A/N: This is slightly AU, just if Quinn hadn't joined Cheerios again in the 2nd season.
Disclaimer: Not here...
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. She counts her life in chapters of ten.
One
When she's very young, before she even starts school, her brother dies. She's not sure how or why at the time. One moment he's there, playing hide-and-go-seek with her, reading to her, watching TV with her... and then he's gone. She wakes up one morning and there's no one home. Or, she thought there was no one home. She cries at the thought of it and her neighbor- the nice old one who smells of cats- comes rushing in, holding her and shushing her. She tells her Mommy and Daddy and Randy went to the hospital, because Randy is sick. But besides that, her neighbor tells her nothing, and the next time Quinn sees her parents Randy is missing and they won't tell her anything, except that Randy isn't here any more.
She remembers at his funeral, standing and letting people she doesn't even know hug her and kiss her head and saying they're sorry, even though she's not sure what they're all sorry for. They didn't do anything. She remembers looking for her brother, still unsure of where he went, before deciding her parents meant he would be away for a long, long while, and he wouldn't be back for many years. She cries a bit at the thought of that, but doesn't dwell on it, because he'll be coming back some day, she's sure of it.
Sometimes people will ask her parents why she seems so happy, so normal, so soon after her brother's death. Her parents say she was too young to understand death, but she understands death full well. She just doesn't understand life.
Two
She's five when she finally realizes what happened to Randy.
It's in school, during recess. Ali McRather is telling everyone about her Grandma's funeral, and soon Quinn's noticing how similar it was to that party her parents had and...
Oh.
It wasn't a party after all, was it?
It was a funeral.
Randy's funeral.
She rushes off the playground in tears, while all her schoolmates stare after her. She runs and runs and runs, all the way through the school to her classroom. Her teacher isn't there, and she finds herself all alone as she succumbs to tears and shock.
(She's sent home early that day, and is angry at her parents for months after for lying to her)
Three
When she's seven and starts first grade, she fits in fine. She's nice and pretty and has lots of friends, all of whom look up to her. Her mother is proud ("Popularity is key throughout your school career," She says), and her Daddy would do anything for his little girl.
One day, they go around and talk about their families. All of the other girls and boys blabber on about how annoying their siblings are, and when it's Quinn's turn, she can't bring herself to speak. Instead she asks to go to the bathroom and hides in a stall for the rest of the day, until Lucy Panther (Quinn can tell it's her because of the hideous orange socks she's been wearing all day.) walks into the bathroom and announces that school is over.
It only bothers her a little no one came to check up on her.
Four
When she starts fourth grade, she can tell there's a change in the air.
People who used to call them her friends will ignore her in the halls. No one wants to be her partner for projects anymore. And suddenly, boys are coming up to her and making faces, yelling "Lucy Caboosey" as the other popular girls snicker.
Suddenly, she's a loser.
She tires so hard to fit in, to stay the popular girl she was in years past, but no one wants her anymore. Not even teachers, who used to love her, like her anymore. Instead of laughing at her jokes in class, they roll their eyes and move on to someone else. It's then she realizes how important outside appearance is to people.
No one likes her because she's ugly.
No one cares because she's chubby.
And who wants to be friends with the chubby, ugly, unpopular girl?
Five
By middle school, Quinn is aware of her mother's aloofness towards her popularity downfall. It seems that her mother is unfamiliar with unpopularity, and doesn't exactly adore her daughter as much as she used to.
When Quinn comes home from school in tears, her mothers only gives her a tight smile and sighs. "Oh, Lucy," She'll murmur, hugging her daughter close.
She doesn't say it, but they can both hear the unspoken words; "Why can't you be popular?"
Six
The day her father announces they're moving, Quinn can't decide if it's the best or worst day of her life.
For one, it's a chance to start new. She can fix the way she looks and get into sports and become popular again. She can enter Lima, Ohio pretty and perfect.
But when she figures out the way she'd have to go, she can't help but feel guilty. After all, changing her appearance like that is a sin in her eyes. It would be like saying she hated the way God made her.
She ends up going through with it when her father gets a raise. She's surprised her parents let her, after all, they're more religious than her.
In the meantime, she starts using Proactive and doing gymnastics, and when her nose job is done she looks into the mirror and can smile back at her reflection.
However, her mother doesn't seem quite content with it yet.
"Would you like to dye your hair blonde, Lucy? I think it would look nice..."
So to please her mother she dyes her hair blonde, and starts calling herself Quinn instead of Lucy.
Her parents are pleased, but she isn't still.
Seven
She later decides that the day her father announced she was moving wasn't the best day of her life, the day she makes the Cheerios is.
On the first practice, Sue approaches her and pats her on the shoulder.
"You've got that something, kid. Keep with it and you might just end up being head cheerleader someday..."
Eight
She's popular, so popular now. She's got the the Quarterback (a.k.a. the most popular guy in school) attached to her by the hip, she's head Cheerio, and the halls part like the Red Sea for her. She's the it girl.
She pretty, and popular, and perfect, just like everyone always wanted.
But does she want it?
She starts to slip away from herself, doing things she never thought she'd do before. She starts drowning kids in slushies and taunting kids like she used to be.
She laughs as she slushies Rachel Berry, and tries not to think about how much Rachel reminds her of herself.
Nine
When she finds out she's pregnant, her first instinct is to run. Run far, far away until she can outrun this brat in her and all the things that caused it. Run until she's safe. Run until she's happy.
She made the biggest mistake of her life, and she knows it. And for nine months she's constantly reminded, going back to becoming the least popular girl and and having everyone ignore her.
"Having a bad reputation is better than having no reputation at all."
The summer after she gives birth, she becomes depressed. She's never happy, and sometimes wishes she could just die.
Post-partum depression, the doctors call it.
Quinn calls it grief.
Ten
She can't even begin to say how much her life has changed- for the worst.
She's unpopular. Her parents hate her. And she lost her boyfriend to Rachel Berry. Berry, of all people.
Her life sucks, her life sucks, her life sucks.
It plays in a loop in her head, until she can't take it anymore.
There's only ten chapters to her life, and they're all already written and done with. There is no chapter eleven.
So she takes a deep breath and pulls the trigger.
Goodbye, world.
Hello, Randy.
A/N: ... Ahh, angsty! This is... Well, I'm not quite sure. Another product of my imagination.
I do feel like Glee hasn't gone into Quinn as much as they should. I feel like there's this whole story on her that's just waiting to be told.
~Q