I really liked writing this. I'm thinking I might expand it into a series. Would anybody be interested in reading something like that? Regardless, thanks for reading this. I own nothing. It's sad. Oh well, please enjoy!
There are things you don't do around Beast Boy.
The list of 'Do Not's is very short. Simply because Beast Boy is a very patient person, it means it normally takes a lot of effort to really upset him. However, there are some things that you just don't do in front of him. The reason is that everyone has their breaking point, the red button that you do not press under any circumstances. Once that point is reached or that button is pressed, there is no going back. Something is going to explode and hell will have to be paid.
That's why you never call Cyborg a machine in front of Beast Boy. He knows what machines are. They are cold. Machines are cold metal pieces spinning and pushing and grinding together, somehow managing to give a response. That outcome is set. You put something in the microwave, it will get hot. Stick anything other than a game in the Game Station; you better believe that your Game Station won't work for very much longer. Doomsday devices create doom, chaos, and destruction, not daises.
Beast Boy knows machines don't feel. You can hit a computer with a sledgehammer or a misaimed Stankball, and it won't flinch in surprise. Machines don't scream like little girls if you sneak up on them after a Wicked Scary marathon, or deny that it ever happened later. They don't get angry when they can't get make a complex program work. Machines never laugh in relief and success after long hours spent completing the most mind-blowing and ridiculously difficult games ever know to mankind. Beast Boy has never seen a machine cry.
But he's seen Cyborg cry. He's watched him laugh and smile. Beasty Boy has heard him cry out in pain and frustration in battles. Cyborg will sing off key and yell. Beast Boy has woken up in the hospital wing to Cyborg's rants about how dumb the shapeshifter was. They both know he's not really angry, that he's just trying to keep from showing how scared he was. Beast Boy can't count the hours they have spent, simply talking. Often late into the night, Cyborg gives him all the advice he has in exchange for tales of old adventures. Cyborg plays computer games and almost always wins. He tells stories, makes mistakes, and is always there to watch Beast Boy's back. His best friend does more than a machine ever could. The reason is because Cyborg isn't a machine.
So if you ever make the mistake of calling his best and first friend a machine, Beast Boy will take swift measures to correct you. He doesn't like to be violent unless he has to, but there are things he will not allow to go unchallenged. The next thing you know, you'll be knocked on your butt and watching the smallest Titan walk away. And you know you won't ever be making that mistake again.
Because there are things you never do in front of a Titan, and insulting a friend is one of them.