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Part 1: "The way that we are right now; the way we used to be."
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Pein never really was the talkative type. He rarely associated with any of his other Akatsuki members now, keeping only to the odd visits from Zetsu. Only Konan was his constant companion, always staying silently nearby. And then after Deidara had passed on, Tobi had come to him as well, always in secret. After confiding in Pein his true identity, it was necessary to keep him out of sight for the time being. Now even Zetsu stayed away on his own, leaving Pein again to be in solitude. But... there was Konan.
Konan was the only female Akatsuki member, and he often wondered if she disliked him from always keeping her away from the others. Although, it really wasn't his fault. They were always on some kind of mission that led them far away from their current hideout, and they would often be away for weeks at a time.
He sighed and stared out through the rain. Even with the Rin'negan, he couldn't make out anything beyond a few feet ahead. The steady, heavy rain turned the ground to mush beneath them, and they had retreated into the only dry cavern they could find. Such a mess... mucking through the marshes for... how long now? It had already been 8 days, and still no sign of anything. With all their clues exhausted or disproven, they had been left with this failed expedition. He hated failure, it grated at his nerves every time. Still, there was nothing that could be done, and they planned to leave as soon as the rain let up enough to see. The rain wouldn't stop, surely. Not any time soon. This was the rain country, after all, and rain it did, all day every day in this season.
Konan watched as he stared at the ground and fumed. She knew he was kicking himself for leading them on another fruitless mission, but she understood well how hard a search for a Jinchuuriki could be. Indeed, she had never blamed him for all the past failures, but instead she understood that failure led to improvement and then success. That was how she became so talented with origami. She didn't succeed all the time. And finally, after years of work, she had perfected her talents, her failures grossly outnumbering her successes.
She felt the need to say something encouraging, but she couldn't possibly imagine what would make him feel better. He was that rogue that stood alone unless it was necessary, forsaking all but what was closest to him. There wasn't much he would listen to, except for herself and that Uchiha... Despite this, he was a fair leader, understanding when things didn't work out as planned, but being inwardly frustrated. And then members started dying... When Orochimaru left, everyone had been glad to have him off their hands. But then Sasori died, a welcome and loved member, one they dearly missed. Even Deidara, the selfish psychopath, had been badly needed lately, but... he was also gone. Finally even Hidan and Kakuzu were dead, despite Hidan's bragging about being immortal. Indeed, that was why they were paired together in the firt place. Hidan was the only partner that Kakuzu could slice to pieces and still leave alive. But somehow they were both killed. All that were left... Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, and Tobi. That was all? So few could never complete the ritual quickly enough.
Still, she had to say something, anything but this silence. "Pein-sama..."
He didn't answer for a moment, then turned and glared. "Mm..?"
She turned away from his glare, wondering why she bothered. Her paper flower in her hair dropped onto her lap, soaked and disintegrating into clumps of white and blue mush. She bit her lip, still refusing to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought that man without asking. It was my fault."
His look turned kinder, and he nodded. "No, it's alright. It wasn't your fault." In their search for a Jinchuuriki, they had entered a village in disguise, but without her concealing cloak, Konan was very... attractive, and a man had tried to assault her. "I'm glad you fought back, Konan. He had no right to do that."
She finally met his gaze, her own a bit surprised. He really approved of that? For so long, he had seemed to be uncaring and distant, but somehow in the dim cave he seemed less hostile than usual. "You... really think so?"
"Yeah. But next time let me go with you. I don't want you to get hurt again." His eyes, which rarely relected any kind of hurt or remorse, seemed to sting with pain.
"I... No, I was fine, really. He was a fool to mess with a shinobi. I'll just be more careful, so you don't have to worry about me." She must have been imagining it. Did he just have a flicker of insult on his face?
He stared back at the ground. "I'm sorry Konan."
Now she was nearly shocked. What the heck would he have to apologize for? "Why... are you sorry?"
"For... I don't know, keeping you away from everyone. You probably think I'm so overprotective, don't you? Even the other members of Akatsuki rarely see you. Do you hate me for keeping you from a normal life?"
She had never thought of that. Really, ever since they were children in the rain village, fighting against every intruder, living off scraps, she had never known what a real life was. The Akatsuki WAS her life. Now and always. "This is what you've always wanted, wasn't it? To have a way to fight back?"
He nodded, silent for a moment. "Yes, it was. It still is. We have to protect ourselves somehow... if it means being missing nin forever, then... I will do it. But... I won't ask you to do the same if you don't want to anymore."
She blinked in disbelief. He wasn't acting like himself at all. Cautiously, she crept to his side and felt his face. No wonder! He was hot to the touch, feverish from expending so much evergy and being in these extremes. "Pein-sama, you shouldn't push yourself so much." But he just stared blankly ahead, not really hearing her. She knew he was far worse off than he seemed at first. With a sigh, she pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket, held it out in the rain, and dabbed his cheek carefully. Even in his weakened state, he resisted her touch. But because he was so weak, she was easily able to calm him down. Finally, he relented, allowing himself to lay down and stare at the ceiling deliriously as she removed his forehead protector and laid the damp handkerchief in its place. Really, he shouldn't be working so hard in this weather. She cursed her lack of medical knowledge, worrying about what she would do if he worsened. His hands felt cold and clammy, despite his face being so flushed and warm. Deep in the recesses of her memories, she recalled a short lecture about hypothermia. This was the rain country, after all, her hometown - and hypothermia happened all the time in the reainy season. As long as the victim was kept warm, the situation was usually alright. He wasn't too far gone yet.
Recalling whatever she could, she carefully removed his Akatsuki cloak, taking care not to disturb him. Fortunately, his clothes underneath were only somewhat wet, and they were already drying out. Then she removed her own cloak, realizing that she was almost in the same state as he was. With a shudder, she squeezed the water out of her cloak, then his, and dried them out as best as possible. It would have to do. After one last shake, she draped his cloak on top of him, crouching nearby and huddling inside her own. As he drifted in and out of watching her, she paid close watch, checking his temperature every few minutes. He wasn't improving as fast as she wanted - he needed to sleep, but for some reason he seemed to be fighting it. "Pein-sama, you need to sleep. I'll watch out for you."
He stared up at her. "You... are you sure?"
"Yes, it's fine, please get some rest." He nodded, but he still stared at the ceiling, exhausted but maybe it was possible to be too tired to sleep? Another sigh, and she smiled inwardly. Such a stubborn man. She watched him for a moment, wondering what to do. Then, softly, she hummed a song they both knew from a long time ago, before they had been attacked by anyone, before Jiraiya had chanced upon their village to help them, long before the pain and suffering. He stared incredulously, shocked for a moment, but then he remembered too, and relaxed a little. Her voice barely rose above the rain, but he heard it clearly, and before long he was asleep. She smiled and leaned back against the wall, exhausted now that her task was over, and also feel asleep, not worried about enemies attacking. In this rain, who in their right mind would be outside? Even elite Akatsuki like themselves were held up.
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She woke before he did, as she always did every day. There was really no reason why she did this, it's just the way things were. The morning was still cold, although not as frigid as overnight. Rain still poured from the sky, an unceasing torrent beating the vegetation ruthlessly. Silently, she watched as the storm pelted an even beat on stone and dirt, and she remembered that song again. Her head moved slightly as the music ran through her head, and it seemed as though she could hear it. Lightning cracked, distracting her, and she realized that she WAS hearing it... Pein was still laying back, but he had put his arm over his eyes, humming the song to himself, and a tear escaped from his sleeve. He didn't even know why he was crying. Killing someone never made him cry or feel remorse, destroying villages only fulfilled his mission. Why would he be feeling anything now of all times?
Konan watched him, her own eyes threatening to fill with tears. She wasn't sure either why their sorrow suddenly appeared there in the middle of nowhere, trapped in a cave and waiting for hell to come. But she decided to stay strong, if only for his sake. He tried his best to push back the pain, she knew he needed to let it out. She would be there for him, now and always. With an odd kindness, she pushed his arm back from his face and smiled at him, wiping away a stray tear. "Pein-sama... you shouldn't hold back all the time." She must have been crazy to do what she did just then, but she leaned forward and kissed his cheek slightly, suddenly wondering why she did that. What if he didn't like that? Would he get angry? What was she thinking? But to her surprise, he didn't do anything at all for a moment, just stared at her blankly. And possibly even to his own surprise, he reached up and touched the side of her face, nothing special, but for his usually unemotional self, this was far beyond normal for him. Naturally, she was worried. Was he still feeling sick? But the hand on her cheek was warm and regular, pulse beating strong and steady. There... was nothing wrong at all.
This was his inner self, something even Konan wasn't aware of. As close to his heart as she may have been, even then she was startled by this revelation. Though the gesture had been small, it seemed an emotional outburst, yelling out and demanding attention. Her own tears fell down her cheeks, dripping down his hand, but he paid no attention, simply watching, waiting. It was long before either of them did anything, just content to be in the other's company a while longer. Inside her eyes, he saw something that had been kept within her for too long. What was it? Longing? Longing for what? Companions? From what little he knew of women, he remembered that they tended to be more social than men. But that pain, that look of... it was almost fear. It was something entirely new.
Maybe he was being too brash. Maybe he was doing the right thing. But being who he was, the one who simply did and never looked back, he never considered what he was about to do. Maybe she didn't want to. Maybe their relationship was already too fragile. But being who he was, he had to simply do and not look back. He leaned close, keeping his hand on her face, not letting her back up as she was accustomed to doing. Instead he drew closer than she ever imagined he'd be, and he kissed her full on the lips, sloppy, inexperienced, but by no means lacking in pleasure. But she didn't struggle away anymore, and stayed as she was, only a finger's width away from that curious, unpredictable mouth of his. What was this sudden emotion coming from him? She was all but overcome by this odd sensation. "Pein-Sama...?"
He shook his head. "No, no more Sama, I wish you'd stop doing that."
She smiled weakly. "Alright... Pein."
What was it he was feeling? Heck, what had caused him to kiss her, much less enjoy it? He didn't know enough to place a finger on the right emotion. It wasn't lust. If that had been all, he should have felt it long before. Friendship? If that had been all, he wouldn't have kissed her. Was... was it love after all? Why hadn't he felt this before? Why did Konan bring out every emotion he'd ever had? What was so different about her? Maybe he would never know why, but right now this was the way things were. He watched her from her precarious perch so near to him, so close to that bridge he had crossed. But he was content simply to watch, and brushed another stray tear from her cheek idly, tracing down the path it fell into.
She stared to the side. "Pein-Sa... er, Pein?"
He looked at her until she looked back at him. "Hmm?"
"I feel... something strange, I barely remember it. It was so long ago, do you remember? Before the war? When we still had families, and friends? What was it we felt back then? It felt like we'd never be alone, but then we were. Was that what love felt like? I don't remember it too well."
He thought about that for a moment. "Maybe. I don't really remember either. But I remember we were always together, with--... with him, and I remember being happy, but it has faded so much since then."
"Maybe if... Mm... well, if you were alright with it, I guess..."
He smiled an odd, wide grin, something his facial muscles even protested. "Konan, please stop asking me to approve everything you do."
She paused cautiously, then nodded, and belatedly returned the previous kiss, but she was a bit more talented, and it grew from a simple grazing to something deep and intimate, as if expressing every pent up desire that lay latent within her.
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Next Time: What will become of this newly found thing called emotion? Are they destined to be together, or fated to be drawn apart? Find out whenever the heck I get the next chapter done!