No Light Without Shadow
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Summary :Harry finally destroyed Voldemort but in such a way as to curse himself to death. Now he's in a new world, one where they don't know him and he does not have to see the look in their eyes…darkharry, necromancy,no slash
"…I mean those dress robes are so adorable! Do you think little Rosie will need silk baby boots? And ribbons! Of course she will need them! Come on Bill! We still have to find Hadrian…"
Harry shook his head in exasperation; Hermione had gone absolutely loony these days, ever since she'd realized she was pregnant. It was extremely weird watching his studious friend suddenly turn into a gushing wreck over a baby. Honestly, what was the need to get dress robes for an unborn baby? It wasn't like she was actually going to wear anything that complex for a while!
"There you are Hadrian!"
Wonderful. He'd been spotted.
"Hey Jean, Bill" They had been using polyjuice to avoid being rushed upon by a mob of mad fans. Ever since Harry had finally vanquished Voldemort, his celebrity had increased tenfold. Of course, they didn't know about how he'd killed the Dark Lord. If they did, they wouldn't come within a mile of him with a thousand wands. Harry ducked out from under the easel and gave his mates a strained smile, running his hand through his Polyjuiced blond hair.
Two well-dressed wizards jumped out of his way, hastily pulling a witch in a pink hat behind them and gave him a wide berth. Ignoring their wary looks, he made his way over to his friends. What did these people see that frightened them so?
Ron grinned at him in relief.
"Took you long enough mate. I was beginning to think you were avoiding us again."
Ron Weasley, Auror extraordinaire, strutted over to him jauntily arm in arm with his wife, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Harry deftly avoided the concern in Hermione's eyes.
"Course not," Harry fell into step beside 'Bill and Jean'. "So did how's the shopping going?" His face was carefully blank.
Noticing his expression, Hermione went on hurriedly "Oh we were just getting Rosie's new dress robes! There's this adorable shop over near Fortescues's Ice Cream which is exclusively devoted to new parents and-"
"Did you have to bring it up mate? At this rate she'll never stop," moaned Ron giving Harry a mock glare.
"Well its not every day you become a parent Bill!"
"Come on Jean, the kid's not even born yet!"
"The kid!" Hermione glared at him in exasperation. "She's our baby! Don't you dare give me that look Bill! You do want to be a good father don't you? Well then, help me prepare!"
Ron simply gave a resigned sigh as she dragged them over to the awfully large baby store, rolling his eyes at her back.
Harry felt a bitter smile tug at his lips as he shook his head at their antics. They were doing it for him he knew. Ever since the day when he had lost Ginny in the final battle five years past, they'd been making a valiant effort to keep him attached to the living, dragging him out of Godric's Hollow where he tended to closet himself everyday. They had been the only ones.
No one disturbed him there. Usually. He'd warded it with old magic, magic he'd scavenged over the years. Magic he devoured to right the unrightable. He appreciated their efforts, and especially the batches of polyjuice they would get on their outings. It was good not to look at his own reflection; but sometimes it was hard to be around people who were so obviously in love, who had everything he had ever wanted. But then again, did he deserve to be loved? Mrs Weasley never did look him in the eyes, not since…
Harry fingered his ring longingly. It was made of white gold and had been a gift from Ginny, something passed on through the family. Mrs Weasley had been so proud then.
Harry, Ron and Hermione had been on the run learning forbidden magic and dabbling in old spells of dubious repute. It had been necessary, of course. Finding Horcruxes was all well and good but when it was done, how then was he to defeat the most powerful Dark Lord of all time? Back then he hadn't known about Dumbledore's plan. It had taken a while with a smuggled experimental time turner, one strong enough to go back a week, repeatedly using it so no time passed. However, it had cracked under the strain, undeveloped as it was, and they had not learned nearly enough. Ginny had found them and stubbornly drawn them back to London for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Her Bat-Bogey Hex had been very persuasive. It was then that everything started going downhill.
It was then that he had killed her…No; she would be better off dead. It would have been a blessing, a blessing compared to what he had done. He Harry Potter had…
The Pereunto curse aims primarily to completely wipe out the victim's soul. It is theorized that Loxias created it for his hateful mother who…His mind flinched away from the memories…was this how a soulless body felt like? So hollow…
They had all told him it wasn't his fault. Comforted him. But he had been the one to find it, to suggest its use… And Mrs Weasley never quite looked him in the eyes…they had been a light shade of brown, so warm and inviting, just like Ginnys'. Or had they been so? He couldn't remember. If only she would look at him again! No, perhaps it was better this way. He didn't think he could bear to meet her eyes …
"Welcome to Marie's Accessories young woman! It's a pleasure to have you here!"
Harry snapped out of his thoughts and focused on the cheery door attendant in her frilly green robes. He really wasn't in the mood for this.
"Er…Jean? Do you mind if I stay out here for a while? I think I need some air."
Hermione turned to him with a frown. The concern in her expression told him he hadn't fooled her one bit.
"Are you sure Hadrian? I really need your help here! Don't you want to keep me company? You know how Bill gets around baby-"
"Its alright Jean," Ron hushed her. "Let him stay out if he wants. That is if you don't plan on slipping away again Hadrian. You better stay right here." This with a warning look in Harry's direction.
"I wont move an inch," Harry assured them, planning no such thing. He could feel his control slipping, his public mask flickering. He wanted to be away from them and their happy lives. He couldn't destroy another life! He just couldn't!
Ron gave him a measuring look and let out a sigh. No he definitely wasn't fooling anybody.
"See you soon then," They left with a wave. They knew better than to argue with him in this mood. Without a doubt, they would be back the next day.
Harry turned away and swept into the direction of Knockturn Alley. Since he had been dragged out of home, he didn't see any reason to waste the opportunity. Maybe Borgin had finally acquired Barnabas Deverill's On Potent Magicks.
Harry had no need to draw his hood in Knockturn like its usual residents. In fact he had found that the shady beings of the Alley swerved out of his path faster than the people of Diagon. Even brawls, which were all too common here swerved away from him. Nobody would dare even look at him strangely. Knockturners were quick to pick up on whatever people always saw in him these days.
As Harry stepped over a particularly filthy stall of human fingernails a sudden hush seemed to fall over the Alley. He frowned. Everything seemed normal enough, as normal as it got in Knockturn anyways. Then his ring started to burn.
"Wha-?"
A sudden wind rose up and buffeted him and then he was tripping over his feet and falling, his ring, Ginny's ring! slipping from his grasp to enlarge into a fiery ellipse taller than him and still continuing to grow. Abruptly it stopped and the wind altered its direction, pulling him towards the portal; for that was what it was, he recognized it now! It was impossible! It was…it was irresistible, and wand ripping from his grasp, he was pulled into the portal, into the void, leaving behind a stampede of panicked Knockturners sprinting out of the Alley.
Author's Note: A slowish start but its soon to speed up. Just click the little blue button down here and we are ready to go! Come on! You know you want to…