"I figured there'd be few tears" he wrote,wincing as the empty glass
he'd set beside him fell to the floor,"Who's left to mourn me?"
Luka ran a hand through his hair, cursing his now heavy, labored
breathing.
"I've been in pain so long, it's hard to tell when I should smile, or when
I should cry"
He didn't curse when his elbow knocked the empty pill bottle to the
floor, knocked the pictures onto the floor. The pictures he usually
jumped and grabbed before the memories could touch the floor.
"I've come to hate the way life just goes on, without a mention
of the past. Ignoring the roots I've laid,no matter where they
were, no matter how shallow."
The memory stuck out like a bad taste in his mouth. Holding her hand,
"I'm happy for you" he managed to squeeze out.
Carter watched over her shoulder. Her new protector.
"Really, Luka?"
He nodded slowly."You deserve this"
He didn't lie, Luka wrote now, a slow haze crawling over his eyelids.
He was happy for her. There was just that hunger, and confusion in
her eyes that scared him.
"Think about it now. Just take some time to think about all my sacrifice,
the things I did for you"
The words fell sloppily on the paper, the inside of his hand crawling
with cold. Luka shrugged off the growing fear deep inside, and kept
writing.
He blinked, trying to lift the haze, waiting to finish his letter.
"I saw it there. Your confusion. I never meant to hurt you. I never
meant to leave Croatia. I wasn't supposed to leave the rubbage where I
left my family to die"
He was too tired to cry, but he felt the pressure deep in his chest, the
lump in his throat.
"I gave up so to find you"
Luka dropped his pen, sobbing with whatever energy he had left.
"I lost so much instead" Luka muttered, over and over, curling up on
the couch."I lost so much"
He closed his eyes, and gave one last sigh.
************************
So tired, tired of this drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
***********************
She sat on the couch, hands in her hair.
Photos lay on the floor, the glass that had held the last of his
run, smashed on the floor.
She saw where he'd pushed away the chair, the vase he'd pushed over as
he stumbled to the couch.
Pages were everywhere. Just trains of thought that made her blood
run cold.
"Hey Abby?" Carter leaned against the doorway,"Almost ready?"
She looked up from the page in her hand."I gave up so much to find
you" it read, his handwriting large and slobby. Almost childlike.
"Abby?"
"No" she winced at the sound of her pained voice."No, I want..I have
to stay here"
He shook his head,"I don't think Luka cares, Abby"
"You can go" quick tears raced down her cheeks,"It's been nice Carter"
she crawled off the couch, heart racing as she tried to see through
her own haze,walking towards the door.
"You don't mean it. You're just all worked up over this" he
waved his hand.
She shook her head,"Go"
Carter turned around, walking down the long hall way, not looking
back.
"Just take time to think about my sacrifice, the things I did for
you"
Abby pulled his large coat over her shoulders, curling back into the couch
that still smelled like him.
All she could do, her eyes squeezed tight, was cry.
**********
What a player, fool
Go through ups and downs
Nowhere and all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was a long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
he'd set beside him fell to the floor,"Who's left to mourn me?"
Luka ran a hand through his hair, cursing his now heavy, labored
breathing.
"I've been in pain so long, it's hard to tell when I should smile, or when
I should cry"
He didn't curse when his elbow knocked the empty pill bottle to the
floor, knocked the pictures onto the floor. The pictures he usually
jumped and grabbed before the memories could touch the floor.
"I've come to hate the way life just goes on, without a mention
of the past. Ignoring the roots I've laid,no matter where they
were, no matter how shallow."
The memory stuck out like a bad taste in his mouth. Holding her hand,
"I'm happy for you" he managed to squeeze out.
Carter watched over her shoulder. Her new protector.
"Really, Luka?"
He nodded slowly."You deserve this"
He didn't lie, Luka wrote now, a slow haze crawling over his eyelids.
He was happy for her. There was just that hunger, and confusion in
her eyes that scared him.
"Think about it now. Just take some time to think about all my sacrifice,
the things I did for you"
The words fell sloppily on the paper, the inside of his hand crawling
with cold. Luka shrugged off the growing fear deep inside, and kept
writing.
He blinked, trying to lift the haze, waiting to finish his letter.
"I saw it there. Your confusion. I never meant to hurt you. I never
meant to leave Croatia. I wasn't supposed to leave the rubbage where I
left my family to die"
He was too tired to cry, but he felt the pressure deep in his chest, the
lump in his throat.
"I gave up so to find you"
Luka dropped his pen, sobbing with whatever energy he had left.
"I lost so much instead" Luka muttered, over and over, curling up on
the couch."I lost so much"
He closed his eyes, and gave one last sigh.
************************
So tired, tired of this drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
***********************
She sat on the couch, hands in her hair.
Photos lay on the floor, the glass that had held the last of his
run, smashed on the floor.
She saw where he'd pushed away the chair, the vase he'd pushed over as
he stumbled to the couch.
Pages were everywhere. Just trains of thought that made her blood
run cold.
"Hey Abby?" Carter leaned against the doorway,"Almost ready?"
She looked up from the page in her hand."I gave up so much to find
you" it read, his handwriting large and slobby. Almost childlike.
"Abby?"
"No" she winced at the sound of her pained voice."No, I want..I have
to stay here"
He shook his head,"I don't think Luka cares, Abby"
"You can go" quick tears raced down her cheeks,"It's been nice Carter"
she crawled off the couch, heart racing as she tried to see through
her own haze,walking towards the door.
"You don't mean it. You're just all worked up over this" he
waved his hand.
She shook her head,"Go"
Carter turned around, walking down the long hall way, not looking
back.
"Just take time to think about my sacrifice, the things I did for
you"
Abby pulled his large coat over her shoulders, curling back into the couch
that still smelled like him.
All she could do, her eyes squeezed tight, was cry.
**********
What a player, fool
Go through ups and downs
Nowhere and all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was a long ago
I don't wanna cry no more