AN - This was written prior to the episode The Real Paul Anka. Reviews are still appreciated.

Momentary Whim

"I'm happy you're here."

"So am I," you return as he leans in to kiss you.

The first time you kissed there had been a sense of wonder and even danger; there was none of that this time. Yes it was still nice. There was still that tingle that let you know the attraction had been dormant, not gone. Even after all this time.

But instead of bells or birds, or even that muddled buzzing that accompanied the head swim of the perfect kiss, your mind lurches through all the accusations you've hurled at Logan recently. It races through those then settles in on the pain you had gone through when finding out what he had done. Who all he had done it with. The humiliation of how you had found out.

You pull immediately, as if burned, fingers flying to your lips. You know if, when, he finds out it will hurt just as much, if not more.

"What?" Asks Jess, confusion apparent.

"I…I…I," you start, words not coming to you, your brain not seeming to be able to form a coherent thought to send to your mouth.

"Rory?" He begins as he leans in again.

"No," you mumble, as your brain finally seems to begin to function, your hands coming up to push against his chest.

"No," you begin again, starting to feel surer. "I can't do this, I shouldn't have…"

"Rory, you know we belong…"

"No! Not anymore." You assert, hands flailing a bit trying to find a place to rest.

"I know you didn't like him, and I know you think he's wrong for me, but I'm with Logan. I want to be with Logan. I love Logan. And he loves me."

"Rory, come on." He cajoles, "you know…"

"No, like I said, not anymore."

"Then why did you come?" He asks you can feel the frustration building in him. "You knew what I would think."

"Yes I did, and I should have been clear from the start, but I don't think I even was myself till you kissed me just now. We…me and Logan, we've been through a lot lately. I'm not getting into it; it's not your business. But we've gone through a lot. And I think I came here to test myself."

"So you're just using me?" He interrupts. His frustration beginning to flash toward anger.

"No…yes…maybe." Your confusion obvious as you attempt to answer.

"I didn't come here for this," you start again, then revise deciding to try to be as honest as possible, something you hadn't done with Logan recently, which is part of why you're here at all; "or maybe I did. I told myself I was coming because I was proud of you, and that I'm happy for you. Which are both true. I am happy for you. I'm proud of you too. You've accomplished so much, your hopes and dreams we used to talk about, they're right here. This shop is wonderful.

"But I also think I knew if I came something like this would happen. A part of me wanted it to. Because I was always the one chasing after you. I've always been the one left with all the unanswered questions. And I think I felt like I had a right to be the one got to set the terms for once."

"Well I'm so glad you got to set your terms," he replies voice laced with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you. I am proud of you." You begin trying to defend yourself. "I just…"

"You know what Rory," he cuts you off, "keep your accolades, I don't need them. I think you should leave. Go back to your new life, with your rich boyfriend."

You want to say something, defend yourself, make him understand. But you also realize there is no explanation that will make any sense. Just like when he had shown up at the Firelight Festival, told you he loved you and then drove off. Sometimes you can't explain.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper as you turn and accede to his wishes.

FIN