Summary: Just what the title says. 30 facts about Seto Kaiba, the cold, scowling highschooler who runs a whole company by his lonesome, gleaned from hours of studying his character...not really.
Warning! Kplus for a single swear.
Genre: Humor
A/N: I know I've seen this somewhere. A few months ago. I just don't know where. Oh, well. It was still fun! A couple jokes are from Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series which you can find all over You Tube (shameless plug)
Just looking at these 30 facts about our antihero tells us all we need to know about him!
In the proper situation or moment in time, Seto Kaiba will/would...
1. Use cards to defuse life-threatening situations.
2. Wear gravity-defying clothes.
3. Climb up cliffs while carrying a briefcase.
4. Jump out a window while carrying a briefcase.
5. Risk his life to win a card game.
6. Give an old man a heart attack to win a card game.
7. Spend extensive time and effort to find a rare card, then tear it up when he gets it.
8. Value a card game tournament over someone's life.
9. Screw the rules because he has money.
10. Glare continually.
11. Refuse to believe in magic, even when it screws him over.
12. Repeatedly insult the people who repeatedly save him.
13. Put his life in danger by playing a card game against a computer.
14. Laugh maniacally after acquiring a rare card.
15. Stand in awkward-looking poses.
16. Ignore cries for help from the people who repeatedly save him.
17. Get himself and his brother adopted by beating some rich bastard at chess.
18. Value winning a card game over saving the world.
19. Lean and jump out of helicopters.
20. Get his soul sucked away in front of an audience.
21. Throw people to the ground.
22. Rig up a whole card game tournament just to get his hands on some rare cards.
23. Help others when it helps him.
24. Hurl his brother at the open stairs of an ascending blimp.
25. Fly a jet shaped like a dragon.
26. Ignore repeated warnings until it's too late.
27. Haunt someone else's dreams.
28. Sound like Brock from Pokémon.
29. Run a company which seems to only make one thing at a time.
30. Never, EVER, get caught sleeping.