Survival of the Parents

A/N: ^_^ Review! This is to make up for being so late on Akusho and such.

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"Just a bite?"

"No."

"Perhaps a crumb?"

"No."

"Not even a piece of the toast?"

"I said 'no'."

"Come on."

"Are you always this bothersome?"

"It's out of love."

"Is that so?"

"You know it."

"Idiot."

"I know you love me."

"Stop."

"Why? You need to eat. You're so scrawny."

"I am not scrawny, Tsuzuki."

"Skinny, then!"

"Are you trying to humor me?"

"I want you to eat."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"That is a pathetic answer."

"Hisoka, you're going to DIE and I'm going to feel so guilty!"

"So this is about YOU and your shame?"

"What? No! That's not what I meant, Hisoka!"

"It sure sounded that way."

"Eat."

"You're not my father."

"You're right. I'm cuter looking."

"Says the Earl."

"Hey! I AM cuter!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"No. You're much cuter."

"Don't act cheeky with me."

"Never."

"I mean it."

"So do I. Now, take a bite."

"Tsuzuki! Get that away from me! I'm not hungry!"

"For me?"

"What did you say?"

"Take a bite for me…why?"

"Oh…"

"What did you think I said?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Are you-oh!"

"Tsuzuki…"

"Hahaha! 'Are you hungry for me Hisoka? Do you lust for me?'"

"Stop that!"

"I love it when you blush."

"STOP THAT, TSUZUKI!"

"Oh say my name louder, Hisoka!"

"STUPID IDIOT!"

Tsuzuki leaned back on his chair letting out his laughter as his young partner glared bloody murder at him from across the marble wood table they sat at on his pleasant morning.

His partner's blush bloomed into a deep cherry color as he stood up and slammed his hands against the table. "STOP LAUGHING!"

Tsuzuki could not resist the vulnerable position and leaned over, took a good hold of Hisoka's arm in each hand and dragged the boy over the table and onto his lap.

"Now see? I have to treat you like a baby because you're acting like one!" exclaimed Tsuzuki smiling widely.

Hisoka struggled against the grip. "TSUZUKI! STOP! AND DON'T CALL ME A 'BABY'!!"

"I said you're ACTING like one."

"But you're implying I am a child."

"Baby."

"Same thing."

"No," said Tsuzuki waving a finger in disagreement. "A child can feed himself and KNOWS he has to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Doesn't matter, open your mouth."

Hisoka pinched his lips shut and glared at his older partner. He was a bit use to Tsuzuki's more than friendly touches. Ever since Tsuzuki admitted he felt something more for the boy than friendship, Hisoka allowed Tsuzuki to touch him a bit more than usual. A gentle caress on the cheek or an embrace. Of course, those moments were always short lived.

Again, Tsuzuki begged Hisoka to open his mouth. "Please?"

Hisoka averted his eyes and studied the curtains. He was able to see a partial part of a large tree that stood beside the window; they were five stories high up. He saw a bird's nest made neatly of twigs and it's possession of three lonely eggs.

Barely noticing until it was too late, he felt a fork full of eggs and rice shoved into his mouth. He choked for a bit and focused his attention on spitting the food out.

Tsuzuki's hand clamped over his mouth. "Nah ah ah…Remember we agreed?"

Hisoka expression read 'agreed to what?!'.

Tsuzuki, knowing the question answered, "If I ever managed to get food into your mouth, you'd swallow. Yes, you did say that. Now swallow before I have to spank you." He winked and made Hisoka's face return to its scarlet color.

The rice was rather warm and pleasing but the eggs tasted a bit burnt. He chewed a bit and worked his tongue to swallow the food.

"That was low," he insisted after getting the food down.

"No, this is." Tsuzuki proved his point by poking Hisoka's stomach.

Hisoka gasped and leapt out of Tsuzuki's lap. "What was that for?!"

Tsuzuki smiled sweetly. "I'm really happy you agreed letting me come over last night."

"Idiot. Tatsumi-san would lecture me if I let you walked home in that bitter weather all alone and then get ill. You'd be sick by tomorrow, and we work tomorrow."

"…You weren't really going to let me freeze?"

Hisoka met Tsuzuki's eyes for an instant. "…Ah."

Tsuzuki stood up and approached Hisoka, who instantly took a step back. He took the boy's face into his hand, preventing Hisoka from backing up further.

Hisoka blinked trying to ignore Tsuzuki's warm breath brushing against his lips.

Tsuzuki leaned forward and whispered almost seductively but more teasingly into Hisoka's left ear, "You can say you love me now."

"AH! YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE ASATO!"

Tsuzuki laughed as Hisoka strolled pass him and picked up the plates.

"I'll do them, Hisoka" he offered following the boy into the kitchen with the excess plates.

Hisoka scowled. "Just leave them in the sink for now."

"Okay." Tsuzuki placed the silverware inside the sink and washed his hands beside Hisoka.

Tsuzuki turned off the sink and wiped his hands on a blue towel with white strips drawn across it. Rather plain, but neat. He offered the towel to Hisoka.

Hisoka looked at the towel and placed his hands before Tsuzuki's face. "No thanks," he said before clenching his hands and releasing again with enough force to splash Tsuzuki in the face with the cold water that remained on his hands.

"AH! HEY!"

"You deserved it," Hisoka declared sitting on the sofa after wiping off his hands on the rag.

"You want to do something today?" asked Tsuzuki sitting beside Hisoka with a 'plop'.

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because all you ever want to do is eat."

"Not true."

"Oh? What else do you do besides consume large amounts of food?"

Tsuzuki quickly leaned to his side and stole a kiss on Hisoka's cheek. "That."

Hisoka's turned his head a bit to hide the blush immediately.

"I know you're blushing. I'm flattered."

" I am NOT blushing!"

"You are too!"

"I am NOT! Leave me alone!"

"I never will."

"You had breakfast. You can leave now."

"I don't want to."

"It's MY temporary home."

"I'll be lonely."

"Good."

"You don't have to hide from me, Hisoka."

"The only thing I'm hiding is-"

"I know what it is."

"Oh? Enlighten me."

"I will."

"Okay."

"You're hiding…"

"………………..While the humans are young, Tsuzuki"

"…An erection."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

"What is with you today!? I AM NOT!"

"Prove it."

"Pr-p-PROVE it?! NO!"

"I knew it."

"I AM NOT HIDING THAT!"

"I can't believe you unless you let me see for my self. Or feel it. Either way."

"YOU'RE MAD!"

"Madly in love."

"Tsuzuki…" warned Hisoka, scooting away.

Tsuzuki frowned a bit. "I'm sorry, Hisoka. I didn't mean to offend you. Really."

Hisoka looked away.

Tsuzuki wrapped one arm around Hisoka's shoulder. "I'm really sorry. I was only enjoying my time with you. Forgive me?"

"You're not allowed to have wine at my place ever again," threatened Hisoka shuffling away from his partner.

Tsuzuki smiled. "If you don't want to go anywhere, let's…clean the house!"

"You would make a wonderful housewife, you know," Hisoka proclaimed making some tea.

"Housewife? Are you implying that you want to marry me?"

"No."

"Seriously…a HOUSEWIFE?"

Hisoka nodded. "Or a mother. You know, have a couple of kids. Feed them and change their diapers."

Tsuzuki chuckled. Their conversation was then interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," announced Tsuzuki pushing himself of the sofa and to the door. He unlocked the door and opened it. "Hell…o?"

Tsuzuki blinked and saw no one. He looked around the hallways but saw no trace of any person. He then felt a slight press against his leg. He looked down and saw two children.

"What the…"

One was about 5 or so, female. The other lied in a small basket, a male around 1 or so.

They both looked up at him with large golden eyes with interested. Both had thick black hair; the girl wore her hair in pigtails while the boy had a cute messy style on his head.

The little girl in her blue sunflower dress and matching shoes smiled widely. "Hi. I'm Mika. This is my brother Nujitsu."

Tsuzuki smiles at the little girl. "Um…Hi there. What are you doing here though all alone?"

"My cousin told me to take my brother, who's kind of weird, to come to room number 22 where I would fine a 'Soka person here," she explained cheerfully. "She said he and her or his, I can't remember, boyfriend will watch me. Are you that boyfriend? I like dogs. Cats are cute too. Dogs can be stupid and run into things. You're not like a dog are you? Do you like Barney? I do. I'm really hungry. Why aren't you answering me? Are you deaf? Hello? I'm Mika."

Tsuzuki sweatdropped unsure of what to make of the situation. Such… desultory language.

"Tsuzuki? Who's at the door?" asked Hisoka from inside.

"Uh…H..Hisoka. Come here a minute."

Hisoka groaned and came beside Tsuzuki. "What is…..you know them?"

"Are you Soka person, mister lady?" the little girl asked trying to look up Hisoka's shirt. You don't look like a boy…."

Hisoka gave a cry and pulled his shirt down. "What are they doing here?!"

"Hey girl, who's your cousin?" Tsuzuki asked, ignoring Hisoka's comment and struggles to keep his shirt down. Personally, he didn't mind if the little girl shoved the shirt up.

"Wakaba-chan. She says you would take care of us. Or was she lying? Are you throwing us out? Are you going to let us get kida…kid…uh…kidtaken and sold for nickels and dimes? Let us starve to death and die!" she cried out giving a dramatic sob.

"No! Don't cry…Uh…Su…Sure. If it's for Wakaba. We won't mind watching you. Come in," insisted Tsuzuki leading the little girl in. The girl was already frightening Tsuzuki.

Hisoka grumbled. "This is MY home…and I never knew about Wakaba having cousins? Are they dead?" he asked lifting the little boy into his arms with amazing care.

The little girl smiled and entered cheerfully clinging to Tsuzuki's hand the entire time. "I like you. You look like my daddy."

"Uh…thanks…I think," Tsuzuki said looking over at Hisoka with a smile. "Come on Hisoka. It's just for a day or two. You know Wakaba."

"…Mother," Hisoka teased. "And we have work tomorrow."

"You'd fit the father role then?" Tsuzuki asked grinning, ignoring the other comment about work.

Hisoka rolled his eyes and shut the door and locked it. "What are their names?"

"Mika and Nujitsu."

"Wonderful."

Tsuzuki smiles even wider. "It'll be like having our own kids!"

"16 and already with two children. What is the world coming to?" asked Hisoka sarcastically.

Tsuzuki just admired the view of Hisoka carrying the child so gently. The poignant little moment was broken when a strange sound radiated throughout the room.

The little boy in Hisoka's arms giggled. "Poo," he giggled.

A rather nasty scent also followed the statement.

Hisoka's eye twitched as the stench grew worse. "Oh god…"

Tsuzuki blinked in confusion when Hisoka stuffed the baby into his free arm (Mika was still holding onto his right hand). "What…?"

"Like I said, a good mother knows how to change a diaper."

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A/N: ^_^ Things will become much more interesting.