Who We Should Have Worried About All Along
This is based off Oceanbreeze7's story called Cardio. Go read it. Cardio is so much better than this story! I figured that people need more cool and passive-aggressive tony- awesomeness. And did you know that Einstein has an IQ of 160-190, while this guy named William Sidis had an IQ of 225! (Higher than Steven Hawking.)
Why did people always think Tony was defenseless without the suit? They tended to forget that the Mark 3 was about 200 pounds. That's 200 freaking pounds of weight while trying to move like a normal person. People tended to have amazing muscle strength after carrying 200 pounds almost every day. He expected this from the public, but no, SHIELD had to underestimate him too. He was an amazing weapon designer. He could hold a gun! Dearest Daddy made sure of that.
Hi, daddy issues. Haven't seen you in a while. So unhappy to see you again!
Howard hadn't rested until he was a world class shooter- literally – he was on the SHIELD's top ten best shooters. He was even trained by SHIELD, more than most agents from there. When tony was 5, Daddy Dearest gave tony a gun. He literally tied a gun to his hand, and said, "I won't take this off until you learn how to use this." Unluckily for tony, the gun madness that Howard was going into had just started. But even that tends to get overlooked by everybody else. Why? Because of his status as Iron Man. Tony did not mind however. After all, he was used people underestimating him, wasn't he?
People also tended to forget that he was a genius.
But- oh no- this would not happen tonight. For as much as Tony whined about the fitness test that Fury was making him do, he was excited. Just imagine the look on his teammates' faces- especially Natasha's. Ha ha-ha ha ha-ha ha.
But apparently, his kidnappers had different plans.
While he was at a fundraiser for abused children (how ironic, he used to be one), with the rest of the avengers, he was kidnapped by AIM. Wanted to force him to make weapons for them.
Remember how that turned out last time? PTSD had come crawling to him….
But this time, when Tony refused, they brought out the kidnapped avengers. And Hammer came out.
Great. The idiotic (insert bad word choice here) was helping AIM. Tony didn't doubt that he would be failing in this too.
"I don't think you can refuse this time, Stark. For each time you refuse, your precious avengers will be tortured." Hammer sneered. As soon as Hammer said this, Tony tensed. Then he laughed, an insane giggle. "What! What are you laughing about?" Hammer was confused. "It is so easy to defeat others when people underestimate me." Tony said, still giggling. As soon as he said this. Tony snapped the titanium (titanium!) chains that were holding him and delivered a smooth floor kick and swept Hammer's legs to the floor. The goons of AIM came running toward him. Tony laughed again as he took out a knife from seemingly nowhere and stabbed one AIM goon in the heart.
He tossed the knife toward Natasha and Natasha seemed to get the message. She used the knife and cut the ropes of her and the rest of the Avengers. Tony took out a gun and shot the rest of the goons in the head. He called out to them in a seemingly sing-song voice and said to the Avengers, "Well, I freed you, but are you coming or not?" The avengers, who were previously staring at him, stopped staring and snapped back out of their shock. Tony skipped along the AIM hallways, singing, and "La da dee da dum". Then he shot his gun at the AIM guards. Pew-Pew, Pew-Pew. "La da dee da dum". Pew-Pew, Pew-Pew.
When they finally got out of the place where they had been held captive, the Avengers knew now who they should have worried about all along. It wasn't the Hulk, it wasn't the Black Widow. It was Tony Stark, not Iron Man, but Tony Stark.
"It is easier to defeat your enemy when they underestimate you."
"Iron Man- recommended, Tony Stark – not recommended."
For Tony Stark, everybody was the enemy, even the people he cared about.
That is it, folks. I hope you liked this terrible story. Please read/review.