Depressed
Chapter 1: Recovery

Edited12/20/10

Summary: Ace had lost everyone and everything but his brother at Impel Down. But why is he acting so cold towards Luffy now?
Pairings: None.
Rating: T for blood and disturbance.
Warning: Childhood unhappiness. Um… yeah… This takes place after Impel Down and after Luffy regroups with his crew. (Once again, Franky and Brook will not be in here. I just don't know why I can't get their personalities down...)

Luffy sat by the side of Ace's bed, his dark chocolate eyes filled with concern and worry. His doctor Chopper said Ace had some pretty serious internal injuries that had grown worse over time. Apparently Blackbeard had done quite a beating on Ace. And Impel Down didn't help much either. Chopper also said that the wound Akainu inflicted on Ace had almost been completely fatal, and if it weren't for the fact that it was treated immediately, it would have killed him. Luffy continued to stare at Ace. He had lost everything: Whitebeard, Marco, his old and new crew members, all his friends. It was a miracle itself that Luffy and Ace even got out alive. Luffy pushed some hairs out of Ace's freckled face and bandaged forehead. His eyes were swollen, a sign that showed he had been crying. He remembered Ace crying on the scaffold back at Marine Headquarters. He couldn't really hear what he had been saying at the time, but it apparently upset Ace and Garp a lot. Luffy stopped and thought for a second, his brows furrowing. What could have possibly upset them so much, to the point where Ace would cry? Ace had always been a good kid, right? Or at least he was when he was around Luffy. A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. Zoro walked in with a tray of soup and looked at Luffy. His captain had multiple bandages on his arms and one wrapped around his chest under his shirt. Also, his left leg was completely bandaged.

"Hey, how is he?"

"He still hasn't opened his eyes…" Zoro stood there in silence for a few seconds.

"I brought you lunch."

"I'm not hungry."

"Luffy, you haven't eater for two days since you woke up. You need to eat so you can keep up your strength."

"I'm not hungry," Luffy insisted. Zoro gave a sigh and set the tray down on a table beside Luffy. He walked to the doorway and turned around.

"Ace wouldn't want you to worry like this. He would want you to eat something. That way if you need to protect him, you can." He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Luffy stared at the door for a while before looking at the soup and then to Ace.

"I'll eat then… if it means protecting you." He ate his soup slowly, never leaving Ace's side.

The next day was no different. Ace still hadn't woken up from his sleep yet. And Luffy still stayed with him, only leaving to use the restroom. He took his seat next to Ace again and rested his hand on his brother's. "Please, Ace, wake up." He received on response. On the fourth day, Luffy's mind began to race with ideas on what could possibly be wrong with Ace. Could he be in a coma? Is he a vegetable now? Will he ever wake up? On the fifth day, Luffy started to become frantic. His mind had settled on Ace being in a coma and now waking up. His crew tried to comfort him, but nothing helped. By the seventh day, Chopper thought Luffy was gonna have a heart-attack. He wouldn't stop pacing by his brother's side, a constant look of worry on his face. Then, on the eighth day, Ace opened his eyes. A great feeling of relief washed over Luffy immediately.

"Chopper! Chopper, he's awake!" Luffy rejoiced. Chopper came in and did his tests and checkups and shots on Ace. He concluded that Ace's wounds were healing good, but he should still refrain from stress and working out. "Can I speak to him alone, please?"

"Sure, just don't upset him too much or anything," ordered Chopper, giving his captain a stern look. "If you do, I'll have to restrict you from seeing him."

"Don't worry Chopper, I won't." Chopper eased up a little and nodded, exiting the room the give the D brother's their privacy. Luffy looked over at Ace and grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore." Ace's voice was rasped from the lack of water and speaking. "And you?"

"I'm all healed already. You gave me a scare, Ace. You wouldn't wake up for a while. And Chopper told me how serious your wounds were, so I started to think…" Luffy's voice trailed off. Ace gave a small chuckle which turned in to a cough.

"Sorry Lu." Luffy smiled. "So… where's Whitebeard and the crew?" Luffy's smile disappeared. What was he gonna say? How would he tell Ace Whitebeard and the crew are gone? That man had practically became Ace's father. Luffy opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Ace quickly caught on. "They didn't make it, did they…" Luffy slowly shook his head. "Oh…" In the back of his mind, Ace knew they weren't gonna make it. Whitebeard had gotten too old to be doing stuff like taking on Marine Headquarters. And the crew wouldn't stand a chance against all the marines, admirals and shichibukais. Ace's hands curled into fists. "Dammit!" He slammed his fist against the wall, surprising Luffy.

"Ace…"

"Go."

"What? No, I wanna stay by your side."

"Go, Luffy."

"No."

"Luffy…" Ace growled. Luffy swallowed, but didn't move.

"I'm not going–"

"Dammit Luffy, just go!" Ace hissed. Luffy bit his lip and looked at the ground.

"…Okay, I'll go," he replied softly as he slowly got up and walked outside onto the deck. Chopper came running up to him, followed by the rest of the crew.

"Luffy, what happened?"

"Why was Ace shouting?"

"I told him about Whitebeard… And he got really mad…"

"I better go check on him." Chopper started to make his way to the sick bay when Luffy grabbed his arm.

"Leave him, Chopper. If he wants to be alone, let him be alone."

"But what if you opens hi–"

"Chopper." Luffy looked at the ground. "This is one recovery he'll have to do alone." Sanji tapped his cigarette.

"You hungry, Luffy?"

"No, I lost my appetite. I'll be sleeping if anyone needs me." The crew watched Luffy walk into the men's quarters.

"Seeing his brother like this must be killing him inside," stated Usopp. A loud bang came from the sick bay.

"I guess we should leave Ace alone for a few more hours…"

"You're probably right, Zoro."

"Wow, Zoro actually said something smart…"

"Shut up, crappy cook." The crew headed into the kitchen for some lunch.

~Inside the sick bay~

Ace gave a death glare at the wall as he sat there sitting up. 'Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit! If they hadn't come to save, none of them would be dead right now!' Ace slammed his fist against the bed. 'If only I wasn't so weak! …If only I wasn't born! If I wasn't born, none of this would have happened at all!'

When Ace had starting crying on the execution platform, a few emotions had run through his head.

Sadness, because all his friends and family were dying all around him. He had watched so many die in front of his eyes. All he could do was watch as most of his friends were slain by the marines. It tore at his heart to see many of his old nakama cry his name out as they took their breath.

Happiness, because he knew he was loved so much was being rescued. He friends confessing their friendly love towards him, it made his heart pound with happiness. Though it was an inappropriate time, he just wanted to cry and smile, and thank everyone for loving him.

Anger, because he knew he never should have went after Blackbeard alone. He knew it was his own damn fault for not listening to his father. But then again, he didn't know Blackbeard had eater the stolen devil fruit and the thought of losing never even crossed his mind. Yes, he knew it was his own cockiness that got him in the whole mess.

And finally: Enjoyment. He looked around and saw everyone and thing dying right before his eyes. And, for some sick and disgusting reason, he actually enjoyed it. He enjoyed beating up all those adults when he was little. He enjoyed watching his friends die before his very own eyes; swords protruding from their stomachs and chests. It send a tingling sensation throughout his body, a smile creeping upon his face. The way the blood spewed from each body and wound, he found it so amazing, so fascinating.

And right now, while he was in bed, he wished he could see everyone dying again. Even when he was a child, he loved to watch things die and suffer. He enjoyed it because, sometimes, he wished he was the thing that dying and suffering. Ever since all the townsfolk said Roger should be dead, doesn't that mean Ace should be dead too? After all, that scums blood ran through his body. Ace felt disgusted with himself. It started to seem everywhere he went, people got hurt around him. After all, didn't he just snap at Luffy not too long ago?

Ace knew a lot of things, but the thing he knew the most at the moment was that no matter what type of medicine he was given, nothing could make him recover from the evil thoughts he now had in his mind.

XxXxX
Okay, so that's the re-edited version! I hope you guys liked it a little better! ^^ Thanks for reading and thanks for all the wonderful reviews!

The darkness I liveth, the darkness I love
~roo the vampire