The pain I felt at that moment was one of the most intense feelings of my life, unparallel to none. It was pain doubled with uncertainty, which is worse than any other intense feeling. It burns you from inside and eats you up, whole.

That's how I felt when Warrick left me, and now the intense feeling is back, but in a different way…

When he left, I was heartbroken, I craved male attention. I got myself into things I maybe should not of done. I kissed bartenders, I slept with Nick, I tried it on with Grissom, I groped people involved with cases I was working in… When I was low, I turned into a rebel, I got desperate and even went for suspects. The intense rush was what I was craving, and oh my.. It felt good.

So, the feeling I was on about is back, but with fierce intensity, this time it is devotion. Something I have never felt before. There's parental devotion, but that will always be there. I'll always love my Lindsay, it's in a different way though to how you feel when you're being held in his arms. Mr Sex God himself. Detective Vartann.

Isn't it funny how he loves being called that when I am straddling him, right before I lay it down. Actually no, because it does just as much to me as it does to him. I, on the other hand, prefer being called Kitty. It was the name he gave to me the first time we ever slept together, and it kind of stuck, if you get what I mean..

Now it's been four months, we're together and it's perfect. I wake in the morning, alone, shower and dress, alone, drive to work, alone, get a bite to eat, and am joined by Lou. He walks over, his hair a mess and eyes bleary from sleep, until he see's me…

His face lights up and he's suddenly wide awake. He looks at me like he see's no one else, and alike to every morning, I feel like a princess. What a great start to the day!

It'll only get better tomorrow, as tonight he is moving the final lot of his boxes into my house, and we're gonna be officially living together. I'm going to wake up wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his scent and I am going to love every second of it. Ever since Lindsay went away to college, I've been feeling so alone.

Now, I'm sort of glad she has gone, as tonight I can christen every single room of my… no, our house, and enjoy every single fucking second of it. Oh, I really can… Not… wait…

Work passed in a blur, I got the afternoon off, and went to meet Lou at his old place, so we had two vehicles to transport his stuff. We were done and dusted in no time. Perfect teamwork, as we're the perfect team.

I sat down at the dinner table he had set for us sometime later, as he was lighting the candles and bringing the food through, even though I'd cooked it. He was being my perfect gentleman, as always.

I'm surprised we made it through the final course, let alone the pudding. The sexual tension in the air was overwhelming. It was like there was a third person in the room, who we were trying (and failing) to ignore. We were making tense small talk, about work, to try & ease up the tension, but even stories of junked out prostitutes and desolate old ladies couldn't put us off… He looked and I trailed off mid sentence, stood up, and took my top off, taking the lead…

"Are you ready?" I asked, my voice low and sultry..

"Never been readier", he replied cheekily, jumping up, and swooping me up bridal style, planting a slow, sensual passionate kiss upon my lips…

He carried me over to the sofa, and gentle placed me down, trying to take my clothes off, as I did him.. It Didn't turn out well, and after a split second bout of giggles, we stopped, and took turns undressing each other. I stripped him off straight away, where as he took the time to take the rest of my clothes off slowly, until I was left in just my panties and bra.

He unclasped my bra from the back first time, while he was at the front, and took each of my nipples in his mouth in turn, until they formed hard peaks. Keeping his hands there, he knelt down, and placed soft kisses on my sensitive spots, where I craved him the most, through my panties.

I couldn't wait any longer, and I grabbed a hold of his hand, walked back to the table, and cleared the plates to the side swiftly. Bending over the table suggestively, I heard him inhale sharply… before feeling his hands circling me, he leans over me and whispers next to my ear "are you ready?"

His voice sent a shiver down my spine, and I could only whimper in reply..

He thrust into my quickly, and made me cry out loud..

I lost count the amount of times we made love that night. Hard and fast, slow and sensual. In the shower, on the chair, over the table, against the sink… everywhere.. We marked it all, and it's officially our house now.

I have my house, which is now a home, and my life is complete. With Lindsay and Lou by my side, I'm invincible.