::The Slain::
Warning: this story contains drugs, violence, death, suicide, religion, and sexual themes. The rating may change to R as the plot progresses. As for all of you looking forward to the drugs, violence, etc. . . you can rest assured that there will most likely be much more than what you see here . . . that is, unless you'd prefer something else. Any suggestions?
Prologue
I have seen a gentle shape again
Looking at this person
The sea embraces me, small that I am
I do not know that voice, for it shouts nothing to me
Shot up from behind, in front of my closing eyes, I was laughing
Shot up from behind, I vanish completely
~ "The Slain", Luna Sea
Dear David,
I have spent long, sleepless hours wondering just how to begin this letter, and worrying that you won't understand what I have to say. There's no easy way to tell you, I have to be straightforward: I'm going away . . . not to a better place, but to a place that will give me what I deserve.
You must know that it isn't because I don't love you and Kara. I love you more than anything, more than life itself. That's why I'm giving you this chance. I have secrets, dark secrets that you never knew. I'll never forgive myself for what happened to Michael. It was my fault that he was born the way he was, and it was my fault that he died so long before his time.
My life with you was one huge lie from the night we met. I told you when you found me lying bloody and broken on the street that my boyfriend had drugged me, raped me, beaten me, but not a word of it was the truth. I was on drugs, addicted, and in fact the drugs are the only thing that gives me the strength to write this. That night, I sold my body for the first time, but I was unlucky. A man took me into his bed, but when I told him I had to collect my money and leave, he tried to kill me. I managed to escape, and when you walked up, you looked like an angel sent from heaven. I tried to come clean for you, I swear, I really did, but it was too hard. I'm weak, David . . .and that's why I'm accepting my destiny now before it's too late, before I can do any more damage to this world.
I lied again when I told you that I couldn't get pregnant. I felt so bad after we adopted Kara and then I had a baby of my own . . . I pretended it was an amazing coincidence, but in truth I guess the birth control pills that I hid from you failed. I lied to you because I was afraid that our baby would be born horribly deformed, and I was right. Now it's time to end the lies. I pray that speaking the truth will somehow save my soul, but I know it's not enough simply to tell you. You are a good man, David, and you are destined for wonderful things. I'm afraid that I will not see you again, in this life or the next, but you can still save yourself and Kara. Teach her to be religious and praise the Lord, but never venture into Dahlia Gillespie's church, for that is a dark realm of horrors containing secrets that even here I don't dare to divulge. I'd like to be able to blame her, say that I was misled, but deep down inside I know that's not true. Had I tried to resist, I would have succeeded. Now there's only one way out, but first I must confess the most terrible secret my heart contains: I hated our son.
I hated Michael for being the way that he was - a freak. I was glad when he died. I only pretended to cry at his funeral because it's what I was expected to do, but I honestly couldn't find it in my heart to love my very own son. For this, I have grown to hate the world and myself. Kara was always close to you, and the two of you will be fine without me. What has happened to me is no one's fault but my own. Take care of Kara, and be sure she never falls into the trap in which I spent long, lonely years searching for a way out. Visit Michael's grave, and show him that at least one parent loved him and cared. Promise me that when the Devil whispers into your ear, you won't listen.
Love always and forever,
Anna
Warning: this story contains drugs, violence, death, suicide, religion, and sexual themes. The rating may change to R as the plot progresses. As for all of you looking forward to the drugs, violence, etc. . . you can rest assured that there will most likely be much more than what you see here . . . that is, unless you'd prefer something else. Any suggestions?
Prologue
I have seen a gentle shape again
Looking at this person
The sea embraces me, small that I am
I do not know that voice, for it shouts nothing to me
Shot up from behind, in front of my closing eyes, I was laughing
Shot up from behind, I vanish completely
~ "The Slain", Luna Sea
Dear David,
I have spent long, sleepless hours wondering just how to begin this letter, and worrying that you won't understand what I have to say. There's no easy way to tell you, I have to be straightforward: I'm going away . . . not to a better place, but to a place that will give me what I deserve.
You must know that it isn't because I don't love you and Kara. I love you more than anything, more than life itself. That's why I'm giving you this chance. I have secrets, dark secrets that you never knew. I'll never forgive myself for what happened to Michael. It was my fault that he was born the way he was, and it was my fault that he died so long before his time.
My life with you was one huge lie from the night we met. I told you when you found me lying bloody and broken on the street that my boyfriend had drugged me, raped me, beaten me, but not a word of it was the truth. I was on drugs, addicted, and in fact the drugs are the only thing that gives me the strength to write this. That night, I sold my body for the first time, but I was unlucky. A man took me into his bed, but when I told him I had to collect my money and leave, he tried to kill me. I managed to escape, and when you walked up, you looked like an angel sent from heaven. I tried to come clean for you, I swear, I really did, but it was too hard. I'm weak, David . . .and that's why I'm accepting my destiny now before it's too late, before I can do any more damage to this world.
I lied again when I told you that I couldn't get pregnant. I felt so bad after we adopted Kara and then I had a baby of my own . . . I pretended it was an amazing coincidence, but in truth I guess the birth control pills that I hid from you failed. I lied to you because I was afraid that our baby would be born horribly deformed, and I was right. Now it's time to end the lies. I pray that speaking the truth will somehow save my soul, but I know it's not enough simply to tell you. You are a good man, David, and you are destined for wonderful things. I'm afraid that I will not see you again, in this life or the next, but you can still save yourself and Kara. Teach her to be religious and praise the Lord, but never venture into Dahlia Gillespie's church, for that is a dark realm of horrors containing secrets that even here I don't dare to divulge. I'd like to be able to blame her, say that I was misled, but deep down inside I know that's not true. Had I tried to resist, I would have succeeded. Now there's only one way out, but first I must confess the most terrible secret my heart contains: I hated our son.
I hated Michael for being the way that he was - a freak. I was glad when he died. I only pretended to cry at his funeral because it's what I was expected to do, but I honestly couldn't find it in my heart to love my very own son. For this, I have grown to hate the world and myself. Kara was always close to you, and the two of you will be fine without me. What has happened to me is no one's fault but my own. Take care of Kara, and be sure she never falls into the trap in which I spent long, lonely years searching for a way out. Visit Michael's grave, and show him that at least one parent loved him and cared. Promise me that when the Devil whispers into your ear, you won't listen.
Love always and forever,
Anna