back he just let Kai control him. Playing around she lowered Deidara lower…lower until he was face to face with Sasori she made them kiss, it was a long kiss that seem to startle Sasori she pulled him up again she knelt down besides Deidara, she whispered something to Deidara he blushed then laughed he got of Sasori and stood.
"hehe I guess so" Deidara replied
"well then I'm just gonna ask for some clay if you don't mind" Kai said helping Sasori up "ne Sasori you forgive me right?"
"hnggmnnn" was his only reply. Deidara got a pouch from his pocket and gave it to Kai.
"arigato!" Kai ran towards the kitchen
"she grows up fast, un"
"hnggmnnn"
"Sasori-danna?"
"Yuuko are you done eati-" Kai saw that the mountains of food was reduced to a little hill "yep she was hungry" then she saw Yuuko with a contented smile "whoa Yuuko I wonder where all of the food goes you never became fat from all of those calories"
"it goes to my boo-"
"hello you two"
"oh Itachi-san is awake" Kai walked up to Itachi
"what happened to the food?" Itachi asked. Kai pointed at Yuuko, Itachi sighed "well she never changed"
"I'm just waiting for her to digest her food and we'll be going…again"
"I'm done lets go"
"here we go agaaaaaaain" Kai was dragged by Yuuko towards Pein's room.
Itachi sighed again. "things never really change. Hey Zetsu do you have any food left?"
"leader-sama, we're here!"
"Kai don't be so loud"
"come on Yuuko lets go" they went to Pein's bathroom and emptied the small bottle from earlier to his shampoo
"Kai, Yuuko what are you doing in my bathroom?!"
"uhh making out?" Kai replied, Yuuko was used to this moments just to escape the victims wrath, most of the things she say are unbelievable but some always believes her (wonder why)
"yeah right! You were planning to prank me again!"
"great he knew, come on Yuuko stop pouring acid to leader-sama's lotion"
"-sigh- alright"
"acid… now get out there unless you want me to punish you!"
"hai leader-sama!" they both said in unison and went out of the bathroom.
"oh leader-sama how about her?"
"yeah your not gonna send us alone on this mission"
"as soon as she comes back I'll send her to your destination"
"no" Kai said
"Kai, don't you want her?!" Yuuko asked
"no it's not like that… when she arrives let her rest for a bit I know she will be tired, then you could send her, yeah?" Kai explained. Pein sighed
"you're too thoughtful for your own good"
"yeah?"
"and you should stop hanging out with Deidara you sound like him"
"I do not, un" Kai replied Yuuko was stifling her laughter. Pein scowled
"fine" as Pein went to dispose of the lotion
Once they are all settled down, and I mean settled down when everyone is sitting everywhere like trash in my room in this case Kai was sitting on top of Pein's cabinet and Yuuko on Pein's bed Conan was sitting on a comfy chair and Pein was busy throwing the said lotion in the garbage, Pein started to brief them with the information to make a long and boring speech from Pein short, this mission involves Konoha and a Kyuubi.
"I'm going to take a bath" Pein announced
"okay we'll get ready" Yuuko replied "how about you Conan what are you gonna do?"
"me? Well I guess I'll just wait downstairs"
"okay what are you gonna do Kai?"
"let's wait too" Kai replied with an evil smirk. They went down to the living room to join the others all of the Akatsuki were there at that time (except for the little blue fishy and the still bounty-hunting Kakuzu) and they were doing what they were. A few minutes later (make that 30 mins and a half) a scream was heard
"WHY IS MY HAIR COLOR BLUE!?" Pein screamed. The people in the living room heard running from upstairs and soon enough they saw Pein with only a towel on and a mop of neon blue hair.
"the signal to go!" Kai suddenly yelled standing up from the couch besides Itachi she was now wearing black longsleeves and pants that has ripped knees
"goodbye everyone see you soon" Yuuko stood up too they grabbed their backpacks, she was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and a slightly short pants
"oh by the way here" Kai gave Sasori the bottle "you've been curious, ne?"
"KAAAAIIIIIII! YUUUUUUUKKKKOOOO!" Pein yelled in that bellowing voice he rarely used
They both ran out of the hideout, while Pein (with his new hairdo and only a towel) held on to the doorway for support he was trembling because of anger, watching as the two ran out of sight laughing. Inside, Sasori (he was curious alright) looked at the bottle and read the label
Special extracted hair dye
Won't come off without
The antidote but if your desperate
Enough shave off all of your hair
Ps: this potion slows down hair growth rate
Pps: consider this as a hello and
Goodbye prank
Love: Kai and Yuuko
Pein saw the bottle and read it when he's done reading it (he read it quite quickly) he screamed. Now the people in the room was trying desperately to hold back laughter (even Zetsu and Sasori)
"so that means that you'll have that same hairdo till Kai and Yuuko came back" Tobi said trying not to laugh, Pein slowly faced the rest anger radiating in his body giving out death glares that made everyone shut up
"at least it looks good on you" this made Pein snap
"what's he worked up for?" Kai said but still smirking, they could still hear Pein's screams even when they are a few kilometers away
"hey you sent the fake note, ne?" Yuuko asked but still smiling
"yep just to add the fun" Kai said adjusting the fingerless gloves that covers the mouth on her left hand.
"besides the effect wears off after a few days, ne?"
"who knows he might just shave his hair off"
"but it's true that it slows down the hair growth rate"
"so if he shaves his hair he needs 5 months to grow an inch"
"we're so cruel" the atmosphere changed to a sad and stressed one
"maybe we've done too much harm"
"yeah I think so too" then
"nah!" they both said in unison then they laughed.
End chapter
Kenosu: on to the next
Kishio: parappapan
Kenosu: -sweatdrop-