Izaya was Izaya. Shizuo was Shizuo. And there was no changing that. Izaya would always be Izaya. And Shizuo would always be Shizuo. They would always fight, and they would never get along.

Izaya Orihara was walking around Ikebukuro, bored out of his mind. He'd had practically nothing to do all day, so he took to wandering the city. He walked past several bars, laughing at how ridiculously humans acted when they were intoxicated. It was amusing to say the least. He saw a few faces that he recognized, no one he knew personally, just some people he'd spotted around the city here or there.

As he was walking past another pub, a familiar, angry voice called out to him. "Izaayyaaaa!"

Izaya ducked to avoid a stop sign to the face, turning around to see Shizuo Heiwajima. "Good afternoon, Shizu-chan~" Izaya smiled with a small wave.

Shizuo wavered and started to tip sideways. He used his stop sign to keep himself balanced and mumbled some insult directed at Izaya, but it couldn't be made out.

Izaya's smile widened. Shizuo was clearly drunk. "Awww, Shizu-chan~" he crooned, walking over to the blonde man and wrapping his arms around his neck. "You're happy to see me, aren't you?"

Shizuo muttered something along the lines of "No, go away," and tried to struggle out of Izaya's grip, which only caused him to lose his balance. This caused him to fall into Izaya and instinctively grab at the back of the other's man's shirt to steady himself. The stop sign fell to the ground.

A few townspeople around who had been walking past them started to stare, and little clusters of people crowded around them, completely flabbergasted. Those two were Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima, right? Weren't they supposed to be mortal enemies, or something of the sort?

Izaya smirked. Shizuo was going to hate him so much when he sobered up~ Well, if talk started up about this little incident, at least; which Izaya knew it would. Humans were such predictable creatures.

Izaya grabbed the front of Shizuo's shirt and quickly tugged it towards him so the blonde's forehead was against his and his other arm was still around his neck. Some people in the crowd gasped or giggled. Mmm… Izaya was just loving all the attention…

Shizuo's face flushed ever so slightly and he closed his eyes, tightening his grip on the back of Izaya's shirt out of nerves. "I-Izaya-kun…" he practically whimpered.

"What is it~?"

"S-stop…" Shizuo grumbled, closing his eyes tighter and letting go of Izaya to try and push him away. "Stop it…"

"Aww, what's wrong, Shizu-chan~?" Izaya tried to ask the words in a whine, but he just couldn't do it. He was enjoying this too much. He looked up at Shizuo with a smirk. "Don't you like me?"

Shizuo cracked open an eye, saw Izaya's face, and snapped it back shut, his blush clearly visible on his face now. "N-No." he stuttered.

"Shizu-chan, you're so mean!" Izaya shouted, managing a whine this time, and gaining a few more gasps and giggles from the audience. He let go of Shizuo to wipe away a few fake tears.

Shizuo started to say something but Izaya interrupted him by tackling him with a hug and sniffling into his shirt like a small child. He felt Shizuo start to tremble and the blonde took a drunken step backwards, starting to fall again but placing a hand on Izaya's shoulder to steady himself.

Izaya stayed silent, still hugging Shizuo, and waited for his reaction.

"…I…Izaya…"

"What is it?" Izaya asked, his voice muffled by Shizuo's shirt.

"Go…G-Go away…" he replied in a drunken mumble, shoving at the other man's shoulder.

Izaya feigned a sigh, letting go of Shizuo and lowering his head to hide another smirk. "Why don't you like me?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice in a sad tone. He really was enjoying this far too much. Shizuo's obvious discomfort was just so priceless…

"I'm…" Shizuo trailed off, hiccupping before continuing. "Sor…Sorry…"

Izaya just laughed, unable to keep up with this façade of his any longer. "You really do look adorable right now, you know that?" He rewrapped his arms around the blonde's neck and pulled his face a little closer to him.

Shizuo blinked and his blush returned to his cheeks, only half realizing that Izaya had tricked him.

Some annoying yaoi fangirls in the crowd cheered and Izaya thought to himself, Well, might as well please them so long as they're here…

Shizuo opened his mouth to say something, probably to complain, but Izaya cut him off by taking this chance to press his lips against his. The girls in the crowd cheered and Shizuo froze, staring stupidly at Izaya as he kissed him.

Izaya pulled away a minute or so later, chuckling at the clueless look on Shizuo's face as the blonde just stood there staring at him, his mouth still hanging open.

The crowd grew silent and Shizuo kept trying to say something, but he gave up every time. Izaya laughed at him and grabbed his hand, starting to pull him through the crowd of city-goers.

Shizuo's clueless gaze shifted to their hands and he clumsily followed Izaya as he navigated him through the staring clusters of Ikebukuro. "Just ignore them, Shizu-chan~" he crooned with a small laugh. "We'll be alone soon enough."

Shizuo gave a drunken nod, desperately trying to focus his eyes on something but giving up after a short while and blindly following Izaya.

"Mmm…" Izaya almost felt bad for him. Almost.

After about an hour's worth of travel, the two somehow managed to reach Izaya's apartment in Shinjuku. Izaya hurried Shizuo inside and helped him over to a couch. He figured that would be enough for the drunk and he turned to head for his bedroom.

"I-Izaya-kun. W-wait," came a voice from behind him.

Izaya sighed and turned around to see Shizuo peeking his head over the back of the couch like a young child.

"…What is it?" Izaya asked, somewhat irritated. He was done toying with Shizuo. He was bored with him now. AT that moment, he just wanted to go to bed. Or, more specifically, he wanted it to be tomorrow. Tomorrow was bound to be interesting.

"…Stay." Shizuo muttered in a pleading tone.

Izaya put his hands in his coat pockets and ambled back over to the couch, sitting down next to Shizuo. "Why?"

Shizuo yawned before replying. "…b-because."

Izaya rolled his eyes, kicking his feel up onto the coffee table. This was probably going to take a while. "Because why, Shizu-chan?"

"Becauseiloveyou…" Shizuo grumbled, the blush from earlier returning to his cheeks as he shifted his gaze to the floor.

Izaya narrowed his eyes, unsure of how to respond. If that was true (which Izaya assumed it was; humans tended to be pretty honest while intoxicated), it was awful; almost like a curse. The one exception to Izaya's infatuation with the human race loves him? How ironic.

But on the other hand, it could prove to be a great advantage. If Ikebukuro knew that the strongest man in the city was in love with his mortal enemy… well, that'd be better than killing him! He'd be the laughing stock of Tokyo. No one would take him seriously ever again.

Izaya's fingers wrapped around the knife in his pocket. He could end it all right here. But… No… Killing a drunken man would be no fin. Where's the satisfaction in that? Shizuo would have no way of defending himself. It'd feel like killing a defenseless child. And besides, all Izaya had to do was make it to tomorrow. Mmm… Tomorrow would be great.

"Izaya-Kun?"

Izaya looked back over at Shizuo and sighed. He stood up, transferred his knife from his coat pocket to his jeans' pocket, and threw his coat at Shizuo. "I'm going to bed," he said with a wave, walking over to his bedroom, opening the door, and closing it behind him before Shizuo could say another word.

**

Shizuo woke up the next morning with a pounding headache as well as a strange sense of comfort. He groaned and hugged the blanket he was holding to his chest the way a young child might cradle a teddy bear. He took a deep breath and sat up, scanning his surroundings.

…This wasn't his apartment.

He looked down to the object in his lap.

…This wasn't his blanket.

He blinked at it, recognizing it as Izaya's coat. He narrowed his eyes, standing up and throwing it angrily at the couch, looking around Izaya's apartment and wondering how the hell he got there.

He spotted what looked like a door to a bedroom in the corner, walked over to it, and ripped it off it's hinges.

**

Izaya, on the other hand, had the pleasure of waking up to an angry man dressed in bartender clothes shouting his name and oh look, he was holding a door, as well.

"Mmm, good morning, Shizu-chan~" Izaya yawned, stretching out his arms.

"What the hell am I doing here, Izaya?" Shizuo shouted, getting straight to the point, as he lifted the door over his head, preparing to throw it at Izaya.

Izaya shrugged, sitting up in bed and letting his blanket fall off of him to reveal his bare chest. Izaya normally slept in just a pair of shorts, although this time he still had on his jeans from last night. "Well," he started, "it seems you and I had a one night stand of sorts~"

Shizuo's fists tightened around the door he was holding and he chucked it at Izaya's face.

Izaya ducked, turning around to see his bedroom door protruding from the wall behind him. He laughed, grabbed his shirt from the day before off of the floor, and threw it on. "Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best way to explain it."

"Well think of a better way, then." Shizuo said in a slow, threatening voice, grinding his teeth together. He seemed pretty pissed, which only pleased Izaya even more.

Izaya gave another little shrug. "You were drunk," he said simply. "I found it interesting so I played with you a bit."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, quickly scanning the room for something he could murder Izaya with, but found nothing. The room was practically empty except for the bed and a bookshelf, one which was too tall to be lifted in the low-ceiling room.

"You know…" Izaya smirked, chuckling at Shizuo's scan of the area. "You told me something really interesting last night, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's gaze snapped back to Izaya and he swallowed hard, starting to clench and unclench his fists. He seemed pretty tense. And at least a bit nervous as well.

Izaya's smirk widened into a childish grin. "Don't you want to know what it was?" he laughed, kicking his legs off of the side of the bed. Looks like Shizuo's dirty little secret was an advantage for him after all.

When Shizuo sill didn't respond, Izaya continued. "Well, I guess I'll just say it, then~" he crooned with another laugh. "Shizu-chan…" he smirked. "You told me you-

"I love you." Shizuo interrupted with a grunt. He walked over to Izaya, violently grabbing the collar of his shirt and lifting him, pressing his lips against his before the other man could complain.

"Mm- Mmph!" Izaya panicked, struggling to get away from the blonde. He managed to break the kiss, but Shizuo only kissed him again, forcing his slimy tongue into Izaya's mouth. Izaya bit it until it bled.

Shizuo pulled back for a moment to shove Izaya down onto his bed and kissed him a third time.

Izaya kept struggling to get away, clumsily shoving at Shizuo's shoulder to try and get him off of him.

Shizuo broke the kiss and chuckled at Izaya's reaction to the whole thing, giving the other man a quick peck on the forehead. He brought his hands to where Izaya was shoving at him and gently held his wrists, pulling his hands away from his shoulder.

Izaya felt his face flush a bit and he tensed up and tried to break free of Shizuo's grip, but to no avail. Shizuo Heiwajima really was the strongest person in Ikebukuro. "What the hell are you doing?" he shouted.

It was Shizuo's turn to smirk as he let go of Izaya's hands to lift him by the shirt again. "Just playing with you a bit," he murmured.

Izaya's face flushed even more and he gave up on trying to get free. Why bother?

Shizuo punched Izaya in the jaw and threw him back down onto his bed, putting his hands in his pockets and starting to walk away. "And don't let me see you in Ikebukuro again unless you want to get murdered."

Izaya's hand flew to the knife in his pocket, but he couldn't bring himself to use it. He was much too humiliated.

A few moments later, Izaya heard the opening and closing of the front door of his apartment.

Well. It looks like that secret turned out to be a curse after all.