INT: Upstairs room of a hotel

Professor Xavier is sitting at a table reading a newspaper, the television is on, but he pays no attention to it. He reads out the news aloud

Prof X: The Hiroshima bomb killed thousands of innocent Japanese civilians fifty years ago, the Japanese government demands compensation for their losses. Yesterday a man of Japanese nationality, named by police as Yagami Nakasawa shot dead three people in Los Angeles, California in retaliation.

There is a knock at the door

Prof X: Who is it?

Wolv: I have your tea sir.

Prof X: Come in

Wolverine puts his tray down onto the table and hands the cup of tea to Professor Xavier.

Prof X: Ah thank you Logan

Wolv: Hope you like it sir

Prof X sips the tea

Prof X: Good, good stuff, much better than last time, you did remember to put my medication in didn't you? I hate the taste of ex-lax.

Wolv: It's in there; you should be able to go in no time.

Prof X: I cannot feel anything in my legs anymore, good job my neural capacity is at its greatest. I can do more than just read minds you know.

Wolverine looks at the newspaper

Wolv: Whatcha reading?

Prof X: About the attack in California, no doubt that Magneto is behind this.

Wolv: I don't believe you, Magneto doesn't use guns.

Prof X: Television does not give you the entire story, shame you cannot read Logan, we shall have to learn together sometime, you and I.

Wolv: That'd be nice, but don't insult me, or I'll dig my claws into your soft, exposed neck.

Prof X: Touchy

Wolv: I mean I'm going to kill you this time.

Prof X: Do not get angry, you know the ten-step programme we have been following, stay calm, hit yourself.

Wolv: Get stoned

Prof X: No pot, really I do not want you to be mistaken for a hippie again.

Wolv: Hey, I like my hair the way it is.

Prof X: Well you can hardly pass for Einstein.

Wolv: Shut up before I chalk you, you cueball

Prof X: It says here, may I read for you, that the bullets were aimed inaccurately and hit the victims at what can only be defined as impossible angles, police are astounded.

Wolv: The police are always astounded.

Prof X: So are you.

Wolv: I don't even know who I am, that's what I'm trying to find out, and that's why we are in this shit hotel.

Prof X: I know more than you know

Wolv: What?

Prof X: You are American

Wolv: Oh my god, oh my god, I'm American.

Wolverine's Dream

Wolverine is in an empty dark street; Professor Xavier has fallen out of his wheelchair and onto Wolverine's claws.

Wolv: Professor, professor

Prof X: You are what you are Logan; there is no turning back that is the truth.

Wolv: Professor, you can't die, you mustn't die, I need you.

Prof X: You are an American soldier; the government used you for an experiment.

Wolv: No, I don't want to be an American, you have to love America, I hate the USA.

Prof X: They put metal parts into you, you died, and they reanimated you.

Wolv: No, I am not Robocop; I don't want to be Robocop.

Prof X: You are not Robocop, you are Logan.

Wolverine holds Professor Xavier in his arms as his claws dig further into his chest. The professor utters a cry of extreme pain.

Wolv: I don't want to eat baby food.

Prof X: You are not Robocop; you are a soldier of the X men.

Wolv: I want to feed you sir if you're gone, who will feed me?

Prof X: You are old enough to take care of yourself now Logan. Listen to me, I am leaving you, but I will always be here in some form or another, goodbye.

The Professor dies.

Wolv: No, no, you can't die on me, Charles, Charles, No.

Wolverine gives the Professor an extended kiss of life.

Wolv: Charles!

Wolverine pulls his claws out of the professor

Wolv: Charles I love you.

Sex Scene

Wolverine walks into the room. The professor is sat naked in the chair. He turns to Wolverine and smiles.

Prof: Ah, Logan. I was hoping it was you.

Wolv: I'm here sir, what do you require of me?

Prof: I am in the mood for a story this evening; could you please pass me a book from the shelf?

Wolv: Which book should I get?

Prof: I think a good Mills and Boon would be of interest, I would like to study it for next week's lecture on human relations.

Wolv: Would you like me to read it?

Prof: You cannot read Logan.

Wolv: I'll try

Prof: There is no point, remember I can read your thoughts.

Wolv: Oops

Prof: No Logan, I am not in the mood for role-play again.

Wolverine: Damn, a good hour on final fantasy gets me in the mood for the random battles I have to face everyday.

Prof: That is not what you are thinking Logan.

Wolverine: But I like it when you do the voices.

Prof: Yet you think that Tidus should be manlier, and no, I do not have to presume, I know.

Wolv: Clever shit.

Prof: (reading Wolverine's thoughts) Hmm I just love the way you do Wakka it's so arousing, it makes me want to fuck, just what is going on it that head of yours? This calls more a more detailed analysis of your thoughts. You must accompany me to the Academy of Mutant science someday.

Wolv: Yeh I'd love that and we could play lovely assistant and research specimen.

Prof: I do not like your cheek Logan.