*** I do not own the WWF and I do not know any of the people in this story. Also, anyone who's reading "Who I Am" I'm really sorry I haven't added anything recently, but I'm really having writers block right now. This song was calling out to me. But I'll try and get back to my story soon! PLEASE REVIEW!!! ***
// I was never really breathing
My heart was never really beating
Until you held me in your arms.
And every love that didn't last
Every second of my past
Simply disappeared into the dark. //
I couldn't explain it if I tried. There's just no way to tell anyone how you could fall in love with the same woman over and over and over again. But here I am, once again in love with a woman who has broken my heart at least five or six times. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe it was only twice...but three strikes and you're out, right?
She's not the woman I met anymore though. You'd think that would allow me to resist her. But every now and then I see in her that same sweet girl who captured my heart years ago. She still has those clear blue eyes...and when she's smiles it's like the past never happened. It's like she's Stephanie McMahon again, and she's in love with me.
I will tell anyone now that I got involved with Stephanie because she was the boss' daughter and there is no better way to get to the top fast than through Vince's Little Girl. But the truth is that Stephanie was terrified through that ordeal with the Undertaker and all I wanted to do that whole time was protect her. I didn't even know her at the time...but I swore I would get to know her and make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again.
I never knew what it was to truly want a woman until I held her in my arms. She was innocent but alluring at the same time. She was everything I could ever want in a woman...but I never truly had her. If anyone truly ruled Stephanie she wouldn't be Stephanie anymore. She is supposed to be part mystery...that's part of who she is.
How I managed to convince her to marry me is beyond me. I'm nothing special. I'm an above-average wrestler but she could have had any wrestler she wanted at the time. Everyone loved Stephanie while I was dating her. Even Rocky and Jericho were nice to her and tried to make her laugh from time to time. I think they loved her smile as much as everyone else did.
I remember vividly the months leading up to our wedding. She was with me while I picked out a tuxedo. She forced me into helping her decide which flowers would be used, what food we would have, what our first song would be. Looking back, I realize how precious this time with Stephanie was. No one else as ever seen her so excited about one day, only me. She never planned another wedding in detail. Part of me thinks it was as special to her as it was to me.
When I found out she was married to HHH I was devastated. Hell, I found out when she found out. If I had been a good, supportive significant other, I would have been by her side through the whole ordeal. I would have held her while she cried, I would have helped her make the right decision. Maybe if I had actually been there for her she wouldn't have allied herself with Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
And now I'm back in her camp. I'm doing her dirty work for her. But I would be lying if I said I was doing it all to get ahead...because I'm not. I didn't come to the Alliance because Shane is my friend, I came because Stephanie was there. And she's making a lot of enemies. And her idiot of a husband isn't around to protect her. She needs someone to take care of her. While there's no one else around, it might as well be me. I'm already in love with her. What else can I lose?
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending
You made time stand still
And I'm loving every minute //
Every now and then I wonder how many men have been lucky enough to hold her. I know Test held her what seemed like years ago. Kurt has had her in his arms at least twice. And so has that jerk Jericho. But I'm the one she comes home to. I'm the one she's stuck with for life...even though she never actually said "I do".
That gets to me even now. I managed to talk her into staying with me, into giving me a chance at helping her gain some measure of revenge. I helped her change into someone who would make her father regret everything he had ever done to hurt her. I was the one who tried to change the McMahon to fit me. In the process she changed me.
Sure, I was still consumed with gaining power and being the best there was...but she was what I prized most in this world. I had never placed a person ahead of my career before. I had never found someone who completely amazed me before. Someone who I wanted to show how special I could be.
Stephanie really was devastated when she found out exactly what I had done to her. She came to me one night, tears in her eyes and asked me how I could ruin her hopes and dreams. She asked if she hadn't already been through enough. Didn't she deserve some happiness? I had second thoughts about everything I had done in those short moments.
I then set about trying to convince her that I could give her what Test never could. I could give her a chance to bring her father to his knees. Together we could make him actually feel remorse. She looked at me with wounded eyes and walked out of the room.
I didn't know what was going to happen at that Armageddon. I didn't know Stephanie would decide to make her father pay. I thought maybe she wasn't as McMahon as I had thought she was at the time. Boy, did she have me fooled. She's more like her dad than Shane is. She doesn't care who she pisses off or who she hurts. She doesn't care who she has to step over.
I wonder if she's ever been in love before. I never thought I would ever fall in love. I never thought one kiss would make all the difference in the world. That first kiss though, it changed me, and it's been changing me ever since. She has the ability to make you feel like you're staying the same until you've already changed. And then you feel like it's pointless to change back...because then you won't have her in your life anymore.
// It's a need that never changes
A passion that is ageless
It consumes me like it did when it was new
You have led me to a place
Where every day's the same
And I'm always falling more in love with you. //
I've had her once. I wouldn't say I compromised my integrity, because I loved her. I loved her from that very first hug. I didn't know she had a crush on me. Edge told me one night before a match that he had overheard Stephanie talking about me and how she wanted to touch my medals. I hadn't really looked at her before.
When I first came to the federation, Stephanie was days away from becoming Mrs. Andrew Martin. I was so hell-bent on being the best damn wrestler in the WWF that I didn't really pay attention to anyone. I didn't realize how people perceived me, I didn't know who my friends were. I didn't know anything. I did know when Stephanie turned her back on her father. From the rant Vince had, it was hard not to know.
But when I found out Stephanie McMahon had a crush on me, excuse me, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, I was amazed. I was just some amateur wrestler that happened to be making some pretty big waves. I was just a guy from Pittsburgh who had never had any luck with women. I was just Kurt Angle, and what business did I have even dreaming that Stephanie could like me.
I was there for her during her rough spot with that jerk of a husband. How he could not realize how special she is, I don't know. She's perfect to me. She's this beautiful woman who is smart enough not to use her body to get what she wants. And she turned to me for comfort. For a month we were close friends. I kissed her twice on television. And I had one unforgettable night with her.
She had been with me in the ER and then she took me to my hotel room. She was really only going to drop me off and make sure I was okay, because I had made sure she was okay. But one thing led to another and I had a one-night stand with Stephanie. It was the most special night of my life. In one night, I held her in my arms. For one night, I was the only man in her world.
I regret the hell that our night together caused on her marriage. She seems to genuinely care about her husband. I just hope he realizes exactly how lucky he is to have her in his life. I don't know how much longer she will stay with him though. I'm pretty sure she doesn't love him. If she loved him, she wouldn't have slept with me. But I don't think any of us truly know Stephanie either.
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending.
You made time stand still
And I'm loving every minute //
What is love? Someone asked me that and I was actually stumped. How can you know what love is until you've actually experienced it? And even then, it's hard to explain.
Andrew was a sweet guy. He helped me through a really difficult time in my life. He made me feel like I was the sweet little girl who deserved love. He made me feel safe from all of the evils that lurked outside of my door. We went through so much together...I can barely remember where it all fell apart. And it was me who let it fall apart. I let something be more important than whatever feelings I might have had for him.
Even now, I know he would be there for me if I truly needed him to be there for me. I know he would save me from whatever evil may capture me. Maybe he sees me as a grown woman now, who can handle an adult relationship. But the truth is, he really hurt me when he didn't try and help me through that month right after our near-marriage. I might have taken a completely different path, but who wants to think about what-ifs? Andrew and I are friends now...and I don't want anything more from him.
Do I love my husband? I don't think so. He isn't really that great of a person. He is too consumed by power and wealth to really make me fall for him. I already have all the power and wealth I could possibly need. I don't need anymore. Maybe if he had given me something different I could have fallen in love with him. Maybe if he had shown me real, true emotions I could have fallen.
As it is, the closest he's ever come is when he fought that last man standing match with Chris Jericho. That was the only match he's ever fought only for me. I know people will say that he's fought plenty of matches in my honor, but Shane's fought in more matches for me. Andrew has too. Hell, RVD has fought in two for me...and he's the most egotistical person in this world. If my husband could show me that he cared for me, maybe I could reciprocate those feelings.
Despite the rumors, I've only had one affair, if you can call it that. And one fling. For a marriage that was based on one person getting power and the other getting revenge, I think that's pretty good. One fling that really meant very little. I think I was lonely at the time. And Kurt was the only person who had the guts to befriend me, despite my husband.
And one affair.
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending.
You made time stand still ...
And I'm loving every minute //
So if you ask me what love is, I can say yes. Yes, I know I seemed like I was dancing around the subject, but mostly because there are few people who would ever believe me. I'm in love with a man who doesn't care what other people think about him. He doesn't even care what I think about him. He doesn't care about much in this world.
I hated him. I truly did. How could so one who had never had a conversation with me pretend to know who I was, what I did in my spare time? And he continued to make fun of me, to pretend he knew me. Then he kissed me and everything else just faded away. I confronted him right afterwards and he kissed me again! He told me all the names he had ever called me was just how he tried to gain my attention.
And that was how it all started. He doesn't want anyone to think that I am helping him get to the top. And he didn't want me to help him. So we continue to bicker. But I live for the nights I have with him. The nights with my Chris Jericho.
// I was never really breathing
My heart was never really beating
Until you held me in your arms.
And every love that didn't last
Every second of my past
Simply disappeared into the dark. //
I couldn't explain it if I tried. There's just no way to tell anyone how you could fall in love with the same woman over and over and over again. But here I am, once again in love with a woman who has broken my heart at least five or six times. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe it was only twice...but three strikes and you're out, right?
She's not the woman I met anymore though. You'd think that would allow me to resist her. But every now and then I see in her that same sweet girl who captured my heart years ago. She still has those clear blue eyes...and when she's smiles it's like the past never happened. It's like she's Stephanie McMahon again, and she's in love with me.
I will tell anyone now that I got involved with Stephanie because she was the boss' daughter and there is no better way to get to the top fast than through Vince's Little Girl. But the truth is that Stephanie was terrified through that ordeal with the Undertaker and all I wanted to do that whole time was protect her. I didn't even know her at the time...but I swore I would get to know her and make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again.
I never knew what it was to truly want a woman until I held her in my arms. She was innocent but alluring at the same time. She was everything I could ever want in a woman...but I never truly had her. If anyone truly ruled Stephanie she wouldn't be Stephanie anymore. She is supposed to be part mystery...that's part of who she is.
How I managed to convince her to marry me is beyond me. I'm nothing special. I'm an above-average wrestler but she could have had any wrestler she wanted at the time. Everyone loved Stephanie while I was dating her. Even Rocky and Jericho were nice to her and tried to make her laugh from time to time. I think they loved her smile as much as everyone else did.
I remember vividly the months leading up to our wedding. She was with me while I picked out a tuxedo. She forced me into helping her decide which flowers would be used, what food we would have, what our first song would be. Looking back, I realize how precious this time with Stephanie was. No one else as ever seen her so excited about one day, only me. She never planned another wedding in detail. Part of me thinks it was as special to her as it was to me.
When I found out she was married to HHH I was devastated. Hell, I found out when she found out. If I had been a good, supportive significant other, I would have been by her side through the whole ordeal. I would have held her while she cried, I would have helped her make the right decision. Maybe if I had actually been there for her she wouldn't have allied herself with Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
And now I'm back in her camp. I'm doing her dirty work for her. But I would be lying if I said I was doing it all to get ahead...because I'm not. I didn't come to the Alliance because Shane is my friend, I came because Stephanie was there. And she's making a lot of enemies. And her idiot of a husband isn't around to protect her. She needs someone to take care of her. While there's no one else around, it might as well be me. I'm already in love with her. What else can I lose?
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending
You made time stand still
And I'm loving every minute //
Every now and then I wonder how many men have been lucky enough to hold her. I know Test held her what seemed like years ago. Kurt has had her in his arms at least twice. And so has that jerk Jericho. But I'm the one she comes home to. I'm the one she's stuck with for life...even though she never actually said "I do".
That gets to me even now. I managed to talk her into staying with me, into giving me a chance at helping her gain some measure of revenge. I helped her change into someone who would make her father regret everything he had ever done to hurt her. I was the one who tried to change the McMahon to fit me. In the process she changed me.
Sure, I was still consumed with gaining power and being the best there was...but she was what I prized most in this world. I had never placed a person ahead of my career before. I had never found someone who completely amazed me before. Someone who I wanted to show how special I could be.
Stephanie really was devastated when she found out exactly what I had done to her. She came to me one night, tears in her eyes and asked me how I could ruin her hopes and dreams. She asked if she hadn't already been through enough. Didn't she deserve some happiness? I had second thoughts about everything I had done in those short moments.
I then set about trying to convince her that I could give her what Test never could. I could give her a chance to bring her father to his knees. Together we could make him actually feel remorse. She looked at me with wounded eyes and walked out of the room.
I didn't know what was going to happen at that Armageddon. I didn't know Stephanie would decide to make her father pay. I thought maybe she wasn't as McMahon as I had thought she was at the time. Boy, did she have me fooled. She's more like her dad than Shane is. She doesn't care who she pisses off or who she hurts. She doesn't care who she has to step over.
I wonder if she's ever been in love before. I never thought I would ever fall in love. I never thought one kiss would make all the difference in the world. That first kiss though, it changed me, and it's been changing me ever since. She has the ability to make you feel like you're staying the same until you've already changed. And then you feel like it's pointless to change back...because then you won't have her in your life anymore.
// It's a need that never changes
A passion that is ageless
It consumes me like it did when it was new
You have led me to a place
Where every day's the same
And I'm always falling more in love with you. //
I've had her once. I wouldn't say I compromised my integrity, because I loved her. I loved her from that very first hug. I didn't know she had a crush on me. Edge told me one night before a match that he had overheard Stephanie talking about me and how she wanted to touch my medals. I hadn't really looked at her before.
When I first came to the federation, Stephanie was days away from becoming Mrs. Andrew Martin. I was so hell-bent on being the best damn wrestler in the WWF that I didn't really pay attention to anyone. I didn't realize how people perceived me, I didn't know who my friends were. I didn't know anything. I did know when Stephanie turned her back on her father. From the rant Vince had, it was hard not to know.
But when I found out Stephanie McMahon had a crush on me, excuse me, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, I was amazed. I was just some amateur wrestler that happened to be making some pretty big waves. I was just a guy from Pittsburgh who had never had any luck with women. I was just Kurt Angle, and what business did I have even dreaming that Stephanie could like me.
I was there for her during her rough spot with that jerk of a husband. How he could not realize how special she is, I don't know. She's perfect to me. She's this beautiful woman who is smart enough not to use her body to get what she wants. And she turned to me for comfort. For a month we were close friends. I kissed her twice on television. And I had one unforgettable night with her.
She had been with me in the ER and then she took me to my hotel room. She was really only going to drop me off and make sure I was okay, because I had made sure she was okay. But one thing led to another and I had a one-night stand with Stephanie. It was the most special night of my life. In one night, I held her in my arms. For one night, I was the only man in her world.
I regret the hell that our night together caused on her marriage. She seems to genuinely care about her husband. I just hope he realizes exactly how lucky he is to have her in his life. I don't know how much longer she will stay with him though. I'm pretty sure she doesn't love him. If she loved him, she wouldn't have slept with me. But I don't think any of us truly know Stephanie either.
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending.
You made time stand still
And I'm loving every minute //
What is love? Someone asked me that and I was actually stumped. How can you know what love is until you've actually experienced it? And even then, it's hard to explain.
Andrew was a sweet guy. He helped me through a really difficult time in my life. He made me feel like I was the sweet little girl who deserved love. He made me feel safe from all of the evils that lurked outside of my door. We went through so much together...I can barely remember where it all fell apart. And it was me who let it fall apart. I let something be more important than whatever feelings I might have had for him.
Even now, I know he would be there for me if I truly needed him to be there for me. I know he would save me from whatever evil may capture me. Maybe he sees me as a grown woman now, who can handle an adult relationship. But the truth is, he really hurt me when he didn't try and help me through that month right after our near-marriage. I might have taken a completely different path, but who wants to think about what-ifs? Andrew and I are friends now...and I don't want anything more from him.
Do I love my husband? I don't think so. He isn't really that great of a person. He is too consumed by power and wealth to really make me fall for him. I already have all the power and wealth I could possibly need. I don't need anymore. Maybe if he had given me something different I could have fallen in love with him. Maybe if he had shown me real, true emotions I could have fallen.
As it is, the closest he's ever come is when he fought that last man standing match with Chris Jericho. That was the only match he's ever fought only for me. I know people will say that he's fought plenty of matches in my honor, but Shane's fought in more matches for me. Andrew has too. Hell, RVD has fought in two for me...and he's the most egotistical person in this world. If my husband could show me that he cared for me, maybe I could reciprocate those feelings.
Despite the rumors, I've only had one affair, if you can call it that. And one fling. For a marriage that was based on one person getting power and the other getting revenge, I think that's pretty good. One fling that really meant very little. I think I was lonely at the time. And Kurt was the only person who had the guts to befriend me, despite my husband.
And one affair.
// And with that first kiss
I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment is never ending.
You made time stand still ...
And I'm loving every minute //
So if you ask me what love is, I can say yes. Yes, I know I seemed like I was dancing around the subject, but mostly because there are few people who would ever believe me. I'm in love with a man who doesn't care what other people think about him. He doesn't even care what I think about him. He doesn't care about much in this world.
I hated him. I truly did. How could so one who had never had a conversation with me pretend to know who I was, what I did in my spare time? And he continued to make fun of me, to pretend he knew me. Then he kissed me and everything else just faded away. I confronted him right afterwards and he kissed me again! He told me all the names he had ever called me was just how he tried to gain my attention.
And that was how it all started. He doesn't want anyone to think that I am helping him get to the top. And he didn't want me to help him. So we continue to bicker. But I live for the nights I have with him. The nights with my Chris Jericho.