Hello and welcome to my twisted little world! Flamers get a life and leave
me alone! Sorry, I just had to say that. I usually don't, but this time
I'll make an exception. This is the second draft and the first chapter of
this series. I know what your saying, read it over more then twice so that
it's the best it can be when you publish it, but right now I just don't
have the time. I have a killer schedule, and the fact that I can do this
at all is a miracle. Anyways. Enjoy the story and review it if that is
what tickles your fancy. If not then just leave without flaming. O, and
as I said before, Flamers get a life and leave me alone. I don't need your
bad vibes. My frail little soul couldn't take it. Also, when loaded onto
the site I've been having issues with the formatting of the story, so
please bear with me through those problems.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Who Wants to be a Millionaire in any
way shape or form. I just did a cross over because it sounded funny.
Maybe one day I'll do a crossover with other game shows like Wheel of
Fortune or Hollywood Squares, but for now this is good. ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regis: This week on Who Wants to be a Millionaire we are having a special Yu-Gi-Oh! edition. Our special guests are **camera pans around the room and then at the contestants***** Seto Kaiba, Yugi Moto, Tea Gardner *crowd boos wildly*, Triston Taylor, Mai Valentine, Bandit Keith, Bakura, Joey Wheeler, Maximillion Pegasus, and Mako Tsunami! Thank you all for coming onto our show.
Mai: The pleasure is ours. I've always wanted to be on television. But why you invited some of these losers is beyond me.
Mako: Hey! Who are you calling a loser!
Keith: Yea, if your talking to me then I'll-
Regis: Okay, no more fighting! This show won't be like the rehearsals!
Seto: Doubtful.
Regis: Moving on. Now we'll have our fastest finger question!
Joey: Yea, and we all know who's gonna win that one!
Tea: And what is that supposed to mean?
Yugi: Joey, we must trust in the heart of the cards! Only then can we win!
Joey: Umm. Yug, this game doesn't have cards.
Seto: How long did it take you to figure that one out?
Tea: Hey! That wasn't nice!
Yugi: Ummm. Okay then. We must trust in the heart of the buttons!
Tea: Yea! And trust in friendship! Winning is nothing without friendship! And that is something that Kaiba just doesn't understand. Right Yugi!
Yugi: Uh.Yea. Umm. What ever.
Regis: Enough of that! Here is our first fastest finger question! Put the following words in zetabetical order.
A. Blue
B. Eyes
C. White
D. Dragon
**camera pans around to the contestants pressing their keypads**
Regis: And time is up!
Joey: What the heck is zetabetical order?
Kaiba: It's reversed alphabetical order you idiot!
Joey: What did you call me?
Mai: Just forget it Joey, Kaiba is still upset about Battle City.
Kaiba: No I'm Not!
Mai: I think you are. It's so obvious that your----
Regis: *Annoyed* Now for the correct answer and our winner. The correct order is C, B, D, A. Now for our winner. It's Seto Kaiba!
Seto: Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! I knew I would beat Yugi!
Regis: Yea. When we get back from our commercial break Seto Kaiba will go for the Million!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Annoying Commercial Guy: Have you ever been possessed by a spirit from Ancient Egypt? Is that spirit evil? Or does it refuse to give you room? Does the spirit take all the glory and fun out of playing Dual Monsters? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then you many have a condition known as Evil Yami Spirit Syndrome. EYS is a condition resulting from prolonged exposure to ancient spirits, but can be controlled at home. All you need is the purple pill Yamway. Yamway has a low occurrence of side effects. Some may include mood changes, loss of height, and sleepless nights. Ask your doctor for Yamiaway today, and remember, you're not alone in your fight against Ancient Egyptian Spirits.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: So, Mr. Kaiba, tell everybody at home a little bit about yourself.
Kaiba: I'm the President of my own multinational corporation, called KaibaCorps.
Regis: Really, then why are you here? It sounds like you make a lot of money.
Kaiba: Yes, I'm rich. I'm only here to beat Yugi, and I already have in the fastest finger question. Now all I have to do is get the million to show that my superior intellect will always win.
Regis: Really. Um, that very interesting! Have any family?
Kaiba: I have a little brother, Mokuba, and we used to have a "father".
Regis: What do you mean by "father"?
Kaiba: He adopted Mokuba and I after I beat him in a game of chess, but I never really like him. After many painful years I finally cracked and pushed him out a window, but he ended up dieing of a heart attack after it happened.
Regis: Really. Okay, now for the $100 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the name of the Creator of the modern version of Dual Monsters?
A. Zeus
B. Maximillion Pegasus
C. Gozaburo Kaiba
D. Telthulë Greene
Kaiba: That's an easy question. Anybody with a brain would know the answer.
Tea: I don't know the answer!
Kaiba: I'll say it again, anybody with a brain would know the answer. It's B.
Regis: It that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! Now for the $200 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the square root of 144?
A. 3
B. 20736
C. 6
D. 12
Kaiba: Well, since I am a genius I know the answer to that. It's D. Final answer.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: I just said it was!
Regis: Okay, steal my famous catch phrase..*mutters something to himself* you got it right.
Kaiba: I knew that! Get to the next question!
Regis: Okay, now for the $300 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
How many points is a bulls eye worth in darts?
A. 25
B. 50
C. 100
D. 150
Kaiba: This is an interesting one. I love playing darts, but I don't use a standard target.
Regis: What do you mean by that?
Pegasus: He means that he uses picture of Yugi.
Kaiba: You have no proof!
Pegasus: Millennium Eye, I can see into your mind, and it says that you are very good at hitting his eyes.
Yugi: That isn't nice Kaiba!
Tea: Yea, you're a big meanie!
Pegasus: Tea, do you want me to tell them what you do with pictures of Yugi?
Tea: ........
Regis: And back to the show. Ya know Mr. Kaiba, you could use one of your three Life Lines.
Kaiba: I don't think I'll need to do that. The answer is B. It's kind of a guess, but I like taking risks.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes, B. Final Answer.
Regis: Ya know, I knew the answer to this one.
Kaiba: So, all that matters is if I know it.
Regis: Well. You got it right! You now have $300! Now for the $500 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What city is Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet set in?
A. London, England
B. Verona, Italy
C. Paris, France
D. Liverpool, England
Kaiba: I know this one. Despite popular beliefs I do have a sensitive side.
Triston: I would have never guessed that. *Joey gives Triston a high five*
Kaiba: Shut up! You probably can't even understand what they are saying in any of Shakespeare's works.
Triston: Sorry, I only sensitive side when it comes to Serenity. O Sweet Serenity-
Joey: Hey, that isn't cool man.
Mako: Give it up Joey, your sister is hot!
Joey: Hey!
Yugi: It's true Joey, I would go out with her any day.
Joey: Not you too!
Kaiba: No matter how amusing this is, I want to win the game. The answer is B. Verona, Italy.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! Now for the $1,000 question. Now remember, this is a very important question because if you get it right you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much. And the question is. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the capital of Monaco?
A. St. Johannesburg
B. Luxemburg
C. Monaco
D. Las Vegas
Kaiba: This is easy. I can do it through process of elimination.
Regis: Really, that is an interesting strategy.
Kaiba: Yea, having a good strategy is the best way to win.
Tea: Really! I always thought the best way to win was with friends, because you're nothing without your friends!
Pegasus: SHUT UP TEA!!!! NOBODY WANTS YOU TO TALK!!!!!!! *everybody stares at Pegasus*
Yugi: That wasn't nice.
Mai: Ya know Yugi, I think I has a point. Tea only talks about friends, but has she even contributed in any way to anything you guys have ever done? I mean, the things she says can only last so long, then she starts saying it over and over and over again, so it looses all meaning!
Yugi: Tea has done plenty of things, like. *Yugi thinks really hard* Um. I know there is something. *puts on the Thinking Cap*
Regis: While Yugi thinks we should get back to the question.
Kaiba: Yes, and the answer is C. Monaco is the capital of Monaco.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: You got that one right! You have $1,000 and can't leave with less than that!
Kaiba: This is just the beginning.
Regis: Right! But now it's time for a commercial break! When we get back we'll find out whom Mr. Kaiba brought with him to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Italian Commercial Guy: Do you have security issues? Do ya need some one to follow ya around, ta protect ya? Well if ya do then we're right for you. We can have one of our guys follow ya around for a day, a week, a month, or even a year. If ya can pay da price. If ya got money and, um, desire our "services" then just call da family. We'll take care of ya problems real fast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: Now back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Kaiba: Can we get to the questions?
Regis: But don't you want everybody in America to see whom you've brought to New York City to sit in the audience?
Kaiba: What ever. I'm sure everybody already knows whom I brought.
Regis: Really? Why do you say that?
Kaiba: Your question is irrelevant. Can we get back to this useless game?!
Regis: If you think it is useless then why did you come?
Kaiba: For one resin, and that resin is so I can finally beat Yugi Moto!
Yugi: So, you're still mad about those duals, eh? Well, you lost because you did not believe in the heart of the cards. You can not get very far if you do not believe in the heart of the cards because-
Kaiba: Will you shut up!! Only a spiky haired idiot would believe in the heart of the cards!
Tea: Wait a minute! Yugi may have spiky hair, and he may have failed half of his classes last year, but he does believe in the heart of the cards!
Mako: Yet another useless comment from Tea.
Regis: Yea, but that happens almost every time she says something. But back to the shoe! I mean show!
Joey: Hahahahahaaa, he said shoe! That's a classic!
Mako: Will you shut up! You horrible Brooklyn accent is giving me a headache.
Joey: Huh? Wadda ya mean bad Brooklyn accent?
Mako: You know what I mean! You're a Brooklyn wannabe.
Kaiba: Will the two of you be quiet! I'm trying to win and you insolent sniveling isn't helping!
Tea: Yea. What he said!
Pegasus: Will somebody please take that useless girl away!? She is worthless in everyway! Tea is a waste of carbon.
Tea: Hey! That isn't nice!
Regis: That's it! Guards! Take Tea away, permanently! *Four guys dressed in black business suits with metal knuckles take Tea away, permanently* ****The crowd goes wild**
Yugi: Hey! That wasn't nice! And what are you going to do to Tea?
Kaiba: Didn't you hear him. Tea is being taken away, permanently.
Joey: Wait a minute, will we ever see Tea again?
Mako: He said permanently, so probably not.
Regis: Yes, that is the way of all the big studios. We get rid of those who stand in our way. or those who just annoy me.
Kaiba: Will you give me the $2,000 question!
Regis: Of course! Now for the $2,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
Triston: Hey! We never found out whom Kaiba brought to the show!
Mokuba: He brought me! Who else!
Yugi: *under his breath* I didn't see that one coming.
Mokuba: Hey big brother! I know your gonna win the million! You're the best!
Kaiba: Thanks Mokuba.
Regis: So Mokuba is your brother?
Kaiba: Yea.
Regis: Any other family?
Kaiba: No, as I said before our adoptive father, Gozaburo, died of a heart attack. Mokuba is my only family.
Regis: It's so sad when that happens. But now we must get back to the show.
Kaiba: Finally.
Regis: Now for the $2,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
How do you write 99 in Roman numerals?
A. XCCX
B. XCXI
C. XCIX
D. CXIC
Kaiba: That is an easy question. The answer is C.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! You've just won $2,000! Are you excited?
Kaiba: Not really. I make more money then that in my sleep.
Regis: Yea, I forgot about you business.
Kaiba: Can we get on with this game?
Regis: Of course! Now for the $4,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What does the German word blitzkrieg mean?
A. Sitting War
B. Killing War
C. Laughing War
D. Lightning War
Kaiba: This is a tough question. I don't speak German.
Regis: How do you know it's German?
Kaiba: Well, in history class we talked about WWII and this came up somewhere.
Joey: I know the answer! *giggles like an English schoolgirl* You don't!
Kaiba: I know the answer.
Joey: I don't think you know the answer! And your not man enough to take any chances!
Kaiba: Shut up Joey. You're almost as much of a waste as Tea-
Yugi: That isn't a nice thing to say Kaiba!
Mokuba: Be quiet! My big brother is trying to concentrate!
Kaiba: It's okay Mokuba. I know the answer.
Joey: Then why don't you just say it?
Regis: Don't make any hasty decisions. And remember, you do have all three life lines.
Kaiba: I don't need those. I know the answer, and it's D.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: You took a big risk. And it paid off! You have $4,000!
Kaiba: I told you that I knew the answer.
Mokuba: Yay! You got it right big brother!
Joey: It was just dumb luck.
Mai: More luck then you'll ever have. *Joey looks at Mai with his typically stupid gaze*
Regis: Okay, that was fun but now it is time for another visit from our generous sponsors!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Normal Commercial Guy: Do you need a new car fast? How about a motorcycle? If you do then come on over and we'll set you up with a great deal! We have blue cars, white cars, and even black cars with big, soundproof trunks if you're a businessman! So come on down and visit us as Little Tommy's Car Dealership! At Tommy's we're always ready to strike a good deal!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: And now we're back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Mai: Will you stop it with that stupid look? You did it all commercial! *the guys in black suits step from the shadows off stage into a place where Joey can see them*
Joey: Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to offend anybody.
Regis: That is wonderful news! But we need to get back to the show. *the guys in black suits move back to their place back stage*
Regis: Now for the $8,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What's the pen name of Theodor Geisel?
A. Dr. Seuss
B. Mark Twain
C. John Dhani Lennevald
D. Mr. Rogers
Kaiba: This is a hard question. I can narrow it down to two.
Regis: You do have three lifelines waiting to help you.
Kaiba: I think I'll use the 50/50.
Regis: Computer, randomly take away two of the wrong answers leaving one wrong answer and the correct one.
What's the pen name of Theodor Geisel?
A. Dr. Seuss
B. Mark Twain
Kaiba: Well, now I know the answer. Everybody knows that Mark Twain was the pen name of Samuel Clemens. It was that Amber that screwed me up. So it must be A, Dr. Seuss.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Do you have to say that every time!!
Regis: Yes.
Kaiba: Fine then! Yes it's my final answer!!
Regis: You got it right! You have just won $8,000!
Kaiba: Hurry up already! I have a business to run! I can't waste my precious time here doing this meaningless show. I'm already a multi- millionaire!
Mako: O please, you're here for the same resin that I'm here. We want to play the game and win.
Kaiba: Whatever.
Regis: Okay! Now for the $16,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is Avagadro's Number?
A. 6.02 * 10^23
B. 6,986,980,431
C. 7.03 * 10^20
D. 75 Billion
Kaiba: That is so easy. The answer is A.
Regis: Do you know another name for Avagadro's Number?
Kaiba: Yea, the Mole.
Regis: You got it and $16,000! Now the next question is very important. It is for $32,000. If you get it right then you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much money. Are you ready?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: Okay, here it comes, the $32,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays** On the Electromagnetic Spectrum, which of the following waves has the highest frequency?
A. Radio Waves
B. Visible Light
C. Microwaves
D. Gamma Rays
Joey: The electro-mag-neto-what?
Mai: The Electromagnetic Spectrum. I thought that even a worthless kid like you would know what it is.
Joey: You're just sayin' that cuz I beat ya in Dualist Kingdom.
Mako: No Joey, she isn't. Even I know what the electromagnetic spectrum is. Yugi: Joey, I think that you should just be quiet for this one.
Kaiba: Will you all just shut up! I want to give my answer!
Regis: Now you're sure that you don't want to use any of your lifelines.
Kaiba: Save those for the hard questions. This one is so easy that only a dirty cur wouldn't know the answer.
Joey: Hey!
Kaiba: The answer is D, Gamma Rays.
Regis: Is that your final answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: Are you sure that you don't want to use a lifeline? This is a very important question.
Kaiba: Just tell everybody that I'm right and get on with it!
Regis: Okay, okay, don't hurt a guy that's just trying to help you. **Complete Silence in the Crowd**
Joey: So. Was he right?
Regis: Seto Kaiba, you've just won $32,000. Now you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much money.
Kaiba: I'm gonna leave with the million.
Mokuba: Yea! Go Big Brother!
Regis: Okay, if you have that goal then we'd better take a look at the $64,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
How long did the Hundred Years' War Last?
A. 100 Years
B. 200 Years
C. 115 Years
D. Trick Question, There Was Never A Hundred Years' War
Kaiba: I might have to think about this one.
Yugi: What is there to think about? It says Hundred Years' War, so it must have lasted one hundred years.
Mai: Yea, the name says it all.
Joey: Even I know that the name can't be wrong!
Make: I don't know. The entire trick question thing might be the answer.
Kaiba: You're all wrong! The answer is 115 Years! Don't ask how I know, but I do!
Regis: Well if you aren't entirely sure you do have all those wonderful lifelines.
Kaiba: Leave my lifelines out of this! I don't need them! I know the answer.
Mokuba: Go Big Brother!
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You took a big risk. After all, it might have been a trick question. And you didn't even go with the name of the war and-
Kaiba: GET ON WITH IT!
Regis: You have just won $64,000!
Mai: But how could that be? It was called the hundred years war so if it didn't last a hundred years.
Yugi: We should have know better than to have judged the war by its title.
Regis: Now time for the $124,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What were the sides of the U.S. fighting ship nicknames Old Ironsides made of?
A. Plastic
B. Wood
C. Iron
D. Steel
Kaiba: B. Final Answer.
Regis: Are you sure? Because if you aren't you still have-
Kaiba: I SWEAR THAT IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY LIFELINES OUT OF THIS THAT I'LL KILL YOU!
Regis: *crouches is fear* Sorry!
Yugi: Kaiba, that wasn't very nice!
Joey: Yea, ya gotta be nice to the host!
Kaiba: Shut up cur!
Joey: What da hell is a cur?
Kaiba: Look it up in a dictionary. O wait, you aren't smart enough to use one of those fancy books.
Mai: Okay, that might have stepped over the line just a little bit.
Yugi: Yea. but what is a cur?
Mako: I don't know.
Pegasus: I know what a cur is. And if I may be so bold as to say so, Joey is one. In fact, Joey is the perfect definition of a cur!
Kaiba: Can we get back to my question!
Regis: Yea, umm. You've just won $124,000.
Yugi: Hey! You can't change the topic just like that!
Mokuba: My big brother can do anything he wants!
Yugi: Stay out of this Mokuba.
Kaiba: You can't talk to my brother like that!
Yugi: Who's gonna stop me?
Kaiba: I will. *Kaiba straps on some metal knuckles*
Regis: Now please. I don't want to have the boys come back and "escort" you both out of the studio. Can we just calm it down a little?
Joey: Hey, what ever happened to Tea?
Regis: Commercial time! When we get back Mr. Seto Kaiba will be going for $250,000!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* **Clip of Tea in a burlap sack being thrown over Niagara Falls by the guys in black suits** Italian Commercial Guy: Do ya got problems with people? Do ya wanna way to, um, silence them? If ya do then just call da family. We'll take care of ya problems real fast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yugi: Was that Tea?
Regis: On this show we don't ask questions about our sponsors...
Kaiba: Can we get on with this? I have a business to run!
Regis: Okay then, now Mr. Kaiba will go for the $250,000 question!
Kaiba: Finally, it's almost over.
Regis: Now for the $250,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What was the name of Mother Goose's son?
A. Jack
B. William
C. Duke
D. Jim
Kaiba: What kind of a question is that? Only wimps like Yugi and Joey read Mother Goose!
Yugi: Hey! Just because I know the answer doesn't make me a wimp!
Joey: You know the answer! I do too! We read the Mother Goose series in our book club and this came up during a meeting once.
Yugi: SHUT IT JOEY! The book club was supposed to stay between the two of us!
Regis: That was weird and disturbing.
Kaiba: Yea.
Regis: So Mr. Kaiba. are you going to use a lifeline?
Kaiba: Yes! Are you happy now? I'm finally using one of your precious lifelines!
Regis: Yes, I'm ecstatic! Now, which one do you choose? Ask the Audience or Phone a Friend?
Mai: Since he doesn't have any friends he has to ask the audience. *Joey, Yugi, Mako, and Triston chuckle*
Mokuba: My big brother has lots of friends!
Kaiba: Yea, and I think that I'll call one of them. I would like to call Amber Smith.
Regis: And who is this Amber Smith?
Kaiba: Amber is a friend of mine. We took Chemistry class together.
Regis: O, well you've got to trust your lab partner!
Kaiba: Yea. whatever. I never trusted her with chemicals. or acid. or taking down results. or anything else that had even the remotest possibility for her to screw up.
Regis: Okay. Now our good friends Sprint will get Amber on the phone. **Ring** **Ring** **Ring** **Ring**
Amber: Hello!
Regis: Amber! This is Regis Philbin, Host of Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Amber: O My God!!!! I can't believe it! My voice is on TV! This is so cool! I thought that is was weird when Seto asked me to be his phone a friend but I said yes because I thought that my voice would be on TV but then he said that the chances of him actually using this lifeline were slim to nothing and I said that he didn't have to crush my dreams and then he said that-
Regis: SHUT UP! I mean, Seto needs your help on a question. I'll give him 30 seconds to give you the question and the four possible answers.
Amber: Okay!
Regis: Seto, your time starts.Now!
Kaiba: What is the name of Mother Goose's son?
Amber: O MY GOD!, I know this one. It is such a cute little name! If I ever have a son I would name him it if my husband is cool and the kid kinda fits the name and if I'm in a good mood at the time which I probably won't be because it would really really really really hurt having a baby because that's what I've been told so I don't' know if I would ever really want one-
Regis: 5 seconds left.
Kaiba: AMBER! What's the answer!
Amber: O, right! It's Jack!
Kaiba: Bout' time.
Amber: Okay, bye Se-
Regis: And time is up!
Yugi: That was a very interesting conversation.
Kaiba: Shut up. Just shut up.
Yugi: .
Regis: So, are you going to go with what Lea said, or will you use your other lifeline?
Kaiba: I'll go with Amber on this one. She would know because it was a worthless question and only people like Amber and her worthless friends would know worthless things like what the name of Mother Goose's son is.
Yugi: But Amber is one of Tea's friends!
Keith: And Tea was worthless too, so lets get on with this!
Regis: So. is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes, A, final answer.
Regis: You too a big risk when you went with what Amber said.
Kaiba: I know. She had better have been right.
Regis: Well. That risk paid off! Seto Kaiba, you've just won $25,000!
Kaiba: Ha! That dumb blond finally got something right!
Regis: Right now Seto is only two questions away from the million. And here it is, $500,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What vowel do all Esperanto nouns end in?
A. A
B. U
C. E
D. O
Kaiba: This is easy. D, final answer!
Regis: Okay, if you say so.
Kaiba: Just give me the last question.
Regis: You seem sure about your answer from the last question.
Kaiba: I know that I'm correct because the word Esperanto is a noun and it ends in an O therefore the answer must be O because Esperanto is a word in the language of Esperanto.
Regis: Is that so.
Kaiba: Just say that I got the question right.
Regis: You've just won $500,000!
Kaiba: About time! Now give me the last question so that I can stop wasting my time on this pointless show.
Regis: Right! Now for the One Million Dollar Question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What mountain erupted to destroy Pompeii?
A. Mount St. Helens
B. Mount Fuji
C. Mount Vesuvius
D. Mount Kreifels
Yugi: Is that the million-dollar question? It's so easy!
Regis: Well, the questions are selected in a random order. What may be easy for you might be very hard for the person who is in the hot seat.
Kaiba: This was an easy question for me as well. Anybody with a brain should know the answer!
Joey: I don't know the answer.
Kaiba: I'll say it again; anybody with a brain would know the answer.
Yugi: That was uncalled for!
Mai: Well, he does have a point. How the dweeb got this far is beyond me!
Triston: Hey! You don't be dissin' on my buddy.
Mai: O please! Why don't the two of you just get a room!
Joey: I'm too busy with Yugi to do that.
Mako: Okay, that was sick Joey. Almost as bad as that time that you yelled, "Let's mate right now" to Yugi in front of the entire class.
Regis: OKAY, end of that conversation. Your final answer Mr. Kaiba?
Kaiba: C. Final Answer.
Regis: Your ether going to leave the hot seat one million dollars richer or as another person who choked on the final question and left with considerable less.
Kaiba: I know exactly how I'm going to leave.
Regis: Really? I do too. Seto Kaiba, YOU'VE JUST WON ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
**Confetti falls from the ceiling and the crowd cheers wildly*
Mokuba: Way to go big brother! I knew you could do it!
Kaiba: Hahahahahahahha! I've won! Now I'm an even richer president of my own high-tech company!
Regis: Congratulations Mr. Kaiba! *hands Seto a check for one million dollars*
Kaiba: Wonderful! Can I leave now?
Regis: Yes, right out that way! *points to area off stage* That is it for another exciting edition of Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
~*~*~*~*~*~Fade to Black and Show Credits~*~*~*~*~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, some of you may be wondering about the entire Joey-yelling-about- mating-with-Yugi thing. And I have proof that it happened for you unbelievers out there. It happened in an issue of Shogen Jump (I probably murdered the spelling on that one.) that I saw at my friend's house. I bought a copy for myself soon after so that I could use references to it in my fanfics. Sorry that I'm too lazy to dig it out of my room to give you when it was published and the issue number. And sorry for my bad spelling, I have never passed a spelling test, and I worship the spell-check on my computer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Regis: This week on Who Wants to be a Millionaire we are having a special Yu-Gi-Oh! edition. Our special guests are **camera pans around the room and then at the contestants***** Seto Kaiba, Yugi Moto, Tea Gardner *crowd boos wildly*, Triston Taylor, Mai Valentine, Bandit Keith, Bakura, Joey Wheeler, Maximillion Pegasus, and Mako Tsunami! Thank you all for coming onto our show.
Mai: The pleasure is ours. I've always wanted to be on television. But why you invited some of these losers is beyond me.
Mako: Hey! Who are you calling a loser!
Keith: Yea, if your talking to me then I'll-
Regis: Okay, no more fighting! This show won't be like the rehearsals!
Seto: Doubtful.
Regis: Moving on. Now we'll have our fastest finger question!
Joey: Yea, and we all know who's gonna win that one!
Tea: And what is that supposed to mean?
Yugi: Joey, we must trust in the heart of the cards! Only then can we win!
Joey: Umm. Yug, this game doesn't have cards.
Seto: How long did it take you to figure that one out?
Tea: Hey! That wasn't nice!
Yugi: Ummm. Okay then. We must trust in the heart of the buttons!
Tea: Yea! And trust in friendship! Winning is nothing without friendship! And that is something that Kaiba just doesn't understand. Right Yugi!
Yugi: Uh.Yea. Umm. What ever.
Regis: Enough of that! Here is our first fastest finger question! Put the following words in zetabetical order.
A. Blue
B. Eyes
C. White
D. Dragon
**camera pans around to the contestants pressing their keypads**
Regis: And time is up!
Joey: What the heck is zetabetical order?
Kaiba: It's reversed alphabetical order you idiot!
Joey: What did you call me?
Mai: Just forget it Joey, Kaiba is still upset about Battle City.
Kaiba: No I'm Not!
Mai: I think you are. It's so obvious that your----
Regis: *Annoyed* Now for the correct answer and our winner. The correct order is C, B, D, A. Now for our winner. It's Seto Kaiba!
Seto: Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! I knew I would beat Yugi!
Regis: Yea. When we get back from our commercial break Seto Kaiba will go for the Million!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Annoying Commercial Guy: Have you ever been possessed by a spirit from Ancient Egypt? Is that spirit evil? Or does it refuse to give you room? Does the spirit take all the glory and fun out of playing Dual Monsters? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then you many have a condition known as Evil Yami Spirit Syndrome. EYS is a condition resulting from prolonged exposure to ancient spirits, but can be controlled at home. All you need is the purple pill Yamway. Yamway has a low occurrence of side effects. Some may include mood changes, loss of height, and sleepless nights. Ask your doctor for Yamiaway today, and remember, you're not alone in your fight against Ancient Egyptian Spirits.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: So, Mr. Kaiba, tell everybody at home a little bit about yourself.
Kaiba: I'm the President of my own multinational corporation, called KaibaCorps.
Regis: Really, then why are you here? It sounds like you make a lot of money.
Kaiba: Yes, I'm rich. I'm only here to beat Yugi, and I already have in the fastest finger question. Now all I have to do is get the million to show that my superior intellect will always win.
Regis: Really. Um, that very interesting! Have any family?
Kaiba: I have a little brother, Mokuba, and we used to have a "father".
Regis: What do you mean by "father"?
Kaiba: He adopted Mokuba and I after I beat him in a game of chess, but I never really like him. After many painful years I finally cracked and pushed him out a window, but he ended up dieing of a heart attack after it happened.
Regis: Really. Okay, now for the $100 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the name of the Creator of the modern version of Dual Monsters?
A. Zeus
B. Maximillion Pegasus
C. Gozaburo Kaiba
D. Telthulë Greene
Kaiba: That's an easy question. Anybody with a brain would know the answer.
Tea: I don't know the answer!
Kaiba: I'll say it again, anybody with a brain would know the answer. It's B.
Regis: It that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! Now for the $200 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the square root of 144?
A. 3
B. 20736
C. 6
D. 12
Kaiba: Well, since I am a genius I know the answer to that. It's D. Final answer.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: I just said it was!
Regis: Okay, steal my famous catch phrase..*mutters something to himself* you got it right.
Kaiba: I knew that! Get to the next question!
Regis: Okay, now for the $300 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
How many points is a bulls eye worth in darts?
A. 25
B. 50
C. 100
D. 150
Kaiba: This is an interesting one. I love playing darts, but I don't use a standard target.
Regis: What do you mean by that?
Pegasus: He means that he uses picture of Yugi.
Kaiba: You have no proof!
Pegasus: Millennium Eye, I can see into your mind, and it says that you are very good at hitting his eyes.
Yugi: That isn't nice Kaiba!
Tea: Yea, you're a big meanie!
Pegasus: Tea, do you want me to tell them what you do with pictures of Yugi?
Tea: ........
Regis: And back to the show. Ya know Mr. Kaiba, you could use one of your three Life Lines.
Kaiba: I don't think I'll need to do that. The answer is B. It's kind of a guess, but I like taking risks.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes, B. Final Answer.
Regis: Ya know, I knew the answer to this one.
Kaiba: So, all that matters is if I know it.
Regis: Well. You got it right! You now have $300! Now for the $500 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What city is Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet set in?
A. London, England
B. Verona, Italy
C. Paris, France
D. Liverpool, England
Kaiba: I know this one. Despite popular beliefs I do have a sensitive side.
Triston: I would have never guessed that. *Joey gives Triston a high five*
Kaiba: Shut up! You probably can't even understand what they are saying in any of Shakespeare's works.
Triston: Sorry, I only sensitive side when it comes to Serenity. O Sweet Serenity-
Joey: Hey, that isn't cool man.
Mako: Give it up Joey, your sister is hot!
Joey: Hey!
Yugi: It's true Joey, I would go out with her any day.
Joey: Not you too!
Kaiba: No matter how amusing this is, I want to win the game. The answer is B. Verona, Italy.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! Now for the $1,000 question. Now remember, this is a very important question because if you get it right you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much. And the question is. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is the capital of Monaco?
A. St. Johannesburg
B. Luxemburg
C. Monaco
D. Las Vegas
Kaiba: This is easy. I can do it through process of elimination.
Regis: Really, that is an interesting strategy.
Kaiba: Yea, having a good strategy is the best way to win.
Tea: Really! I always thought the best way to win was with friends, because you're nothing without your friends!
Pegasus: SHUT UP TEA!!!! NOBODY WANTS YOU TO TALK!!!!!!! *everybody stares at Pegasus*
Yugi: That wasn't nice.
Mai: Ya know Yugi, I think I has a point. Tea only talks about friends, but has she even contributed in any way to anything you guys have ever done? I mean, the things she says can only last so long, then she starts saying it over and over and over again, so it looses all meaning!
Yugi: Tea has done plenty of things, like. *Yugi thinks really hard* Um. I know there is something. *puts on the Thinking Cap*
Regis: While Yugi thinks we should get back to the question.
Kaiba: Yes, and the answer is C. Monaco is the capital of Monaco.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: You got that one right! You have $1,000 and can't leave with less than that!
Kaiba: This is just the beginning.
Regis: Right! But now it's time for a commercial break! When we get back we'll find out whom Mr. Kaiba brought with him to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Italian Commercial Guy: Do you have security issues? Do ya need some one to follow ya around, ta protect ya? Well if ya do then we're right for you. We can have one of our guys follow ya around for a day, a week, a month, or even a year. If ya can pay da price. If ya got money and, um, desire our "services" then just call da family. We'll take care of ya problems real fast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: Now back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Kaiba: Can we get to the questions?
Regis: But don't you want everybody in America to see whom you've brought to New York City to sit in the audience?
Kaiba: What ever. I'm sure everybody already knows whom I brought.
Regis: Really? Why do you say that?
Kaiba: Your question is irrelevant. Can we get back to this useless game?!
Regis: If you think it is useless then why did you come?
Kaiba: For one resin, and that resin is so I can finally beat Yugi Moto!
Yugi: So, you're still mad about those duals, eh? Well, you lost because you did not believe in the heart of the cards. You can not get very far if you do not believe in the heart of the cards because-
Kaiba: Will you shut up!! Only a spiky haired idiot would believe in the heart of the cards!
Tea: Wait a minute! Yugi may have spiky hair, and he may have failed half of his classes last year, but he does believe in the heart of the cards!
Mako: Yet another useless comment from Tea.
Regis: Yea, but that happens almost every time she says something. But back to the shoe! I mean show!
Joey: Hahahahahaaa, he said shoe! That's a classic!
Mako: Will you shut up! You horrible Brooklyn accent is giving me a headache.
Joey: Huh? Wadda ya mean bad Brooklyn accent?
Mako: You know what I mean! You're a Brooklyn wannabe.
Kaiba: Will the two of you be quiet! I'm trying to win and you insolent sniveling isn't helping!
Tea: Yea. What he said!
Pegasus: Will somebody please take that useless girl away!? She is worthless in everyway! Tea is a waste of carbon.
Tea: Hey! That isn't nice!
Regis: That's it! Guards! Take Tea away, permanently! *Four guys dressed in black business suits with metal knuckles take Tea away, permanently* ****The crowd goes wild**
Yugi: Hey! That wasn't nice! And what are you going to do to Tea?
Kaiba: Didn't you hear him. Tea is being taken away, permanently.
Joey: Wait a minute, will we ever see Tea again?
Mako: He said permanently, so probably not.
Regis: Yes, that is the way of all the big studios. We get rid of those who stand in our way. or those who just annoy me.
Kaiba: Will you give me the $2,000 question!
Regis: Of course! Now for the $2,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
Triston: Hey! We never found out whom Kaiba brought to the show!
Mokuba: He brought me! Who else!
Yugi: *under his breath* I didn't see that one coming.
Mokuba: Hey big brother! I know your gonna win the million! You're the best!
Kaiba: Thanks Mokuba.
Regis: So Mokuba is your brother?
Kaiba: Yea.
Regis: Any other family?
Kaiba: No, as I said before our adoptive father, Gozaburo, died of a heart attack. Mokuba is my only family.
Regis: It's so sad when that happens. But now we must get back to the show.
Kaiba: Finally.
Regis: Now for the $2,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
How do you write 99 in Roman numerals?
A. XCCX
B. XCXI
C. XCIX
D. CXIC
Kaiba: That is an easy question. The answer is C.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You got it right! You've just won $2,000! Are you excited?
Kaiba: Not really. I make more money then that in my sleep.
Regis: Yea, I forgot about you business.
Kaiba: Can we get on with this game?
Regis: Of course! Now for the $4,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What does the German word blitzkrieg mean?
A. Sitting War
B. Killing War
C. Laughing War
D. Lightning War
Kaiba: This is a tough question. I don't speak German.
Regis: How do you know it's German?
Kaiba: Well, in history class we talked about WWII and this came up somewhere.
Joey: I know the answer! *giggles like an English schoolgirl* You don't!
Kaiba: I know the answer.
Joey: I don't think you know the answer! And your not man enough to take any chances!
Kaiba: Shut up Joey. You're almost as much of a waste as Tea-
Yugi: That isn't a nice thing to say Kaiba!
Mokuba: Be quiet! My big brother is trying to concentrate!
Kaiba: It's okay Mokuba. I know the answer.
Joey: Then why don't you just say it?
Regis: Don't make any hasty decisions. And remember, you do have all three life lines.
Kaiba: I don't need those. I know the answer, and it's D.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: You took a big risk. And it paid off! You have $4,000!
Kaiba: I told you that I knew the answer.
Mokuba: Yay! You got it right big brother!
Joey: It was just dumb luck.
Mai: More luck then you'll ever have. *Joey looks at Mai with his typically stupid gaze*
Regis: Okay, that was fun but now it is time for another visit from our generous sponsors!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Normal Commercial Guy: Do you need a new car fast? How about a motorcycle? If you do then come on over and we'll set you up with a great deal! We have blue cars, white cars, and even black cars with big, soundproof trunks if you're a businessman! So come on down and visit us as Little Tommy's Car Dealership! At Tommy's we're always ready to strike a good deal!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regis: And now we're back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Mai: Will you stop it with that stupid look? You did it all commercial! *the guys in black suits step from the shadows off stage into a place where Joey can see them*
Joey: Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to offend anybody.
Regis: That is wonderful news! But we need to get back to the show. *the guys in black suits move back to their place back stage*
Regis: Now for the $8,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What's the pen name of Theodor Geisel?
A. Dr. Seuss
B. Mark Twain
C. John Dhani Lennevald
D. Mr. Rogers
Kaiba: This is a hard question. I can narrow it down to two.
Regis: You do have three lifelines waiting to help you.
Kaiba: I think I'll use the 50/50.
Regis: Computer, randomly take away two of the wrong answers leaving one wrong answer and the correct one.
What's the pen name of Theodor Geisel?
A. Dr. Seuss
B. Mark Twain
Kaiba: Well, now I know the answer. Everybody knows that Mark Twain was the pen name of Samuel Clemens. It was that Amber that screwed me up. So it must be A, Dr. Seuss.
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Do you have to say that every time!!
Regis: Yes.
Kaiba: Fine then! Yes it's my final answer!!
Regis: You got it right! You have just won $8,000!
Kaiba: Hurry up already! I have a business to run! I can't waste my precious time here doing this meaningless show. I'm already a multi- millionaire!
Mako: O please, you're here for the same resin that I'm here. We want to play the game and win.
Kaiba: Whatever.
Regis: Okay! Now for the $16,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What is Avagadro's Number?
A. 6.02 * 10^23
B. 6,986,980,431
C. 7.03 * 10^20
D. 75 Billion
Kaiba: That is so easy. The answer is A.
Regis: Do you know another name for Avagadro's Number?
Kaiba: Yea, the Mole.
Regis: You got it and $16,000! Now the next question is very important. It is for $32,000. If you get it right then you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much money. Are you ready?
Kaiba: Yes!
Regis: Okay, here it comes, the $32,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays** On the Electromagnetic Spectrum, which of the following waves has the highest frequency?
A. Radio Waves
B. Visible Light
C. Microwaves
D. Gamma Rays
Joey: The electro-mag-neto-what?
Mai: The Electromagnetic Spectrum. I thought that even a worthless kid like you would know what it is.
Joey: You're just sayin' that cuz I beat ya in Dualist Kingdom.
Mako: No Joey, she isn't. Even I know what the electromagnetic spectrum is. Yugi: Joey, I think that you should just be quiet for this one.
Kaiba: Will you all just shut up! I want to give my answer!
Regis: Now you're sure that you don't want to use any of your lifelines.
Kaiba: Save those for the hard questions. This one is so easy that only a dirty cur wouldn't know the answer.
Joey: Hey!
Kaiba: The answer is D, Gamma Rays.
Regis: Is that your final answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: Are you sure that you don't want to use a lifeline? This is a very important question.
Kaiba: Just tell everybody that I'm right and get on with it!
Regis: Okay, okay, don't hurt a guy that's just trying to help you. **Complete Silence in the Crowd**
Joey: So. Was he right?
Regis: Seto Kaiba, you've just won $32,000. Now you are guaranteed to leave with at least that much money.
Kaiba: I'm gonna leave with the million.
Mokuba: Yea! Go Big Brother!
Regis: Okay, if you have that goal then we'd better take a look at the $64,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
How long did the Hundred Years' War Last?
A. 100 Years
B. 200 Years
C. 115 Years
D. Trick Question, There Was Never A Hundred Years' War
Kaiba: I might have to think about this one.
Yugi: What is there to think about? It says Hundred Years' War, so it must have lasted one hundred years.
Mai: Yea, the name says it all.
Joey: Even I know that the name can't be wrong!
Make: I don't know. The entire trick question thing might be the answer.
Kaiba: You're all wrong! The answer is 115 Years! Don't ask how I know, but I do!
Regis: Well if you aren't entirely sure you do have all those wonderful lifelines.
Kaiba: Leave my lifelines out of this! I don't need them! I know the answer.
Mokuba: Go Big Brother!
Regis: Is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes.
Regis: You took a big risk. After all, it might have been a trick question. And you didn't even go with the name of the war and-
Kaiba: GET ON WITH IT!
Regis: You have just won $64,000!
Mai: But how could that be? It was called the hundred years war so if it didn't last a hundred years.
Yugi: We should have know better than to have judged the war by its title.
Regis: Now time for the $124,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What were the sides of the U.S. fighting ship nicknames Old Ironsides made of?
A. Plastic
B. Wood
C. Iron
D. Steel
Kaiba: B. Final Answer.
Regis: Are you sure? Because if you aren't you still have-
Kaiba: I SWEAR THAT IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY LIFELINES OUT OF THIS THAT I'LL KILL YOU!
Regis: *crouches is fear* Sorry!
Yugi: Kaiba, that wasn't very nice!
Joey: Yea, ya gotta be nice to the host!
Kaiba: Shut up cur!
Joey: What da hell is a cur?
Kaiba: Look it up in a dictionary. O wait, you aren't smart enough to use one of those fancy books.
Mai: Okay, that might have stepped over the line just a little bit.
Yugi: Yea. but what is a cur?
Mako: I don't know.
Pegasus: I know what a cur is. And if I may be so bold as to say so, Joey is one. In fact, Joey is the perfect definition of a cur!
Kaiba: Can we get back to my question!
Regis: Yea, umm. You've just won $124,000.
Yugi: Hey! You can't change the topic just like that!
Mokuba: My big brother can do anything he wants!
Yugi: Stay out of this Mokuba.
Kaiba: You can't talk to my brother like that!
Yugi: Who's gonna stop me?
Kaiba: I will. *Kaiba straps on some metal knuckles*
Regis: Now please. I don't want to have the boys come back and "escort" you both out of the studio. Can we just calm it down a little?
Joey: Hey, what ever happened to Tea?
Regis: Commercial time! When we get back Mr. Seto Kaiba will be going for $250,000!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COMERCIAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* **Clip of Tea in a burlap sack being thrown over Niagara Falls by the guys in black suits** Italian Commercial Guy: Do ya got problems with people? Do ya wanna way to, um, silence them? If ya do then just call da family. We'll take care of ya problems real fast.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*BACK TO THE SHOW*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yugi: Was that Tea?
Regis: On this show we don't ask questions about our sponsors...
Kaiba: Can we get on with this? I have a business to run!
Regis: Okay then, now Mr. Kaiba will go for the $250,000 question!
Kaiba: Finally, it's almost over.
Regis: Now for the $250,000 question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What was the name of Mother Goose's son?
A. Jack
B. William
C. Duke
D. Jim
Kaiba: What kind of a question is that? Only wimps like Yugi and Joey read Mother Goose!
Yugi: Hey! Just because I know the answer doesn't make me a wimp!
Joey: You know the answer! I do too! We read the Mother Goose series in our book club and this came up during a meeting once.
Yugi: SHUT IT JOEY! The book club was supposed to stay between the two of us!
Regis: That was weird and disturbing.
Kaiba: Yea.
Regis: So Mr. Kaiba. are you going to use a lifeline?
Kaiba: Yes! Are you happy now? I'm finally using one of your precious lifelines!
Regis: Yes, I'm ecstatic! Now, which one do you choose? Ask the Audience or Phone a Friend?
Mai: Since he doesn't have any friends he has to ask the audience. *Joey, Yugi, Mako, and Triston chuckle*
Mokuba: My big brother has lots of friends!
Kaiba: Yea, and I think that I'll call one of them. I would like to call Amber Smith.
Regis: And who is this Amber Smith?
Kaiba: Amber is a friend of mine. We took Chemistry class together.
Regis: O, well you've got to trust your lab partner!
Kaiba: Yea. whatever. I never trusted her with chemicals. or acid. or taking down results. or anything else that had even the remotest possibility for her to screw up.
Regis: Okay. Now our good friends Sprint will get Amber on the phone. **Ring** **Ring** **Ring** **Ring**
Amber: Hello!
Regis: Amber! This is Regis Philbin, Host of Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Amber: O My God!!!! I can't believe it! My voice is on TV! This is so cool! I thought that is was weird when Seto asked me to be his phone a friend but I said yes because I thought that my voice would be on TV but then he said that the chances of him actually using this lifeline were slim to nothing and I said that he didn't have to crush my dreams and then he said that-
Regis: SHUT UP! I mean, Seto needs your help on a question. I'll give him 30 seconds to give you the question and the four possible answers.
Amber: Okay!
Regis: Seto, your time starts.Now!
Kaiba: What is the name of Mother Goose's son?
Amber: O MY GOD!, I know this one. It is such a cute little name! If I ever have a son I would name him it if my husband is cool and the kid kinda fits the name and if I'm in a good mood at the time which I probably won't be because it would really really really really hurt having a baby because that's what I've been told so I don't' know if I would ever really want one-
Regis: 5 seconds left.
Kaiba: AMBER! What's the answer!
Amber: O, right! It's Jack!
Kaiba: Bout' time.
Amber: Okay, bye Se-
Regis: And time is up!
Yugi: That was a very interesting conversation.
Kaiba: Shut up. Just shut up.
Yugi: .
Regis: So, are you going to go with what Lea said, or will you use your other lifeline?
Kaiba: I'll go with Amber on this one. She would know because it was a worthless question and only people like Amber and her worthless friends would know worthless things like what the name of Mother Goose's son is.
Yugi: But Amber is one of Tea's friends!
Keith: And Tea was worthless too, so lets get on with this!
Regis: So. is that your Final Answer?
Kaiba: Yes, A, final answer.
Regis: You too a big risk when you went with what Amber said.
Kaiba: I know. She had better have been right.
Regis: Well. That risk paid off! Seto Kaiba, you've just won $25,000!
Kaiba: Ha! That dumb blond finally got something right!
Regis: Right now Seto is only two questions away from the million. And here it is, $500,000 question. **Dramatic Music Plays**
What vowel do all Esperanto nouns end in?
A. A
B. U
C. E
D. O
Kaiba: This is easy. D, final answer!
Regis: Okay, if you say so.
Kaiba: Just give me the last question.
Regis: You seem sure about your answer from the last question.
Kaiba: I know that I'm correct because the word Esperanto is a noun and it ends in an O therefore the answer must be O because Esperanto is a word in the language of Esperanto.
Regis: Is that so.
Kaiba: Just say that I got the question right.
Regis: You've just won $500,000!
Kaiba: About time! Now give me the last question so that I can stop wasting my time on this pointless show.
Regis: Right! Now for the One Million Dollar Question! **Dramatic Music Plays**
What mountain erupted to destroy Pompeii?
A. Mount St. Helens
B. Mount Fuji
C. Mount Vesuvius
D. Mount Kreifels
Yugi: Is that the million-dollar question? It's so easy!
Regis: Well, the questions are selected in a random order. What may be easy for you might be very hard for the person who is in the hot seat.
Kaiba: This was an easy question for me as well. Anybody with a brain should know the answer!
Joey: I don't know the answer.
Kaiba: I'll say it again; anybody with a brain would know the answer.
Yugi: That was uncalled for!
Mai: Well, he does have a point. How the dweeb got this far is beyond me!
Triston: Hey! You don't be dissin' on my buddy.
Mai: O please! Why don't the two of you just get a room!
Joey: I'm too busy with Yugi to do that.
Mako: Okay, that was sick Joey. Almost as bad as that time that you yelled, "Let's mate right now" to Yugi in front of the entire class.
Regis: OKAY, end of that conversation. Your final answer Mr. Kaiba?
Kaiba: C. Final Answer.
Regis: Your ether going to leave the hot seat one million dollars richer or as another person who choked on the final question and left with considerable less.
Kaiba: I know exactly how I'm going to leave.
Regis: Really? I do too. Seto Kaiba, YOU'VE JUST WON ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
**Confetti falls from the ceiling and the crowd cheers wildly*
Mokuba: Way to go big brother! I knew you could do it!
Kaiba: Hahahahahahahha! I've won! Now I'm an even richer president of my own high-tech company!
Regis: Congratulations Mr. Kaiba! *hands Seto a check for one million dollars*
Kaiba: Wonderful! Can I leave now?
Regis: Yes, right out that way! *points to area off stage* That is it for another exciting edition of Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
~*~*~*~*~*~Fade to Black and Show Credits~*~*~*~*~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, some of you may be wondering about the entire Joey-yelling-about- mating-with-Yugi thing. And I have proof that it happened for you unbelievers out there. It happened in an issue of Shogen Jump (I probably murdered the spelling on that one.) that I saw at my friend's house. I bought a copy for myself soon after so that I could use references to it in my fanfics. Sorry that I'm too lazy to dig it out of my room to give you when it was published and the issue number. And sorry for my bad spelling, I have never passed a spelling test, and I worship the spell-check on my computer.