Loonatics Unleashed:
"Goodnight, Baby. Good Morning, Hot Stuff."
(This story is post "The World is My Circus.")
Rated T for Fluffiness.
Disclaimer: Loonatics Unleashed and related Characters and Elements are trademarks of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.
The doors leading into the rest of the base slid closed behind them as Rev dragged Tech into the kitchen area. Rev considered locking it.
" . . . no, Dr. Zane used a type of DNA methylation to turn off and on DNA sequences in the Fuz-Zs triggered by the theobromine alkaloids in chocolate." Tech continued his conversation started in the lab. "Which, as you know also has physiological effects on the body. And while it has health benefits for people, it has toxic properties to certain animals like cats and dogs. Unfortunately, in Fuz-Zs it triggered their mutations."
"Please, we're trying to eat here!" Danger Duck complained from his seat at the breakfast table. It was hard enough to choke down his dried out, slightly burned toast without techno-babble threatening him with indigestion. The rest of the teams' eyes glazed over as well, not comprehending the conversation. He and Lexi had the toasted raisin bread, though Lexi had insisted on toasting her own. Ace had the waffles with maple syrup. While Slam had the bananas, the orange slices, the biscuits and gravy, the muesli, the pancakes with current jelly, and the scrambled eggs with rye toast.
"And-so-should-you,-Tech. Just-because-you-CAN-go-extended-periods-of-time-without-food-or-sleep,-doesn't-mean-you-SHOULD! . . .-and-I-don't-care-if-you-have-molecular-regeneration-or-not,-it-is-no-substitute-for-the-real-thing." Rev put as much force in his words as he could muster, but though he and the coyote had become good friends, best friends even, since the team formed, he felt more like the kid brother trying to straighten out his older sibling. Awkwardly, he nudged Tech toward the table. "Eat! Lack-of-food-makes-you-cranky-and-you-certainly-have-had-a-lack-of-that;-when-was-the-last-time-you-ate-an-actual-meal-anyway?"
Tech took a step toward the table, but stopped suddenly as an idea struck. Turning abruptly the genius rushed back to the lab. Or would have had Rev not tackled him down. The two tumbled a couple of times with the momentum. "Oh-no-you-don't! You-get-way-too-irascible,-stubborn,-unreasonable,-obstinate,-contrary,-and-all-together-bullheaded;-even-more-than-you-usually-are,-when-you-skip-too-many-meals."
Tech glared at Rev who grinned sheepishly and let him up with an apologetic sort of shrug. Tech grumped a bit as he climbed to his feet, but the wide, innocent roadrunner eyes had done their work and he couldn't be too angry. "I am not bullheaded, coyote-headed maybe . . .."
Tech snagged a bite of Lexi's breakfast, not bothering to dial up his own.
"Oh come on! How hard is it to turn the select knob!" Lexi stated as the coyote snatched a bit of toast from Danger as well.
Tech pulled a face, muttering. "Looks like I need to fix the toaster again. What do you keep doing to it, Duck?"
"Ew! Coyote cooties!" Danger looked in disgust at the slice of raisin toast that Tech handed back to him.
"Actually not," Tech replied. "My molecular regeneration ensures a healthy immune system that not only quickly eliminates most germs that I might pick up from you guys, but generally also prevents me from having any type of illness to spread to others."
"Huh, makes sense." Ace brought up his guardian sword, extending the blade as Tech approached. Their eyes briefly met and Tech moved on. The scientist didn't even want breakfast, let alone fight his leader for it. Ace retracted the blade and turned back to his waffles, thinking.
"Kkrrnkkrrn, Tech." Slam offered part of his breakfast to Tech, taking it out of his mouth to do so.
"Uh, no thanks, Slam." Tech eyed the banana dripping with saliva. "I prefer to digest my own." Slam shrugged and popped it back into his mouth.
Rev smirked, his eyes laughing at his friends. He handed Tech one of his specially made super booster pick-me-up shakes that he had made while the coyote was snitching food from the others. Tech took a swallow then handed it back to the roadrunner, but Rev pushed it back. The speedster stubbornly crossed his arms across his chest. "Nope,-you-drink-the-whole-thing-and-you're-not-getting-out-of-it."
"Come off it, Rev. I really need to finish this project while it is still fresh in my mind." Tech rubbed his temple, not quite up to dealing with the roadster's enthused determination. The gesture did not go unnoticed by his insistent friend.
"It's-not-me,-Tech. Your-body-needs-proper-sleep-and-nutrition,-and-its-your-own-fault-that-you're-feeling-a-bit-run-down. You-can't-keep-expending-energy-without-replenishing-it." Rev rapped his friend sharply on the forehead with his finger. "Do-the-math,-genius!"
Tech sighed and sat at the table. The coyote scientist took out his palmtop to continue working while he drank his breakfast, but Rev snatched it away. Growing faintly, Tech grabbed the small computer back from the roadrunner. The quickster stood dejected, clasping his empty hands in front of him. Tech couldn't stand the roadrunner's wide, green eyes staring morosely at him and he soon relented, setting aside his computer to finish his breakfast. It was taking longer to argue with his friend than to just drink it. Rev perked up visibly and went to prepare his own food. It was too bad, Tech thought, that he'd had to impose a 'no food in the lab' restriction. It was, however, one of the most important lessons he'd learned back at the academy . . . with explosive results. He set the empty glass down with a slight thunk. "Thank you, Rev. Now, if I may be excused? . . ."
"Before ya go." Ace interrupted the scientist. Watching the coyote scavenge his breakfast had given the Loonatic leader an idea. "I been t'inkin. We're gonna all take turns fixing dinner for everyone once a week. Starting tanight."
Tech stalled, staring incredulously at the yellow tinged bunny. "But, . . . but I haven't had to do chores since I invented my first turbo vac when I was eight."
"It's not a punishment." Ace scowled when Danger muttered a comment on it being cruel and unusual punishment. "Besides, its been proven that children who eat a sit down meal with da family do better scholastically."
"In case you didn't notice, I've already graduated," Tech deadpanned.
Ace smirked and cast a sidelong glance at Danger. "I was t'inking about Duck."
"Hey! . . ."
"Well, I think it's a great idea." Lexi cut in before anymore objections could be raised. "Eating together is a good way to get in a little more team bonding time."
Slam agreed. Eating was a very social event for all Tasmanian devils and he was excited by the prospect. "Ppptttt pppttttrrhhng first?"
"Yep," Danger commented fatefully. Anything that Slam was this enthusiastic about had to be a bad idea. "Definitely cruel and unusual."
The Loonatics gathered around, extending their hands in the scientifically valid randomizing method of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.' Seeing Slam's huge fist of a 'rock' however, the others conceded and let him go first.
Purple Triangle.
" . . . sound waves for modifying DNA like Otto the Odd's Sonic DNA Scrambler, is too nonspecific for clinical repair of damaged tissue." Tech's voice came out from under the new table that he was constructing for Slam. The coyote was currently under a large table-sized grill that made up most of the new tabletop. He handed out his welding mask and torch for Rev to take. "Rev, please hand me the electro spanner."
Ace, who stood out of the way watching the two work, wondered at the coyote's sudden interest in the life sciences. His genius' specialties were number theory, physics, and quantum mechanics with a very heavy sideline of mechanical engineering. Concern tugged the yellow tinged Loonatic's brow. Of course, lately several super villains had hit them with bio-weapons. The bunny didn't doubt that by now Tech had another doctorate degree or two in the field.
The roadrunner handed the desired wrench to Tech while picking up the conversation again. Rev hadn't much background in the life sciences. His scientific expertise ran more in the lines of the mechanical. Since this morning when he had been unable to converse with Tech on genetics, the speedster had done some quick reading up on the subject. "But-manipulating-genetics-by-shooting-microscopic-'gold-balls'-of-DNA-into-cells-via-sound-waves,-though-electrical-fields-would-be-more-effective,-usually-results-in-a-high-cell-mortality-rate. Otto's-Sonic-DNA-Scrambler-must-have-been-extraordinary."
"Very," Tech agreed."Though his genius was wasted in evil. He had even transcribed the desired zoological DNA into PNA which is a synthesized chemical similar to DNA and RNA, the more biologically stable peptide nucleic acid made crossing cellular membranes easier. Using shorter PNA-oligomers with their higher binding strength, he greatly increased the specificity of his mutations."
"Ooo-kay." Even Rev's eyes were starting to gloss over at this stage. "You-lost-me-there. Are-you-saying-that-he-used-man-made-'DNA'-to-make-us-into-Galactic-Oddities?"
Rev turned on the grill to test it out, zapping Tech in the process. Tech stumbled out from under the table.
Slam, wearing a chef's hat and apron, entered the new kitchen-dining room that Tech was designing for him. It was actually converted from one of the smaller labs that the genius wasn't using. The Tasmanian devil pushed a side cart loaded with ingredients and cooking implements in front of him. The purple tinged devil took one look at the crisp coyote and grinned. Good. Tech even tested out the grill for him.
"It's all yours, Slam." Tech's emerald glow faded as he finished regenerating. The inventor took off Rev's baseball cap that he'd worn backwards to keep the welding sparks from going down his neck. Not that the precaution had done him any good. He cast a doleful glare at Rev, but otherwise made no mention of the incident. He tossed the borrowed cap back to the roadrunner. "Essentially correct, Rev, however . . .."
Lexi shook her head as she entered the lab set aside for their dinners together. Rev's and Tech's idea of polite dinner conversation was greatly lacking. She interrupted the scientist before he could get started on a dissertation level lecture. "Okay guys, leave the lab talk in the lab. This is dinner, not Oligonucleotide Probes 701."
Rev set up the small holo-projector that Tech made for the room. A modified version of Ace's dojo routine sprang into existence surrounding the table and cooking hood over it that whisked away the steam and smoke of cooking. It gave the new Loonatic formal dining room an appropriately Japanese kitchen atmosphere for Slam's dinner. "Man-you-know-between-programming-in-the-holo-projector-and-making-the-cooking-table,-Tech's-and-my-turns-for-cooking-dinner-ought-to-be-counted-in-tonight-as-well."
"Nah, it took youse two maybe all of five minutes ta set up." Ace took his place at the table near Lexi. Danger quacked in on his other side.
Splashing oil and vinegar on the hot grill, Slam go to work. Steamed rice, eggs, vegetables, and a wide assortment of seafoods and meats soon sizzled in the center of the table. While the fried rice cooked, the Tasmanian devil sliced an onion, poking out the centers of the slices and stacking the rings largest to smallest to form a miniature volcano. He splashed in rice vinegar causing the onion 'volcano' to 'erupt' in a cloud of pungent steam. Slam bowed slightly at his teammates applause at his culinary skill. The cooking style suited the violet hued devil. He thoroughly enjoyed the wild abandon of cooking and flinging the food about. He tossed portions appropriate to his friends' tastes and preferences onto the Loonatics' plates sitting on the cool wooden border of the table, and sometimes in their pockets.
"I'm doomed." Dismayed, Danger muttered to himself, dreading when his turn to cook rolled around. "I can't even make toast."
"Hold-on-a-minute!" As they were about to eat, Rev dashed to Acme-Japan getting bamboo chopsticks for everyone. He was back before the food could get cold.
Everything smelled wonderful and tasted even better. Halfway through the meal, Zadavia's image projected in on the hologram beam.
"Loonatics, we have a problem. Black Velvet has been sighted up to her old tricks. Her shadow troops have stolen the Acme research laser modulator, and the Acmetropolis Museum of Science Ultra Prism. And now she's broken into the worldwide Acmetropolis broadcast station." Tech's eyes widened and his chopsticks dropped from his fingers. He knew what the night felon was up to. Without waiting for Ace to call them to action, the coyote dashed to his lab for his holster style utility belt that held his latest inventions.