It only took two minutes for the cops to respond. They were getting faster. But so was he. With each heist he was growing. Learning. Each time he said it would be the last time. That he'd only get what he needed. But each time he returned home, he found more people that 'needed' him.
When his sister first became ill, there was no question about it. Dipper Pines was willing to do anything to save Mabel. Even if it meant turning to a life of crime. But people would wonder how some street rat managed to pay for an expensive operation such as this. Luckily, the Northwests were willing to lend a hand… not enough to actually pay for the operation, but at the very least to claim they did and continue to look like a charitable family. All they asked was for him to break into a private art collection and destroy an incriminating historical document for them. Simple enough, but Dipper had promised himself that it would be the last time.
Dipper had been breaking a lot of promises recently.
He promised his Grunkle Stan that he'd stay out of trouble.
But Grunkle Stan also promised the Russian Mafia a certain rare gem years ago which Dipper needed to obtain in his place if he wanted to stop seeing that red dot hover over his Grunkle's head at breakfast.
He promised his best friend Soos that they'd both have a normal weekend out.
Soos never even realized Dipper's walk in the woods resulted in Dipper having to steal a magical heart stone important to a tribe of pixies who were going to die if the archaeologist that discovered the stone decided to keep it in the museum for a day longer.
He promised Mabel he'd never do this again.
But he always found another reason to return.
He just wasn't sure if he had begun to need this as much as others needed him to go out there and go on some kind of crazy cat burglar scheme. He hardly protested as much as he once did. Was it that he was living off of some kind of adrenaline rush? Did he enjoy being some kind of Robin hood-like hero? Did he just have a serious problem that he needed to go to therapy for?
As Dipper found himself cornered in an old run down mall, wearing a black leather cat suit, clutching the creepiest porcelain doll he'd ever seen, he was fairly certain there wasn't a psychiatrist alive that could help him.
The shrill whine of the police sirens pierced his ears as Dipper tried to find a reasonable place to hide out. They couldn't have known he was still on foot. They'd seen 'him' drive off in a getaway car heading on the opposite side of town- a trick he'd learned from his Grunkle Stan. It was amazing how little payment or explanation it took for someone to keep driving even when they were getting chased by cops. Soon they'd gone, and Dipper could sneak away into something more casual.
Dipper stayed still, curled up under an old stairwell. He closed his eyes and covered his ears to block out the sounds. Like a child hiding under the covers convinced that the monsters couldn't see him just because he'd blocked himself off. It was stupid to fall into that illusory sense of safety, but right now he needed to focus on getting his heart rate down.
The illusion was broken by a sharp click and the cold feeling of metal around Dipper's wrist.
"Here, kitty kitty." A voice taunted as they shined a light in Dipper's face. Dipper could barely make out the face of his captor with the flashlight blinding him. His gaze almost looked yellow from how the light reflected off the man's shades.
Dipper froze. No… not here… out of all the scenarios where he got caught, did he really have to go down in one so stupid? He imagined maybe driving off a bridge in an epic car chase, or cornered in a building only to come out guns blazing. Something cooler than being stuck in a stupid cat suit getting caught over stealing some doll!
"Well aren't you the cutest little cat burglar! What's your name? I'm sure your owner is worried sick about you." The man taunted as he directed the light away from Dipper's eyes. Bill set the flashlight down on one of the steps so they could have a bit of light without having to hold it. He was dressed like a cop, but he certainly didn't look like one. More like some insane comic book supervillain that had decided to dress up like a police officer to taunt the heroes. He was even wearing shades indoors at night like he thought he was on some kind of cop show. Probably thought he was some kind of big shot. All Dipper could think was that he just enjoyed screwing with people.
The blond haired cop gave an eerie chuckle as he removed his glasses. "Awe, not in a friendly mood? Why don't I start? The name's Bill Cipher- now it's your turn. Speak! Or is that command not in your bag of tricks?"
Looking at him dead in the eyes was worse without his glasses. His right eye was scratched out by countless jagged scars. Did some wild animal decide it had a vendetta against the look in his one eye, or had something else lead to his violent loss of depth perception? Quickly, Dipper looked away trying to not let the man unnerve him. 'Don't say anything incriminating.' No matter what evidence was found on him, there was no reason to dig himself deeper into the ground.
Bill yanked the young man up on his feet by the handcuff chain, putting his hand under his chin forcing Dipper to look him in the eye. That mix of cruelty and joy in the single wide open eye made half of Dipper want to run for his life. Yet the other half was trying to solve a mystery. Who was this man?
"I didn't say you had the right to remain silent."
Dipper had no idea what was this man's game or if he was even a real officer. Only one of the cuffs was on his right hand, the other loosely held by his captor. Bill may look like he had longer legs than him, but Dipper had spent plenty of his life running. If he could just get a good head start, and if this creep was here alone, he might still have a chance to get away.
Quickly, Dipper shoved Bill back, yanking the handcuff from his grasp. Bill stumbled back a few feet as Dipper made a run for it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Anything to get himself away from this maniac.
Bill only let out a laugh. He'd expected this kind of pathetic attempt. "Awe, too hard of a question for you then? Let me give you a hint- A Pine Tree right in the middle of Ursa Major!"
Dipper froze in his tracks. Not only had he seen his face, but he knew his name too? Did he know where he lived? Had he followed him? How much did this 'Bill' know about him? If that was even his real name.
"What… what do you know?" Dipper asked with his voice cracking like he was still going through puberty. He wished he still was right now. At least if he was still a minor, he wouldn't face as harsh of a jail sentence.
"Oh… I know lots of things…" Bill's voice echoed throughout the old abandoned halls. Even if it weren't for the acoustics of the place, his voice was clearly too loud to be indoors. His voice boomed through the air, demanding an audience wherever it traveled.
Bill calmly walked up behind his prey, his finger brushing against the fake polyester cat ears on the young man's head. "Although the cat suit is a surprise. What's that all about anyways?"
Dipper wanted to run again, but if Bill knew his name, then he was caught more than by the silver cuff dangling limply from his wrist. But this all seemed so wrong… wasn't there supposed to be some kind of procedure? Being read his rights? What was he doing? Maybe if he could figure out his game, he could manage a way out of this.
"Something about discouraging my bad habits." Dipper grumbled. It was his sister's idea. That if he was going to go out to continue his criminal activities, he needed to feel more embarrassed about doing it. And if someone did catch a look at him, they'd be more distracted by 'why the heck is this kid dressed up like a cat' than to notice any specific features about his appearance. Or at the very least buy him a few seconds of confusion to make a run for it. Although it only seemed to amuse Bill more.
"Awe, someone's a naughty little kitty!" Bill teased as he poked Dipper with a newly extended police baton. "And what's this new toy of yours you're chewing on?" Bill asked quickly snatching the doll from Dipper's hand.
"That doesn't belong to you!" Dipper shouted immediately trying to reach and grab the fragile doll that he was probably going to end up getting caught stupidly over.
Bill dangled the doll high up in the air, out of Dipper's reach. "Doesn't belong to you either, Pine Tree!" Bill cackled as he enjoyed playing keep away. "Better tell me what you were doing robbing some wrinkly old Victorian doll collector before I let my hand slip."
Dipper attempted to jump up and grab the doll back, but Bill was just too tall for him. "I was just going to sell it! Come on, don't break it! Aren't you supposed to at least try and return it!?" Dipper yelled.
Bill only laughed. "Awe, but the only thing more fun than watching the faces of all those stuck up idiots when they find out 'the criminal' destroyed their mark is a good story! So spill, Pine Tree! No money missing, no one hurt, not even the most valuable piece of the collection stolen. What got you out of bed tonight?"
Dipper's fingers weaved through his bangs frustrated. "…You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Oh, I don't know about that. Seen plenty of weird stuff! I'd be surprised if you really could tell me something that broke the top 10!" Bill chuckled as he dangled the doll by the ankle, much to Dipper's frustration.
Dipper groaned, wishing he'd be more careful with the thing he went through so much trouble to get. "I'm just trying to put a little girl to rest." Dipper whispered as he rubbed his fingers against his temple.
"Oh really?" Bill questioned as he rested the doll on the tip of his baton to use as a makeshift stick puppet. "And you couldn't think of any easier ways to go about it? Buy her some cheap plastic Barbie or maybe a bedtime story?"
Dipper reached out to take the doll back, but once again Bill pulled it away. Dipper sighed as he continued. "She wanted this doll. It was hers." Dipper insisted glancing aside, not wanting to go into detail. Bill already knew he was a crook. No reason to let him think he was crazy as well.
Bill chuckled at the vague details. But he started to get an idea of what was going on. "Gee, either that little girl of yours and the old man that called us in are going to have a nice long argument about ownership, or I'm guessing that girl is a lot older than you're letting on. You working out some kind of séance, Pine Tree?" Bill deduced.
Dipper flinched back, surprised that he was not only believed, but that Bill guessed the scenario. "So… you believe me?" He wondered. Even those that had seen the supernatural usually went into denial.
"You'd have to be blind not to see it." Bill chuckled as he played with the doll's hands to cover its own eyes. "Let's just say, I've had a run in or two with demons of my own."
Dipper's gaze drifted back toward the scars over Bill's right eye. Like something had tried to tear it out. What exactly was his story?
"…So does that mean you'll give it back then?" Dipper asked skeptically. The 'cop' had many chances to put him under arrest by now. Would he be lucky enough to get away with his freedom tonight?
"Not so fast, Pine Tree!" Bill exclaimed as he rested the doll atop his black police hat. "I've been keeping my eye on you- All kinds of little odd jobs you've got under your belt. A stolen rare artifact here, a destroyed painting there- enough damage to keep you away for a couple of years, and prevent you from ever getting a decent job for the rest of your life. Your freedom is going to cost a bit more than the cute little story you've told."
Dipper's fist clenched as he started to get an idea of what Bill was getting at. "So you're blackmailing me?"
Bill's eye rolled at how easy it was to rile the young man up. "That's a strong word…. I like to think of it of it as a trade. This little doll for a new plaything."
Dipper looked down at his feet. It wasn't the first time he'd been manipulated. 'I know what you did. If you want to get away with it, you'll do it again.' It was how his first one-time deal turned into a string of crimes.
"What would you have me do?" Dipper asked bitterly, knowing that Bill had him backed in a corner. It was either agree to his terms, or jail. And if any of his Grunkle's stories were true, he knew he wouldn't last long in there. Not to mention the debt he'd leave his family in. Mabel's medical bills alone would bring them into ruin. They needed his support, no matter how much they disliked where it came from.
"Awe, don't look so glum, Pine Tree! I'm not asking you to shoot a man or anything! Although I can think of a senator or two that could use a bullet to the head." Bill remarked with a shrug. It was hard to tell whether or not the one-eyed officer was joking.
"I just want you to keep doing what you're doing! Help out all the little ghost girls and forest gremlins you like! I just have a few extra… requests." Bill remarked with a shark-like grin that sent a shiver down Dipper's spine.
Bill held out a gloved hand. Despite the white color, Dipper could see the stains. It was hard to tell what they were in this low light. Grime? Scorch marks? Blood? To say the man's hands were dirty must have been an understatement.
"Do we have a deal?" Bill asked.
Dipper had two options. He could accept his fate, go to jail, do his time and take whatever consequences came with it. But after those years passed, even if his crimes would still linger in his past, at least he could be done with it for good. And yet the other option…
Somehow he knew that if he took the hand in front of him, there would be no more "one last job". There wouldn't be a getting caught or jail sentence that would last a few years. He wouldn't just suffer a worse fate, but he'd be physically unable to turn back. He already had trouble resisting a job. And judging by the wild look in Bill's eye, it would only get more intense. Bill wasn't offering him his freedom for this night- just a different set of chains. But part of him had to admit- swinging around them could get interesting.
Dipper reached out his hand toward Bill's. The dirty cop's grin grew wider as he waited for his pawn to cross the board. His hand hovered still waiting, only for Dipper to reach out and grab the doll off of Bill's head. Bill didn't bother to stop him, but wondered what Dipper planned to do.
"You don't want a deal- you want a dog." Dipper said bluntly. He tucked the doll under his arm and turned away.
"You're just going to go to jail then? How boring." Bill questioned crossing his arms. He tapped the extendable baton against the back of his head.
"Call your buddies on me if you like. If I've got to run, then that's what I'll do. But if I go down-" Dipper then took a small thin black object out of his pocket "-I'm thankful to have a sibling that wanted to record every embarrassing second of it to ensure I have company."
Bill's mouth dropped. Was that… a recording device? Did this kid really think he could get one up on him by turning the blackmail back on him? It might not be too difficult to get rid of the evidence. But if that was a phone, it might be set to upload the data automatically. Either way, he had to admit it was a fun little card for his target to play!
Dipper didn't look back as he continued to walk away. "If you want to play another round of cat and mouse, I'm guessing you know where to find me, Cipher. But I have a little girl I need to get to that deserves some peace. You might know lots of things, but I've found myself lots of friends. And I don't think any of them are ready to let me go down without a fight."
Bill's hand remained fixed in the air. He was so certain he knew how that was going to play out. Yet it turned out much more interesting than he hoped for. He brought his hands together for a slow clap as he watched his little cat burglar walk away.
"Cops and robbers, huh? Fun little game, Pine Tree! Can't wait for round 2!"
Authors Notes: For BillDip Week May 2016, Day 6. I've never written BillDip before, but I saw the prompt of Cops and Robbers and the idea of Dipper being the thief seemed interesting to me. This was just intended to be a one-shot, but depending on the response I might write more. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!