Disclaimer: Nopeee. Working on it though.
Pairings: AkuRoku, Demyx?
Summary: Axel needs to learn to control what comes out of his mouth, especially words.
o-o-o
Double Ex (Or the Adventures of Axemyx)
A Demyxalicious oneshot full of sexual innuendo.
o-o-o
"Roxassss..."
"No!
"ROXAS."
"No!
"You can't DO this to me!"
"I can and I am."
Axel stopped following his lover when their bedroom door shut in his face violently. Roxas was seriously pissed. Seriously. In all of their four months living together, Axel had yet to anger the blond. He had a feeling something had to happen soon, because their relationship was starting to get one of those 'feels'. Like it was too perfect or something. But Axel honestly didn't think he deserved thatas a punishment for embarrassing Roxas at his family's house once.
Okay, once so far...
But still, it wasn't even THAT bad. He might have let slip a few things, you know? But nothing that no one didn't already know.
Ma'am, I totally plowed your son last night. And he screamed like a girl. But that was ALL I swear.
He was nervous. That was all. Yes, nervous...
Moving on. Roxas had firmly punched him in the arm, glared, and stormed out of the house. His older brother Sora was laughing the whole time unashamed, while the blond's parents were shocked mute.
Axel had slowly made his way out, finding their car gone. He had to call Demyx and tell the lazy rat bastard ass to come pick him up and take him home, rather than risk going back and asking for a ride. Demyx made snood remarks the whole ride. So obviously Axel was the victim. Obviously.
"C'mon babyyyy, I promise it will never happen again. Never ever my mouth will be duct taped the next dinner and - "
"I'm NEVER letting you out of the house again!"
"It could have been worse, Rox," Axel murmured dejectedly. He almost shuddered at the immediate, harsh response.
"HOW?"
Viciously trying to come up with something better than 'well I could have said what you were wearing and the time it took me to get it off', Axel placed a hand on the door, pawing at it like a lonely puppy. He knew, of course, Roxas wouldn't budge in his decision. When the other boy decided something, it was final.
The pillow and blanket laying haphazardly beside the couch was basically what he would have to call 'Roxas' for the remainder of the week.
No sex.
None.
For a fucking week.
Axel passed out on the couch, whimpering.
This was going to be torture. Roxas was a walking 'Rape me machine'.
-
Day One.
Axel was far from perfect. He had wild, untamed vivid blood red hair, constantly narrowed jade eyes, and a tall, lanky frame. Very good for bending and the like. He wasn't a good student, he wasn't a good friend, but he knew he was at the very least a caring, considerate boyfriend.
All he asked in return was sex. That was all. Roxas could have never given him a present in his life, and yet, he would be fine with that. Why? Because he preferred if Roxas was the present.
This morning when he woke up, a cramp in his neck from their shabby couch and a pain in his side, and absolutely no Roxas in sight, he felt like crying. He got up, glaring at the broken coffee table they hadn't got around to replacing because, well, they didn't have any money to, honestly.
He padded his way into the also empty kitchen, pouting at the note tapped to the frig. He easily recognized his lovers messy cursive and shrugged, reading. 'Had to work. Breakfast is in the microwave, Rox.'
Mehhh.
Roxas couldn't have tacked on a Love at the end? Was he really thatpissed. Axel went to the microwave and blanched. The supposed "breakfast" was an egg with bits of slightly melted cheese and milk over it in a bowl. Ewww. It looked like what happened after that one time when Selphie decided she wanted to try her hand at cooking and used Axel as the taste tester. She hadn't even cooked anything, she just stupidly fed him dog food with peanuts and cheese slices. Totally disgusting. But Roxas wasn't his little sister... grrr. And at least it wasn't green, though probably still uneatable.
"Ahh gawd, gross." He chucked it into the garbage can, glaring.
What the hell was he supposed to do now?
He did possibly the only thing is sex-less brain could think of, and called his best friend. Axel personally wouldn't label Demyx his best friend in the vicinity of others, but when he was alone, and it was his only choice, he caved and admitted it to himself. Why go through all the denial?
This was Demyx. The crazed mullet haired kid who almost single handedly burned down Axel's house in fourth grade after Axel wouldn't share his lunch. Who nearly got himself killed using a toaster -don't ask - and finally, the kid's girlfriend was so weirdherself that Axel honestly preferred to be alone, or to be with Roxas most of the time.
As Axel's slim fingers hauntingly dialed the number, he closed his eyes and prepared. Five, four, three...
"AXELLL. Zommggg, you haven't called me IN FOREVER? Why? Why would you not call me? What is this, a government conspiracy? Okay whatever, so what's up?"
That went better than expected.
Axel grinned a little, putting his free hand into the frig and trying to pull out the milk over the juice. "Hey... yeah. Uhh why did I call you, oh yeah shit, um... Demyx."
"AXEL!" was the happy response. "To run away together and get married? Of course you're the girl though cause - "
"NO," Axel gritted out, cursing when the jug of milk fell on his foot. "Sonofabitch!" One red eyebrow shot up, twitching. "Err, not you. Fuckin' milk."
There was a sigh, and Axel could almost feel Demyx twisting the phone cord. "So like, what did you want?"
Axel kind of shrugged. Why didhe call Demyx? Oh, yeah. "Well, see, Roxas kind of hates me right now... and stuff. But I didn't do anything and I'm food-less and bored and - "
"Dude, it's noon. Did you just wake up?" There was a badly hidden snort. "Hah, already insecure Axel?"
The slam of the phone was Demyx's answer. Axel pffted. Glared. And proceeded to call him right back. "Little shit. Don't mess with me just come over." And then he hung up again. Demyx got the message.
Axel scratched his flat stomach and pivoted, and promptly fell on a banana. "Ahh Fuckkk!"
His head smacked the title with a sickening cracking sound.
Black edged his vision and he passed out.
-
Two hours later a bouncing Demyx kicked the door down to his best friend's house, completely oblivious to the fact that some people don't really like when their doors are in shambles and missing from their homes.
He stepped over a can of spam and shrugged, eyeing certain stains on the carpet. Ewww. "Axel!" he shrieked with a smile, giggling when he found his friend lying in a pool of what looked like blood. "OH MY GAWD!" and then Demyx promptly fainted. What a good friend. And on top of fainting he fell on Axel's cold, dead body.
Or not.
Two jade eyes popped open creepily, a moan escaping Axel's chewed up lips. "What the fuck?" He vaguely registered a weight ontop of him, knew it wasn't Roxas and pushed up. Demyx rolled off of him, unconscious. Axel shakily got up, squinting. He could feel crusty stuff on the back of his head and felt it up, hissing in pain. Dried blood. It was coming back to him now. What the fuck! He had fallen on a banana. A banana. Someone was trying to inconspicuously tell him something. Like, "hey idiot you just fell on a banana and Roxas won't have sex with you cause you're a jackass. Do everyone a favor and go kill yourself."
"Pfft, whatever. Demyx... Dem, get the hell up. DEMYX GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF MY FLOOR." Axel toed him in the side, glowering. The kid was drooling, okay! Ew. Roxas would kill him. Blood AND drool. That was a no-no.
A hand shot out to his leg, clutching it as Demyx slowly got up, shuddering. "You're ALIVEEE!?!" He then pouted. "You called me fat. I am NOT fat skinny twig man."
Axel nodded, his voice lowering as if he was talking to a child, or one Demyx. "Uhh, kinda yeah. Took you long enough to get here. Jeez. You could of helped me up, ass face. I wasn't dead."
"What's got you into such a sour puss this fine morning?" Demyx finally calmed himself, and started raiding the refrigerator. Axel poked him disapprovingly in the stomach.
"I'm not grumpy. Just sex depraved," he sighed dramatically, leaning against a counter. "You know how it is when Yuffie gets pissed. Just like Roxas. Except meaner."
Demyx nodded, taking a bite out of a chunk of fudge. "Mmhmm. PMS. But Rox is a guy. What did you do this time, idiot?"
Axel spluttered indignantly. "Pfft, like, totally nothing. The kid went crazy when we were at his parents house. Cause he made me meet them and crap since we've been living together for a while and all. And uhh," Axel blushed, looking at the floor, "y'know how I get nervous... I start rambling about..."
Demyx smirked. "Yup."
The red head threw his hands up, shaking his head. "Okay so I said some things, but Roxas already knew that! Jeez, some sympathy on my part is all I'm asking for, gawd. Not fair man. And seriously, a WEEK? How can he survive anymore than me? I don't see that happening and if he thinks he can just go and CHEAT on me - oh my gawd he wouldn't -"
"AXEL!" Honestly Demyx would never call Axel his best friend in public. The guy was insane. "Roxas would never cheat on you." He stopped to smile, his teeth perfect rows of pearly white. Axel never trusted that smile. "We can spy on him. It'll take your mind away from your precious butt sex."
Axel considered this, and frowned. "I don't even want to think about what he'd do if he found out I was stalk - er spying on him." He grinned evilly. "So I won't. Let's go."
-
The end result was Axel coming home with a disfigured scar, a bruise the size of a golf ball and a tumor on his eye. Roxas had totally thrown down when his 'Axel - Senses' spotted the red head and his best friend hiding in a bush inside of the mall, across from the store he worked in. They weren't very conspicuous, as Axel had suddenly been pushed out of the overly large plant, and had scrambled to get back in, none too softly.
When his lunch break rolled around, Roxas took the Windex and got them in the eyes with just one shot, beat the living hell out of his boyfriend, and scarred Demyx so bad he wet himself.
"This better be the last time you spy on me you bastard!"
Roxas also took the liberty of banning Demyx from their house, just for good measure.
Day Two.
There basically was no "Day Two" because Axel decided to get piss drunk, and passed out, wallowing in his own misery.
-
Day Three.
Repeat of Day Two. Hah. Axel's new name was drunkie. The Demyx has spoken.
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Day Four.
Demyx grinned and hopped on the counter, catching a stray apple Axel threw at him. They had easily decided to ignore Roxax's ban.
"So how's life, buddy?" he spoke softly, analyzing the rings around the red head's usually vibrant eyes. "I guess not too well, huh? I can see you're falling apart... it's kind of weird. You're like one of those sex - alcoholics you know! Like, you should go to sex addicts anonymous. That would be sooo cool. I would go too and - "
"DEMYX!" Axel shouted, turning to him with a pleading, if not deadly expression. "I am REALLY not in the mood for your rants, okay?"
Sulkily eating his apple, Demyx nodded, a large chunk stuffed in his teeth. "Yeah yeah, so what's up?" He licked his lips and noticed Axel's eyes trained on his mouth. He shuddered, frowning. "Ewww no, I'm not going to have sex with you Axel."
The pyro scowled disapprovingly. "Dude, I knowthat. I don't want that, I just... just... I WANT MY ROXAS!"
Demyx shrugged, chucking the half eaten fruit into the garbage can. "So make him crack. He's probably only holding out to teach you, like, a lesson or something. Romance him when he comes home from school."
Axel stuck his bottom lip out, standing akimbo with a thoughtful expression. "Ahh... romance... perhaps. Demyx my good man, you may have ended this curse!"
Demyx smiled like he won the special Olympics, and hopped up, stretching out his limbs. "I think I should go now. Let you work out your diabolical scheme and all. Yeah?"
A shrug and Axel was in the living room, rummaging through old issues of Seventeen. Cause he was totally hardcore and they were definitely Roxas's. "Yeah yeah go already. Moocher."
When he heard a soft goodbye and the door close, Axel grinned and threw the 'zines down, ripping off his shirt. Roxas would be home in half an hour and he definitely had to snazz the place up with his dripping manly charm and suave. And then, sex would and should follow.
So he made their bed after taking a crow bar to the bolted door, and dusted. He drew the bath water, oh yeah, and put on his lucky pair of pajamas. Axel even managed to make a sandwich for his love, all by his self. Roxas would be sticking off him like glue. Oh baby!
So when Axel heard a sharp slam, recognized as the front door, and soft footsteps, he bit his lip to hide a shit eating grin. Time for some hot, steamy sex. Naked Roxas. Uke Roxas.
Well, it kind of didn't happen anything like Axel had imagined. First, he was laying in what looked like a sexy position, waiting for his lover, and yet, the stubborn child of Satan never came in. Axel heard the TV blazing from the living room. What the faak! He reluctantly got up, glaring while he peaked into the other room.
Roxas was sitting on his ass, innocently eating the sandwich and watching a Rin and Stimpy marathon.
Axel's hard on wilted.
FUCKER!
-
Day Five
It was Roxas's day off, and usually their date night. Axel barely even spoke to the little brat all week.
But oh well, it wasn't like he had... blue balls or anything. Nah.
Axel slinked behind the couch which held his prey, readingof all things at a time like this. Hah. Reading. Axel only read when he didn't have sex, so that was never. But this week he seemed to get through about five books, all being Harry Potter...
Strange. Those Weasely's were orgasm on a stick.
But anywhoo, Axel leaned casually across the couch, eyeing Roxas hungrily. "So... tonight. Any plans you sweet thang?" Axel grinned cheesily and blew a kiss. Roxas squinted and pushed the offending feet off his lap. Ew. Feet.
Roxas shook his head, blond spikes whipping around his face adorably. Axel wanted to pin him down and do the nasty. Just a little.
"Hey Roxy," he muttered, eyes skyward. The red head tucked his arm behind him, relaxing. "Do you have a map?"
This time, two pools of blue stared him down, trying to figure out his game. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"
Axel sat up a little. "I'm lost in your eyes baby," he whispered silkily, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He didn't miss Roxas following it.
A cute blush spread over high cheek bones, and Axel secretly whooped for joy. That was too good. Roxas leaned into him, pursing his mouth. "You're lame."
"But kid, I think you made me trip earlier, 'cause I totally just fell in love with you." Axel giggled internally at that one. Roxas seemed to see through it too, because he glared and stood, stalking off to their room. Damn.
"It was worth a shot," Axel shrugged, getting out the lotion.
-
Day Six.
A small smile slowly warped Roxas's plump lips into something dastardly. His pink tongue darted out to lick excess ice cream off of the cone, eyes trained on Axel's panicking ones.
The red head took deep deliberate breaths to calm his pounding heart. His hand started shaking, his knee bumping against the table. Damn that little brat, damn him to HELL! Roxas was thoroughly enjoying torturing him like this, to the point that Axel knew he was going to have a fucking heart attack. Just looking at the boy suck sticky trails of ice cream into that tight, hot mouth...
Ahhhhh...!
Why did Axel agree to this? Because he had barely been able to touch Roxas, so when the kid decided he wanted ice cream, Axel was all too willing to treat him.
The pyro was so ready to just smack the Sea Salt crap out of Roxas's hand and pounce on him. So very ready.
"Roxas, can we please leave now?!" This is fucking torture, that sick little bitch.
Oh my gawd, Roxas just deep throated the frozen treat.
The stick was clean when it came out of those cherry colored lips, Roxas swallowing with a tiny gasp of pleasure. Christ all mighty strike him DOWN.
But nothing happened. Nothing. Roxas got up, frowning at the obviously uncomfortable, obviously arousedAxel. Roxas shrugged. "Lets go, I'm done."
Axel tried desperately to stop the flow of blood from his nose and to his pants.
Day Seven.
It all started in the morning.
He had come out of the shower, towel slipping down, and Roxas was at the bed, generously making it up. They stopped and stared at each other, and then Roxas jumped him, legs easily wrapping around his waist, greedy hands throwing his towel down.
And that brought them to now.
Axel hissed as he ripped open the blond's shirt, teeth immediately clamping down on a pert nipple. Roxas had never felt this good before. It was like their first time all over again, fresh and new and delicious in everything they did. Oh god did the boy taste good, and those moans. Completely lewd but they were coming from a soft, pliant mouth. Axel reached up and plundered the mouth, groaning as loud as he could when Roxas's hands weaved through his hair, pressing their bodies harder together.
"Nuh... Axel," Roxas whispered, arching finely into the red head's clenching hands. Axel started thrusting his hips into the other boy's, going totally wild at the irresistible sensations he was creating. Axel's nimble fingers went to his pants, hurriedly pushing them off and hiking Roxas's legs up. He was so, so hard that it fucking hurt.
Roxas let out a breathy moan when something prodded at his entrance. He looked down blankly. His shorts and boxers were laying in a pile beside the bed, though his shirt was only half on. Axel was poised and ready to go. He laid back and spread his legs wider, invitingly. Axel, of course, took the invitation and began his plunge into the blond's body.
The pyro stopped when he was completely in, and shook all over. This was so good, so so good, oh how goooood. "Roxas," he hissed, clenching his jaw as his hips pounded the boy into the bed, lust building in the pit of his stomach.
Roxas screamed, finger nails shredding the skin of Axel's back, but like Axel actually cared. It almost felt good, kind of kinky. He slowed his thrusts a little, going for long, steady motions.
Roxas didn't complain.
And after Axel had collapsed, panting and sated, tired and just a little hungry, Roxas had opened his arms and started giggling.
"That was pretty damn amazing."
Axel squeaked a yes.
The blond sat up, positioning Axel's head in his lap. "Y'know, I read somewhere that if you didn't do it for a while, and resisted temptation, the sex would be ten times better. Hmm."
Axel wasn't lying. Roxas indeed subscribed to Seventeen.
And again, Axel squeaked, in question this time.
Roxas shrugged. "I wanted to try it, and yes this was definitely crazy good. But..." He blushed slightly, kissing Axel's forehead. "I missed you."
"That was why you ignored me for the week? You acted like it was nothing. I was going insane, you know," Axel hissed through clenched teeth, shaking his head.
"Not entirely, you brought most of it on yourself. But I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone."
"'M not a bird..."
Roxas rolled his eyes. "Go to sleep, idiot," he muttered affectionately.
Axel smiled against the boy's collar bone, giving it a lick before he indeed succumbed to sleep.
The two missed one Mohawked boy, as he stepped down the ladder, satisfied. "Mwhaha," he whispered to himself creepily. "My work here is done."
"What did you actually do to help them?" Yuffie called from the ground. Demyx pouted at her.
"I got Roxas the subscription to Seventeen for his birthday."
o-o-o
End.
Long... -is dead-. I love love LOVE Demyx. At first I was like, wtf is wrong with that whiny ass guy? And ewww he's got a mullet. I know I know, but now it's love in its purest form I believe. Ahhh.
I hoped you likedddd. Those pick ups lines are totally credited to my friend Johnathan, he randomly uses them on me when we're at weird places. Ah. Fun.
Review please. Feed me your loveeee.