Author Notes: My reasons for this story was a sort of spin-off from FIE. I like the whole unrequited love but I decided to put a different spin on this. What if he didn't even know you existed? Or better yet, what if he doesn't exist? Like a character from a dream or a fictional character from a book/game?
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, they belong to SqaureEnix. This is sufficient for the entire story.
Leather Black Diary
When Rinoa finds a leather black diary she enthralled by the charming mystery man. The more she reads about Squall's life the more she desires to hear him, see him, be with him. Desperately seeking to find the owner of the diary, Rinoa comes to realise that her fantasies may never become a reality, for Squall now lives only in the memory of others.
Chapter 1 - Leather Black Diary
Cough. Cough.
My throat felt dry and scratchy, the back of my throat felt like a layer of ash was covering it making it hard for me to breathe or swallow. I fidgeted in bed, my eyes still closed and my body and mind still under the influence of sleep. I could faintly hear commotion outside the bedroom; voices, hurried footsteps and a continuous beeping noise.
The door to the bedroom burst open as I opened my eyes only to find someone cover me in a cool blanket. The room was already dark, but the blanket cast a pitch black veil over my eyes, completely preventing me from seeing anything.
My body was picked up through the blanket and I could hear Dad's soothing voice.
"It's going to be alright, Elle. Don't worry," he said comfortingly as he carried me towards the continuous beeping noise.
My mouth was muffled by the sheet and I was only starting to come out of my drowsiness once I was being carried half way down the stairs. I could hear creaks and crackling, my breathing was getting worse from the smell of burnt wood. My chest felt blocked; I knew it was blocked with smoke
inhalation and I was finding it very difficult to breathe.
"Laguna!" I heard my Mum shouting. "Where's Squall?"
"In his room!" Dad's reply bellowed in my ear as we reached the front door. "Raine, hurry!" he cried.
I knew we had reached the passageway once Dad's walking became smooth and levelled, yet still hurried. I heard a creak and the sound of something breaking off. The next thing I knew, a large object had fallen on the side of my blanketed head, a painful throbbing immediately starting to form.
"Elle! You ok?" Dad asked as I heard him rush on and open the front door.
I only moaned from the pain. I felt a rush of icy wind as I was carried further in my blanketed darkness. Finally I felt myself being lowered, the back of my head being laid down onto what I assumed was the grassy front garden.
My breathing was still coming in rasps and the hit on the head I just had was making me feel drowsy.
"It's alright, Elle." Dad's voice brought me back into focus.
Why was he calling me Elle?
I could hear more voices, and a loud siren nose. I could hear something like a water fountain splattering water, yet I still couldn't understand the commotion. My head was in a daze, the throbbing getting worse and my eyes were still veiled.
The blanket was ripped off my body, the cold weather now covering me in shivers and goose bumps. I looked at Dad's blackened face, his lips chapped white. I looked into his eyes and could see the look of disappointment he had as he watched me lay on the grass.
"Squall?" he asked for confirmation. "Where's Elle?" he yelled in disbelief.
Pushing himself off the grass he got up and tried running into the house, only to be stopped by two men dressed in what seemed like Firemen outfits.
"Elle! Raine!" he shouted as he struggled to push past the guys without any luck.
I lay my head back down, my head still throbbing, my throat sore. My eyelids felt heavy, my breathing coming is croaky rasps, I looked at the smoke filled starry sky before finally closing my eyes and saying goodbye to the world.
6 Months Later
"I'm sorry Zone, but its not fair on either of us," I said to my date and held his hand. "Let's just part as friends?" I asked with a small smile.
"I just really enjoyed these past few days, Rinoa," he replied looking earnestly into my eyes.
Already I could feel the sympathy and guilt kick in, but I mean c'mon like I was going to head off to another country and carry a long distance relationship with a guy I had three dates with.
"I enjoyed them too. But you'll find someone to share weeks and years with. Move on Zone; we'll still be friends, okay?" I said to him and let go of his hand.
He just smiled at me, probably unable to answer or accept my request. I said goodbye and headed into my empty house.
I walked into the lounge to see my Dad closing the last of the removal boxes, a coffee cup resting on one of the closed boxes and a plate of biscuits left untouched.
"Hey stranger," I joked walking in.
"Finally dumped Pip?" he asked smiling up at me.
"Yes, Magwitch I did," I replied with the same humour.
"How'd he take it?" he asked as he leaned back into the old tattered sofa that we were leaving behind and drank the rest of his coffee.
"Pretty well," I said unknowingly.
To be honest, I wasn't all that bothered whether or not Zone took our 'break-up' all that well. I mean, we had only gone on three dates and as far as I was concerned at the time I didn't see it going anywhere. I guess having the prior knowledge that I was moving away was what made me relent and accept his advances. I guess telling him I was leaving the country the night before I was to leave wasn't such a good idea. But,
who cares? Not me.
"Well, this was the last of the boxes," Dad said out of nowhere.
I just looked around the empty room with all these different sized boxes placed about. The entire house was pretty much empty with removal boxes all placed around. I had already taken all my belongings and packed them, leaving only one bed sheet out to sleep on our last night. I was sure going to miss this house; I grew up here since I was a baby, but I was happy to get away from all the memories.
"Any regrets?" I asked Dad.
"Millions," he answered honestly. "You?"
"None," I answered determinedly.
"Liar," he replied, causing me to stick my tongue out at him.
"All right, I'm off to bed," I said and made my way up the stairs for the last night.
In my bedroom I clicked the light switch on and shut the door. Taking off my clothes I neatly folded them and placed them on my empty chest of drawers to wear for the next day. I opened up the duffle bag lying on my floor and took our my pyjamas, sliding on my pants and buttoning up my shirt.
I got under the cool covers of my bed sheets and closed my eyes. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. Finally, we'd be moving from this place, this house, and the memories it contained.
Dad had woken me up at seven in the morning so I got dressed as he went out to the nearest café to get us some breakfast. While I was eating my toast and drinking my coffee the removal men had arrived so we instructed them to place everything into the van and then sent them off to the courier service in town.
Seeing as our flight to Balamb wasn't until the evening, Dad and I decided to spend our last day in Deling City doing something fun. We went to the Mall first and grabbed some lunch and then headed to the Multiplex to watch a film. Deciding we wanted something light-hearted, we watched some kid's film about some pre-teen going from world to world with some special key killing little black creatures and trying to save his long time childhood friend. We were actually watching a sequel and since I hadn't watched the first film I was a bit confused at certain parts.
My Dad however loved it. He slept through the whole film.
Once we were done with our film, we headed back home, picked up our luggage and ordered a cab to drive us to the Deling International Airport. Of course this took about two hours getting in through check-in, baggage drop-off, security checks and finally boarding.
The flight took approximately six hours and we were flying through the evening. I spent the first half of the flight surfing through the entertainment system and watching a movie through dinner. The last half of the flight, advised by my father, I got some shut eye to rejuvenate myself.
Since Galbadia was three hours ahead of Balamb and our flight was at six, by the time we landed it was only 9pm in Balamb. Getting our baggage from the baggage collection point, we headed out of Balamb Airport and hailed down a cab. My Dad showed the driver the address to our new establishment and off we headed into the Balamb night.
The drive was around half an hour before we pulled up to a small detached house with a wide front garden and a paved driveway. Dad handed me the keys to the house as he paid the driver and then got out of the cab. I knew he wanted me to go on ahead but I decided to hold back and help him with our luggage.
Rolling in my two suitcases up the driveway I walked up and stopped outside the front door. Putting the key in I opened up the door and stepped into the cold house. Feeling around the wall for half a minute I found the light switch and turned on the light, immediately filling the passage with a bright glow. I looked around to find white painted walls, a small mirror hanging to one side, stairs leading up to another floor, two doors to my right and one in front.
Dad had walked to the door opposite us and opened it to find a spacious fitted kitchen with light brown wooden cupboards and steel appliances. There was a breakfast bar in the middle of the room with a dining table to one corner near a backdoor which probably lead to a garden.
I decided to open up the two doors to my right, one was a pretty much empty and I guessed it was supposed to be a dining room. The other room was much larger and overlooked the front garden. The window facing north of the building was wide and followed the arch shaped layout. Our furniture had arrived before we had and had been conveniently placed in the room suited to our liking. Two large black three-seater couches were positioned against either side of the walls facing each other with a glass coffee table in between. A matching leather armchair was placed in the middle of the room facing the large bay window, sectioning off the seating area of the room. Just under the window was a widescreen TV system and my game consoles.
The other side of the room housed two bookshelves and some plant pots. A single chair also was left against the wall, a chair which I had hoped would remain back in Deling.
"What's Mum's chair doing here?" I asked Dad as he walked into the room.
"I decided to bring it with me," he replied.
"I thought it was supposed to be a fresh start?" I asked looking away from the chair and the memories of my mother.
"It is, but I would like some of her things. Besides, I like that chair," he replied.
I shrugged and walked out of the room. In the hallway I took a glance upstairs and fiddled with the light switch until the upstairs lighting turned on. I was about to take a step upstairs when my Dad called out to me.
"Careful Rinoa, most of the downstairs and the hallway upstairs had to be remodelled, no one has lived here since they completed the renovation," he warned while taking out his mobile phone.
I crept up slowly as my Dad made a call. The upstairs was just as nice as the downstairs. New carpet had been placed on the entire floor, paintwork had also been done professionally. On this floor there were four doors, one to my left, two in front of me and another to the right.
I opened the one to the left of me to find a moderately sized fitted bathroom with a small square frosted glass window to one side.
I then headed to the room at the end of the hallway to find it empty, newly painted and what seemed like new window frames and carpets. This room also faced the front of the house overlooking the front garden. The second room was exactly the same as the first, besides being bigger in size by half. I guessed this was the master bedroom which my Dad would probably claim since the removal guys we hired had already placed all his belongings in there. His bed was already placed in the middle of the
room with his wardrobe to one end and his drawer to another side.
I walked into the last room expecting my things to already be in there. Predictably it already was. My bed was aligned in the middle of the room, my desk positioned under the window facing south of the house, my chest of drawers and wardrobe at the end of room and my bean bag and bookshelf just close to it. It was a square room, again newly painted in a rich cream and mahogany colour. I noticed that the window at the other end of the room also had a glass door which lead out to something. I hurried over to it and tried opening it. It was locked and I almost gave up had I not noticed the small keyring hanging on a hook beside the door. I took the key and opened up the door walking into a moderately sized balcony. I immediately smiled, loving the extra space, sure Dad had the biggest room in the house, but I had balcony overlooking the
back garden.
"Rinoa?" I heard Dad call out to me.
"I'm back here," I cheerfully cried out.
A couple of seconds later and I heard him walk into the balcony and chuckle.
"Well, this is nice," he commented. I nodded at him and leant over the railing. "Oh look, you even have a terraced fence if you ever want to sneak out," he said pointing to the wall behind me.
"Sneak out where? This town seems dead," I replied looking back at him.
"I'm sure you'll make friends here," he answered sensing my real fear.
"Who was on the phone?" I asked remembering he had made a call.
"The landlord of this place," he replied.
"Landlord?" I asked in confusion. "You mean we're renting this place?"
"No. He's a friend of mine, helped him out a while back and he's repaying the favour," Dad answered, as he looked around the garden.
"So we're living here for free?" I asked further.
"Hm," he said and looked at me. "I guess we are. Goodnight," he concluded and left me in the balcony.
We spent the next day unpacking all the things the removal men didn't unpack. I placed all my books into my bookshelf, helped Dad put all the china and cutlery away, put all the ornament and knick-knacks in the living room. I was so tired by the evening that I wasn't even bothered to go out with Dad to do the grocery shopping. Instead I lounged in the living room until he got back an hour later with the groceries and a takeaway.
We ate in the kitchen and made general conversation, including which school I'd be attending. It was Balamb High School and was around a twenty minute drive from where we were living and I had the pleasure of being told I was to start tomorrow. I groaned in reply to Dad's announcement. If there was anything about school I hated, it was being the new kid.
Seeing as I was to start school, Dad told me to head on up, shower and get to bed saying he'd unpack what ever was left over. I went into the cold bathroom and shut the window, turning on the radiator and hanging my towel on it to heat it up. I turned on the electric shower and got in, letting the hot water soothe my sore weak body. I wanted to stay in there forever, it was relaxing and warm, but I was also falling asleep. I quickly washed my hair and soaped down my body, rinsing myself and then hopping out of the shower and into my nice hot towel.
Having the benefit of the bathroom so close to my bedroom, I skipped into my room and began changing into my sleeping clothes. My hair was damp so I quickly dried it and applied some moisturising cream to my face.
I was in bed when I heard Dad come up and down the steps in a continuous rhythm. By the fourth time I was curious to know why he was running a marathon on our staircase and got out of bed to find out why. Opening my door I found a couple of boxes at the foot of my door and a ladder leading up to the ceiling.
"Dad?" I called out to the hole in the ceiling.
"Rinoa, I'm in the attic," he called out.
"Attic?" I whispered.
I climbed up the ladder and made my way up to the room upstairs completely unaware we even had storage space up here. Dad was at one end of the room sorting out boxes and pushing them up against the wall.
"Where'd all this stuff come from?" I asked.
"It's the previous owner's things. I'm putting some of our things in here as well, but away from these," he answered while moving more boxes.
I decided to stay up another half hour and help my Dad with the boxes, sorting out a pile for the previous owner's things and our own. It was while I was carrying a box of what I would call junk, the bottom tore open and the contents fell to the ground.
"Rinoa," Dad moaned.
"Sorry," I replied. "Just pass the duck tape and I'll fix it."
Chucking the duck tape at me I fixed the box again, securing the lid tightly and started packing the things back in. It was then that something caught my eye; an A5 sized leather black book in good condition. The edges were all intact as were the pages that I sifted through finding hand written accounts of some sort as well as dates. I realised it was someone's diary. But not just any diary, in fact it seemed like a journal.
"What's that you got there?" Dad asked causing me to jump.
I dropped the book on the floor and bent over to pick it back up holding it against my chest protectively and answered him.
"A book, you don't think the owner would mind me reading it do you?" I asked.
"Erm, well some of these things are private, so read it and replace it once you've finished it," Dad advised to which I nodded.
I got up slowly and announced I was heading to bed again. I know I lied, but it was a book; I just didn't say it was someone's private thoughts and accounts. Once in my room I turned on my bedside lamp and got under the covers. I pulled my pillows up and rested my back against it. I opened up the black leather book and started reading the first page.
- 15th September -
Dear Diary? Dear Journal?
Dear Whatever,
My name is Squall Loire, I am sixteen years old and live in Balamb. I attend Balamb High School and am writing this one week account for a school history project following the World War II diary accounts of Adel Frank.
I am the only son of Laguna and Raine. I also have a sister, Ellone but we call her Elle.
Ellone is three years older than me, but I tend to act like the protective older brother. Elle has sickle cell anaemia and is mostly at home due to her illness. I know she hates it because she can't be like the 'normal' girls her age. But what defines normal? I would say I'm relatively normal, but then again people have likened me to a brick wall.
I have friends of course. Who doesn't? My closest friend I would have to say is either Zell or Seifer. I can't really choose between them. Seifer can get on my nerves most of the time with his constant degrading and rivalry. But he's a good friend when you're in a sticky situation.
As for Zell, well he can be a good guy too and never lets you down. But the guy can go on for ages, he's like the energizer bunny.
Then there's Irvine who is the ladies man, I get along alright with him, but he's too coarse for my liking. The guy likes dirty magazines, what's to say?
Quistis is my first female friend. She's recently started to date Seifer which was a surprise for me. I never thought he'd be her type. Quistis is really into academia and Seifer… well he's not. Quistis is sorta like our older sister.
Finally there's Selphie. She's bubbly, hyper, energetic and yes I am aware they pretty much mean the same thing. Selphie is a fun girl; the exact opposite of me, and we usually get pulled into some idea of hers that doesn't always end positively. She too has recently started dating Irvine.
Anyways, that's me in a nutshell.
Squall.
- 16th September -
Dear Whatever,
My teacher read over my first entry and said I didn't include anything about myself, so what's to say? I'm Male, 5'6" and not bad.
…
I have blue eyes, brown hair and pale skin. Other than that you'd have to figure the rest out but seeing as you're an inanimate object I doubt you'll be doing any thinking.
I just know I'll get scolded for that.
So this diary is suppose to be written as if someone were to read it. But there's no way I'd let anyone read this. This is boring anyhow.
What did I do today? I went to school, I ate lunch with friends, I did some homework and now I'm getting ready for bed. Boring and pointless, maybe.
I'm out.
Squall.
- 17th September -
Dear Whatever,
Alright, a proper account today.
There's this girl.
"Sweetheart, it's ten o'clock you don't want to be late on your first day," Dad said to me from the doorway.
I didn't even hear him leave the attic. I was so engrossed with the diary I was completely unaware of my surroundings and how cold the room had gotten.
"I'm going to read for a bit longer and then hit the hay," I said getting up and turning the radiator on.
"Well I'll call you at seven then," Dad informed and closed my door.
I got back into the bed and pulled my duvet cover over me, warming my
body from the iciness of the room.
The diary wasn't action filled but I gathered it was because his teacher was reading it and he probably didn't want some random person reading his real life accounts like I was doing. The guy was funny nonetheless.
He seemed to be very sarcastic and abrupt and I could tell by his writing he spoke exactly as he wrote. I quickly flicked through the pages, there were a lot of accounts; more detailed than the first ones.
I decided to read the current entry before calling it a night.
There's this girl. Her name is Wimbly, she's part of the Garden Festival Committee and has a crush on me, apparently. Now normally I couldn't give a toss whether a girl had the hots for me or not. There's not a single girl in Balamb that suits my liking and she definitely isn't any different.
Now here's my problem. This girl's father is super rich and he's managed to get her two tickets to see The Black Mages live. Now she's given me both the tickets. What's the problem? Well I know she's given them to me so she's not pressuring me to go with her. But at the same time, I know if I give the extra ticket to Seifer or Zell, she'll be heartbroken. I feel like I'm caught in a trap, do I ask her and potentially lead her on or do I act ignorant and just go with Seifer and then feel like crap afterwards?
I wish she didn't give me the tickets.
I wish she didn't like me? Why me? I don't even talk to the girl. I didn't even know she was alive until she started saying hi to me every two minutes.
Quistis says she likes me because I'm not like the other guys. That keeping to myself makes me all the more appealing. Lol whatever.
I'm out.
Squall.
- 18th September -
Dear Whatever,
I hate having a conscience. I spoke to my Mum and she advised me to give the tickets back and explain that I wouldn't be allowed to go. I gave them back to Wimbly who looked disappointed and I can assure you the look on my face was much worse, well that is if I had an expression other than the blank one I always adorn myself with. I don't like being open with my feelings.
Anyways one more entry and I'm done with this.
Ellone just came in, she's told me to keep a secret. A guy named Felix at her Uni has asked her out. He's some super hot dude with a motorcycle and some other girly things she mumbled. I'm not allowed to tell Mum; they're keeping their relationship a secret for now.
I guess that explained her happy mood during dinner. She didn't have any tantrums today. I'm happy for her, she always feels her illness keeps her back. Though we both know its not her illness; it's Mum's fear.
I'm out.
Squall.
My eyes were hurting now and I knew I had to get some sleep. I wanted to keep reading and find out more about this mysterious Squall person. It was also interesting with this Felix character making an entrance. It felt like I was reading some kind of high school story with secret relationships, side characters and a very witty, yet sarcastic narration. I think what made the diary even more appealing was that it was all based on a real life account. Well either that or this Squall guy was some loser who had no friends and made things up as he went along.
For the first time in a while I actually had a smile on my face, as I tucked myself under the duvet. I had never read anyone's diary before, I didn't even keep my own. Dr Kadowaki had said keeping a diary could alleviate stress but I couldn't be bothered. I think Dad took her advice and started writing one. But I didn't want to write down my memories. I'd rather forget them.
I felt stupid though, that this guy I didn't even know was making me smile so much. I guess his laid back attitude and sarcasm was mirroring my own character at the moment.
Blue eyes and brown hair, he sounded dreamy. And 5'6" wasn't a bad height. I wondered if he was muscular, lean, how he styled his hair and whether he had an attractive smile.
Laughing to myself for over-thinking about the boy in the diary I shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep. Tomorrow I'd be starting school. I was just dying to know what that'd be like.
Yeah right.
Author's Edited Notes (18th August 2011): Hi everyone. Thanks for keeping up with this story, for those of you who are reading this chapter now, I had made a couple of typos and grammatical mistakes in the dialogue (mainly the tags) so I've come back to fix them. I'm far from being a perfectionist, but I always think the first chapter to any story should be presented (very) well. Anyway, hope you're liking the story so far. :)
-Niqsta