A Very DeadX-mas!
A/N: I just love my title!
Disclaimer: Can I please own them? Please? Please? Pretty please?
The sun left a golden hue on the horizon as it lowered across the sky. Laura watched the sunset, and she tried to relax against the tree but she couldn't shake the pungent odor of gun powder and Mexican food from her heightened sense of smell. She sat up straight as footsteps crunched over the thick snow through the trees. Whoever it was would walk right past her. She pulled her legs up and perched on the branch, waiting for the person to come into view. He whistled what sounded like, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer' as he walked beneath the tree to her left and into her line of sight. Dressed head to toe in a red and black suit, the muscled man also wore a belt and holsters packed full of artillery along with two katanas strapped to his back. She angled her head and also noticed the undersized shirt he wore that proclaimed, "Dear Santa, define Naughty." She recognized him from an excursion that took her to the future when she was part of X-Force. Still she didn't approve of him being so close to Logan's school.
Laura twisted on her branch and leapt down behind him. He spun and jerked his head back to avoid her fist. She swung with her opposite fist, and he caught her hand which she jerked free before swinging a high kick to his face. He stepped back and dodged her foot, and she advanced on him with a flip in the air resulting in another kick in his direction that he also dodged expertly. He swung his fist, and she ducked. She punched out to his stomach and he jumped back. He swung again, and she twisted to the side. He kicked out, and she raised her knee to block him. Anyone watching would've thought they were displaying a well choreographed dance. He kicked again, and she jumped over his leg and landed in a crouch where she finally landed a kick to his torso, pushing him backwards into the trunk of the tree. She jerked back up and pushed out her claws, and then pinned him to the tree with the claws of her right hand at his throat. She was halted when she felt the chill of cold steel of a gun barrel pressed to the bare skin of her stomach. She glanced down to the weapon and backed up to the man's masked face.
"Don't bring claws to a gun fight, Baby." His mask stretched out with his grin.
With no words, she brought her left hand in and swiped it across the barrel of his gun before he had a chance to pull the trigger. Before either could make another move to attack, heavy footsteps approached.
"X?" Logan's voice called out. "Laura? You out here?"
He just passed the trees and saw Laura standing there with her guest, claws to his throat and sliced gun pointed to her stomach. Logan growled.
"What are ya doin' here, Deadpool?"
"Merry X-mas!" Deadpool raised his hands in the air as he shouted. "Santa says you've been a bad boy this year and sent me as your punishment."
Logan groaned. "Wilson, get outta here before turn my back and I let her finish what she started."
"First, I'm insulted. Second, come on, Ol' Man. I got no one to spend it with since Spiderman refuses to tell me where he's at with the hot-redhead he's still dating. Besides, doesn't the X in X-mas stand for you?" He looked at Laura. "Or does it stand for you? I really wouldn't mind spending-."
"Deadpool!" Logan barked.
Deadpool looked at Logan and then glanced back to Laura's chest. She narrowed her eyes at him. He turned back to Logan. "Please, I'll be good. I'll go to bed early, and I promise not to drink all your beer."
Logan groaned again and crossed his arms in front of him as he debated with himself. "Okay, you can stay, but you're not allowed to sleep here and if you drink any of my stuff, you're replacing it in the morning."
"Yay!" Wade clapped his hands.
"And one last rule." Logan held up a finger. "Do not touch her." He nodded to Laura. "We don't need to be moppin' up yer blood tonight. It's a holiday."
"Ah . . . but Dad!" Deadpool whined.
"And don't call me that!" Logan shouted. "Come on, Laura. Let's get back inside." He turned and began walking to the building.
Laura kept her eyes trained on Wade. He turned back to her and smiled under his mask. He nodded to her claws still centimeters from his throat. She didn't lower them. He raised his free hand and lightly touched the tip of her claws and pushed them slightly until she pulled her arm back and stepped away.
He fell into step beside her as the approached the school, and he nodded toward her claws. "Pretty sharp. What do you use? Stone? Sandpaper?"
"Human bones." Laura replied without looking at him.
He pressed a hand to his chest. "A woman after my own heart."
"Stop talking." Laura commanded.
"If only it were that easy." Wade commented and looked down at her. "Speaking of which-."
"Wilson!" Logan yelled back at him.
"Fine! Sheesh!" Wade held up his hands. "I get it! I'll wait until you're not around."