Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. If I did, they would not be allowed to have such a long hiatus after that finale.
It hurts.
A searing pain, cutting through her with each breath she takes.
Each breath she holds.
There is no relief.
A cry.
Coming from somewhere in the distance.
Footsteps running towards her.
Or are they?
She'd like to think that someone was running to her side but the pain is so blinding, she's lost all sense of direction.
It hurts.
Almost as much as when she found out her mother died. Once that information seeped in and denial no longer worked.
Almost as much as when she convinced him she had no memory of her shooting. That look on his face. The hope turned to disappointment. To despair.
Or was it fear – a fear that she would remember – turning into relief that she didn't?
She's used to pain.
It's no stranger to her.
But still; it has the power to overwhelm her.
Footsteps.
So close.
Right next to her.
Her vision is going fuzzy, but still.
She knows it's him.
She always knows when he is near.
Can feel his presence – that current that runs between them.
That current that makes her feel so painfully aware of his nearness. So painfully aware that just the tiniest movement would connect them.
Make them come to life.
That's how she feels when he is near.
Alive.
'Kate.'
It's him.
He whispers. Strokes her cheek.
His eyes are frightened.
She says the only thing she knows how to say.
'It hurts.'
'I know.'
There are tears in his eyes.
She wants to tell him not to cry.
That she will be okay.
But her voice has failed her and she doesn't even know if there would be any truth to that declaration.
So she raises a hand. Shaking with the effort.
She wants to touch his face – prove to him they're both still here.
But instead, he catches her hand in his own.
It feels safe.
His hands enveloping hers, she feels safe.
Her hands aren't small but in his own, it feels like they are.
She feels small.
And it still hurts.
He knows.
He can see the pain.
His grasp on her hand is firmer now.
More secure.
He bares a small part of her hand and brings it to his lips.
All she's ever wanted.
To feel his lips on hers and be free enough to enjoy it.
'You're going to be okay,' he tells her and she's not sure which of them he is trying to convince more.
His own hands are shaking.
He's scared, too.
She tries to smile. To reassure him.
But she can't find the strength.
All she wants is the pain to go away. For the clock to turn back so she can return to her life.
Is it too late?
She has so much to live for.
So much.
Things are only beginning.
She opens her mouth, trying to find a way to tell him this.
But he leans over her, trying to take the struggle away by pressing his lips against her own.
And when he ends the kiss – moving only just enough so that their lips aren't touching but they can still feel the other's breath – she tells him the only other words she remembers.
The only other words she knows are true.
I love you.
And then, she is taken back to the beginning.
A/N: This is my first fanfiction, so please give me feedback & let me know if I should continue or not! :) (And, obviously, the next chapter will be a fair deal longer.)