I Can't Believe It's NOT Butter!!
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: Well, here we are, in our forevermore little place-like thing. Cutie Corner. Phibby's room.
Phibby: Isn't it WONDERFUL??
Xelloss: Phibby!
Phibby: Xelly!
Xelloss: Phibby-dibby-doo!
Phibby: Xelly-welly-poo!
Xelloss: Phibbity-bibbity-boo!
Zelgadis: Please stop. NOW.
Phibby: Silly Zelgadis! (snaps fingers)
Zelgadis: (poof)
Phibby: Bye, bye!
**
Somewhere far away..
Zelgadis: (jumping up and down on a desert island) Just wait'll I get back there! I'll beat the stuffing out of that child-wannabe!
**
Phibby: (covered in stuffed animals) I like plush.
NoV: Thankies for letting us use your really cool room, Phibby!!
Gourry: (sniffle) I don't like it.
NoV: Why not?
Gourry: There's no giant kitchen like we had in Kawaii Konversations.
Phibby: Oh, but there is! (snap)
Gourry: (watches as a wall slides open) I love you, Phibby.
Phibby: Yes, I know.
Gourry: YAY! (runs into the kitchen)
NoV: (sinks into a pile of plush) Ahhhhh...this is paradise.
Xelloss: BTW, what is this particular ficcie about?
NoV: (sits up slightly) Didn't you read the summary?
Xelloss: Umm..no?
NoV: (giggle) It's funny.
Xelloss: Oh-kay...
Bishounen: Why do I always end up in the closet?
Phibby: Because we're all waiting for you to come out of the closet.
Bishounen: Yes, I hafta do that in every fic.
NoV: (giggle)
Xelloss: You know, they're taking advantage of your stupidity.
Bishounen: They are?
Xelloss: ...yes. They are.
Bishounen: Wow!
Xelloss: It's..um...not a good thing.
Bishounen: Oh. Boo.
Xelloss: NEVERMIND!!
NoV: Let's begin our first ficcie broadcast from Cutie Corner!!
**
Gourry liked things that were simple. Things like teepees and inch worms. Things that didn't require any brain power to think about. Things like butter.
Butter was such a versatile substance that was essential to so many other substances.
Often, he liked to eat it all by itself, right out of the box.
On one such occasion, he had stuffed himself into a lazy-boy, with the TV on, and had a whole tub of butter in his lap.
"There's nothing that can even COMPARE to the beautifulness of butter, TV, and this really big chair!" he exclaimed. "And, plus, my favorite show, Sailor Moon is on!"
"We will return to Sailor Moon in about thirty minutes after our commercial break," the announcer said.
Gourry started to lower the foot of his chair to get up. "I'll go get some popcorn while the commercials are on!" he said to himself.
"Don't go away!" the announcer interrupted.
"But, I-" Gourry began.
"SIT!! If you go anywhere, your life will be destroyed and inflicted with pain, agony, and serious injuries!!!" the TV warned.
"Oh-kay, oh-kay!!!" the blond shrieked, plopping himself down.
"That's better."
The first commercial came on. A beautiful floral garden was portrayed. I girl with a Romanesque-like dress on came running through the garden maze. She ran up a flight of steps, at the top of which was Fabio.
She handed him a plate of margarine.
He looked into her eyes, dreamily, and said, "I can't believe it's not butter."
Back in the room, Gourry's eyes had grown big and round. "He's my HERO," he uttered, spaced-out.
On the TV, a voice came over the scene of the brand of butter on the screen.
"How would YOU like to be the next Fabio?" he asked.
"I'd like it more than anything in the entire universe!!!" Gourry cried.
"Would you like to be a celebrity, make commercials, and have tons of butter at your dispense?"
"YES, YES, AND YES!!!!" the swordsman shouted, hopping out of his chair.
"Well, just come down to Butter Studios, and audition, or call 1-800- BUTTER!"
"I'll do it!!!" Gourry cried, jumping up and down in the room. He raced out of the room to tell Lina and the others about this. Suddenly, something occurred to him and he rushed back inside. "Where IS Butter Studios?" he wondered.
"Butter Studios is right nextdoor to the inn that you're umm..in."
"Thanks!" Gourry exclaimed, running back out.
"You're welcome!" the TV called back to him.
**
Lina was enjoying her lunch very much. After all, she had easily gotten rid of her biggest competition by giving him a TV, a chair, and some butter. She was free to chomp and chew to her heart's content.
Amelia, Zelgadis, and Xelloss watched her as she all but devoured the table. The plates and silverware never had a prayer.
Just then, Gourry burst into the room, smiling very widely.
Lina dove on top of the table, covering her food. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF MY FOOD, YOU PIG!!!!" she yelled.
Gourry stared blankly at her for a few moments. He giggled and ruffled her hair. "No, you silly Lina! I don't want your food! ...ooh! Chicken!!!"
"AAG!!" Lina shrieked, biting Gourry's hand as it reached for the chicken leg.
"Ow!!" the blond cried out in pain. "Oh, sorry. Guess what, you guys!!"
All four of them just blinked at him.
Gourry was uninhibited by this. "I just figured out my DESTINY!!!"
"To be a side show strong man?" Xelloss suggested.
"Nope." He shook his head.
"To be a champion of Justice, just like my hero, Sailor Moon??" Amelia squeaked, her eyes growing large.
"Nope."
"You finally figured out that your hair needs to be cut?" Zelgadis wondered, sipping his coffee.
"No! My hair is PART of my destiny! I'd never cut it!" Gourry protested, stroking his blond mane of hair.
"Then what? What is your destiny, Gourry?" Lina demanded, sharply.
"Gee, I feel like I'm on a game show," the swordsman said, with a goofy face. "It'd be like 'Name Your Destiny!' But..anyway.."
"TELL US ALREADY!!!!!" Lina roared.
"Oh, right." Gourry smiled. "I'm gonna be the next Fabio on the butter commercials!!"
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: Intermissiony.
Xelloss: SO, Goo-chan's gonna be that blond guy who talks with the Ah-nold accent?
NoV: Yep. (giggle) Hey, did you know that while Fabio was riding a roller coaster he got hit in the head by a duck? (laughs hysterically)
Xelloss: I did not know that.
Gourry: That would be funny.
NoV: I wish I could have SEEN it!!! (laughs more)
Xelloss: Ahh!!! I can't believe it's not a goose!!!! Bonk.
NoV: (laughs more) Stop making me laugh!!!
Xelloss: It would be even funnier if there were an entire flock of ducks ramming him in the head.
NoV: (laughs harder)
Xelloss: And then some pigeons could all poop on him.
NoV: (tears roll down her cheeks from laughing so hard)
Xelloss: And when he finally got off the roller coaster, he says, 'I can't believe I paid fifty bucks for that!'
NoV: Ohhh.. (stops laughing, finally) Now, you've done it. (glares at Xelloss) And you're gonna PAY. MUAHAHA!!! (tackles Xelloss and starts tickling him)
Xelloss: (giggling hysterically) Please stop!! No more!! Bwahahaha!!
NoV: (pauses momentarily) Want more? Tell me if you do!! (starts tickling again)
Phibby: (walks in) Hey! The pizza's here!! You guys-want some? I guess not. More for me!!!
NoV: (Doesn't look up from her victim) Join us for part two!
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: Well, here we are, in our forevermore little place-like thing. Cutie Corner. Phibby's room.
Phibby: Isn't it WONDERFUL??
Xelloss: Phibby!
Phibby: Xelly!
Xelloss: Phibby-dibby-doo!
Phibby: Xelly-welly-poo!
Xelloss: Phibbity-bibbity-boo!
Zelgadis: Please stop. NOW.
Phibby: Silly Zelgadis! (snaps fingers)
Zelgadis: (poof)
Phibby: Bye, bye!
**
Somewhere far away..
Zelgadis: (jumping up and down on a desert island) Just wait'll I get back there! I'll beat the stuffing out of that child-wannabe!
**
Phibby: (covered in stuffed animals) I like plush.
NoV: Thankies for letting us use your really cool room, Phibby!!
Gourry: (sniffle) I don't like it.
NoV: Why not?
Gourry: There's no giant kitchen like we had in Kawaii Konversations.
Phibby: Oh, but there is! (snap)
Gourry: (watches as a wall slides open) I love you, Phibby.
Phibby: Yes, I know.
Gourry: YAY! (runs into the kitchen)
NoV: (sinks into a pile of plush) Ahhhhh...this is paradise.
Xelloss: BTW, what is this particular ficcie about?
NoV: (sits up slightly) Didn't you read the summary?
Xelloss: Umm..no?
NoV: (giggle) It's funny.
Xelloss: Oh-kay...
Bishounen: Why do I always end up in the closet?
Phibby: Because we're all waiting for you to come out of the closet.
Bishounen: Yes, I hafta do that in every fic.
NoV: (giggle)
Xelloss: You know, they're taking advantage of your stupidity.
Bishounen: They are?
Xelloss: ...yes. They are.
Bishounen: Wow!
Xelloss: It's..um...not a good thing.
Bishounen: Oh. Boo.
Xelloss: NEVERMIND!!
NoV: Let's begin our first ficcie broadcast from Cutie Corner!!
**
Gourry liked things that were simple. Things like teepees and inch worms. Things that didn't require any brain power to think about. Things like butter.
Butter was such a versatile substance that was essential to so many other substances.
Often, he liked to eat it all by itself, right out of the box.
On one such occasion, he had stuffed himself into a lazy-boy, with the TV on, and had a whole tub of butter in his lap.
"There's nothing that can even COMPARE to the beautifulness of butter, TV, and this really big chair!" he exclaimed. "And, plus, my favorite show, Sailor Moon is on!"
"We will return to Sailor Moon in about thirty minutes after our commercial break," the announcer said.
Gourry started to lower the foot of his chair to get up. "I'll go get some popcorn while the commercials are on!" he said to himself.
"Don't go away!" the announcer interrupted.
"But, I-" Gourry began.
"SIT!! If you go anywhere, your life will be destroyed and inflicted with pain, agony, and serious injuries!!!" the TV warned.
"Oh-kay, oh-kay!!!" the blond shrieked, plopping himself down.
"That's better."
The first commercial came on. A beautiful floral garden was portrayed. I girl with a Romanesque-like dress on came running through the garden maze. She ran up a flight of steps, at the top of which was Fabio.
She handed him a plate of margarine.
He looked into her eyes, dreamily, and said, "I can't believe it's not butter."
Back in the room, Gourry's eyes had grown big and round. "He's my HERO," he uttered, spaced-out.
On the TV, a voice came over the scene of the brand of butter on the screen.
"How would YOU like to be the next Fabio?" he asked.
"I'd like it more than anything in the entire universe!!!" Gourry cried.
"Would you like to be a celebrity, make commercials, and have tons of butter at your dispense?"
"YES, YES, AND YES!!!!" the swordsman shouted, hopping out of his chair.
"Well, just come down to Butter Studios, and audition, or call 1-800- BUTTER!"
"I'll do it!!!" Gourry cried, jumping up and down in the room. He raced out of the room to tell Lina and the others about this. Suddenly, something occurred to him and he rushed back inside. "Where IS Butter Studios?" he wondered.
"Butter Studios is right nextdoor to the inn that you're umm..in."
"Thanks!" Gourry exclaimed, running back out.
"You're welcome!" the TV called back to him.
**
Lina was enjoying her lunch very much. After all, she had easily gotten rid of her biggest competition by giving him a TV, a chair, and some butter. She was free to chomp and chew to her heart's content.
Amelia, Zelgadis, and Xelloss watched her as she all but devoured the table. The plates and silverware never had a prayer.
Just then, Gourry burst into the room, smiling very widely.
Lina dove on top of the table, covering her food. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF MY FOOD, YOU PIG!!!!" she yelled.
Gourry stared blankly at her for a few moments. He giggled and ruffled her hair. "No, you silly Lina! I don't want your food! ...ooh! Chicken!!!"
"AAG!!" Lina shrieked, biting Gourry's hand as it reached for the chicken leg.
"Ow!!" the blond cried out in pain. "Oh, sorry. Guess what, you guys!!"
All four of them just blinked at him.
Gourry was uninhibited by this. "I just figured out my DESTINY!!!"
"To be a side show strong man?" Xelloss suggested.
"Nope." He shook his head.
"To be a champion of Justice, just like my hero, Sailor Moon??" Amelia squeaked, her eyes growing large.
"Nope."
"You finally figured out that your hair needs to be cut?" Zelgadis wondered, sipping his coffee.
"No! My hair is PART of my destiny! I'd never cut it!" Gourry protested, stroking his blond mane of hair.
"Then what? What is your destiny, Gourry?" Lina demanded, sharply.
"Gee, I feel like I'm on a game show," the swordsman said, with a goofy face. "It'd be like 'Name Your Destiny!' But..anyway.."
"TELL US ALREADY!!!!!" Lina roared.
"Oh, right." Gourry smiled. "I'm gonna be the next Fabio on the butter commercials!!"
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: Intermissiony.
Xelloss: SO, Goo-chan's gonna be that blond guy who talks with the Ah-nold accent?
NoV: Yep. (giggle) Hey, did you know that while Fabio was riding a roller coaster he got hit in the head by a duck? (laughs hysterically)
Xelloss: I did not know that.
Gourry: That would be funny.
NoV: I wish I could have SEEN it!!! (laughs more)
Xelloss: Ahh!!! I can't believe it's not a goose!!!! Bonk.
NoV: (laughs more) Stop making me laugh!!!
Xelloss: It would be even funnier if there were an entire flock of ducks ramming him in the head.
NoV: (laughs harder)
Xelloss: And then some pigeons could all poop on him.
NoV: (tears roll down her cheeks from laughing so hard)
Xelloss: And when he finally got off the roller coaster, he says, 'I can't believe I paid fifty bucks for that!'
NoV: Ohhh.. (stops laughing, finally) Now, you've done it. (glares at Xelloss) And you're gonna PAY. MUAHAHA!!! (tackles Xelloss and starts tickling him)
Xelloss: (giggling hysterically) Please stop!! No more!! Bwahahaha!!
NoV: (pauses momentarily) Want more? Tell me if you do!! (starts tickling again)
Phibby: (walks in) Hey! The pizza's here!! You guys-want some? I guess not. More for me!!!
NoV: (Doesn't look up from her victim) Join us for part two!