Saving Tanya

The reason behind Tanya's unstable mind. From Jane's POV.Please R&R! Amy x

I'm worried about her, very worried if I'm honest. She's unstable, unhitched. I feel for her, I really do. I want to tell her that I'm always here if she wants a shoulder to cry on, or just some company. The only company she's got at the moment is her girls, she'll want some adult company. I understand how she feels more than anyone.

She never really spoke to people about how she felt, apart from me. We had quite a few chats about her feelings. It shocked me how vulnerable and emotional she was when it was just me and her talking. She says that her past is in the past but she and I know that's not the case. She's been through the mill, hit more walls than I ever thought possible, but she's still going. She may not be going strong, but she's still going.

First, she turned to drugs. The first in a long, long line of wrongly-made decisions. She says it was down to peer pressure, she only joined in because everyone else did it, but I wasn't so sure. She told me of how she overdosed once. Ended up in hospital for three days. She moved the conversation on quickly after that and I didn't ask anything more. I think she wanted out, not that she'll admit that. On the outside, she seems like strong-headed woman who's happy with her life. But I know otherwise.

Then Max came along. If I could turn back the clock, I'd make sure she steered clear of him. The way he treats her is unbelievable. Fobbing her off with excuses such as 'working late' for reasons why he doesn't spend the 

evenings with his family. She knows he's lying, every time he opens his mouth he's lying. She pretends everything's fine and dandy, puts on a front. She's convincing to people that aren't willing to give her the time of day, but I know Tanya.

She told me how she felt she was second best. I never realised that she really was. Becoming Max's mistress at such a young age makes me feel sick to the stomach. She was just a kid. I guess that's why she fell for him, he treated her as an adult when no one else did. She had a fairly bad childhood and Max came along just at the right time, I guess she saw him as her knight in shining armour. How could a man use a young girl like that? Especially when he's got a family of his own? A man doesn't know when he's got it good. And so Max divorced Rachel and married Tanya. In a matter of months, Tanya said. Married at 19. Pregnant at 20. Her childhood passed her by. It's a real shame. She never said that she misses it but you can tell by the way she speaks of it. Her childhood wasn't great but it was still better than feeling trapped. She gave birth to Lauren just before her 21st. It made her the happiest she'd ever been and that made me happy for her. It still wasn't the life she'd planned for herself. She'd dreamed of a great career, a well-paid decent job, before she'd consider starting a family. It's so sad that she never got the chance.

The only good thing about her relationship with Max was that it got her off the drugs. She was 'so in love' with him that it made her determined to be clean. That's the only thing I can thank Max for. Well, that and for giving her 3 beautiful children, that's all he's good for. Tanya assumed that Max becoming a father would tame him. Any loving husband and father would do anything to care for his children, but Max is a twisted man. Lauren's birth meant Max was away from home more, 'working overtime' and at 'meetings' when really he was spending his earnings on himself. Max never took to Lauren, he didn't love her like a father should. I feel for that girl 

having a father like that. A little girl needs her dad. But this little girl never had one.

Life continued for her until she became pregnant 3 years later. It was a real shock for her, poor thing. She was expecting Max to leave her, not give her another child to care for pretty much single-handedly. But when Abi was born, things were different. Max was home on time most nights, he bought gifts for Abi as often as he could, and he'd help and show respect for Tanya. However, he still remained cold towards Lauren. I know Ian's not the perfect father figure and sometimes he does seem to favour Peter over Lucy but it sickens me to think that a father can adore one child and practically ignore the other. No father can just blot his own child out of his life like that. And he now wonders how Lauren is growing up to be so different to him and Abi worships the ground he walks upon. His children are poles apart and it's all down to his ignorance. I don't know how he can live with himself.

There's the first chapter, I have about 8ish chapters planned. Should I continue? Please let me know and review x