Mind Jack's Death Battles #1
Danzaburo vs. Saras
Death Battles are owned by Screwattack, and characters are property of their respective owners. I own nothing. These are just the ravings of an insane fanboy.
Hey everyone! MJ here! I've recently been binge watching the Death Battles on the YouTube channel Screwattack. The basic premise is thus- "If BLANK and BLANK got in a fight, who would win?" I thought that the premise was awesome, but there were a lot of fights I figure would never happen on that channel. Some of these will be Fanfiction OC's, others will be actual characters, and others will be a mix of both. It may be awhile in-between these as I have to both do my research and work on my actual stories. If you have an idea for a battle, leave it in the comments. If you want to submit an OC, shoot me a PM with some info, and I'll check out your stories and get back to you if I find another character for them to fight. I reserve the right to refuse ideas and OC's.
I'll do a lot of research for each one, and will provide an explanation why the victor won in the way they did. Well…someone will. Not me. Allow me to introduce your commentators!
Garret
Dialogue symbol-G
Kaidan (Pronounced KY(like Sky)DEN
Dialogue symbol-K
MJ: Well, that's about it for me. Take it away guys!
K: With pleasure Boss! Hello ladies, gentleman, and otherwise, and welcome to MJ's Fan Made Death Battles! He's Garret, and I'm Kaidan.
G: Firstly, let's set the Ground Rules. Firstly, no competitors have ANY prior knowledge of each other. Second, any reservations a competitor has about killing are ignored. All other aspects are present. Third, all competitors are considered to be at their maximum potential. Finally, all canon abilities of the competitors are present and available.
K: C'mon Garret. They don't want to hear all of that boring B.S. Isn't there something more interesting to talk about?
G: Yes indeed! Tonight it's a clash of the Shapeshifters!
K: In one corner, hailing from Japan, Land of the Rising Sun, is Danzaburo! In the other, hailing from the- Wait, I thought that Saras was in Kung Fu Panda Fanfiction. How is he from the Bat Cave?
G: I'll explain that later.
K: You'd damn well better!
G: Moving on, from Berserker88's story Kung Fu Panda: Tournament of Legends on , Danzaburo is a Tanuki, a Japanese trickster creature, similar to a raccoon/dog hybrid.
K: Danzaburo is the last of a species that was unfortunate enough to piss off the Japanese Daimyo, leading said Daimyo to order Tanuki Hunts that pushed the Tanuki to near extinction. Because that makes sense, wiping out an entire species is a perfectly logical reaction to adversity. That Daimyo sounds like my type of guy!
G: Nevertheless, Danzaburo was one of the only known Tanuki to evade the Hunts, and that was quite impressive to the Daimyo, who recruited the remaining Tanuki as Ninja spies.
K: Unfortunately, most of 'em sucked at their jobs, and wound up dead. Danzaburo on the other hand, found his niche. He was so good that no one even knew what species he was, a fact that got him the nickname The Spy of a Thousand Scents. Either that, or he never showers. Both are possible.
G: Danzaburo makes heavy use of his shapeshifting and illusion powers in combat. He mimics anyone he's previously studied. He has thousands of potential forms in his arsenal, and has managed to deal some serious damage to even Kung Fu Masters. He's trained with the katana, as well as classic ninja weapons such as shuriken and kunai. But his main advantage comes from his practically bottomless supply of Tanuki leaves inside his jacket, capable of turning into anything from caltrops, to oil, to bombs capable of blowing up mountains. He also has a fair amount of analytical and manipulative skill.
K: It's so awesome that that's actually a thing that happens. I love this guy!
G: He's pretty good at mimicking appearance and personality, but watching UFC doesn't make you a black-belt. A lot of the time Danzaburo overlooks important weaknesses in the people he mimics, and any techniques he uses are at least slightly weaker than the real thing. He's also rather weak physically, although his vicious determination, born from his Japanese sense of honor, will usually force him to keep getting back up, no matter what. However, even he can't keep fighting indefinitely, and his ability to shapeshift will eventually run out if he becomes too tired.
K: He's also got a lot of emotional baggage. He's not easy to break, but when he does, he breaks HARD. I'm talking Creating-an-Entire-Arena-and-Trying-to-Fight-the-Strongest-Warrior-in-China hard.
G: All in all, though, Danzaburo is a very effective fighter, who is extremely good at planning on-the-fly.
K: Now, what's this I'm hearing about Batman?
G: Saras is a fox who has a connection to both the Jit Kun Crystal, which allows him to shapeshift into six different forms, and to the Blood Diamond, which allows him to go feral at virtually any time.
K: But when does he meet Batman!?
G: Saras was born in a village that was raided by Mongols, and was one of the only survivors. Thanks to this, he has an extreme hatred of all things Mongol.
K: WHEN! DOES! HE! MEET! BATMAN!
G: He doesn't.
K: YOU JUST SAID HE'S FROM THE BAT CAVE!
G: He is.
K: Y'KNOW WHAT!? (EXPLATIVE DELETED) THIS! (EXPLATIVE DELETED) YOU! (Storms off. Door slams in background.)
TEN MINUTES LATER
K: Okay. I just found out that the secret organization that raised Saras is actually called the Bat Cave. I apologize for what I did earlier, let's move on.
G: Good. No more swearing?
K: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, Saras may not be the toughest SOB in the world, but that hasn't stopped him from doing some pretty impressive stuff.
G: He went toe-to-toe with a monster called a Nian, survived both the treacherous Feral Islands and the Five Tasks of the House of Tamod, and managed to hold his own against Lang.
K: To be clear here, Lang isn't actually a wolf. He got his nickname because he eats armies for breakfast. Saras damn near beat him.
G: Saras fights with knives on his hands and feet, which he calls Talon Blades, but he can fight unarmed if need be.
K: He also has a bow, but it barely counts because he can't hit the side of a barn door.
G: All of his forms also have unique strengths and weaknesses, and he uses no energy swapping between them.
K: He also has the power to teleport for some reason. But unlike his shapeshifting, it does tire him out.
G: As a fox, Saras fights with knives in his hands and feet. But all of his forms, including an armadillo, a mouse, a hummingbird, a catfish, a mole, a hedgehog, a platypus, and a dragon, have unique ways of fighting, giving him immediate options on the battlefield.
K: Damn. Sounds like this kid has some mad skills.
G: The fighters are ready, and it's time to find out who the superior shapeshifter is.
K: Can I say Boomstick's line?
G: Sure. Go ahead.
K: Yay! (Deep Breath) IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BAAATLLLLE!
Danzaburo sat high in a tree, observing his mark. He did not know why the Daimyo had deemed the young fox worthy of inspection, but it was not the Tanuki's job to question his orders. The odd fox with what appeared to be knives on his feet was apparently a member of a secret organization. The Daimyo thought that there might be something to be learned from watching him, so he had sent the Spy of a Thousand Scents. But surely a lesser spy could have tailed a mere child? He had done nothing of note in the entire time Danzaburo had watched him.
Saras looked around warily. There was an odd feeling in the air, as if he was being watched. The woods were lush, but not thick enough to normally hide someone. Maybe if he got a bird's eye view…
Danzaburo sat straight up. His target had suddenly vanished.
"What are you doing!?"
Danzaburo was so startled by the voice that he fell right out of the tree, landing on his rear. A small and very angry hummingbird hovered right in front of his face.
Saras shifted back into his fox form, landing in front of the strange creature. The creature's eyes seemed to widen for a moment, but it took only a moment for his face to return to a perfect mask. Still, he seemed taken aback. "What…what are you?" He asked in a thick Japanese accent.
"I could ask you the same thing." Saras shot back. "Why were you watching me?"
As he pushed himself to his feet, Danzaburo struggled to keep his composure, to keep Saras from seeing his shock. "Are you a Tanuki?" He asked, not allowing his voice to betray his surprise.
Saras tilted his head. "A tanu-whatsit?"
Danzaburo closed his eyes. Oh well. Now that he was revealed, he had to kill Saras anyway, so perhaps it was good that he was not another Tanuki. He drew his katana.
Saras jumped back, drawing his knives. "Whoa, buddy! Calm down!"
Danzaburo shook his head. "I am sorry. I cannot leave any witnesses. You must die."
FIGHT!
Saras stabbed at Danzaburo's side, but his knife was easily deflected by the katana. Danzaburo rolled around Saras, so that his back was no longer against the tree. As he came up, he threw a trio of shuriken at Saras, who sidestepped.
Saras stabbed twice with the knives in his hands, then swept two slashes with his talons at Danzaburo's face. The Tanuki jumped back out of reach.
Danzaburo smiled very slightly. He had this fox pegged. He tossed a couple of leaves on the ground. Saras flinched as they exploded into a thick cloud of smoke with a loud *BANG!*
As the smoke consumed him, Saras looked around wildly for where his opponent had vanished to. He then smiled as an idea came to him.
Danzaburo burst from hiding, slashing his katana horizontally. But Saras had disappeared.
*Slam!*
In the form of a mole, Saras burst out of the ground, ramming an uppercut into Danzaburo's stomach. The Tanuki doubled over, and suddenly found himself dragged into the ground up to his waist.
Saras shifted into a platypus, and began smacking Danzaburo back and forth across the face with his blunt, club-like tail. He turned into a mouse, lashing his tail like a whip across Danzaburo's face.
Danzaburo shifted into Master Viper, slipping free of the hole. He contorted the snake body into a whip, striking Saras on the side and sending him reeling. Now free, Danzaburo changed into a much larger form; Tai Lung.
Back in his fox form, Saras was dazed, and got completely blindsided by a roundhouse kick to the side of the face. He transformed into an armadillo, curling up to soften the impact as he hit a tree. He barely managed to dodge out of the way in time as Danzaburo leaped forward with a thrust of his katana. The blade pierced the tree, and became stuck. Danzaburo lunged to bite out Saras' throat, but missed and bit his own tail. He roared with rage and jabbed a glowing blue paw, which sadly missed its mark, only grazing Saras. The nerve attack had to be precise, or it wouldn't work.
Saras stumbled, trying to regain his footing. 'Screw this! I'm out of here!' In a poof of green smoke, he teleported away.
Danzaburo saw the teleportation, but did not flinch. 'At least he is an interesting opponent.' Transforming into a crane, he flew into the air to search from above. 'There he is. On the river.'
Saras pushed the small bamboo raft he'd found out onto the rushing white water. As he climbed aboard, he was instantly struck from the side and knocked into the water.
Danzaburo gave chase, transforming into a tiger fish, perfect for an underwater kill. He scanned around for his prey.
*ZAP!*
Danzaburo screamed as electricity coursed through his body. Saras, in catfish form, had wrapped around Danzaburo. The catfish form was able to electrocute him from that position.
Forced back into his normal form, Danzaburo struggled free from Saras, and swam to the surface.
His eyes widened when he saw the waterfall.
As they went over, both of the combatants took flight-capable forms. Danzaburo chose a hawk, expecting Saras to choose his hummingbird. As he wheeled around to rend a tiny bird, he was surprised to meet a jet of flame.
Saras had transformed into a dragon.
With a swipe of one claw, Saras sent Danzaburo pinwheeling to the ground, to crash in the bushes below.
After his rough landing, Danzaburo crawled out of the bushes. Saras landed beside him, back in his fox form. He kicked Danzaburo in the side, then slugged him in the face.
Danzaburo responded by punching him in a very sensitive place.
Saras crumpled, and Danzaburo stumbled away, trying to create space. He pulled a leaf from his jacket, and it transformed into another katana.
Saras pushed himself to his feet, a low growl evolving into a full, feral snarl. He rushed Danzaburo, swinging with reckless abandon.
Danzaburo was shocked at the sudden ferocity that the fox was showing. His style seemed to have changed in an instant!
Fist after fist slammed past Danzaburo's defenses. He simply couldn't block them all. The final shot was an uppercut to his chin, which sent him flying.
Saras panted, coming out of the Blood Diamond state. He shifted into his dragon form, sending a jet of flame at the prone Tanuki. When the flames ceased, there was only a scorch mark on the ground.
Saras shifted back into a fox. "Jeez. What a weirdo."
No sooner had he finished his sentence, something small and extremely sharp nicked his ear, continuing on to thud into a tree.
Saras reached up to touch the V-shaped notch in his ear, simultaneously looking to the kunai knife buried in the tree.
Danzaburo stood among the trees, bruised, but alive and very, very angry. "I. Am going. TO KILL YOU!"
The spy unleashed a wave of fog. The forest was replaced with a massive, Roman-style gladiator arena. "A Roman arena?" Saras said confusedly. "With your accent, I thought you were Japanese."
Danzaburo narrowed his eyes into a fierce glare. They both fell into stance. A roaring crowd of Tanuki formed around them. "Danza-Sama! Danza-Sama!" They chanted.
Danzaburo summoned up several dozen clones. Saras shifted into his dragon form.
The clones dispersed. Unable to tell which was the real Tanuki, Saras shot a sweeping wave of fire at them. He was too slow, however, and the clones surrounded him in a wide circle. Saras roared as shuriken and kunai struck him from all directions.
Then, Saras had an idea. He smiled devilishly, which was quite terrifying on the face of a dragon.
He shifted into his hummingbird form, and began darting through the illusory copies. One by one, they vanished until there was only one left.
Danzaburo staggered at the impact of the tiny bird. The arena vanished. To buy a moment, he tossed two leaves. One exploded into tar, gumming up Saras' wings. The second hit the ground, transforming into a mound of caltrops. The end result was that Saras turned back into a fox, and shrieked as his behind landed in the caltrops.
Danzaburo knew he had only enough energy left for one good transformation. He had to make it count.
Saras growled as he shifted back into the dragon. Danzaburo's shape was obscured by fog as he chose his form.
When it cleared, he was a large panda in brown pants: Master Po, the Dragon Warrior.
Danzaburo clamped his hands around Saras' jaws, stopping him from breathing fire. He tossed the dragon over his shoulder, flipping along with him. "Feet of Fury!"
Saras' head snapped back and forth as the kicks connected. Danzaburo spun around, landing a final, double-footed kick to the dragon's torso. Saras skidded across the ground, coming to a stop in his fox form. Danzaburo walked up to him, still in Po's form. Saras took a weak swing, and Danzaburo caught one of his fingers in one hand, lifting his pinkie.
Saras' eyes widened in fear. "Th-the Wuxi Finger Hold!"
Danzaburo nodded. "Yes."
"Um…mercy?"
Danzaburo pretended to ponder this. "No."
He flexed his pinkie.
*FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
The golden explosion expanded in all directions, stripping the leaves from the trees.
In the smoking crater, Danzaburo stood up. His Po form had been blown away by the force of the explosion, and he had lost his hat. He looked around, and saw it floating down out of the air. He caught it, placing it casually back on his head. "Skadoosh." He proclaimed with no emotion whatsoever.
K.O.!
K: Awwww! Not the little fox dude!
G: This was a surprisingly even fight. Saras was much more skilled with his individual forms than Danzaburo, and had a slight durability advantage, but Danzaburo had a wider variety of forms, and better training. Since these Death Battles don't allow prior knowledge, Danzaburo was at a disadvantage early on, as he couldn't form an accurate strategy with Saras constantly switching forms.
K: But Saras could only keep going for so long before he ran out of tricks. Once Danzaburo formed a strategy, Saras' best shot was the Blood Diamond, but even that only lasted so long.
G: Once Saras ran out of things to make him unpredictable, it was only a matter of time before Danzaburo came up with a plan that could handle all of Saras' forms. He managed to get in a couple of openings when Danzaburo made mistakes, but they weren't good enough to put Danzaburo down for good.
K: Saras shifted into high gear, but it just wasn't enough.
G: The winner is Danzaburo.
Danzaburo is from Kung Fu Panda: Tournament of Legends, by Berserker88.
Saras is from The Five Tasks of the House of Tamod, and other stories by Grey Coincidence.