A small drabble which turned into a crazy one shot. Supposed to be comedy, but taken out of context, could be considered tragedy. Based off when Libra once picked something up on my latest Awakening playthrough.
Libra prayed to Naga as he struck down the plegian archer, preventing him from shooting down a passing Sumia. As he prepared to move onwards, he stepped on something. He blinked "What's this?" looking down, a joyful expression came to his face as he bent down to pick up the object "Oh, Naga be praised!" he cried out in glee. Gaius, whom he had been paired with by Robin for the battle, turned around to see what his companion was so happy about. Looking at the object, Gaius sweatdropped.
"Libra, that's a stick." He said blankly. Libra just smiled happily.
"Anything from Naga is a gift to be honoured!" and with a happy hum he moved onto the next foe, leaving a dumbfounded Gaius standing there.
"It's just a stick…"
It was a few days later, and the Ylissean military were preparing for the final attack on King Gangrel's castle. Chrom and Robin were in the main tent, discussing strategy, when Gaius quickly ran in. Raising a brow, Chrom looked at the orange haired man.
"Gaius, what is the matter?" Gaius shuffled awkwardly as he unwrapped a lollipop. Sticking it in his mouth, he visibly relaxed, before looking at the two nervously.
"It's Libra. Ever since that last battle he's been acting…odd." Robin raised a brow.
"In what way?" the tactician inquired. Gaius grimaced.
"Perhaps you should look outside." Looking at each other, they shrugged and poked their heads outside the tent. What they saw was…disturbing to say the least.
"-and that was the first time I wore woman's clothing." The prince and tactician looked on with bewildered expressions as Libra conversed…with a tree branch. What was even stranger was that the branch wore a waistcoat and a top hat (which somehow fit perfectly) and was holding a cup of tea (which had clearly been nailed onto the wood). "So tell me a bit about yourself." Staring at the stick for a bit, he nodded. "I see, how interesting." As one, the two onlookers retreated back into the tent, both with disturbed expressions on their faces. Turning back to the grim looking Gaius, Robin said one thing.
"The fuck?"
It was after the war with Plegia. The mad king was dead, the prince was married, and all was well with the world.
Nobody expected another wedding so soon.
And no one expected the groom to be a stick.
As the Shepard's tried to hold an intervention with the clearly delusional monk, Libra punched Vaike in the face, kicked Ricken and ran away clutching the stick while yelling "You'll never understand our love!"
It doesn't need to be said that no one ever saw Libra again.
Libra and Stick
Many an unfortunate child found joy in the small orphanage Libra and his husband built after the war. Stick was a natural father to the children, or it would be, if it wasn't a fucking stick.
That went mental. It started off well, but then my mind when nuts. Hopefully it made you chuckle like I did when writing it.