"Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit it openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognised, or even worse, returned. But one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly inside." –– Sigmund Freud.

Title: Habits
Genres: Romance/Drama
Rating: T
Couple(s): Eren/Annie; Levi/Mikasa

Habits
Chapter 1.

Eren realised he had made a mistake.

The floor above him was loud; people were shouting and screaming, delusional and drugged from alcohol and cannabis. It was frightening, but he had been victim to worse. Dropping his heavy bag to the floor, he glanced between the two beds available. Neither looked comfortable. His roommate hadn't arrived yet, so he stole the bed nearest to the window. Whipping open the moth-eaten curtains, Eren watched the rain slam against the glass; it was a harsh wind tonight.

Before he arrived, they asked for his reasons for being here. A silly question –– Eren's reasons were more than clear. Never had he been subtle with his emotions, and vengeance ran strong in his blood. His heart was exhausted from the amount of anger that had rushed through him for so many years. Finally, he found release; the opportunity to fight. Eren's reasons for being here were solely personal.

Unpacking what little belongings he possessed, he expected to spend the evening alone, until he heard a knock at the door. A familiar face entered and he smiled, 'Mikasa! Have you settled in all right?'

'Yes. God, Eren, it's freezing in here,' his friend replied, stepping inside.

'Ah–– I suppose it is.'

'I guess you've never felt the cold.' Wrapping her arms around herself, Mikasa raised her gaze upwards at the loud noises. 'Good to know you've also had a friendly welcome.'

Eren cringed. 'So, the female barracks aren't quieter?'

'I wish. I bet everything I own that I won't be sleeping tonight.' Sitting on the bed opposite, Mikasa shuffled backwards to rest against the wall. 'Do you have a roommate?'

'No. I don't know. He hasn't arrived, anyway. What about you?'

'Her stuff is here, but I haven't seen her.' Mikasa averted her gaze to the small table between the beds. A funny feelings swelled within her when she spotted a photograph, ripped at the edges and fading. It belonged to Eren. A photograph of their mother and father. How they remembered them, or wanted to remember them: a happy couple, a happy family, full of so much joy and naïvety. Before this war started. This massacre.

Eren made no effort to hide the photograph from view. 'I miss them.'

'So do I,' she admitted. 'But, something tells me no one around here is going to care. Your roommate might be a little snarky if they saw the photograph.'

'He'll just have to deal with it, then.'

'Right. Well, I'm not saving your behind if he threatens you. People around here are pretty sensitive about personal loss.'

'I can look after myself!' Eren replied. 'It's not like I'm going to be rubbing the photograph in his face.' Picking the photo up, he sighed. 'Anyway, it's mine. If he doesn't want it around, then he's going to have a damn good reason why not.'

Mikasa shrugged, and stood to her feet. 'Don't say I didn't warn you.' He looked at her and smiled knowingly. 'I should head back.'

Eren let her leave, but just before she opened the door, he swivelled around on his heel and asked: 'You're with me on this, right? You don't think this is a mistake, do you?'

Mikasa's usually tense shoulders dropped slightly. 'I'm always with you, Eren. Don't start doubting what we're doing now of all times. You were the one insisting we do this.'

'I know. I just need to be sure.'

Yet all she offered was a nod, a short smile, and left.

Alone, Eren slowly sat on the bed, photograph still in hand. He hadn't thought about his mother's death in weeks –– he couldn't. Not out of fear or sadness; he wasn't sure why. It was as if his mind had automatically blocked the memory out, some sort of self-defence. A protection for his fragile head. But that didn't mean he ever forgot why he was so driven to become a soldier, to fight and win. It was a passion that had stuck with him; one he couldn't get rid of. However, passion could be torturous, addictive. Dangerous.

The moment he stepped off the vehicle, the moment his feet touched the sandy ground, he knew there wasn't any turning back. There wasn't any return. They signed in him, and didn't even smile or thank him for joining. It was a little sick how they made the recruits line up, form a queue, sign themselves down for death. They were all just human waste. They would be sported with uniform, an identity, but they were just "others". None of them would be remembered individually; they were simply pathetic pawns believing they were doing good.

No wonder he hadn't been welcomed. Welcomed to what? Hell.

Mikasa was with him, though. At least someone would remember him. They hadn't needed to discuss death. Both were aware of their awaiting fates. It was only a matter of time until one of them slipped away. However, Eren was ready. He was ready to step out of the walls, and give his life. He wanted to die doing something he had strived to do for years. He wanted to die avenging his mother, and those closest to him who were brutally murdered.

When he finally slipped into bed, his back pressing into the piercing springs, he realised he hadn't made a mistake. This was the right thing to do. Pulling the sheet over his body, he shivered, and for the first time felt the cold.

Like every other night for the past five years –– since the passing of his mother –– Eren didn't sleep well.

It was early. Far too early. A horrible, obnoxious siren wailed in the halls. Eren fell out of bed, and grabbed his trousers and shirt. The bed next to him was still empty. His roommate hadn't arrived yet, but Eren had no time to think. He rushed out of his room, accidentally colliding into a meaty boy who pushed him back, his cronies snorting at the attack. A spark of anger rushed through Eren, but he was wise to ignore the emotion, and followed all of the boys outside.

The rain had stopped from last night, but there wasn't any sun. Just a grey sky. The training grounds called for them, and Eren lined up with the others. He searched for Mikasa, and spotted her with a crowd of girls, who were also lined up, waiting for orders from their sergeant. Eren felt a rush, and he shuddered unexpectedly. It was their first day, and he was already trembling with adrenaline. When their sergeant arrived, Eren instantly saluted with everyone else.

What came out of the sergeant's mouth was nothing short of poison. 'It took you all more than fucking seven minutes to get your lazy asses out of bed! I swear, if this happens tomorrow, you're all going to wish you'd have been shot dead years ago. You know, when I look at all of you, I see nothing but waste. You may think you're something by signing up, but you ain't shit! By the time I'm finished with you you'll be vomiting your own insides; you'll be pissing blood and eating the crap from my boots.'

The sergeant stormed over towards Eren's section, but Eren didn't stumble or show any signs of fear. He wasn't afraid. He wanted the sergeant to look at him so he could stare right back. But when he did, Eren inhaled sharply. He didn't know how he missed it before. The sergeant was missing an eye, but he had made no effort to hide his ugly wound. His eyelid covered the empty hole, but it was swollen and inflamed, too heavy to open. A horrid scar was across one side of his face and he had a permanent scowl.

'Most of you will be scared of death, and you know what? I want you to be scared of death. Right now, that's the only thing you wimps are capable of doing! Being scared. None of you are ready for what awaits you out there –– you'll all be running away with your tail between your legs. Each of you can forget the names your precious mommas gave you –– you won't be needing them here! Here you don't have an identity, a soul, or memories from your bright, beautiful, revolting past. It's over, sweethearts. The merry days where you were children and picking daisies has gone; it never happened. Your loved ones never happened –– you will forget your family, like they will forget you. Once you're a soldier, you don't look back. No one sheds a tear here.'

A disturbing silence filled the training grounds, and the sergeant found his first victim. A boy, relatively small, who seemed to be trembling from where Eren was standing. The sergeant reached out and ripped a necklace from the boy's throat.

'If I see any of you sulky brats carrying around an item that means something to you,' he scoffed, 'I'll first have it crushed––' Effortlessly, the sergeant clenched his hand around the necklace, and in seconds it broke. '––And then I'll have you feeling nothing but humiliation for the next week. Oi, brat,' he turned to the boy again, 'I have a job for you: the toilets aren't as shiny here as they are back home. You'll be the one cleaning the shit after us. With a toothbrush. Don't like it? No problem, kiddo. You can wipe it all away with your tongue.'

No one spoke, not even the boy, who quietly whimpered. Eren swallowed, but continued to look straight onwards. It was clear: no fair game was played. Everyone was everyone's toy. Kill, or be killed. Survival of the fittest. A man-eat-man world.

'What do you all think you're doing? Move those backs of yours! I'll have you running around like scared, little girls for the next three hours. Go, go, fucking go!'

No one needed to be told twice. Instantly the crowd of recruits obeyed. While they ran, Eren felt numb, and his head was spinning with so many thoughts he didn't know how to react. Yet, strangely, he was happy. He was okay with what was happening. This was what he wanted; he didn't want to live the illusion that everything was perfect and harmonious. After what he had witnessed, nothing would ever be the same again.

Eren didn't stop running until his stomach caved in.

'Are you feeling any better?'

The soup or mush or whatever his food was didn't look appetising. Eren gulped. 'Sort of.'

Mikasa was smarter than him, and ate her meal, even if is tasted like water. She had to keep her energy up for training in a couple of hours. Their timetables had been handed to them, and Eren was relieved that they only had cardio for three hours every morning. What perked his interest, though, was the martial-arts; self-defence. Maybe he'd be able to specialise in that more so than with the cardio. Clearly he didn't do so well in that area.

The other recruits were disturbingly quiet –– in fact, Eren only heard one boy talking. Rubbing his temple, he looked over to Mikasa. 'My roommate still hasn't arrived. I'm starting to think he called it quits before he got here.'

'Maybe.'

'What else would you do, though? Training to become a soldier is the most honourable way to go.'

Mikasa didn't feel as strongly as Eren did, but she understood him. She was there when Eren decided what he was going to do; she was there when tears were streaming down his cheeks, fire burning in his eyes, threatening their enemy from miles away that he was going to kill them. All of them. That he, himself, would end this war.

'There are other options as well, Eren. Who do you think feeds the town, or makes our weapons and uniforms? If it weren't for farmers, merchants or doctors –– anything along those lines, you probably wouldn't be here.'

'It just sounds like a free pass to avoid death. A coward's way out.'

'That's not fair, Eren.'

'Isn't it? Mikasa, I didn't join the army for the fun of it. I joined because I wanted to fight, and I don't understand how anyone else wouldn't want to either.'

'Eren, lower your voice,' Mikasa hushed, suddenly aware several recruits were listening in on their conversation.

'Why? It's the truth. I'm willing to give my life in order to save hundreds, and everyone else here should feel the same. For the record, not everyone here has seen what I've seen –– what we've seen. The way they kill people; what they did to our mother––'

'Stop it!' Mikasa kicked him under the table.

'Ow! What the––?'

'You have a temper, Eren. Control it for once. People can hear you, and...' She paused, then lowered her voice to a whisper, '...not everyone agrees with you.'

Eren didn't reply. Instead he looked around him, now consciously aware that they had a small audience. Some recruits looked shocked and insulted, while others stared at him, hatred clear in their expressions. Eren felt his ears burn in embarrassment, but he couldn't believe he was being looked at like this, when his argument was reasonable.

For Mikasa's sake, though, he tried his best to ignore the rage building within him. 'Sorry.'

'No, no. I want to hear the rest of what you have to say.'

Eren whipped around, and saw a dark-haired, short-statured, but well built male looking down on him. He had shadows under his eyes, and his thoughts were clear by his expression. Whoever this man was, he didn't appear impressed, but he wasn't willing to sit around and let Eren talk as he pleased. Slowly, Eren stood to his feet, and was proud he was a couple of inches taller, but their differences in height was barely noticeable. Or relevant.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Mikasa watching the other male intently. If he tried anything funny, she wouldn't hesitate to give him a piece of her mind.

'... I think I've said everything.'

The shorter male raised a brow. 'Really? Oh. That's a shame.'

Eren frowned, and clenched a fist. This boy was mocking him. 'What?'

'I've seen your type before: full of confidence at first, but once they're challenged, they back down. You have the audacity to insult everyone here, while you don't even have the courage to speak when approached.'

'I wasn't insulting anyone!' Eren retorted. The mess hall was completely silent, and all faces had turned to them.

The shorter male snorted, and rolled his eyes. 'That temper of yours won't get you anywhere, brat. It only makes you appear weaker.'

'You don't know anything about me or what I've been through!'

'True, but you're equally as ignorant about everyone else here.'

Eren wanted to walk away –– he wasn't sure whether to feel humiliation or anger, but his rage was certainly winning. Shaking, he struggled to form words, 'What do you want?'

'You're the one wanting, kid. Wanting everything for yourself. That's all I heard while you were speaking to your miss.'

Kid? Eren glanced the male up-and-down, hating him. 'Leave me be,' he said, voice quieter.

At first, it looked as if the man was considering it, but he didn't move. Instead, he folded his arms, expression blunt. His tone lacked emotion. 'Is that how you're going to respond to everyone who approaches you? You won't last long if that's your behaviour towards the enemy.'

Eren turned his back to him, and was about to sit down, when the boy added.

'Your mother would be very disappointed.'

Something snapped. It was ugly and monstrous. Eren didn't even realise what he was doing until it was much too late. He swung his fist at the other boy, but he caught it, quickly sending his knee into Eren's stomach. Eren yelped, but tried to hit him with his other fist, without much success. In seconds, Eren was flat on his back, after receiving a punch to the face. Nose bleeding, he sat upright, trying to stand.

A dirty boot smacked him on the chin, and he went flying backwards. He could taste blood in his mouth, and the wind was blown out of him when the other male stomped his foot onto his chest. 'You should know better than to attack your superiors, you waste of sperm.'

Eren could barely understand what he was saying. Inhaling heavily, he raised his head, and was unable to defend himself when the man was about to kick him again. However, before he was able to, a feminine, yet strong hand grabbed his arm and yanked him off Eren. 'Stop this; it's not going to solve anything!'

Mikasa! Ignoring how much agony he was in, Eren shot to his feet, prepared to beat his "superior" if he dared hurt her. However, the shorter male hadn't moved. He looked at Mikasa for a second, then pulled his arm out of her grip. He turned his attention back to Eren again. 'Be grateful you have at least one friend around here. If it weren't for her, I would have crushed every bone in your body.'

Eren swallowed what was mostly blood, and choked, falling to his knees. Mikasa hurried over, placing a hand on his shoulder, and raising his chin to inspect his face properly. 'Eren, are you okay?'

'Yeah...' Eren glanced to where the man stood, but he was gone. Wiping the blood dripping from his lips, he slowly stood to his feet and let Mikasa take him back to the barracks.

In less than an hour, he and Mikasa had to return to the training grounds in order to practise their martial-arts. Fortunately, thanks to the help of Mikasa, Eren was mostly cleaned up from the incident he had with his superior officer. His lower lip was a little swollen, and his chest still hurt, but he was able to walk around fine.

Applying a plaster to a cut on his face, Mikasa said, 'He acted so out of hand, Eren. Superior officer or not, he shouldn't have done this to you.'

'And he said I had anger problems! I wonder who he was.'

'Well, I guess you'll find out sooner or later.'

'Hey,' he said, 'Thanks for stopping him. If it weren't for you, I don't think he would have stopped.'

Mikasa smiled shortly, but lowered her gaze. 'I've always been protecting you whenever you end up in trouble. But, for our sakes, maybe you could try and handle that anger of yours. You know what problems it leads you into. I don't want anyone beating the shit out of you when I'm not around, otherwise you wouldn't last.'

'Come on, I can defend myself.'

'Like you did with that guy? I know.'

Eren didn't appreciate the sarcasm. 'We should be getting to the training grounds.'

'Can you stand?'

Wincing, Eren slowly stood to his feet. It felt as if his stomach was bruised from the inside, and it was difficult to breathe, but–– 'A little beating isn't going to stop me. Let's go.'

Slightly unconvinced, Mikasa made no comment, and together they set off.

Once they were given their orders, Eren and Mikasa were forced to separate with different partners. Eren was paired with someone around his height, but who lacked a great deal of knowledge when it came to sparring. He managed to have the boy flat on his back in less than a minute, however his sergeant barely noticed. Helping the boy up, he realised he had accidentally wounded his nose, causing it to bleed. 'Ah, sorry. I suppose I got too far ahead of myself.'

'It's okay. I just need to practise, is all.' Their gaze met, and the boy smiled. 'I'm Armin –– I know it's none of my business, but I saw you get beaten up by Corporal Levi. Are you all right?'

'Oh, that? It was nothing. I'm fi–– Wait, he was Corporal Levi?'

'Yeah. Apparently he's been transferred back inside the wall, even though he's usually outside of it on the front line. I don't know why, though. Do you know him?'

'No –– I've heard of him.' Eren remembered Levi's expression; how he looked when he swung his fist at him, how he was so unnerved by Eren's behaviour. That was a face of a man who had seen horrors. The sight of a boy losing his temper was a joke. Eren wondered if Levi would be laughing about this later on, with his friends. Some stupid recruit getting angry over nothing, and then getting the shit beat out of him.

Armin seemed to be rather sympathetic about the situation. 'If it helps, I think you were brave. Approaching him like that, I mean.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. I don't think anyone around here has the guts to approach their commanding officer like that.'

Eren decided to not mention he didn't know Levi was his superior, until now. Rubbing the back of his head, he forced a smile. 'Thanks. He wasn't that scary, to be honest. If he were to grow a couple more inches, then he might be a bit intimidating.'

That earned a snort from Armin, but their discussion was interrupted when their sergeant spotted them "idling". After receiving several harsh insults, Eren was dragged away from Armin onto the other side of the training ground. Three boys and a girl there, and two of the boys were on their stomachs, moaning in pain. 'This is pathetic,' the sergeant muttered. 'You call yourselves men when you got pummelled by a girl. Tsk.' Spitting at their feet, he turned his attention to the girl, who looked so bored Eren wondered if something was wrong with her. 'Don't look so cocky. If you're not careful, I'll make sure my finest men will crush one of your lungs.'

It then occurred to Eren she was bored, and the least appreciative of her sergeant's threats. However, she didn't respond.

'For all I care, those pip-squeaks were just weak. I doubt you'll be able to swing a punch at anyone with some muscle. Oi, you!' Horrified, Eren realised he was being spoken to. 'Why don't you show her what I'm talking about? Get that wimpy expression off your face, and act like you got a pair.'

'Yes, sir,' Eren murmured, stepping forwards. The girl was petite, with a slim frame, her blonde hair tied back. From appearances, she didn't seem very strong, and it was a miracle she managed to pin those two boys down. 'Okay then,' he said, 'Show me your wor––' Eren was suddenly cut off, and he thought he was flying for a moment, until he crashed horribly into the hard ground. His shoulder dislocated and he yelled loud, agonising pain shooting from his shoulder to all over his body.

What in the world? Holding his wounded arm, he scrambled to his feet and glared at her. He didn't even see her move.

'How did you do that?' Eren demanded, before wincing.

'If you want, I can show you again,' she dead-paned.

'No!'

'You asked me to show you my worst. That wasn't my worst. I don't want to leave you disappointed.'

This was a joke to her. Eren scowled. 'Fine. Go ahead. Let's see.'

Mistake. Arm floppy at his side, Eren tried to tackle her, but somehow she flipped him over her shoulder, making him smack back onto the ground. Fuck. Eren rolled over onto his back, and stared up at the sky in disbelief. That wasn't possible. How could a recruit know a move like that? She barely moved; she didn't even give him the opportunity to attack her.

Raising himself, he tried to avoid the sergeant's fuming expression. Before he dealt with Eren, he turned to the girl. Looking up at him, she said, 'Am I done now?'

Eren was expecting him to scold her, but it seemed the sergeant was having trouble with what to say. It wasn't just Eren who was in shock then. 'Maybe you are.' Without another word, he stormed away in search of other recruits to assess.

Before she, too, could leave, Eren finally found his feet and hurried over to her. 'Wait, wait. Where did you learn that? And how?'

Stopping, she turned to him. In a way, she almost looked flattered, but more fascinated by his questions. 'My father taught me.'

'Can you teach me?'

Clearly this request was completely new to her. Frowning lightly, she hesitated, then shrugged. 'I suppose I can.' Glancing at his limp arm, she suggested, 'You should probably get that looked at.'

'Yeah,' he muttered, 'Thanks. I swear I am better at combat –– I'm just having a rough day.'

'I saw the Corporal throwing you around.'

'I'm pretty sure everyone did. He liked to make sure the entire mess hall was watching. Attention-seeking.'

'And you're not? From the looks of it, you seemed pretty content on everyone hearing you.'

She had him there. 'At least I didn't back out of the fight.'

'A fight involves both parties to attack, not just one –– you must have forgotten that.'

'... I was going easy on him.'

'Right.'

Eren winced again. The arm in his pain was beginning to get a little too much. 'So –– are you going to teach me some of your techniques?'

'I can do, but, this time, your girlfriend can't come along to save your behind.'

'She's not my girlfriend. She's my sister. And fine, fine.' The tips of his ears burned in embarrassment. 'At least I can put up a fight, right?'

'Not really,' she said bluntly, watching him while he tried to adjust his dislocated arm into a comfortable position. 'Here.' Stepping forwards, Eren thought she was going to help him, but as soon as she grabbed his arm he realised just what she was going to do.

'Oh, God, you don't have to––' Crack! Nothing in his life had hurt so damn much. Gaping wide, Eren did well to keep in the scream that was building its way up. Frozen in place, he wasn't able to thank her or even look at her. '... ow...'

'I'll see you tomorrow, then,' she said, and he spotted a small smile reaching her lips. It had quite an effect on her usual bored, hard-to-read expression. Before he could say a word, she turned around and left.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Eren released a loud, pained exhale, collapsing to his knees. Nursing his tender arm, he heard footsteps approaching and was expecting to see the sergeant glaring down at him. However, he was in for a pleasant surprise. Undamaged and not a scrape on her to be found, Mikasa only had one thing to say.

'You're pathetic.'

'She's not even human!' He retorted. 'Ow...'

Kneeling down to his level, Mikasa inspected his arm for a moment, 'There's something odd about her. She arrived back to our room very late last night, and left extremely early. I don't know if she's got another life somewhere.'

'... She's the roommate?'

'Yes,' Mikasa caught his gaze. 'If you want, I can make her regret hurting you.'

Eren snorted. 'No, I'm all right. I'll get her tomorrow.'

Mikasa rolled her eyes. 'Of course you will.' Helping him to his feet, she added, 'Her name's Annie, and, from what I can tell, she keeps very much to herself.'

Nodding, Eren stretched out his arm. 'Well, I can only hope the person I'm sharing my room with isn't anything like her.' Beat and exhausted, he was very tempted to leave the training grounds and head for bed. 'Great first day,' he muttered, 'I got beaten up by some snobby superior, and then a girl broke me.' He pulled a face. 'Brilliant.'

author's note: Hello! Thank you for reading the first chapter. I wanted to highlight that I know the war happening in this story isn't very clear right now, but I've planned it so that more and more is revealed as the story progresses. This is an alternative universe, but I have loosely followed some aspects of the series, and tried my best with keeping the characterisation as accurate as possible. Considering this is my first story on the SnK series, I do lack a lot of confidence. After finishing chapter two, I felt a little better posting this story, so, if you can, please leave some feedback. I'd love to know your thoughts. Keep in mind I do have a busy schedule offline, so updates won't be as fast as I'd like them to be. However, I am very keen on writing this story, so shan't give it up.