Jim believed in soulmates.
He'd always been a hopeless romantic (he cries at the end of Disney movies), but he'd also seen for himself numerous times the power of true love. He saw it in his parents when they were alive. He saw it in his brother Sam when he met his soulmate Aurelan and was instantly captivated by her. He saw it in Commander Scott's eyes whenever he looked over at his beloved Lieutenant Uhura. True love was real, and it was magical.
When he was about six years old, he'd asked his father about the odd symbol on his wrist. It was a triangular arrow superimposed over a large circle, with a smaller circle inside, and it was chocolate brown.
George Kirk had smiled jovially. "That's your soulmate mark, son. It's supposed to help you find the person who's meant to be with you. Your best friend, your true love."
"Do you have a soulmate mark, Daddy?"
George rolled up his sleeve and showed his son the small image of a flower, cornsilk yellow. It was the same hue as his mother's hair. "It's a flower because your mama's such a good gardener. She could grow Eden from a patch of dry sand."
And it was true. The flower beds surrounding the Kirks' farmhouse flourished with camellias, which was Winona Kirk's favorite flower, and the exact flower that George Kirk's soulmate mark took the shape of.
"When I saw your mother's hair, I suspected that it might be her. But when she invited to her apartment for the first time, and I saw a pot of them growing on the window sill, I knew for sure. It was a good thing too, because I was already pretty sure I was in love with her." George smiled fondly on the memory.
"And Mommy's mark was for you too?" Jim asked.
"Yep. We were confused at first. We thought it was a grey saxophone at first, which was odd because I didn't play the saxophone. Then a few years ago, I took up smoking a pipe. One evening I was smoking it on the porch, and your mom came outside to tell me something. She looked at me smoking, and realized that was what the shape was—a pipe. And it was grey because my hair had turned grey in the last couple of years."
"When will I meet my soulmate?" Jim asked excitedly.
"I don't know, son," George answered honestly. "But I know you will, someday. Just make sure you always keep an open heart."
"Does the color always mean their hair color?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes it's eyes. Usually it's one of the two, but on a rare occasion it's something else. Like if your soulmate wears a lot of red, your mark might be red."
"So my soulmate might have brown hair or brown eyes?"
"It's entirely possible, son."
"But Daddy, I don't know what the shape is," said Jim, showing him the odd shape.
"Well, when you were born, your mommy and I looked it up. It's a Vulcan symbol—an IDIC. It stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination."
"So my soulmate is a Vulcan?"
"Maybe. But the key is not to try to figure out who your soulmate is. When you meet them, you'll know, either right away, or later on. The best indicator is your heart. After all, your mom wasn't sure about me. But she trusted her heart that I was her soulmate, and it turned out to be right."
Little Jimmy nodded. "When I know, I'll know," he declared confidently.
"Exactly." George tousled his son's hair. "Come on, let's start dinner before your ma gets home."
But how could Jim not seek out his soulmate? He tried to make a connection with every Vulcan he met. Unfortunately, he discovered that most Vulcans had brown eyes, so that didn't narrow down the list. He also discovered that most Vulcans weren't interested in being soulmates, or even friends, with humans.
In fact, Jim was shocked to learn that Vulcans didn't even have soulmate marks. Wonderful. If his soulmate did turn out to be Vulcan, they'd never know, because they wouldn't have the mark as reference.
Maybe he just wasn't meant to find his. Some people never did. And that was okay. Those people still lived happy, fulfilling lives. Jim would be fine without a soulmate.
(That didn't stop his heart from jumping hopefully every time he saw a Vulcan though.)
Spock didn't believe in soulmates.
His mother had been delighted when he'd been born with a small design on his wrist—a golden-colored Terran horse—but Spock found the whole concept rather illogical. There are personalities that go well together and ones that clash. Emotions and interpersonal connections are merely hormonal reactions. The idea that two (or more) individuals were designed to flawlessly suit each other emotionally by destiny was ludicrous.
None of Spock's classmates had marks. Spock had gotten the mark through his human mother's genetics, which was in and of itself illogical because she didn't even have one.
"Your mark is a clue to the identity of your soulmate," Amanda had told him. "And since your father is my soulmate, it would stand to reason that I don't have one, because he doesn't either."
When Spock had asked his father to confirm her hypothesis, Sarek had simply replied, "If that is what your mother believes, we should let her."
Spock took that to mean that Sarek didn't believe in soulmates either. It was romantic human nonsense and he wouldn't expend any more consideration on the matter, the six year old decided.
(Besides, by Amanda's logic, the presence of Spock's mark would mean that his soulmate was human, and that was absolutely absurd.)
Jim was 31 and Spock was 34 Earth years old when they first laid eyes on each other.
After Christopher Pike was promoted to fleet captain and his first officer was redirected to a science base in the Delta Quadrant, the brash young former lieutenant of the Farragut was assigned to command the Enterprise in their stead. When Jim beamed aboard, he found his command crew in their formal uniforms waiting to welcome him. His old Academy friends, Gary Mitchell and Leonard McCoy were taking on the positions of First Officer and Chief Medical Officer, respectively, but the rest were new to him. He greeted them in turn.
Francis Martinez, head of security.
Montgomery Scott, chief engineer.
Reed Bailey, chief tactical officer.
Nyota Uhura, head of communications.
Hikaru Sulu, helmsman.
Janice Rand, his personal yeoman.
And S'Chn T'Gai Spock, chief science officer.
Jim smiled at him, giving the Vulcan salute instead of shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Spock."
The Vulcan nodded politely. "The feeling is mutual, Captain Kirk."
Then Jim caught sight of a pin in a very familiar shape on Spock's uniform. An arrow pointing to the center of a ring. A Vulcan IDIC.
Jim's gaze snapped up and met Spock's. The Vulcan gazed back at him with deep brown eyes...like pools of chocolate.
Jim's heart began to thump.
"Captain?" Spock raised an angular eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"
Jim felt his cheeks heating up. "No, no. Everything is fine. I was just admiring your pin. An IDIC, isn't it?"
"Yes sir," replied Spock, still a bit bemused. "I'm surprised a non-Vulcan recognized the insignia."
Jim smiled wobbly. "I've come across it before." He cleared his throat. "Anyway...very nice to meet you all. I look forward to working alongside all of you. I'll meet most of you on the bridge in a few minutes. Dismissed."
The crew dispersed and headed off to change into their normal uniforms and resume their duties. Jim tried to steady his heart rate as he picked up his suitcase from the transporter pad. Don't get excited, Jim. Every Vulcan you've ever met has brown eyes. Admittedly, they're usually dark brown, not that particular chocolatey color that he has...you know perfectly well that Vulcans don't have soulmates. You're just being an overly romantic idiot again.
Jim took a deep breath and began carrying his suitcase to his new quarters. I definitely wouldn't mind if he was my soulmate, however. He's certainly gorgeous!
Spock was emotionally compromised.
It would have taken a completely blind being not to recognize the new captain's beauty. But a pretty face or well shaped body had never turned Spock's head.
It was infinitely more than Kirk's attractive form. It was his presence as a whole. The human male was...gold. Pure gold.
It was as if Kirk had been sculpted by the Terran Greek God Apollo himself. Because Kirk's very essence seemed to emit sunlight. His bronzed skin shone with it, his hair was woven out of it, even his eyes glittered with soft particles of light. And his smile, so full of warmth, was like a ray of sunshine through a field of clouds.
Spock sat at his station on the bridge, back turned to everyone else. He surreptitiously pulled down the sleeve of his uniform and took a glance at his birthmark (he absolutely refused to call it a soulmate mark). The golden outline of the horse was still there. Spock bit his bottom lip.
Then his Vulcan ears picked up small, lithe footsteps coming up from behind him. He quickly recovered his mark as Lieutenant Uhura perched on his station.
"Well, Mister Spock? What do you think of our brand new fearless leader?"
"I...will reserve judgment until he has shown what manner of captain he will make."
Uhura giggled. "Oh, Mister Spock, always so serious. Isn't he pretty though? And so young. My goodness, he must have come straight from the cradle!"
"I presume he had a normal human growth period, Miss Uhura. As to his looks, Vulcans do not place merits on physical appearance."
"Oh, of course looks aren't important. But even you must've noticed. I know I wouldn't mind being soulmates with that angel face. But I don't think that's the case." Uhura pulled up her own sleeve to expose a bright red mark standing out against her dark skin. "It's a set of bagpipes—you see? I suppose my soulmate is a Scottish highlander." She lowered her voice. "I have a feeling it's our chief engineer, Mister Scott. What do you think?"
Spock turned away. "I have no opinion. Vulcans do not have soulmate marks."
That was not a lie.
Uhura chuckled fondly. "Too bad. I think they're quite fun. But y'all don't place much merit on that either, do you?"
"I cannot say that we do."
The turbolift doors slid open and Uhura hustled back to her station. "Captain on the bridge!" Lieutenant Bailey announced. Everyone hurried to their feet.
"As you were," Kirk said, striding over to his chair. "Helmsman Sulu, set a course for the Aldebaran system, warp factor 3."
"Aye, sir."
Spock snuck a peek over his shoulder at the Captain. He made an impressive profile as he sat cross-legged in the captain's chair, looking over the orders on his PADD. And Spock had not been mistaken earlier: Kirk really was made of gold.
Spock made eye contact with Uhura. She smiled and winked, then turned back her control panel.
In the weeks that followed, Jim and Spock actually became cordial. Jim found Spock, while still Vulcanly formal, more approachable than most Vulcans he'd encountered. Then one day, Spock mentioned he had a human mother. Jim was surprised.
Spock was half human. Was it possible he had a soulmate mark? Jim was dying to ask, but knowing how private Vulcans were, he held himself back. He didn't want to offend the man.
Then, just after two months of command, his friend and first officer, Gary, was lost.
Jim was forced to choose someone new for the position. He could put in for a new Number One with Starfleet, but being still new at this captaining thing, Jim really wanted someone who was already onboard. Someone who knew the ship and wouldn't need a long adjustment period; someone he wouldn't have to train...
And then, it came to him. Of course. Spock! He'd been on this ship for six years. He would know the ins and outs better than anyone! He was reliable, professional, calm in crisis situations, brilliant, and he and Jim got along fairly well. It was perfect! But would Spock take the position?
"I know you're the chief scientist, and that must require a lot of your energy. But you're, well, the most logical candidate for the job. I know it's a lot to ask you to take on...but would you?" Jim asked him. "Would you accept the title of First Officer?"
Spock took some time to consider it, but he soon came back to Jim with a confident "it would be my honor to be your second in command, Captain."
And that ended up being the best decision of Jim's career. Jim and Spock formed a command partnership that worked like a well oiled machine. Even better, they grew all the closer as friends as well.
"I feel a little jealous," Bones said jokingly to Jim one day over fingers of Saurian brandy. "I thought I was supposed to be your best friend, but you spend all your free time with that hobgoblin. I would think you two would get sick of each other."
Jim chuckled softly, swirling his glass around. He watched the ice cubes clink together. "Bones..." he said tentatively. "Spock's half-human. Do you think he...ya know...has a mark?"
"A soulmate mark, you mean?"
"Yeah."
"Well Jim, I've seen Spock with bare arms a few times when he's in sickbay. So I guess I would know if he had a soulmate mark or not."
Jim's eyes widened, and he waited with baited breath.
"...but as his doctor, I couldn't break our confidentiality unless absolutely necessary. Not even to you, Jim."
Jim sighed disappointedly.
"Why? You don't think he's your soulmate, do ya?" Bones joked.
"Um...kind of?"
Bones's eyebrows shot up. "What?"
"Well, look, Bones." Jim pulled up his sleeve. "See, I've always suspected my soulmate was Vulcan, because my mark's a Vulcan IDIC. You see? But Vulcans don't have marks. But I thought that since Spock's half-human, he might have one. Then it would make sense! Plus he was wearing an IDIC pin when I met him the first time, and his eyes are the exact color of my mark. They're this deep, warm brown...like melted chocolate..."
Bones began to laugh. "Oh lord. You've got it bad, dontcha?"
"What?"
"You. The hobgoblin. Twitterpation?...You've got a crush, Jim!"
"I do not!" Jim said defensively.
"Yeah right. I've suspected for awhile. The way you always stand so close to him, the way you tease him like a schoolboy, and those heart eyes you make at him when you think nobody's looking..."
"I do not make 'heart eyes'," Jim grumbled.
"And now you're comparing his eye color to food. My diagnosis is that you're sweet on that Vulcan."
"You're crazy," Jim said, blushing furiously.
"As a fox," Bones replied, grinning devishly.
Jim hurried to his feet. "Look, I...I gotta go."
"Go see your boyfriend?"
"Shut up, Bones!" Jim shouted as he rushed out the door.
"Mister Spock, do Vulcans play chess?"
It was their off shift, and Spock had just finished communing with Jim about ship's business. Now they were simply enjoying each other's company in the captain's quarters.
"I know of the game, but I have never played," Spock admitted.
"I think you'd love it. It's very strategic. Here, I have a 2D set in my desk. I'll teach you the rules."
"I am amenable to playing," said Spock.
Jim unfolded the board and began arranging the piece, explaining each one as he went. "This is the king. He's the most important. The object of the game is to take your opponent's king. Then this is the queen. She's the most powerful piece. These are pawns; there are eight of them on each side. They don't do much, but if you manage to get one of your pawns all the way to my side of the board, it can count as one of the other pieces—except the king, of course. These castle looking pieces are called rooks, and these are bishops, and finally, my favorite piece..." Jim held up the small ivory figure and grinned. "The knight."
It was a horse. It was shaped exactly like Spock's mark. Spock's eyes widened.
"Now, bishops only move diagonally, while rooks...Spock?" Jim looked at him in concern. "You look spooked. What's wrong?"
Spock licked his lips nervously. "Tell me why the horse is your favorite piece."
"Uh, the knight? Well, I guess it reminds me of my family farm in Iowa—we had horses—plus it only moves in L-shapes, which is kind of unusual...why do you want to know?"
It is impossible. Why in the name of Surak would he be my soulmate? He is so warm and welcoming, everything I am not. I could not possibly make him happy as a companion or a mate. I am supposed to be perfect for him. I am anything but.
"Spock, are you okay?" As Jim slid his arm across the table to touch Spock, the human's sleeve rode up, revealing...a brown Vulcan IDIC.
"Jim, your mark!" Spock gasped.
Jim noticed it was exposed, and he blushed, quickly covering it. "Oh, uh, don't worry about that. It's just a..."
"I did not believe it was true," Spock said. "I thought it was simple human emotionalism...Jim, I need to show you..." He yanked his sleeve down, willingly showing someone his mark for the first time in his life.
Jim's eyes, and he brushed the golden knight on Spock's wrist lightly with his fingers. "Oh my god...you do have a..." Jim looked up at Spock. "It's you," he whispered. "I knew it. Of course it's you. It had to be!"
And quick as lightning, Jim was on the other side of the table, wrapping his arms around Spock in a hug. "Oh my god, I've been waiting for you all my life!" Jim laughed happily. "And it's you of all people...oh God, I couldn't have asked for a better soulmate. I'm so happy...are you happy?" Jim pulled back, looking up at Spock in concern. "Spock, say something."
"I am sorry, Jim," said Spock slowly, somewhat in a daze. "I am simply...overwhelmed."
Jim's face fell. "Oh God...of course you are. Why wouldn't you be?" He quickly stepped away from Spock. "I must be an awful disappointment. You wait your whole life for your perfect person, and you find out they're some silly, over-exuberant human who could never in a million years be on your intellectual level. I'm so sorry, Spock. I wish I could be everything you deserve in a soulmate. I'll understand if you want to find someone better-"
Finally, Spock found his voice. "No!" he cried.
Jim looked at him in surprise.
"Jim..." said Spock, in a more collected voice. "You misunderstand me. I am overwhelmed because, firstly, I did not believe this was possible. Vulcans do not believe in soulmates. But I am unable to ignore the evidence before me. Secondly, you are correct in believing there is an imbalance in our partnership. But it is because you deserve better than me."
"What, no-!"
"It is true, Jim. You are cheerful and extroverted, and you deserve someone who can match your disposition. I, as I am, cannot possibly make you happy."
"That's not true at all! Spock, I love you!"
Both of Spock's eyebrows rose.
Jim blushed. "That wasn't supposed to come out. But it's true...I love you, Spock. I adore you. And you do make me happy. Just because you're not some happy-go-lucky simpleton like me-"
"You will cease lying about yourself. You are not a simpleton, you are brilliant."
"I'm not as smart as you," Jim blushed.
"In some regards. But in some areas, you are smarter. Intelligence is relative. But you are not stupid."
Jim looked at his feet, hiding a bashful smile. Then he looked up and said, "Wait. So we both think the other is too good for us."
"Clearly."
"Well..." Jim chuckled shyly. "Maybe we're perfect for each other after all."
Spock felt Jim's infectious grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Perhaps we are.
Jim walked toward Spock. "I'm different from what you're used to."
Spock approached him as well. "And I cannot smile and laugh like you do."
Jim wrapped his arms around the other man. "But one thing is certainly true-"
"-I deeply love you." Spock brought their foreheads together.
Jim grinned up at him. "Do you realize everything we just said rhymed?"
"It was certainly well timed," Spock couldn't resist, smirking at his soulmate.
"Shut up and kiss me, Spock."
Jim believed in soulmates.
And now, Spock did too.