Hey people! This is my first fic I've posted, so no flames, ok? I'm staying home from school today because I have a sinus infection (yay me), so I can spend all day typing this for y'all (yay you!). So R&R, K?
-Wendi (Torina Archelda)
Ch. 1: It's Torture Time!
Wendi: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Torture Channel! Today our special guests are the cast of Inuyasha!
*Inuyasha cast walks in*
Wendi: Give them a round of applause, audience!
*clapping*
Wendi: Now, let's find out who we're going to torture today! Naraku, come on down!
Naraku: *gulps* *walks to center stage* Yes?
Wendi: You are going to help me think of cruel and unusual punishments for today's torturee, ok?
Naraku: *relieved sigh* *hopefully* So you aren't going to torture me?
Wendi: Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I hate you with a passion. You are a slimy, cowardly, evil little thing from Hell (or worse), and I will greatly enjoy torturing you and then ripping you apart, piece by piece, while you writhe in pain. But that isn't for today's show.
All: 0_0
Naraku: *gulps* Umm… Not to rush my impending death, but why?
Wendi: Cuz there is someone here I hate even more than you!
All: 0_0 *backs up against the wall in fear*
Wendi: Today's torturee will be… Drum roll please…
*drum roll sounds out of nowhere*
Wendi: Kikyo! Come sit in the torture chair!
Kikyo: *pales* *walks to chair and sits down* Why me?
Wendi: Oh, let's see… *pauses a moment in mock thought* You shot Inuyasha to the Goshinboku, you gave Naraku Kagome's jewel shards (who gives a rat's behind about your good intentions), you keep trying to kill Kagome, you never loved Inuyasha for who he was, only what he could become, you want to take Inuyasha to Hell with you for a crime you know perfectly well he didn't commit, and you defeat the purpose of Inuyasha/Kagome fluff altogether. Good enough for you?
All: 0_0
Wendi: ^_^ Yay! So let's get on with torturing-
*ding* *ding* *ding*
Wendi: Oops, sorry guys, that's all the time we have for today. Join me to torture Kikyo, next time on the Torture Channel!
A/N:
Wendi: Okay, listen up reviewers. I know no one reads these, but this is important, ok? I need ideas on how to torture Kikyo (and Naraku later on, of course). Also, I'm going to do a Truth or Dare chappie (dunno who made up that word, but I love it! lol!) later on, and I need to know which you like best:
1) Sesshomaru has to admit his feelings to Rin (truth)
2) Sesshomaru has to kiss Rin (dare) (Rin will be MUCH older)
3) Inuyasha has to admit his feelings to Kagome (truth)
4) Inuyasha kisses Kagome (doesn't even have to be a dare if you pick #3, it will happen anyway. I'm a fluff-o-maniac, but this is a comedy fic, so I'll keep it to a minimum. I'm gonna post other waffy fics really soon, though, so keep an eye out!
5) Miroku has to go a whole day without… well… you know… acting like Miroku. (Warning: MAJOR waffiness could result from this. Since he can't be a hentai for a day, Sango might actually admit she likes him… I might post that as a separate 1-shot, though, cuz this isn't supposed to be a romance fic (probably the only non-romance fic I'll EVER post, unless this one is really popular and people want more. But I stink at writing non-fluffy stuff (and sometimes I stink at writing sappy stuff, too), so I doubt it. But this WILL be a long fic.)
6) ALL OF THE ABOVE!
Hint: If you chose #6, you rock! Cuz I was gonna do that anyway. But vote for which you want first, ok? And don't forget the Kikyo and Naraku torturing ideas! BTW, this is something I thought of while discussing Kikyo with hypergirl15, the best couple ever is: (well, maybe not the BEST, but at least they'd be gone…) Kikyo and Hojo (don't like him much, either. But I won't torture him unless someone gives me a REALLY good idea for him (hint, hint)) go to Hell together, and they take Jaken (must torture for being so stupid and annoying! I felt like strangling Sesshomaru for bringing Jaken back with the Tenseiga when Kaijinbo killed him with Tokijin (Kaijinbo's Evil Sword, in case you were wondering. Episode 47 or so…) Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?) Kikyou and Hojo go to Hell and take Jaken along with the as a pet! Yay! The walking clay pot, the stupid, clueless (oooh… That reminded me of someone else to torture… But more on that in a sec.), dorky one, and the annoying, idiotic, green one banished to Hell forever!
C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E! And as for the other clueless one to torture… MUST HURT KOUGA! He is such a stupid idiot! How can he not see that Kagome loves Inuyasha, and that even if she didn't she wouldn't love him? Can you spell idiot?
Kouga: Hai. I-D-I-O-T.
Wendi: Good job! You just spelled your name!
Kouga: … *crickets chirping* … Hey!
Wendi: *sweatdrop* Wow. He just got that I was insulting him?
Kouga: Who let that cricket in?
Wendi: *falls anime style* Okay, Kouga, THIS is the incident I will have you recall when you ask why I'm torturing you… Ja ne, reviewers! Review!