TITLE: Brothers
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid
E-MAIL: hlnkid@aol.com
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi is 13) Brazo's brother comes for a visit.
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.
DEDICATION: This is for everyone who has a brother who is ALWAYS right. And is an expert on EVERYTHING!
==========
Brothers
==========
Obi: Master, you never take me to Master Brazo's for dinner. Why tonight?
Qui: His brother has come for a visit, and he would like to introduce him to us. Bren will be there as well.
Obi: Really? I bet his brother is a hugger just like he is. Wow! Two great huggers in one family. I can't wait to meet him. What's for dinner?
Qui: I'm not sure. Most likely something that you will find disgusting.
Obi: As long as it's not Coco Poofs.
Qui: No, I don't think Brazo will serve his guests cereal for dinner.
Obi: We should go to McNev's.
Qui: I don't think so. It won't hurt you to eat something healthy once in a while.
Obi: Yes it will.
Qui: Keep walking. You will behave this evening, right?
Obi: I will do my best, Master, but if I got hugs coming from two different directions? The Brazo brothers? I might have a hard time keeping control.
Qui: Humor me please and try to at least keep your mouth under control.
Obi: You got it.
(They arrive at Brazo's apartment and ring the door chime.)
Brazo: HELLO MY FRIENDS! GOOD EVENING!
(He opened his arms to welcome them with a hug. Qui-Gon accepted one awkwardly. Obi-Wan on the other hand, ran into the arms with a THUMP against Brazo's chest.)
Obi: Ahhhhhhhhhh. That is gooooooooooood stuff!
Brazo: Come on in gentlemen. Bren is here already, in the kitchen with my brother, T'Rob.
Obi: T'Rob?
Brazo: Yes, that's short for Tony Robert.
Obi: Oh, okay. Let's go meet him then.
(Into the kitchen they went. At the table Bren sat across from a tall, black haired man. T'Rob. He looked a lot like Brazo, but had a presence about him that immediately hit Obi-Wan wrong. The fact that Bren was sitting there looking like she was ready to whack his head off didn't help matters either.)
Bren: Qui, Obi. Thank the Force!
Obi: Huh?
Brazo: Gentlemen, this is my younger brother, T'Rob. T'Rob, this is a good friend of mine, Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(Obi-Wan moved forward and hugged T'Rob. T'Rob stood there and looked at his brother.)
T'Rob: Uh, what's he doing? Can someone get him off me?
Qui: Obi-Wan, come here please.
Brazo: It's a hug T'Rob. Remember those? I specialize in them. Obi-Wan here is just like me in that aspect.
T'Rob: Yeah, well, that's great and all, but I don't care much for hugs. You can have mine.
Qui: Finally another person with some sense.
Obi: Sorry Mr. T'Rob. I thought you were like Master Brazo.
Bren: Trust me kid, he's not ANYTHING like him.
Brazo: Shall we head out for dinner?
Qui: Out?
Brazo: Yes. I thought since Obi-Wan was coming with us, I would treat everyone to McNev's.
Obi: WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!
Qui: Uh, Brazo are you sure you want to do that? He's very difficult to control when he eats at McNev's.
Bren: What are you talking about, he's difficult to control at any time.
Qui: True.
T'Rob: McNev's uses pre-packaged food. They don't actually cook it themselves.
Obi: Yes they do. I've seen them.
T'Rob: They are just reheating something that is already cooked. Trust me, I know someone who works there. He's told me all the secrets.
Obi: What about the Wookie Cookies?
T'Rob: It's not real Wookie Hair. It's actually Bantha hair disguised as Wookie hair.
Obi: It is not.
T'Rob: Yes it is.
Bren: I have a bad feeling about this evening.
Brazo: Gentlemen, please. Let's discuss cookie hair later. I am starving. Obi-Wan, would you like to lead the way?
Obi: Yes. Master can we sit far away from that clown thing when we get there? Last time I had nightmares that he was under my bed reaching for me with his loooooooooooooong arms. Creeped me out.
T'Rob: Actually the fear of clowns is a phobia that dates back centuries. I believe it to be a bit childish however.
Obi: Master, I want to hit him, can I?
Qui: Not yet, Padawan.
T'Rob: Aggression in one so young. Pity.
Bren: Let's get out of here before someone dies.
(The trip to McNev's was made via air taxi. Qui-Gon made sure that his student did not sit next to T'Rob.)
T'Rob: So brother, how is life at the Temple?
Brazo: As wonderful as ever. I could not be happier. My only regret is not having taken an apprentice. But I have Obi over there to keep me company sometimes.
T'Rob: Yeah, he seems like a great kid. Sure. He is a bit clingy though. Must be from a lack of teaching. I would question the sincerity of his master.
Qui: Excuse me?
T'Rob: No offense, but he's what, twelve? Thirteen? He should be past the stage where he needs the affection of others. I see a lack of maturity is all.
Qui: I'll have you know that my padawan is one of the finest students of his age group. I take it you know little about the Jedi ways.
T'Rob: Actually I know a great deal about the Jedi. I see the faults that you can't see for yourself. And I think this young one lacks what it takes to become a true Jedi.
Obi: Master, please, can I hit him now?
Qui: Bren, hold him back.
Bren: Oh come on Qui. Let's set him loose and see what happens. I'd put money on the kid.
Brazo: We are here. And just in time. Everyone out.
Obi: Master don't make me sit by him at McNev's. I might had a slight saber accident and slice his head off. And I am not immature.
Qui: I know, Padawan. Just ignore him.
Obi: But he thinks he knows everything. He doesn't know anything about me.
Qui: Yes, I know. But let's try and be civil. He is Brazo's brother. He must have some redeeming quality.
Obi: I don't think so.
T'Rob: So...Obi, is it?
Obi: Obi-Wan.
T'Rob: Right. Obi-one.
Obi: Wan. Obi-WAN.
T'Rob: Close enough. You eat at McNev's quite a bit?
Obi: No. My master doesn't enjoy it much. My psychiatrist brings me here every now and then.
T'Rob: A Shrink? You are seeing a Shrink? HA! I bet he's a quack. Most Shrinks are.
Obi: Mr. Nev is not a quack. He's not. Master, what's a quack?
T'Rob: A fraud, kid. He's just taking your money. I've never heard of a helpful Shrink. Trust me on this one boy. Ditch the Shrink.
Obi: He has a few problems, but he's a good guy and he does try and help me. I am a handful. You don't even know him.
T'Rob: Yes, but I know the type.
Brazo: Okay, okay you two. Obi, look here. McNev's.
Obi: YES! MASTER!!! They have McJolt soda! I gotta have one of those!
Qui: Oh no you don't. You'll be bouncing off the walls. Do you know how much sugar is in that drink?
Obi:: Yup! Sure do. I'll take two!
Qui: No, you will drink water.
Obi: Can I put sugar in it?
Qui: No you may not.
(When they had ordered and gotten the food, the small group found an empty table towards the back of the restaurant. T'Rob was on one end, Obi-Wan was on the other.)
Bren: So T'Rob, where are you from?
T'Rob: Scotla
Obi: Scotla? That's where Lima is from.
T'Rob: Lima?
Bren: Lima Wean. His favorite actor.
T'Rob: Ah, yes. Lima. That whole good guy attitude he puts on us just an act. He's just as egotistical as all the others.
Obi: No, he's not. I met him. He wasn't like that.
T'Rob: Face it kid, all the so-called 'stars' have lost touch with the real world. He could care less about you.
Obi: Master, can we go home now? I don't feel well.
Brazo: T'Rob, leave the boy alone. You don't always know everything about everything.
T'Rob: I'm not saying I do, but I have a friend in the business that has the 'in' on all the stars. All that matters is the money.
Brazo: Enough. Obi, finish up your dinner.
Obi: I can't. I wanna go home, Master.
T'Rob: Whiny little thing, isn't he?
Bren: He's thirteen. Give him a break. I don't think he enjoys the abuse coming from you.
T'Rob: I am only telling it like it is. I have a friend who...
Bren: Do you have a friend involved in everything?
T'Rob: No, but I know many people.
Bren: And you believe whatever they say?
T'Rob: Not everything. Can I help it if I know a lot about a lot of things?
Brazo: Okay, this was a bad idea. I think we better leave now before something happens that results in death.
T'Rob: Give me a little credit, Brazo. I don't plan on killing your friends because they don't agree with my correct opinions about things.
Brazo: It's not their lives that I fear for...it's yours. Let's go home.
Obi: Thank you, Master Brazo.
(They got up from the table, Obi-Wan wandered to Brazo's side. Brazo immediately gave him a tight hug, and whispered into his ear.)
Brazo: Don't pay him any attention Obi. He's always been like this.
Obi: I don't like him. How can you two be so different?
Brazo: I think he was switched at birth.
Obi: You think so?
Brazo: I would not doubt it. Shall we go?
(The ride home was not an entertaining one, but Obi-Wan managed to hold his tongue. Arriving at Brazo's apartment, they all made themselves comfortable in the common area. Obi-Wan sitting between Qui-Gon and Bren on the couch. Brazo and T'Rob in separate chairs.)
T'Rob: Do we have any coffee?
Brazo: I think so. Would you like a cup?
T'Rob: I would yes. Bren, would you mind?
Bren: Yes I would actually. I don't make coffee. I drink it, but don't make it. You assumed I would fall at your feet to make you coffee because why? I am the only woman here? Sorry bucko! You want it, I will point you in the direction of the kitchen.
Obi: Well said, Master Bren.
T'Rob: That's not why I asked you. I assume that you would know where the coffee is.
Bren: Why?
T'Rob: Because...
Bren: I am a woman. Just say it. Admit it and make me happy.
T'Rob: Never mind. Hey kid, how about you grabbing me a cup.
Obi: Master?
Brazo: Come to think of it, I don't believe I have any coffee. Obi, turn on the monitor there. I think there's a Saber Ball game on right now.
Obi: Yeah, looks like the Stars are beating the Dewbacks again.
T'Rob: The Stars are lucky. The entire season, one lucky win after another. No skill involved, just some missed plays and some bad officiating.
Obi: The Stars are great this year. They've played hard every game.
T'Rob: It's called luck, kid.
Bren: In my opinion there's no such thing as luck. I agree with Obi here. They've fought hard and have earned the wins.
T'Rob: And their star player? What's his name? So overrated. Makes me sick. Time for him to call it a career.
Obi: What are you talking about? He had his best year ever!
T'Rob: Yeah, playing against the teams who sit in the bowels of the league every year.
(Qui-Gon glanced at Brazo. His eyes pleading with him to put a peaceful end to this night.)
Obi: He played as well as anyone in the league.
T'Rob: Your eyes deceive you my dear boy. I thought you weren't feeling well. That is why you wanted to leave McNev's so soon, right? You know, lying is not very becoming a Jedi.
Obi: Can't you just stop? Why do you have to have an opinion about EVERYTHING? And you ALWAYS have to be right. Is it not possible to carrying on a nice, friendly conversation without you shooting your mouth off? I think not. And to think I hugged you.
T'Rob: Yeah, well it's not been easy for me. I hate kids. And you are just impossible to put up with.
Obi: I know my problems. And I have lots of them. You can't accept the fact that you are WRONG about...well, wrong about almost everything. It was nice to meet you. But I hope I never see you again. Master, I am going home. Good night Master Bren, Master Brazo. Please don't make me look at HIM anymore.
(With that, Obi-Wan stormed out of the apartment.)
Bren: Way to go, T'Rob. Tick off the only kid who actually would give you a chance.
T'Rob: Whatever. The kid is a nut. He deserves whatever backlash he gets.
Qui: Excuse me? (Qui-Gon stood over the chair T'Rob sat in.) That would be my apprentice that you are insulting. If you would care to take this outside, I am sure we can discuss it further.
(T'Rob was about to make a smart comment, when he saw the icy glare in the master's eyes. For once in his life, he KNEW it was time to shut up.)
T'Rob: No, that won't be necessary. I'll be turning in for the evening anyway. Good night.
(And he hurried out of the room.)
Bren: Okay, um...Brazo? Please don't take this the wrong way, but what is with that man? He's one of the most annoying people I have ever met.
Qui: And you say that AFTER you've met my cousin Jim.
Bren: He's another story. But T'Rob. How has he lived this long? With that attitude and that mouth, I would have killed him a long time ago.
Brazo: You just have to get used to him. Learn to ignore him.
Bren: But he's so different than you. How did that happen?
Brazo: Your guess is as good as mine.
Qui: I should have let Obi-Wan hit him when he asked to earlier this evening.
Brazo: Doesn't work. It's been tried. Just makes him more annoying.
Qui: If that's possible.
Brazo: Perhaps we should go check on your padawan.
Qui: Yes. He was quite perturbed when he left here.
(Entering the Jinn/Kenobi apartment, they found Obi-Wan immersed in a holo-vid. Lima Wean was on the screen.)
Qui: Padawan.
Obi: Master look. Lima is not like that. He's a good person. Why did he say those things about him?
Brazo: (sitting down next to the boy on the couch) Obi, about my brother...well, let's just say he enjoys aggravating others to no end. He cannot engage in normal conversation. Everything must be his way or he disagrees with it.
Obi: He's an idiot.
Brazo: That would be a good way to put it. I'm sorry he felt the need to attack you.
Obi: I don't like him. Can't you hug him or something and make him nicer?
Brazo: No, I can't. And it's not because I haven't tried. I think he's immune to hugs.
Obi: I didn't know that was possible. I mean, Master Qui-Gon doesn't really enjoy hugs, but even he will loosen up once in a while, right Master?
Qui: Uh, okay.
Bren: Way to back him up Qui.
Obi: When is he going away? I can't visit you Master Brazo if he's going to be there. But you can stay with us. Can't he Master?
Qui: Well, um...uh. Okay.
Bren: You are two for two Qui. Keep it up.
Brazo: No Obi. I don't want to intrude. He's my brother, I need to deal with him. Murder is not an option.
Bren: No, but something to consider.
Obi: Don't kill him. Just make him go away...forever.
*********
(The next day, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan found their way to the dining hall. They arrived just in time to see Brazo flatten his brother with a punch to the face.)
Obi: YES!!!!!!!!
Qui: Obi-Wan, be nice. I wonder what that was all about.
Obi: You have met T'Rob, right? Need you ask?
Qui: But Brazo is such a peaceful man. I have never even seen him angry before.
Obi: Yes, but you HAVE met his brother! Hello? That man is enough to push anyone over the edge.
Qui: Let's see if we can help.
Obi: Master Brazo!!!!!!!
Brazo: Obi! You saw that. I'm sorry. It is wrong of me to give into my anger, but...
Obi: Nah, he deserved it. Can I have a hug?
Brazo: You can have anything you wish.
(T'Rob managed to pull himself off the floor and face his brother.)
T'Rob: I believe I have overstayed my welcome. Brazo, thank you for your hospitality, but I will take my leave today.
Qui: Obi-Wan, do NOT celebrate.
Obi: Damn.
Brazo: It seems we can't get along very well.
T'Rob: We never could. But that's part of what being siblings is all about. No hard feelings.
Brazo: No hard feelings.
(Obi-Wan whispered to his master)
Obi: I have hard feelings about this whole thing.
Qui: Quiet.
Obi: But I do. He insulted Lima.
Qui: Lima can look after himself.
T'Rob: Goodbye brother. I will get my things and head out. It was good to see you again.
Brazo: It was good to see you as well.
Obi: Liar.
Qui: Shhh!
Obi: But he's lying, Master. Jedi do not lie. At least that's what you always tell me.
Qui: Now you choose to remember what I teach you?
Obi: I remember it all, I just have a hard time actually practicing it.
Brazo: Have a safe journey.
T'Rob: Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan. It was good to meet you.
Obi: I wish I could say the same thing.
Qui: Padawan, enough. It was nice to meet you as well. Good-bye.
Obi: See ya.
T'Rob: Farewell. (He headed out the door of the dining hall.)
Obi: Whew! Thank the Force. Master, can I do my happy dance now?
Qui: No happy dance. Jedi do not happy dance.
Obi: True, but they don't lie either. Explain that one.
Qui: Keep it up and you are on that ship with T'Rob.
Obi: Shutting up now.
Bren: Hi boys! Ah, my three favorite people in one room. What's going on?
Obi: T'Rob just left after Master Brazo decked him.
Bren: No way! You hit him? It's about time. Sorry I missed it.
Brazo: He's gone to pack and will be leaving shortly.
Bren: YES!!!!!!!
Obi: That's what I said. But Master Qui-Gon wouldn't let me do my happy dance.
Bren: He's a stick in the mud kid. This is news worthy of a happy dance.
Qui: Fine you two happy dance your life away. I am going to get something to eat.
Obi: He's no fun.
Bren: BUT, you have now seen worse.
Obi: Oh yeah. Master Qui-Gon has nothing on T'Rob. Does he have a last name? Master Brazo, you have never told me your last name.
Brazo: That's because I don't have one. It's just...BRAZO! Like Madonna...Bono...Cher...
Obi: Who?
Brazo: Never mind. Let's just say my last name is elusive.
Obi: Elusive. I like that word. Your last name is elsewhere...elusive. Elusive. Eluuuuusive.
Qui: Obi-Wan please. I would like to eat today.
Obi: Food is elusive to my master.
Bren: Nice use of the word Obi.
Qui: I am leaving now. Good-bye.
Obi: Master Qui-Gon is elusive to his padawan right now.
(Qui-Gon turns around walks up to the boy, grabs his braid and pulls him towards the food line.)
Obi: OW! Master!
Qui: Pain is NOT elusive to my apprentice at this moment.
Obi: OW! OW! OW! Let go of my leash. OW!
Bren: Well, this has been an entertaining couple of days. We'd better go help the poor kid before Qui-Gon makes him eat his braid.
Brazo: I had to eat my braid once when I was younger. Not a pleasant experience.
Bren: No, I would think not. Come on. Hang on kid, we're coming to save you!
END
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid
E-MAIL: hlnkid@aol.com
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi is 13) Brazo's brother comes for a visit.
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.
DEDICATION: This is for everyone who has a brother who is ALWAYS right. And is an expert on EVERYTHING!
==========
Brothers
==========
Obi: Master, you never take me to Master Brazo's for dinner. Why tonight?
Qui: His brother has come for a visit, and he would like to introduce him to us. Bren will be there as well.
Obi: Really? I bet his brother is a hugger just like he is. Wow! Two great huggers in one family. I can't wait to meet him. What's for dinner?
Qui: I'm not sure. Most likely something that you will find disgusting.
Obi: As long as it's not Coco Poofs.
Qui: No, I don't think Brazo will serve his guests cereal for dinner.
Obi: We should go to McNev's.
Qui: I don't think so. It won't hurt you to eat something healthy once in a while.
Obi: Yes it will.
Qui: Keep walking. You will behave this evening, right?
Obi: I will do my best, Master, but if I got hugs coming from two different directions? The Brazo brothers? I might have a hard time keeping control.
Qui: Humor me please and try to at least keep your mouth under control.
Obi: You got it.
(They arrive at Brazo's apartment and ring the door chime.)
Brazo: HELLO MY FRIENDS! GOOD EVENING!
(He opened his arms to welcome them with a hug. Qui-Gon accepted one awkwardly. Obi-Wan on the other hand, ran into the arms with a THUMP against Brazo's chest.)
Obi: Ahhhhhhhhhh. That is gooooooooooood stuff!
Brazo: Come on in gentlemen. Bren is here already, in the kitchen with my brother, T'Rob.
Obi: T'Rob?
Brazo: Yes, that's short for Tony Robert.
Obi: Oh, okay. Let's go meet him then.
(Into the kitchen they went. At the table Bren sat across from a tall, black haired man. T'Rob. He looked a lot like Brazo, but had a presence about him that immediately hit Obi-Wan wrong. The fact that Bren was sitting there looking like she was ready to whack his head off didn't help matters either.)
Bren: Qui, Obi. Thank the Force!
Obi: Huh?
Brazo: Gentlemen, this is my younger brother, T'Rob. T'Rob, this is a good friend of mine, Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(Obi-Wan moved forward and hugged T'Rob. T'Rob stood there and looked at his brother.)
T'Rob: Uh, what's he doing? Can someone get him off me?
Qui: Obi-Wan, come here please.
Brazo: It's a hug T'Rob. Remember those? I specialize in them. Obi-Wan here is just like me in that aspect.
T'Rob: Yeah, well, that's great and all, but I don't care much for hugs. You can have mine.
Qui: Finally another person with some sense.
Obi: Sorry Mr. T'Rob. I thought you were like Master Brazo.
Bren: Trust me kid, he's not ANYTHING like him.
Brazo: Shall we head out for dinner?
Qui: Out?
Brazo: Yes. I thought since Obi-Wan was coming with us, I would treat everyone to McNev's.
Obi: WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!
Qui: Uh, Brazo are you sure you want to do that? He's very difficult to control when he eats at McNev's.
Bren: What are you talking about, he's difficult to control at any time.
Qui: True.
T'Rob: McNev's uses pre-packaged food. They don't actually cook it themselves.
Obi: Yes they do. I've seen them.
T'Rob: They are just reheating something that is already cooked. Trust me, I know someone who works there. He's told me all the secrets.
Obi: What about the Wookie Cookies?
T'Rob: It's not real Wookie Hair. It's actually Bantha hair disguised as Wookie hair.
Obi: It is not.
T'Rob: Yes it is.
Bren: I have a bad feeling about this evening.
Brazo: Gentlemen, please. Let's discuss cookie hair later. I am starving. Obi-Wan, would you like to lead the way?
Obi: Yes. Master can we sit far away from that clown thing when we get there? Last time I had nightmares that he was under my bed reaching for me with his loooooooooooooong arms. Creeped me out.
T'Rob: Actually the fear of clowns is a phobia that dates back centuries. I believe it to be a bit childish however.
Obi: Master, I want to hit him, can I?
Qui: Not yet, Padawan.
T'Rob: Aggression in one so young. Pity.
Bren: Let's get out of here before someone dies.
(The trip to McNev's was made via air taxi. Qui-Gon made sure that his student did not sit next to T'Rob.)
T'Rob: So brother, how is life at the Temple?
Brazo: As wonderful as ever. I could not be happier. My only regret is not having taken an apprentice. But I have Obi over there to keep me company sometimes.
T'Rob: Yeah, he seems like a great kid. Sure. He is a bit clingy though. Must be from a lack of teaching. I would question the sincerity of his master.
Qui: Excuse me?
T'Rob: No offense, but he's what, twelve? Thirteen? He should be past the stage where he needs the affection of others. I see a lack of maturity is all.
Qui: I'll have you know that my padawan is one of the finest students of his age group. I take it you know little about the Jedi ways.
T'Rob: Actually I know a great deal about the Jedi. I see the faults that you can't see for yourself. And I think this young one lacks what it takes to become a true Jedi.
Obi: Master, please, can I hit him now?
Qui: Bren, hold him back.
Bren: Oh come on Qui. Let's set him loose and see what happens. I'd put money on the kid.
Brazo: We are here. And just in time. Everyone out.
Obi: Master don't make me sit by him at McNev's. I might had a slight saber accident and slice his head off. And I am not immature.
Qui: I know, Padawan. Just ignore him.
Obi: But he thinks he knows everything. He doesn't know anything about me.
Qui: Yes, I know. But let's try and be civil. He is Brazo's brother. He must have some redeeming quality.
Obi: I don't think so.
T'Rob: So...Obi, is it?
Obi: Obi-Wan.
T'Rob: Right. Obi-one.
Obi: Wan. Obi-WAN.
T'Rob: Close enough. You eat at McNev's quite a bit?
Obi: No. My master doesn't enjoy it much. My psychiatrist brings me here every now and then.
T'Rob: A Shrink? You are seeing a Shrink? HA! I bet he's a quack. Most Shrinks are.
Obi: Mr. Nev is not a quack. He's not. Master, what's a quack?
T'Rob: A fraud, kid. He's just taking your money. I've never heard of a helpful Shrink. Trust me on this one boy. Ditch the Shrink.
Obi: He has a few problems, but he's a good guy and he does try and help me. I am a handful. You don't even know him.
T'Rob: Yes, but I know the type.
Brazo: Okay, okay you two. Obi, look here. McNev's.
Obi: YES! MASTER!!! They have McJolt soda! I gotta have one of those!
Qui: Oh no you don't. You'll be bouncing off the walls. Do you know how much sugar is in that drink?
Obi:: Yup! Sure do. I'll take two!
Qui: No, you will drink water.
Obi: Can I put sugar in it?
Qui: No you may not.
(When they had ordered and gotten the food, the small group found an empty table towards the back of the restaurant. T'Rob was on one end, Obi-Wan was on the other.)
Bren: So T'Rob, where are you from?
T'Rob: Scotla
Obi: Scotla? That's where Lima is from.
T'Rob: Lima?
Bren: Lima Wean. His favorite actor.
T'Rob: Ah, yes. Lima. That whole good guy attitude he puts on us just an act. He's just as egotistical as all the others.
Obi: No, he's not. I met him. He wasn't like that.
T'Rob: Face it kid, all the so-called 'stars' have lost touch with the real world. He could care less about you.
Obi: Master, can we go home now? I don't feel well.
Brazo: T'Rob, leave the boy alone. You don't always know everything about everything.
T'Rob: I'm not saying I do, but I have a friend in the business that has the 'in' on all the stars. All that matters is the money.
Brazo: Enough. Obi, finish up your dinner.
Obi: I can't. I wanna go home, Master.
T'Rob: Whiny little thing, isn't he?
Bren: He's thirteen. Give him a break. I don't think he enjoys the abuse coming from you.
T'Rob: I am only telling it like it is. I have a friend who...
Bren: Do you have a friend involved in everything?
T'Rob: No, but I know many people.
Bren: And you believe whatever they say?
T'Rob: Not everything. Can I help it if I know a lot about a lot of things?
Brazo: Okay, this was a bad idea. I think we better leave now before something happens that results in death.
T'Rob: Give me a little credit, Brazo. I don't plan on killing your friends because they don't agree with my correct opinions about things.
Brazo: It's not their lives that I fear for...it's yours. Let's go home.
Obi: Thank you, Master Brazo.
(They got up from the table, Obi-Wan wandered to Brazo's side. Brazo immediately gave him a tight hug, and whispered into his ear.)
Brazo: Don't pay him any attention Obi. He's always been like this.
Obi: I don't like him. How can you two be so different?
Brazo: I think he was switched at birth.
Obi: You think so?
Brazo: I would not doubt it. Shall we go?
(The ride home was not an entertaining one, but Obi-Wan managed to hold his tongue. Arriving at Brazo's apartment, they all made themselves comfortable in the common area. Obi-Wan sitting between Qui-Gon and Bren on the couch. Brazo and T'Rob in separate chairs.)
T'Rob: Do we have any coffee?
Brazo: I think so. Would you like a cup?
T'Rob: I would yes. Bren, would you mind?
Bren: Yes I would actually. I don't make coffee. I drink it, but don't make it. You assumed I would fall at your feet to make you coffee because why? I am the only woman here? Sorry bucko! You want it, I will point you in the direction of the kitchen.
Obi: Well said, Master Bren.
T'Rob: That's not why I asked you. I assume that you would know where the coffee is.
Bren: Why?
T'Rob: Because...
Bren: I am a woman. Just say it. Admit it and make me happy.
T'Rob: Never mind. Hey kid, how about you grabbing me a cup.
Obi: Master?
Brazo: Come to think of it, I don't believe I have any coffee. Obi, turn on the monitor there. I think there's a Saber Ball game on right now.
Obi: Yeah, looks like the Stars are beating the Dewbacks again.
T'Rob: The Stars are lucky. The entire season, one lucky win after another. No skill involved, just some missed plays and some bad officiating.
Obi: The Stars are great this year. They've played hard every game.
T'Rob: It's called luck, kid.
Bren: In my opinion there's no such thing as luck. I agree with Obi here. They've fought hard and have earned the wins.
T'Rob: And their star player? What's his name? So overrated. Makes me sick. Time for him to call it a career.
Obi: What are you talking about? He had his best year ever!
T'Rob: Yeah, playing against the teams who sit in the bowels of the league every year.
(Qui-Gon glanced at Brazo. His eyes pleading with him to put a peaceful end to this night.)
Obi: He played as well as anyone in the league.
T'Rob: Your eyes deceive you my dear boy. I thought you weren't feeling well. That is why you wanted to leave McNev's so soon, right? You know, lying is not very becoming a Jedi.
Obi: Can't you just stop? Why do you have to have an opinion about EVERYTHING? And you ALWAYS have to be right. Is it not possible to carrying on a nice, friendly conversation without you shooting your mouth off? I think not. And to think I hugged you.
T'Rob: Yeah, well it's not been easy for me. I hate kids. And you are just impossible to put up with.
Obi: I know my problems. And I have lots of them. You can't accept the fact that you are WRONG about...well, wrong about almost everything. It was nice to meet you. But I hope I never see you again. Master, I am going home. Good night Master Bren, Master Brazo. Please don't make me look at HIM anymore.
(With that, Obi-Wan stormed out of the apartment.)
Bren: Way to go, T'Rob. Tick off the only kid who actually would give you a chance.
T'Rob: Whatever. The kid is a nut. He deserves whatever backlash he gets.
Qui: Excuse me? (Qui-Gon stood over the chair T'Rob sat in.) That would be my apprentice that you are insulting. If you would care to take this outside, I am sure we can discuss it further.
(T'Rob was about to make a smart comment, when he saw the icy glare in the master's eyes. For once in his life, he KNEW it was time to shut up.)
T'Rob: No, that won't be necessary. I'll be turning in for the evening anyway. Good night.
(And he hurried out of the room.)
Bren: Okay, um...Brazo? Please don't take this the wrong way, but what is with that man? He's one of the most annoying people I have ever met.
Qui: And you say that AFTER you've met my cousin Jim.
Bren: He's another story. But T'Rob. How has he lived this long? With that attitude and that mouth, I would have killed him a long time ago.
Brazo: You just have to get used to him. Learn to ignore him.
Bren: But he's so different than you. How did that happen?
Brazo: Your guess is as good as mine.
Qui: I should have let Obi-Wan hit him when he asked to earlier this evening.
Brazo: Doesn't work. It's been tried. Just makes him more annoying.
Qui: If that's possible.
Brazo: Perhaps we should go check on your padawan.
Qui: Yes. He was quite perturbed when he left here.
(Entering the Jinn/Kenobi apartment, they found Obi-Wan immersed in a holo-vid. Lima Wean was on the screen.)
Qui: Padawan.
Obi: Master look. Lima is not like that. He's a good person. Why did he say those things about him?
Brazo: (sitting down next to the boy on the couch) Obi, about my brother...well, let's just say he enjoys aggravating others to no end. He cannot engage in normal conversation. Everything must be his way or he disagrees with it.
Obi: He's an idiot.
Brazo: That would be a good way to put it. I'm sorry he felt the need to attack you.
Obi: I don't like him. Can't you hug him or something and make him nicer?
Brazo: No, I can't. And it's not because I haven't tried. I think he's immune to hugs.
Obi: I didn't know that was possible. I mean, Master Qui-Gon doesn't really enjoy hugs, but even he will loosen up once in a while, right Master?
Qui: Uh, okay.
Bren: Way to back him up Qui.
Obi: When is he going away? I can't visit you Master Brazo if he's going to be there. But you can stay with us. Can't he Master?
Qui: Well, um...uh. Okay.
Bren: You are two for two Qui. Keep it up.
Brazo: No Obi. I don't want to intrude. He's my brother, I need to deal with him. Murder is not an option.
Bren: No, but something to consider.
Obi: Don't kill him. Just make him go away...forever.
*********
(The next day, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan found their way to the dining hall. They arrived just in time to see Brazo flatten his brother with a punch to the face.)
Obi: YES!!!!!!!!
Qui: Obi-Wan, be nice. I wonder what that was all about.
Obi: You have met T'Rob, right? Need you ask?
Qui: But Brazo is such a peaceful man. I have never even seen him angry before.
Obi: Yes, but you HAVE met his brother! Hello? That man is enough to push anyone over the edge.
Qui: Let's see if we can help.
Obi: Master Brazo!!!!!!!
Brazo: Obi! You saw that. I'm sorry. It is wrong of me to give into my anger, but...
Obi: Nah, he deserved it. Can I have a hug?
Brazo: You can have anything you wish.
(T'Rob managed to pull himself off the floor and face his brother.)
T'Rob: I believe I have overstayed my welcome. Brazo, thank you for your hospitality, but I will take my leave today.
Qui: Obi-Wan, do NOT celebrate.
Obi: Damn.
Brazo: It seems we can't get along very well.
T'Rob: We never could. But that's part of what being siblings is all about. No hard feelings.
Brazo: No hard feelings.
(Obi-Wan whispered to his master)
Obi: I have hard feelings about this whole thing.
Qui: Quiet.
Obi: But I do. He insulted Lima.
Qui: Lima can look after himself.
T'Rob: Goodbye brother. I will get my things and head out. It was good to see you again.
Brazo: It was good to see you as well.
Obi: Liar.
Qui: Shhh!
Obi: But he's lying, Master. Jedi do not lie. At least that's what you always tell me.
Qui: Now you choose to remember what I teach you?
Obi: I remember it all, I just have a hard time actually practicing it.
Brazo: Have a safe journey.
T'Rob: Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan. It was good to meet you.
Obi: I wish I could say the same thing.
Qui: Padawan, enough. It was nice to meet you as well. Good-bye.
Obi: See ya.
T'Rob: Farewell. (He headed out the door of the dining hall.)
Obi: Whew! Thank the Force. Master, can I do my happy dance now?
Qui: No happy dance. Jedi do not happy dance.
Obi: True, but they don't lie either. Explain that one.
Qui: Keep it up and you are on that ship with T'Rob.
Obi: Shutting up now.
Bren: Hi boys! Ah, my three favorite people in one room. What's going on?
Obi: T'Rob just left after Master Brazo decked him.
Bren: No way! You hit him? It's about time. Sorry I missed it.
Brazo: He's gone to pack and will be leaving shortly.
Bren: YES!!!!!!!
Obi: That's what I said. But Master Qui-Gon wouldn't let me do my happy dance.
Bren: He's a stick in the mud kid. This is news worthy of a happy dance.
Qui: Fine you two happy dance your life away. I am going to get something to eat.
Obi: He's no fun.
Bren: BUT, you have now seen worse.
Obi: Oh yeah. Master Qui-Gon has nothing on T'Rob. Does he have a last name? Master Brazo, you have never told me your last name.
Brazo: That's because I don't have one. It's just...BRAZO! Like Madonna...Bono...Cher...
Obi: Who?
Brazo: Never mind. Let's just say my last name is elusive.
Obi: Elusive. I like that word. Your last name is elsewhere...elusive. Elusive. Eluuuuusive.
Qui: Obi-Wan please. I would like to eat today.
Obi: Food is elusive to my master.
Bren: Nice use of the word Obi.
Qui: I am leaving now. Good-bye.
Obi: Master Qui-Gon is elusive to his padawan right now.
(Qui-Gon turns around walks up to the boy, grabs his braid and pulls him towards the food line.)
Obi: OW! Master!
Qui: Pain is NOT elusive to my apprentice at this moment.
Obi: OW! OW! OW! Let go of my leash. OW!
Bren: Well, this has been an entertaining couple of days. We'd better go help the poor kid before Qui-Gon makes him eat his braid.
Brazo: I had to eat my braid once when I was younger. Not a pleasant experience.
Bren: No, I would think not. Come on. Hang on kid, we're coming to save you!
END