Second Chances are rare, a primeval fanfic

Summary: Second chances are rare. Connor/Stephen, slight Connor/Caroline, slight Connor/Abby, slight Cutter/Jenny, slight Cutter/Lester (barely hinted)

Disclaimer: Nope dont own.

A/N- spoilers for the end of season two...and events leading up to it. Nothing too major, but if you havent seen the last few episodes of season two it does reveal some key plot lines! Just so you know!

-Because I was not satisfied with how season 2 ended.

It comes as no surprise when he suddenly discovers himself noticing Abby in more intimate ways; after all, she is beautiful and funny and can take care of herself. But then again, he has no idea what to do with this new information. It's not like he has many friends outside of work that he can ask; so instead he turns to Stephen, his sort of friend. Stephen watches him surprised apparently that Connor is asking him on advice from a potential rival. The blonde man ends up shrugging and they spend the next two hours talking; only the first half an hour about Abby.

He's working up the courage to ask Abby out. Right now he's testing the waters, trying to figure out if Abby likes him back. This is startling hard to do considering they live together. Connor has contemplated asking Cutter for advice on the matter; he was married after all. Then Connor watches the way Cutter watches Jenny and does nothing and maybe reconsiders. Instead he finds himself waiting for Stephen in front of his locker one day after work. The blonde man takes one look at him and then suggests that they go grab some drinks and maybe a bite to eat. Connor agrees easily thinking that maybe he'll get some good advice and maybe this'll place him and Stephen on the right track to being proper friends.

So Abby had not realized that the anonymous flowers left at her locker were from him. He had decided that just coming out and asking her was not the way to go about it, so what better way than an anonymous symbol of his feelings? The plan backfired in a way that Connor had not foretold however, when she had somehow come to the conclusion that they were from some guy named Jeff who apparently had been flirting with her for weeks. Connor had been flirting with her for weeks. Stephen finds him sitting outside on a bench, staring morosely at the ground. Stephen tells him that there's a new flick playing in town. Lots of gore and violence- perfect to get his mind off of Abby. He agrees, already feeling better than he had all day.

Monday finds him back at work, more determined than ever to finally talk to Abby. He has to be a man about it, that's all. He's nearly worked up the courage when an anomaly is detected and they're off. For some strange reason, Cutter decides that he should not be allowed near any weaponry, so he gets sent off with Stephen and Jenny while Abby and Cutter head off in the opposite direction. He pauses a moment to wish them luck and to tell Abby to be careful, but she just rolls her eyes and tells him to be careful and not to worry about her. Connor wants to say that he can't help it, instead he runs to catch up to Stephen and Jenny as they set off at a brisk pace. Everything is fairly uneventful until they reach the site of a mauled campground. Connor comes very close to losing his lunch at the sight of all the blood and the campers lying still on the ground. Someone places a comforting hand on his arm, gently turning him away from the sight. He casts a grateful glance at Stephen seeing the worry on his face. Behind him he can hear Jenny losing whatever she ate in the bushes. Then they're attacked.

Connor spends the next few hours pacing panicked outside the infirmary. No one will tell him anything. Not even Abby's presence or her offer that they should head home and wait for news is calming him. Cutter comes close to ordering him home at one point, but the look on his face clearly says that he will find someway to handcuff himself to a chair if need be. They leave him alone after that. The creature- something large and furry and with claws had attacked them, catching them all off guard. Except, Stephen had been the one to take the brunt of its fury. Connor had never been good with guns before, but when the blonde had fallen with a blood chilling scream, he had hit the mark every time. He hadn't stopped until Jenny had made her way over to him and the gun was out of bullets and the creature was dead. The rest is a blur.

Connor glances up wearily as finally a doctor comes out and tells him that Stephen is out of the woods, he'll pull through. If Connor wants to go in and see him, he can, however the blonde man is unconscious at the moment. He knows he should phone Abby and Jenny and Cutter to tell them the good news- instead he stands and heads into the room. An hour later he looks up to find Cutter behind him and grudgingly admits that he should probably head home and sleep. He barely registers Abby's presence when he leaves.

Connor cannot shake the feeling that something has changed. Something that is itching at his mind; he feels like he should know what it is, but as it is he remains oblivious. He and Stephen continue to grow closer, while he happily continues to pursue Abby. Then one day he looks around and realizes that half his DVD collection is at Stephens's apartment, along with his spare toothbrush, some clothes, hats, and a small pile of books. This is of course accompanied by a long thought process involving him hiding away in his room for 24 hours until he comes to a very odd conclusion. If this were with a girl, he would consider it a relationship. The word reverberates around his skull as it makes his stomach dance in a rather pleasant way. This of course means that Connor promptly panics.

He spends a few days' hidden away, shrugging off Stephens invitations to go see a film or grab something to eat. Even Abby is beginning to worry about him. Even though it makes him feel guilty, when she asks, he offers no explanation and merely tells her that he is under the weather.

When Connor finally emerges from his self imposed exile, he meets Caroline. She's funny and smart and beautiful- plus she likes the same movies as him. She also seems to like him back. Abby and Stephen are pushed to the back of his mind for awhile as Caroline treats him like a human being and not like someone that needs to be looked after, or that should be in a computer lab and not out in the field. Of course she knows nothing of his work which is both a relief and an annoyance. It makes for an awkward excuse when he misses a date or has to cancel or shows up late. But she makes his blood thrum and keeps a smile on his face and makes him forget all the troubles and worries that come with his life.

Abby hates Caroline. Connor doesn't understand why. He thought they would have hit it right off. She doesn't trust Caroline, which is ridiculous really. A smaller part of his brain takes notice and starts jumping up and down, shouting 'she's jealous!' Abby merely glares at him when he points this out. Says it's ridiculous. So he goes to Stephen.

Stephen is working out when he finds him, pumping iron or something ridiculous that Connor tried once or twice and nearly killed himself doing. He doesn't need muscles; he's handsome in a lanky sort of way. Stephen barely spares him a glance as he sits on some piece of equipment nearby. He supposes he deserves that, as in the past little while he had kept blowing his friend off. It's the only way to get rid of the strange sensation in his stomach he gets whenever his friend is near…or he hears him over the phone…or sees him from a distance…but that's not the point.

So taking a chance, Connor mentions Caroline and how they've started dating and how wonderful she is and how it looks like Abby is jealous. Stephen hesitates slightly with his workout, before congratulating him, but there's something off in his voice. Connor can't quite place what it is.

He goes on to say that he's sorry that he hasn't been able to come around lately, but he has been very busy and then there was Caroline, so of course he'd understand. Stephen places the rather heavy weight on the bar and sits up and Connor can't help but notice how the sweat soaked grey t-shirt clings to Stephen's chest and shows off his muscular figure. He blushes, banishing the images to the far recesses on his mind. But the blonde man is speaking, so Connor rushes to catch up. Connor frowns when Stephen says it doesn't matter and that he hopes he is happy with Caroline. The off note in his friend's voice is back, ringing ominously around his head long after Stephen has left him alone in the gym.

It's driving him crazy. Abby and Caroline. He thinks he loves Abby and Caroline will barely kiss him, and even then it's on the cheek. They're taking it slow- that's what he keeps telling everyone. Abby is quick to scoff at it. She just doesn't understand. So he does what every one does, he turns to his friend for advice.

Stephen looks slightly startled and pleased when Connor shows up at his apartment, unannounced. The blonde man invites him in, asking if he wanted to watch a movie or something. Connor waits until the other man wanders back over to the couch where he has made himself comfortable before speaking. He suddenly gets the feeling that this isn't the best idea and he isn't sure why.

Instead, he plows on, like he always does. He tells Stephen about Caroline and him taking it slow, but they've only kissed on the cheek and how Abby scoffed at the idea and how he thinks he may love Abby. Throughout it all the blonde man sits there, one eyebrow raised, an almost shuttered look in his eyes. Connor doesn't like it, wants to remove the shutters, but isn't sure how.

He finally trials off, gesturing helplessly with his hands, he can't think of anything else to say. 'Well?' He asks waiting for some great, world shaking advice.

An odd expression flits across the blonde mans face quickly and before Connor can question it, Stephen is leaning forwards into his personal space, a warm heavy hand resting on his cheek. Connor sits there frozen for a moment as Stephens lips press against his. Then the panic settles in him and he pulls away quickly, stumbling to his feet and is out the door with a large blush on his cheeks before he can think. The image of Stephen sitting on the couch, hurt clear on his face haunts him for quite some time.

In the mess following Stephens's apartment, the two of them come to a silent agreement not to mention the sort of kiss and fall back into their old routine. Past sort of friends, but not as close as they had been; then Connor accidentally tells Abby he loves her.

So now he has Abby following him, trying to pry the words out of him again, only once he said it he realized that they didn't feel right. That what he thought he felt for her might not have been love.

Then there was Caroline. It seemed like every time she turned up, he was being melded to her wishes suddenly, and then there was the constant fighting between her and Abby where it appeared that he was expected to choose sides. All he wanted was some time to himself.

Then there was Stephen. That was another bundle of problems in itself, as while they were both successfully pretending that nothing had happened, it had brought up a lot of things Connor had unconsciously buried. He wasn't sure what to do with these emotions; wasn't sure how to act with them. This of course meant that he was doing what he did best, running. He did it with Abby and with Stephen. He didn't know what he wanted anymore.

This lead to Connor keeping more to himself at work, there were a series of inventions he had in mind and things that needed upgrading. All the while, he could feel everyone watching him. Almost as though they were waiting for him to snap.

It's numbness that follows him everywhere in the revelation of Caroline's betrayal and…and the other thing. Stephens's death; Stephen is dead. The statement follows him around, making him wake at two in the morning in a cold sweat and unable to sleep. It feels like someone has ripped away part of his life, left a large gaping hole that will never be filled.

Throughout it all, he can't help but constantly wonder, would Stephen still be dead if he had only kissed him back? Would Stephen still have sacrificed himself? He's buried himself in 'what ifs', replaying scenes over the past few months over and over again.

There are times when he wishes that it were him instead of Stephen, but he knows it couldn't have been. Connor's not brave like Stephen was. He doesn't think he would have been able to sacrifice himself like that, and it makes him sick.

The day of the funeral he wakes up, showers and dresses, going through the motions. Abby is waiting to him by the door. She looks like she wants to say something, but he doesn't give her a chance to, heading out the door to where Jenny is waiting for them with the car. In the ride over, Jenny and Abby make small talk, but Connor doesn't hear them over the roaring in his ears. He's already plotting out the rest of the day. Stephen has no family in the area, so Connor had offered to pack up his things. He supposes it could probably wait until tomorrow, but if he waits until tomorrow, then he may wait until the day after that, then the week, then the month, until it has been two years and Connor still has not touched the apartment. It's better to just get it over with.

Some part of him toys with the idea of moving in there himself. He's not sure if he would be able to though.

Sometime between the dirt falling on the closed coffin lid and making it back to the car, he feels something brush against his hand. With a start, he realizes that it's Abby's hand; she's reaching out to him, offering a start for something between them. He pulls his hand away and keeps walking.

See, it took him a while, but he realized that he did not love Abby; and while he cared for her, it was nothing to start a relationship over, especially in the wake of what had happened.

He had lost Stephen. Lost his chance. He had forced away the emotions, but slowly he lets them filter back in, realizing that a start of something more was what he wanted with the blonde man and it was too late to do anything about it.

It's late at night by the time Connor escapes from the other mourners, slipping silently into Stephens's apartment. The place had always been quiet, but it was just too quiet and dark at the moment. So, he spends the next ten minutes going around turning on every light he can find and turning on every radio to what had been the blonde mans favourite station.

He sighs, and then winces at how loud it is in the empty space. Part of him keeps expecting Stephen to walk out of the bedroom, dressed in sleep pants and asking him what he's doing over there so late.

Connor heads into the bedroom, looking around helplessly, trying to figure out where to start. He ends up sitting on the bed, before slumping over, burying his face in one of the soft pillows. It's stupid, he knows; he and Stephen were not lovers. Just friends. But the familiar scent reassures him and stabs at something in him at the same time. The tears that follow rack his frame until he falls asleep, curled up around the pillow.

He wakes the next morning, so incredibly sad that Stephens scent has now been replaced with his own.

The next few days are hell at work. None of them wanted to take time off, preferring to burry their sorrow and focus on something else. He still hasn't managed to pack up Stephens's apartment. He has spent the past few nights sleeping on the couch. He refuses to use the bed out of fear of erasing Stephen's scent permanently. He can't deal with 'permanent' right now.

They're all mourning in their own way. Jenny's hair falls flat on her back, the expensive clothing becoming more and more casual. Abby's spark is gone. She's invited him for drinks more than once now, he feels like he should accept; it's everything he had wanted- except it isn't anymore. So he tells her no. Cutter is another story completely, it's odd, but his idea of mourning appears to be playing chess with Lester when they're not rushing off to save the world. Lester seems to be taking it all in stride.

The day that he drops by the loft to pick up some fresh clothes, because he has all but moved in at Stephens, is the day that he discovers a voice mail on his cell phone. It's from Caroline.

The phone promptly meets plaster as he throws it at the nearest wall as hard as he can. This earns him a few odd looks, but he ignores them; he has finding a new phone to worry about.

The new phone is forgotten quickly when Abby tells him that another anomaly has appeared and that they have to get going. It's clean, it's easy- focus on the job and nothing else. It's a ritual, a pattern, he can do this.

The next thing he knows, he's falling backwards through an anomaly, Cutter right beside him, tumbling out into some forest like area before the anomaly closes, trapping the two of them there.

It has only been a day, trapped in the past; however Connor is trying his absolute best not to disturb anything as it could change the future. There's the small part in his mind that points out that the possibilities that if he disturbed the past and changed the future, Stephen may just reappear. Cutter looks like he's thinking along the same lines; neither of them ends up purposely changing the past.

It takes them awhile, and they're hungry and tired by the end of it, but they find the second anomaly, Connor's hand held device is tracking. God, he loves technology.

He's not really sure what to expect on the other side, but he figures it couldn't be that different, the most they changed was a path through the foliage and maybe those few berries that had looked entirely too appetizing. So they step through, except somewhere along the way they become twisted and end up falling through on the other side in a twisted pile of limbs.

Connor's leg appears to be stuck under Cutter's back, so while he's attempting to free himself, he completely misses the way Cutter freezes. Then there's a familiar warm hand on his shoulder.

This time it's Connors turn to freeze; then wide brown eyes look up into an incredibly relieved face. He can feel his breath catch in his throat, as the look melts from relief to worry. 'Are you alright?' He asks and Connor nods his head wordlessly, feeling a slightly insane smile slide across his face.

It may not be the best way to prove that he in fact, alright and not just a little loony from being trapped in the past, but he doesn't care. He just grabs Stephen, pulling him down to the ground, to his eye level and kissing him. He can feel the blonde man shrug, before there are fingers threading through his hair, holding his head in place, as they deepen the kiss. He doesn't care that there is a rather large of people watching- he has no idea how close this timeline's Stephen and he are, but he gets the feeling that they're going to be closer now.

It takes Connor all of one month to convince Stephen that they should share an apartment. Of course he doesn't tell the blonde man that part of his reasoning for this is so that he can keep an eye on the other man. Make sure he doesn't disappear again.

Apparently he and Stephen had only been friends in this time line, and he'd still been chasing Abby. And then of course there had been a Caroline. Connor had broken up with her as soon as he had found out. It was like they had traveled back in time, before the kiss fiasco and before Abby and Caroline's fighting.

He's not sure how he got so lucky, but he did, so he's not going to question it- for now. He and Cutter seem to be unconsciously mimicking each other, keeping an eye out, watching Stephen, and trying to make sure that what had happened before will not happen again.

And it's odd, but every so often he would look up and see Lester and Cutter in Lester's office playing chess; but this time it's for fun.

This Stephen talks in his sleep, or at least he does now. So Connor listens to the mumbles and deciphers that it appears to be mostly about him disappearing through an anomaly for a week. That's a lot longer than the day they had thought they were in there. So Connor does what anyone else would do, shifts closer, and feels Stephen's arms wrap around him, a strong body pressed up against his; the muttering stops with a relieved sigh and Connor is finally able to drift off to sleep, knowing that the blonde man is still there.

It doesn't take long for him to stop referring to the blonde man as 'this Stephen' or 'this time lines Stephen'; because he figures out that it's still the same Stephen.