A/N - Quick note to point out that there are spoilers for chapter...um...I'm not sure. If you haven't got to the bit with Solaris (is that her name? something like that) then this will be spoilery for you. You have been warned. Oh, and sorry for the angst.
"What?"
The doctor put his arm on Roy's shoulder.
"I'm afraid so."
As the consultant walked off down the clinical corridor, Roy felt like throwing the stupid book at his head. Things like this didn't happen on his watch. Not to his men. Medicine was wrong; Jean was stronger than this.
A nervous flutter built up in his stomach, which he flattened with a punch to his abdomen that almost took his breath away. He kicked the chair angrily beneath him. This wasn't fair. Jean didn't deserve this punishment, this imprisonment in his own body, this… He couldn't think of the right word. His mind was too busy reeling from this harsh diagnosis.
He stood up, slowly, and prepared to go into Jean's room. He got him into this mess, it was only right that he should face the consequences.
As he walked in, Jean was staring at his legs, as if almost unable to believe that they had betrayed him. He poked his thigh half-heartedly, and sighed.
Roy coughed.
They stared at each other, but the colonel broke the contest first. He glanced at the floor, rubbing his neck.
"Jean –"
"It's alright Colonel. It's not your fault."
Roy looked up. Jean was smiling sadly. He hadn't expected that.
He wanted Jean to be angry at him, to be mad, to never forgive him. It was the least he deserved, at any rate. He didn't want this…this…sympathy, this forgiveness that he was being offered. He wanted to be outcast, to be made to pay for everything that he'd done.
He sat down heavily, and cradled his head in his hands.
Even if Jean forgave him, Roy would never do the same for himself.