PLAY BEGINS IN ARTEMIS'S STUDY IN FOWL MANOR.
SCENE ONE
Artemis: Yes! I am almost finished building my Molecular Structure Disrupter! I will be able to change the molecular structure of anything I please.
Butler: Does that mean you can change this chair into a lollipop?
Artemis: (incredulous look) Is that a joke?
Butler: Yes.
Artemis: Should I answer you anyway?
Butler: If you must.
Artemis: In that case, yes. If I wanted to destroy that lovely piece of furniture and turn it into that horrid piece of candy-
Butler: You really don't like lollipops, do you?
Artemis: (glares at Butler)
SCENE TWO
THE GROUNDS OF FOWL MANOR
Child Dressed as Ghost (hereby known as Ghost): Should we try that place?
Child Dressed as Witch (hereby known as Witch): Uh...I don't think so. Rumor has it a bunch of vampires live there.
Child Dressed as Goblin (hereby known as Goblin): There are no such things as vampire, you baby.
Witch: Hey!
Ghost: Are you afwaid?
Witch: No!
Goblin: Prove it.
Witch: Fine! Let's go.
SCENE THREE
THE MAIN HALL OF FOWL MANOR
Artemis: We are almost ready to begin my first test!
Butler: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Artemis: Well, there is a 99.9999999999% chance that we will explode and die, but I'll take those odds.
Butler: (eyes widen) Artemis? I don't think...
Artemis: IGNITION! (Artemis turns on his machine that is pointed at a fish in a fish bowl. The fish turns into a lollipop)
Butler: (gasps) WHOA! Amazing! (Butler hyperventilates and then faints in awe)
Artemis: Butler? BUTLER?! Hm. I think my superior greatness was too much for him.
CUE KNOCK ON DOOR
THE THREE CHILDREN IN COSTUMES ARE STANDING BEHIND DOOR
Artemis: Oh, no. I hope that isn't Holly. She might have found out about my Molecular Structure Disrupter and is here to confiscate it! (opens door and says suspiciously:) Holly?
Witch, Ghost, and Goblin: Trick or treat!
Artemis: What?
Witch: (gasps and puts hand on heart) You look like a vampire!
Artemis: I-
Goblin: He really does!
Ghost: No he doesn't. He's just a creepy looking teenager.
Artemis: I resent that!
Goblin: Of course you do. Vampires resent everything except creepiness and blood.
Artemis: But-
Witch: Please don't bite us, vampire!
Artemis: I'm not-
Witch: (hysterically) We're all going to die!
Goblin: No, we're not! I have this wooden stake! (picks up stick from ground) Stand back, evil vampire!
Artemis: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (picks up Molecular Structure Disrupter and points it at three children) Stand back!
Witch: See? He's going to kill us with his mad vampire technology!
Artemis: (accidentally fires Molecular Structure Disrupter) NOOOOOOOOOO!
Witch, Goblin, and Ghost: AAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRGGGG! (turn into lollipops)
Artemis: (stares at three lollipops in shock and his mouth open for a couple of seconds, then he speaks) Holly is going to kill me.