A/N: I do not own Grey's anatomy or any of the characters mentioned in this story
Derek Shepard stood in the hallway of the hospital the same hospital he had worked in for the past year and a half the same hallway he walked down every day and even though all the lights were off the place in which he stood had never seemed so bright.
He slid down the wall of the nurses desk pulled his knees to his chest and just sat there thinking. The words Meredith had said ran over and over in his mind as he analyzed every sentence she had said.
"I don't want you to Date other people"
What the hell was he thinking when he kissed rose he knew as soon as he had done it that her kiss was nothing compared to Meredith's he felt disgusting after that kiss and he knew that meant that Meredith's kiss was the only one he wanted to experience for the rest of his life.
The next line stuck in his head it made him sick to his stomach.
"I may not be enough for you but I'm trying here"
Did she really think that she want enough for him did she really not know the only reason he got up in the morning was to see her face and he knew how hard she was trying and he didn't know why he was being so difficult he knew it had something to do with how much he needed her he hated the thought that he would miss her after a couple of hours or he would feel sick when he hasn't seen her in a few days the truth was he hated how much he needed her.
The line she said next was mind blowing she was saying everything that he had always wanted to say.
"That's it …… Except I'm scared as hell to want you but here I am wanting you anyway"
He wanted to comfort her to take away her fears to make her feel completely comfortable in the way she felt those 27 words she had said made him feel happy and guilty at the same time happy that he still had a chance that he had not completely blown it and guilty that he had put her through that in the first place.
This next line just confused him
"Fear means I have something to lose right and I don't want to lose you"
Did she think he was going somewhere there was no way that he was going to lose her again at least not without putting up a fight.
The thing that had confused him the most is why she would not let him say anything all she had said was
"Don't say anything I'm gonna leave and you can say something tomorrow that's progress right…."
He was really feeling the pressure he knew she expected him to say what he thought about them how he really felt.
But he knew there was no way he was going to be able to fit how he felt about her into a 5 minute speech he knew when he started about how he felt about her he could go on for hours.
Derek got up off the floor got his stuff from his office and started to head home not for one second his mind leaving the thoughts of Meredith's speech and the fear of what he was going to say tomorrow.
Plz comment but please don't be too harsh it's my first fanfic