No Man Left Behind
The air is brisk and cold, trees standalone along the pathway; watching many a passer-by. The only sound to be heard is the light rustle of dead leaves, memories of seasons past, dancing in the wind. Two sets of footsteps: one light and short, the other heavy and purposeful.
Jack and I walk past the graves of fallen Air Force personnel, and stop when we come to a freshly laid plot, flowers already obscuring her name. Moments pass before either of us move, then slowly Jack leans down and gingerly brushes leaves and petals aside. 'Captain Doctor Janet Fraiser'
I felt a hand on my shoulder and no longer can I hold in my tears. Falling to the ground I weep, my long worked on veneer of being strong falls away in a single moment. Jack breathes my name, and gently picks my prone form off the grass. With his hand on the under of my head, we draw closer. Quietly, he whispers; "I am sorry."
Crying harder into his shoulder my hands become fists holding to his black Air Force jacket.
"It's okay."
"I am so sorry." His voice wavers, incapable of speaking more than four simple words, in fear of crying himself.
Sometimes, it was hard to remember that this man was my Commanding Officer.
The entire car ride back to Base had been quiet, neither Jack nor I speaking once. As we pulled up to the security check at the front gate, I looked around me, the Colorado Springs weather had left the barbed wire at the top of the fence glistening in the now shining sun. The quiet purr of the engine and murmuring of Airman combined with the past events left me heavy-eyed, only to be woken moments later by Jack explaining what will take place at the impending inquiry.
Acting somewhat out of my normal character, and not behaving as the well trained Lieutenant I am, I glared at Colonel O'Neill, got out of his car, slammed the door and proceeded to storm off toward the second security check.
"Cassandra Fraiser" I heard him call after me, but I didn't stop until the elevator doors had closed.
When I finally made my way to the briefing room, I stepped through the large grey door and looked up to see the faces of my four team mates and General Hammond sitting around the large oblong table, and Reynolds in the corner ready to record every word spoken in the conversation about to take place.
"Take a seat, Lieutenant." The General nodded toward the empty seat next to Major Carter.
As I took my seat Hammond explained that he was going to follow normal protocol and find out from each of us what had happed when Doctor Fraiser lost her life.
Colonel O'Neill started: "It was a normal rescue operation to begin with; we did a sweep of the area, and found nothing out of sorts." He paused and looked around, receiving nods of agreement from the others. "Out of know-where came a shot, hit her right in the chest. Carter ran to her checked her over whilst we returned cover fire."
Major Carter continued for him; "She was dying, Sir. There was nothing we could have done, and she told me to-" the blonde Major had to hold back a tear that was threatening to roll down her cheek.
By this point I was furious. Standing up sharply, my chair rolled backwards and hit the concrete wall behind me.
"We left her behind!"
The General looked at me sternly at me and told me to sit back down. I wasn't going to let this go.
"No, we left her behind. What ever happened to 'no man left behind'? What happened too we don't leave our people behind?"
"Don't give me that Fraiser." Jack stood up also, slamming his hands down on the desk as he did so. "You know it's a calculated risk every time we go on a mission."
"She was my mother, Sir. Do you really think I would be okay with leaving?" There was certain snippiness in my voice, which was not suitable in talking to my CO with.
"Cassie, are you awake?"
I was faintly conscious of someone beside me, asking me to wake.
"Cassie. Wake up." The words were harsh, punctuated.
Opening my eyes slowly, I blink against the bright lights of the room. Looking towards the silhouette of the sweet, salient voice of the small woman I realise who it is.
Mum was sitting at her desk looking down into a microscope, her brown locks pushed behind her ear and resting softly at her shoulders. Her white lab coat so pristine, he name sewn in blue on the left side of her chest- 'Dr. Fraiser', her silver metal dog tags tucked neatly away. She was so beautiful, so radiant. I could see her mind working, she was undoubtedly marvelling at whatever it was that was in the slide under the microscope. Standing in the large concrete doorway silently watching her work, I take in her small form savouring it, capturing the moment in my mind.
"Fraiser, Fraiser, FRAISER."
I was being shaken. Confused and dazed my eyes flew open, only to see the dark blue tablecloth, which covered the hard military grey tables in the commissary. My body soon followed suit. Now sitting bolt upright, I saw the Colonel. Under his arm he held a manila folder and in his hand the pie he enjoyed often.
"Go home, get some rest."
"No."
"I can make that an order, Lieutenant."
I looked at him and scoffed.
"An 'order,' like the order you gave to leave my mother behind? Oh I wouldn't count on me following you blindly anymore, Sir."
Colonel O'Neill looked at me, his light brown eyes searching mine. As he spoke, his voice was laced with hurt and oddly quiet.
"I'm sorry."